A Perfect Love
by Robicorn
Summary: Dr Edward Cullen is a twenty-six year old single dad who is sexually frustrated until he meets his sister Alice's college roommate Bella Swan. Sparks fly over Thanksgiving weekend. Lemons. Collab with Robinated Cont of 1 shot for Ninapolitins DILF contest
1. Chapter 1

**Ninapolitan's**

**D.I.L.F. Contest**

**A Perfect Love**

**By: Robicorn**

**Edward/Bella**

**Human**

SM owns Twilight and the characters not me.

EPOV

"Daddy, Daddy!" My three-year-old baby yelled for me excitedly. Her blonde curls bounced as she ran towards me, stretching her arms out towards me.

"Hey princess, did you have a good day?" I crouched down as she leapt into my arms. She gave me a wide smile, nodded her head, and stuck her thumb in her mouth as she placed her head on my shoulder. I ran my hands through her soft silky hair while I gently kissed her forehead and smiled. I felt her breathing steady and knew then that she was already asleep.

It was my favorite part of the day, when I finally got to pick her up from daycare after a long hard day at the hospital. It was moments like this that made all the bullshit I had to deal with everyday disappear. Nothing mattered more to me than Emma and her happiness.

Looking at her closely, her facial features reminded me once again of her mother. I know I had no right to be mad at her, but whenever I recall what happened, I couldn't help it.

I met her mother, Kate, when I was only twenty-three years old and I had just started medical school. Kate and I had been seeing each other causally at that time. We weren't in love. We were just young and having fun.

_One night, as I was studying for an important exam, I heard a knock on my door and got up to answer it. Little did I know, my life was about to change the minute I opened it. _

_Opening the door, I saw Kate standing outside, looking so worried and scared. She didn't talk immediately. She just stood there, her face staring down at the floor. I didn't say anything. I realized that something was wrong, so I just let her be._

_A couple of seconds after, she finally broke the silence. _

"_Edward, can we talk?" Kate asked me anxiously. _

_I was afraid that she wanted a commitment out of me, and I just didn't feel that strongly for her. I admit that she was a very cute girl though. She had big blue eyes, heart shaped face, loose blonde curls, and she was a bit on the short side, maybe Five feet, two inches. _

"_Sure," I calmly replied as I stepped away from my apartment door, allowing her to come inside my apartment. _

_Once inside, I motioned for her to sit down toward the couch behind her and so did I._

"_Is everything okay, Kate? You have me a bit worried..." I trailed off as I saw a tear slide down her cheek. _

"_I'm… I'm… I'm pregnant, Edward," she half whispered and half cried as she looked up at me._

_I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights as soon as I heard those words come out of her mouth. Never in my life did I imagine myself to be a father at such a young age. I always thought that I'd be married first with a woman I was head over heels in love with and be finished med school, before I had my first child. _

_I was neither of the two. _

_I was barely surviving at this point in my life because of med school. How the hell was I going to raise a kid and study at the same time?_

_I was brought back to reality when Kate started to speak again and voice out her concerns. _

"_I'm not ready to do this Edward. I'm really scared, and I don't see myself with you for the rest of my life." I moved closer to her and rubbed her back soothingly._

_I realized that she was just as scared as I was. The thing was, neither of us wanted this to happen. Both of us never expected this so early in our lives. We both had our dreams we wanted to achieve in life, but whether we liked it or not, this was going to happen. The best we could do now was to face it. _

"_It's okay, we'll figure it out," I assured her. _

_Eight months later, Emma Grace Cullen was born, becoming the love of my life. _

_Abortion was never an option so we decided to give the baby up for adoption. I agreed with her at first because I figured it was the smartest thing to do._

_However, once the pregnancy became more real, things started to change. The first time I felt my baby move when I placed my hand on top of Kate's belly, it felt like Heaven. That's when I realized that I had fallen in love with her… with my baby. It was nothing like I had ever felt before in my life. It was indescribable._

_It's funny how you can fall in love with someone you haven't even met._

_I began to fall in love with her when I went with Kate to her Obstetrician for her doctor's appointment. I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time, and saw her tiny body squirm on the ultrasound screen. Those were experiences that simply can't be described. _

_When I held Emma for the very first time, it felt amazing. She simply astounded me. I couldn't stop smiling. It felt like everything in the world was perfect, __just like my baby was. I never wanted to let her go. It was life changing. It was single handedly the most beautiful feeling in the world. _

_After that experience, I finally came to decision I that I wasn't going to give her to up for adoption. I didn't find giving up my child worth it just for the sake of a successful medical career. _

_I finally told Kate that I refused to sign my parental rights over, and she became furious. I begged her to give motherhood a chance, assuring her that I would be there every step of the way. After much debate, she considered it._

_Unfortunately, it didn't last long._

_After three weeks, she showed up at my doorstep in the middle of the night, Emma in one hand, and a diaper bag in the other hand._

"_I can't do this. She won't stop crying. She won't stop spitting up and I don't get any sleep. I just can't handle this, Edward. You wanted her, right? Well, you take her then." She shoved Emma to me as if she was nothing important and ran away._

_She didn't even let me speak or give me a chance to discuss things through with her. She just left._

_I was shocked, even though I knew I shouldn't have been. She made it perfectly clear for quite sometime that she had no desire to be a mother._

_Even with that knowledge, I still hoped for the best. I did everything I could to make things easier for her. I stopped by every chance I got, to see how they were doing. I paid all the expenses at the hospital, as well as the other necessities a baby needs. On top of that, I gave her money every week, and I even took Emma on the weekends._

_I looked down at my beautiful daughter and hoped that Kate would come to her senses. I didn't want Emma to grow up without a mother. I was hoping that she was just overwhelmed, and that she would be back for her daughter. _

_She never came back. _

_I tried to look for her. I called her family, friends, and neighbors, but none of them would give me any information. I felt so sad for Emma because she'd never know the love of her mother. I couldn't imagine how someone would be able to abandoned their own child. At the same time, I was scared to raise Emma on my own. I was afraid that I wouldn't raise her right._

_Thankfully, I had my family's support. They took turns in helping whenever I had something important coming up in med school. Emma didn't have the love of her mother, but she did have the love of my sister, Alice, and my mom. Not to mention my dad too, who seemed to be wrapped around her finger. It was more than enough to fill the void in her life. All of them were really good with Emma. I was so thankful that she had my love and theirs as well. I would never do to Emma what Kate did. _

_I would never abandon her._

I stood carefully, cradling her against my chest. I noticed Angela, her teacher, walking towards us. She was a very nice lady. She was one of the few women who didn't flirt with me.

"Good afternoon, Angela." I whispered, not wanting to wake up Emma from her sleep.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Cullen," she replied sweetly.

"No nap today?" I asked.

"No luck, Dr. Cullen." I nodded, grabbing her things from her cubby and made my way out to the car.

As I made my to the car, a few of the moms flirted with me. I always dismissed their advances because either they were married, or I didn't find them attractive enough. Even if they were, I didn't have time to date. Between my new residency and taking care of Emma by myself, there was no time to get to know anyone at the moment. At the same time, there was no way I was parading a bunch of easy sluts in and out of my apartment.

The result? A lot of maturbation

I did, however, date a nurse from the hospital were I worked. Her name was Tanya. We dated for a while, and it was easy to get to know her since I worked with her almost every day. She was nice, and I actually considered being in a serious relationship with her. We never went to my house because I wasn't ready for her to meet Emma. I had to make sure that she was truly sincere, someone who Emma would like when they finally met.

Once I was ready for the two of them to meet, Tanya wasn't. When I mentioned Emma to her, she didn't seem interested anymore, and so I had to end it. Emma and I were a package deal. If they didn't want her, then they could just forget it.

That was a year ago. I was in serious need of human touch.

I placed Emma in her car seat, bulking her in carefully. I couldn't resist giving her another kiss on her little button nose this time. She just looked like an angel in her sleep. She looked so peaceful. It was as if nothing in the world could harm her.

I've made a lot of sacrifices in my life because of Emma. I would never regret any of it. She comes first in my life and that's how things will always be.

When we got home, I gently woke her up from her slumber. I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't have her sleeping at six o'clock because she would never get to bed on time later.

"Wake up, Princess," I murmured, shaking her gently.

I looked down on her angelic face, and I smiled to myself. She obviously didn't hear me as her eyes were still closed. Her breathing was still even. Her heartbeat was steady.

I tried again.

"Em, wake up…" I tried a couple more times before she finally woke up.

"Hmmm… Are we home already?" she whimpered, clearly still sleepy.

"Yes Princess, we are home. Now come on, let's get inside." I scooped her up in my arms and carried her as we walked towards the house.

When we finally reached inside, she squirmed in my grip and I set her down gently on her feet. She took off as if she just had an energy drink, running towards the sofa in the middle of the room. I found it amazing how she acted so energized, when only two minutes ago, she was asleep.

On her way, she tripped on the carpet, and I was at her side in a flash. I don't think I can ever get used to her getting hurt.

I lifted her off the ground and sat her in my lap in the middle of the sofa.

"Are you okay?" I asked, checking to see if she bruised herself.

Emma nodded her head, and looked around the room eagerly again as if nothing happened. I checked anyway to see if she was telling the truth.

She seemed to have found what she was looking for, because her face immediately brightened up. I followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at the remote control for the TV.

She looked at me again and said, "Daddy, I wanna watched the TV!" She exclaimed hopefully, her bright emerald eyes glinting.

How could I say no to that face?

"Sure, sweetie. You can watch something while daddy makes us dinner." I told her lovingly.

"Yay!" she cried happily. She gave me quick hug before running off to get the remote control and handing it to me.

While I made us dinner, I let her watch her favorite show, iCarly. I knew that it was way too old for her, but she seemed to love Freddy so much. She even went as far as to give me a heart attack when she said he was her boyfriend.

She was smarter then I gave her credit for, and she understood the show. Besides, it was better than Barney or Sponge Bob. It's not as if she was asking to watch True Blood or something.

At dinner, I placed the pasta in front of her, and she smiled widely at me. I heard her stomach grumble, and I couldn't help but chuckle. She grabbed the fork beside her and dug in hungrily. Pasta was her favorite food.

From time to time, I would reach over and smooth out her hair while she ate or wipe spaghetti sauce off her mouth.

After dinner, I gave her a bath using her favorite princess bubbles, and dressed her in her pajamas. I brought her to her room that Alice recently decorated for me.

The room had all white furniture with a day bed. I had just moved Emma from her crib to a bed, but I still put up a rail to keep her from falling out of bed. We painted the walls a pale pink, and my mother drew cherry blossom branches on the wall behind her bed. They did that because according to them, it represents feminine beauty, and Emma was beautiful.

Of course she was…. She was my baby girl…

Emma Grace was spelled out on the wall above her dresser. She had shelves with white baskets where we kept her toys in. But it only serves its purpose when she listens and actually cleans up the toys. I rarely have the time or energy to get her to put her toys away so she was pretty spoiled by me. I cursed myself as I maneuvered around the Barbie's and baby dolls strewn across the floor.

"Emma, baby, your toys are all over. You have to remember to put them away for Daddy, okay? Help me pick them up, please?" I asked her as I put her down and began picking up the toys.

Thankfully, I had a girl come in and clean once a week. I wished I could get her in more often, but I just didn't have the money. Not after I worked out two hundred a week for Emma's daycare.

After I picked up most of the toys, I arranged Emma's bed so she could sleep.

"Okay, Emma. It's bedtime," I said, as she bounced over to me and climbed up the bed.

When I finally tucked her in bed, I asked her, "Do you want daddy to read you Cinderella?" Emma looked at me, her eyes lit up. Cinderella was her favorite story.

"Really?" she asked excitedly.

I nodded my head. I walked across to her shelves to get the book. I walked back to her, and climbed in her bed with her, and started to read, "Once upon a time...."

A couple of minutes after, her eyes drifted shut, and a moment later, I could hear her breathing evened out confirming she was asleep.

I sighed as I looked down at her angelic face and kissed her goodnight.

"Goodnight baby girl…" I spoke softly.

I quietly left the room, closed the lights, and left the door open halfway, so that the lights in the hallway would reach her room. She was still a little scared of the dark.

I went back to my room and started packing a bag for Thanksgiving weekend with my parents in Forks. We were leaving tomorrow after I was finished with my shift at the hospital, and probably wouldn't arrive until late. I was really looking forward to having some help with Emma. I knew between Alice and my mom, they wouldn't let her have a moments rest.

They loved to spoil her, as if I didn't spoil her enough.

BPOV

"Please come with me, Bella!" My best friend begged or more like whined for me to go home with her for the Thanksgiving weekend. I loved Alice, but I hated feeling like a charity case.

This wasn't how I had originally intended to spend my Thanksgiving. I was supposed to spend Thanksgiving with my family, but they bailed out last minute. My mom and my dad ran off to Egypt for no reason, other than that's what they wanted to do. I was only in my second year of college, and my parents already ditched me. It made me feel like they couldn't wait to get rid of me.

They promised to be back for Christmas.

But I was a hundred percent certain, that it was more of my mom's decision to take off to Egypt. Charlie was never one to love traveling. He liked keeping his feet on the ground. My mom was such a fucking flake it wasn't even funny anymore.

I didn't want to spend Thanksgiving alone, but I didn't want to impose on Alice and her family either.

"Bella, you are my best friend. There's no way in hell I am letting you spend Thanksgiving alone. My family would love to have you. I'm not taking no for answer." Alice stated firmly as if I had no other option but to say yes.

"Fine…" I sighed, feeling defeated.

Knowing Alice, I should've known that it was pointless to argue with her or go against her wishes. It was always a lost cause.

From what Alice told me, Thanksgiving at the Cullen's house was a pretty big event. She had two brothers, Edward and Emmett. Emmett was the eldest in the family. He was married to a beautiful bitch, Rosalie, the ice queen. Apparently, she hasn't been very easy to get along with since they have been unable to conceive.

Her other brother, Edward, was the one I wanted to meet… desperately. The pictures I saw of him made my panties wet. He was magnificent. His hair was always messy, his jaw line was sharp, and his eyes were bright green. He always had this mischievous smile, kind of crooked. I could only imagine his beauty in the flesh.

Alice talked about him a lot… well, mostly about his daughter, Emma. It was obvious that the little girl had Alice wrapped around her finger. She was three going on fifteen thanks to Alice.

She had pictures of Emma all over our place. She's always showing me the newest ones. She really was a beautiful little girl. She had blonde curls, big green eyes, a round face, and always had the biggest smiles.

According to Alice, Edward got caught up with a girl, Kate, while in his early years of med school. They weren't in love. They were just seeing each other casually, kind of friends with benefits. However, things changed when Kate ended up pregnant. From what Alice told me, Kate couldn't handle taking care of Emma and just left her with Edward three years ago. No one has seen or heard from her ever since.

I found it amazing how Edward could struggle through med school in Seattle, all the while raising Emma.

On the plane ride to Forks, I really wanted to ask a million questions about Edward. Unfortunately, the only information I got from her was he just turned twenty-seven, and that Alice thought he was sexual frustrated. It seemed that this DILF had no time to impress any ladies.

I wondered if I could impress him.

"What about just picking someone up in a bar or something?" I questioned Alice.

"Sure he could get all the one night stands he wants. Problem is he can't have strange women in and out of his place with Emma in the house. It's not exactly the best example to teach your kid." Alice briefly told me, before she went into a rant again about the funny things Emma had done recently.

When we arrived, the Cullen's were all very welcoming. Carlisle and Esme were both so sweet and hospitable. They showed me the guest room on the third floor, which also happened to be across the hall from Edward's old bedroom. He and Emma would be arriving any minute and they would be staying across the hall for the weekend.

I realized that he would be sleeping so close to me tonight.

Since I still had time before the others arrived, I took the opportunity to unpack some of my stuff. When I finally arranged everything, I freshened up in the bathroom and headed downstairs.

When I reached the landing, I saw him.

Oh. My. God.

He looked like a model fresh out of a fashion magazine. Actually, scratch that. He looked like a Greek god who had taken the form of a human being.

He looked a thousand times more attractive than what I've seen of him in the pictures.

He simply took my breath away.

He stood a few feet away, holding a sleeping Emma. Her arms were clutched around his neck, and I could see her fingers twisting his gorgeous hair. He was holding her as if she was the most fragile thing in the world.

I made no indication that I was there, and he didn't hear me. It was okay, though. I had more time to ogle at his pretty face.

A couple of minutes after, his eyes finally met mine. I knew it was rude to stare and so I tried my best to shift my gaze. The problem was I couldn't. It was like I was frozen in place.

It was a good thing that Alice came skipping in from the kitchen and began to take Emma from Edward's arms. She obviously didn't want to be apart from her dad, because I saw her tighten her grip around his neck.

"Shhh, baby girl… It's okay… Go with Aunt Alice," he soothed her, kissing her forehead gently.

I continued down the steps toward Edward and Alice.

"Edward, this is Bella. She's my roommate and best friend from Penn. Bella, this is Edward, and this little angel in my arms is Emma." Alice introduced us, quite enthusiastically if I may add.

Edward shook my hand and his gaze lingered over my body, almost as if he was undressing me in his mind.

I can't say I have any problem with that.

I extended my hand, and he took it appreciatively. When our skin touched, I felt a surge of electricity flow through our hands. I almost jumped when I felt it. Luckily, I was able to restrain myself. He must not have felt it because he was looking completely calm.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella. Alice has told us quite a lot about you. I'm really glad you could make it this weekend." Edward spoke as he flashed his gorgeous crooked smile at me.

I felt my legs weaken when I saw it. If he wasn't holding my hand, I would've probably dropped dead on the floor by now.

He finally released my hand, and I couldn't help but feel empty without him touching me.

"I'm just going to put Emma in bed." Alice stated as she began to walk up the stairs with her.

It was just Edward and me now… Alone…

"Alice has told me a lot about you too." I continued the conversation with the only DILF I have ever met. "Well, she mostly talks about Emma… she is a very proud aunt." I sincerely told him.

"Yeah, Alice is great with Emma. Although I am a bit upset. She didn't tell me her roommate Bella was so beautiful." He told me with a wink as he moved closer to me.

I licked my lips and smiled at him. I could feel his breath on my face and could smell his sweet scent.

"You know, I'm staying across the hall from you… you should meet me there later… I'll wait for you at midnight?" I asked him seductively.

I didn't wait for him to tell me whether he was game. I just turned around and walked back up the stairs.

I could see that he wanted me the same way I wanted him. I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass me by, I wanted him.

I didn't exactly prepare for a weekend of seduction. I didn't think Edward would actually consider me. I didn't have any matching bra and underwear sets with me, so I put on my Cherry pajama set. I knew they were a bit juvenile, but I didn't have much to work with in the way of sexy lingerie. The shorts were short and hugged my thighs, and the tank left a little bit of my stomach exposed. I didn't even bother with underwear.

At midnight, I heard someone knock gently on the door. I asked who it was, but there was no answer. I was hoping it was Edward, and I went to the door and pulled it open, taking a deep breath.

He didn't even speak. The second I opened the door, he literally attacked me as he nudged the bedroom door shut with his foot.

He swiftly grabbed me and kissed me hard. I instinctively wrapped my arms securely around his neck, pulling him much closer to me, and began to assault his smooth warm lips. He moaned against my mouth, kissing me back greedily.

He continued to kiss me eagerly, never letting my lips take control. I pulled away just enough to catch my breath and grab a hold of his bottom lip. I took it into my mouth and sucked on it intensely.

With a small growl, his hands fell to the back of my legs, grabbed the outside of my thighs, picked me up, my legs automatically wrapped around his waist, locking at the ankles. We crashed into each other again, our mouths fighting for dominance.

"I've been thinking of you all night." He panted against my mouth.

"What about me?" I kissed his neck, letting my lips linger at every spot.

"How I was going to have my way with you tonight."

He started to walk back toward the bed with me still wrapped in his body. He came in wearing only flannel pants. His chest was defined, and he had a six-pack. His tongue was moving fast and hard in my mouth. I felt his hand tangle in my hair and then travel down to my ass. Edward placed me on the bed leaned down to me.

Edward broke the kiss only to remove my shirt. He stared down at my exposed breasts before placing his open mouth on them roughly. He looked up from my breast and finally spoke.

"Do you always invite strangers to your room Bella?" He asked in an authoritative tone.

"N-n-no" I finally spoke out.

Edward stood, and I could see his hardness through his pants. It was huge.

He pulled off his pants, allowing his cock out of the confines of his pants. I reached for it immediately and started to suck on it.

"God Bella, your mouth feels so good around my dick." Edward panted as I swirled the head of his penis with my tongue.

He began to palm my breasts and pinch my nipples as I moved his cock in and out of my mouth, allowing it to hit the back of my throat. I could feel the wetness between my legs. I moaned while my lips were wrapped around his dick.

Edward pulled his dick out of my mouth and stroked it a few times. I leaned back on my elbows as I wiped some salvia from the corner of my mouth.

"Your tits are amazing Bella. Do you mind if I fuck them?" Edward asked me.

I shook my head, and Edward placed his cock between my breasts. He placed his hands on my breasts and pushed them together to squeeze his slick hardness while he thrust back and forth.

I moaned in pleasure.

"You like that Bella?" he asked me.

"Ah…huh…" I let out in a strangled voice.

"I can't hear you… Do you like it when I fuck your tits? Answer me!"

"Yes!" I cried out.

I loved that he talked dirty.

I started thrusting my hips up a little desperate for some friction. Edward released my breasts and moved down my body. I lifted my hips so he could pull down my shorts easily.

"Fuck, no panties?" Edward asked. I bite my lip as he rubbed over my swollen pussy. He let one finger slide in and out, then over my clit.

"You're so wet, Bella" Edward breathed in my ear as he continued to move his hands over my slick folds. I arched my back, moving his fingers deeper inside me.

"Please Edward…" I begged him.

He pulled his fingers from my pussy and brought them to my mouth. He inserted the two fingers into my mouth as I sucked off the slickness from my pussy.

"Turn over," Edward ordered. I turned around getting in the doggy style position. I felt his hand rubbing over my ass, smacking it lightly, before he entered inside me swift and hard.

I let out a small yelp, and Edward began to move in and out of me harder and faster. He gripped my hips and pulled me toward him keeping a tight grip on my sides.

Edward would slap my ass occasionally, telling me I had been a bad girl.

"Now be a good girl Bella, and rub your swollen clit for me," Edward said through his grunts. I complied and began rubbing my sensitive clit with my index finger.

I felt my orgasm coming and I rubbed myself harder.

"Edward... please don't stop... don't stop... please..." I begged him as he continued to move in and out of me much faster and harder than before.

My walls began to tighten around his cock, and I felt my climax coming. Edward grabbed me by the back of my hair and pulled me up swiftly.

"I'm gonna come Bella, turn around." I did, and before I knew it, Edward's come shot all over my breast as he pumped it out.

He walked into the bathroom attached to my room and grabbed a hand towel. He wiped the come off my breasts and pulled his pants back on.

"You're not going to tell anyone about this, right?" He asked somewhat worried.

"Of course not" I told him. It would be a bit awkward to say the least.

He kissed my cheek and walked out. I felt hot and sticky so I decided to go to the bathroom and take a shower. When I fell asleep later that night, it was the first time I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

EPOV

Waking up the next morning, I felt so refreshed and I was boner free for the first time in months. I glanced at the clock surprised to see that it was ten o'clock in the morning. I usually wake up at seven o'clock because of Emma. Then I remembered that Grandma and Aunt Alice would have probably been more than happy to wake up that early with Emma.

I decided to take a shower first before I went down. I was certain that my family was keeping Emma busy and entertained.

As I took my shower, my thoughts drifted off to last night. I couldn't believe how beautiful Bella was. Alice did mention that she was indeed beautiful, but her description didn't do Bella justice.

I was surprised that she invited me so quickly to her bed. I didn't take Bella as that kind of girl. But I wasn't going to miss the chance to get laid either. God knows how long it has been so I wasn't shy and didn't say no.

As I thought about Bella in the shower, I felt myself getting hard again. I wondered if she would be up for another round.

I really did like her, but it wasn't like a relationship was possible. From what Alice told me, her family lived in Phoenix. She goes home there whenever school let out, and I wasn't sure how to even attempt a long distance relationship.

Her college is not remotely close to me. She goes to the University of Pennsylvania, and it was a plane ride away. I was really interested in what her major was. I'm sure Alice told me, but I never really paid much attention. It was different now though. I really wanted to get to know her.

After fixing myself up, I went downstairs and heard the laughter of Emma, echoing throughout the house. I figured Alice was playing with her because she loved to do that.

Getting to the last step, my heart fluttered when I saw Bella was the one making Emma laugh. She was chasing her around on the ground, back on all fours.

Crap! There goes my dick getting hard again.

Bella caught Emma and pulled her into her lap. She raised one clawed hand and started to tickle her. Emma squealed, laughed harder, and squirmed to get away from her. Eventually, Bella stopped, and kissed her head lovingly.

It really surprised me that Emma clung to Bella so easily. Emma doesn't take to females as easily as males, hence her boyfriend Fredward Benson on iCarly.

Seeing Bella interact with Emma the way she did, only made her that much more attractive. She was already too beautiful for words. When I saw her with my daughter, my attraction grew a little more.

"Good Morning" I finally said, making my presence known.

When they heard me, Bella looked up to me and blushed. Emma, on the other hand, jumped off from Bella's lap and ran toward me.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed as I reached down and picked her up.

"You sound like you're having fun!" I told her as I kissed her nose.

"Uh huh, Belwa is funny!" Emma giggled, clapping her hands.

"I hope you don't mind… Alice and Esme needed to start dinner so they asked me to keep an eye on her instead." Bella trailed off.

"No, not at all… I was just a bit surprised. Emma doesn't warm up to many girls and the ones she does its takes her awhile." I told her.

"Emma want to watch Freddy" Emma whined a bit at me, pointing at the TV.

"Who's Freddy?" Bella asked.

"My boyfwiend!" Emma told her proudly.

I shook my head and laughed with Bella.

"One iCarly, and that's it." I told Emma.

I turned on the TV and found iCarly. I wasn't too thrilled that it was the hour movie iGoToJapan, but I told her she could watch it. So I put it on for her and sat on the couch with her on my lap. Emma did her best to try to sing along to the theme song, and I helped her a little.

"I know you so somehow da wowld will change fow me and be so wondewfull. Live life, breathe air I know somehow we gonna get to there and feel so wondewfull." Emma sang jumping to her feet for the chorus when it picked up. "So wake up the membews of my nation, it your chance to be. ders no chance unles you take one and the time to see the bwighter side of ev-we situation. Some things are meant to be so gimme your best and leave the west to me...yeah leave the west to me...leave it all to me..." Emma closed out the rest of the song by herself.

I glanced at Bella who was seating at far side of the couch. I saw that she was laughing with us. It felt so good to have her share this moment with us.

We were like one happy family.

"I want baba milk!" Emma demanded. She didn't actually drink a bottle still, but I never bothered changing the name when she started using a sippy cup.

I rose off the couch and went to the kitchen to get her a sippy cup of milk. I said good morning to Alice and my mom, thanking them for letting me sleep in a little. I went back to Emma who was now lying with her head in Bella's lap. Bella twirled Emma's curls in her fingers and just looked so natural with her. I approached them, giving Emma her sippy and sat down.

"She is really gorgeous, Edward. I can see how she has Alice and you wrapped around her finger." Bella told me. I could tell that she was sincere.

"You're a natural with her." I told her.

"Really?" She questioned. "I don't know… I don't have much experience with kids"

"You're gonna make a great mother one day, Bella." It was the truth.

"Huh…. I never really thought about having kids…." She turned head around as if she was in deep thought.

"Can I meet you again tonight?" I propositioned to her, keeping my voice low. She bit her lip, and it was so sexy that I felt my dick grow hard again.

She simply nodded.

**If you like it, and want me to continue you have to tell me, I won't unless people are interested in more. **


	2. Chapter 2

**SM Owns Twilight **

**Thanks for waiting for this, but it was a labor of love and I think you all will be very pleased!! This story is a collab between Robicorn and Robinated. **

**Much love to Keepingupwiththekids and Dolphin2598 for the beta skills. Are you in need of some kick ass beta's? Well, Keepingupwiththekids and Dolphin2598 are joining together to offer their beta service for The Fandom Gives Back. $50 will get you them to beta a story till completion! The link is on my profile!!**

**Chapter 2 **

**BPOV **

Did Edward really just ask me if he could come to my room again tonight? I think I nodded yes, I _**HOPE**_ I nodded yes. I sneaked a peek at him through the side of my eyes as Emma lay in my lap drinking her milk. He really is amazingly handsome, and he wants to fuck me again tonight.

Shit. What am I going to wear? The cherry ensemble was the best I had to offer. Other than that, I just have a few skanky thongs and a sports bra. I wasn't planning to have a romp in the hay with Alice's brother, and definitely did not pack accordingly.

"Bella, what do you think?" I looked up at Alice. Apparently she had been speaking to me. I couldn't hide that I hadn't been listening to her so I asked, "About what?"

"About heading to Port Angeles in a bit to grab a few more items Mom needs to finish her Thanksgiving dinner presentation. We can hit the tea shop for lunch and maybe check out a few of the vintage stores I like while we are there."

I almost threw Emma off my lap, "Absolutely, when do we leave?" This means I might be able find some lingerie that would be suitable for Edward's midnight visit or multiple visits if I am lucky.

"Mom is putting out lunch for the boys and Emma. As soon as she is done, we can leave."

Emma had fallen asleep on my lap so I scooped her up and moved to put her in Edward's lap. As I set her down, the back of my hand touched his jeans on his upper thigh and across his crotch and I felt his dick harden. I smirked to myself and looked up into his eyes. Yes, I was definitely going to have to find a way to procure some lingerie on this trip into town.

**EPOV**

I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. How amazing she was with Emma. How she held my daughter in her arms. Bella's beauty intensified every time I glanced at her holding the most precious person in my life.

When Bella set Emma down in my lap and her hand touched my jeans, I instantly hardened. She felt it, I could tell by the smirk on her plump lips and the way her brown eyes stared into mine. Damn this was going to be the longest Thanksgiving Day on record.

**BPOV **

Port Angeles was a cute town aptly named as it sat on the water. There was a strip of shops on the waterfront, including the tea house Alice and Esme loved. Tea houses really aren't my thing, but it was a quaint place and they had great sandwiches, one of which I ate hastily in my rush to find a store with lingerie.

Once Alice and Esme had finished their lunches, Esme went on her way to grab a few items she needed to finish setting the table to make it perfect, and Alice and I hit some of her favorite stores. The first was a vintage store with loads of Goth clothes. Alice went to the dresses and I went to the "dress up" area where there were corsets, stockings, and heels. I wondered if Edward liked bondage type underwear or if he was a frilly lace panties kind of guy.

I figured anything beat him seeing the cherries again and I picked a middle of the road, dark purple corset that had hooks for thigh-high stockings. One that would be easy to put on myself as it only had five or six hooks in the back. I picked out some sheer black stockings that had one thick black line up the back of the legs and some black 4-inch heels that definitely said bad girl. I knew I'd have trouble walking in the heels, but heck, it wasn't far from the door to the bed, and I'd have Edward to help stay up straight.

While Alice was in the dressing room, I paid for my items. I had grabbed a dress off the rack so I could act like that was what I had bought, not the naughty underwear I planned on wearing for her brother later that night.

We hit a few more shops and I was able to add to my purchases two new lacy bra and panty sets and a couple of flimsy nighties. I figured that if the sex was as good as last night, Edward might want to visit me every night of this trip. Oh hell, who am I kidding, I hope he wanted to visit me every night, and the uncomfortable feeling in my panties told me I wanted it more than I would even admit to myself.

**EPOV **

It seemed like the girls were gone forever. I took Emma upstairs for her nap after lunch. Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie arrived not long after. Jasper had to fly in separate from Alice and Bella because the head chef at his restaurant, Paradigm, had gone on a vacation to France and left Jasper in charge. The head chef was to arrive back the day after Thanksgiving and take his kitchen back, so Jasper was free to join us for the holiday. I was glad. I really hoped he'd be my brother-in-law someday.

The newcomers settled into their rooms, and had just come downstairs when Mom, Alice, and Bella arrived back home. I noticed Bella had several bags and I couldn't help but wonder if they held anything naughty for our rendezvous. My eyes caught hers and my dick hardened again as she smiled at me. My jeans were really starting to strain being around her, but I couldn't help the primal reaction I had whenever I caught a glimpse of her. I really had to focus my attention elsewhere to make the thoughts of grabbing her tits and riding her from behind go away.

Jasper ran over to kiss Alice, and then gave Bella a bear hug, "How you doing Bells?" Jasper asked as he mussed up her hair. It was obvious they were close and that made me suddenly jealous. What was it about this girl that made me feel this way? I was really good at pushing away romantic feelings for women because of Emma, but this girl, she just really had some kind of spell on me. Ah well, I'd go with it. It's an easy hook up for the holiday and then we'll each go our separate ways, no harm, no foul - and a whole lot of much needed fun.

Jasper introduced Bella to Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett grabbed Bella up and swung her around the room. It caught her by surprise and you could see the wild look in her eye as he sat her down and she said, "uh, hello". Rosalie gave Bella a curt, nice to meet you, and a limp fish shake of the hand before she turned to help Mom in the kitchen.

Alice had obviously filled Bella in on Rosalie as Bella didn't seem upset or offended over the icy treatment she received. Rose had really retreated into herself since she and Emmett had been trying to conceive. They had seen some of the best doctors in the country and spent a lot of money trying to have a baby, but so far, no luck. She refused to look at adoption as a choice, but I'm hoping she'll realize how many lives she could save by adopting,

As if on cue, my beautiful daughter Emma came screeching down the stairs screaming "Aunt Wose, Aunt Wose" and crashed into Rose's leg. The iciness Rose had just displayed towards Bella instantly melted as she bent to pick up and twirl Emma in the air.

"How's my bestest girl?" Rose asked and Emma replied by pointing at Bella, "Belwa watch iCarly wiff me!"

The look Rose gave Bella could have disintegrated Bella into dust in an instant. Rose is not used to sharing Emma with anyone. She and Emmett live in Seattle and with my crazy residency schedule, Rose has been my rock by helping out with Emma. During hockey season, Emmett travels with the Canucks and Rose is left alone a majority of the time. Emma has many sleepovers with Aunt Rose playing dress-up and watching iCarly.

"Hey guys, you wanna head to other room to see who's beating up who?" Jasper stepped in to ease the tense moment. On holidays, the boys lounge around the living room screaming at the TV and flipping channels so we catch every sporting event we can. The girls do something in the kitchen and let us be until it's time for dinner. Maybe a tad inappropriate in today's world, but it works for the Cullen's. Even Jasper the chef lets Mom rule the kitchen, although I'm positive he'll be whipping up something amazing from the leftovers tomorrow.

I steal one last glance at Bella as Alice steers her towards the kitchen. I feel bad for the way Rose treated her. I made a mental note to make it up to her tonight with soft gentle kisses on those amazing pink lips.

**BPOV **

Alice told me that Rosalie could come off as an icy bitch, so I expected the cool greeting from her. What I hadn't expected were the daggers she shot at me when Emma told Rosalie that I watched iCarly with her. What's the big deal? So I watched a kid show with a kid, big whoop. Clearly, that big bear Emmett needs to show Rosalie some more love and attention.

It was clear that all of us girls, Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Emma, and I, were going to be spending the next few hours in the kitchen together since the guys were going to watch sports in the living room. Great. Just what I need. More close time with Rosalie. To top it off, when Alice started steering me towards the kitchen, Emma hopped down from Rosalie's arms and grabbed my hand to walk with us. Please, pretty please can I go watch sports with the guys?

The guys. Edward was with them. I hope nobody else noticed the rise in his pants when our eyes locked. Just thinking about that moment sent a wave of heat rolling through my body. This was going to be one torturous afternoon with his sister-in-law, but if tonight with him is anything like last night; it will be totally worth it.

Esme already had the bird in the oven since early that morning, so she set about giving us each a task. Emma stood on a stool at the sink and washed all the fruits and vegetables, while Rose chopped. Alice was in charge of making sure all the various dishes got in and out of the oven on time as they were prepared by Esme. It was obvious they had prepared many meals together as a family…this kitchen ran as a well-oiled machine.

"Here Bella, why don't you set the table for me," Esme steered me towards her beautiful buffet.

Obviously nobody had told Esme how clumsy I am. She tasked me with setting the table with her centuries old fine china. It was absolutely beautiful and I held my breath as I carefully set out each piece on the expertly dressed table. Esme had outdone herself, well at least by my standards because holidays usually meant my family was eating at a hotel in an exotic destination or I was by myself heating up a turkey micro-meal.

By comparison, Esme's homemade table had one large arrangement in the middle created with fall pumpkins, squash, and leaves, with a smaller arrangement of fall flowers clustered on each side. A beautiful lace tablecloth adorned the table, with a gold runner running the length. Beautiful crystal candleholders with long tapers topped off the fall look of the table. It was the most gorgeous table I had ever seen and as I was setting it with the beautiful china and crystal stemware, my heart filled with happiness that Alice asked me to come home with her for the holidays. This truly felt like a home.

**EPOV **

Every now and then I would peek in the kitchen to check on Emma, and if I was being honest, on Bella as well. I didn't want Emma to notice me because chances were once she saw me she would become clingy. I love every minute with her, but it's hard to be a single parent. This weekend offered me some time to myself, something that was rare when Emma and I were home.

"Bullshit ref! He was out of bounds! That guy needs glasses!" Emmett screamed at the TV.

"Ah shut up Emmett, you've probably had your eyes knocked around too much to see that he was in," I retorted.

"You seem like you're in good mood, what gives? You finally get laid?" Emmett asked punching me in the shoulder.

"Screw you Em! Can't I just be happy to be home?" I shot back at him. He thought it was funny to talk about my sex life, I should say my lack of a sex life. He was constantly making comments about how sexually repressed I was, or how I needed to be fucked. He told me I could come out with him to the bars, and he would send all the ladies in my direction, once he flashed his wedding ring at them.

I will be the first to admit I barely went a week without having sex before Emma came along. Don't get me wrong, I by no means missed my playboy lifestyle. I did realize after being with Bella last night that I needed some more intimacy in my life.

My mom called us into dinner and I made sure I took the seat next to Bella. I was going to take advantage of her every second I could this weekend. She ended up being in the middle of me and Alice with Emma on my other side.

As dad began to say grace, Emma began to whine. "What is it Em?" I whispered to her.

"I wanted to say da prayer." She pouted crossing her arms.

"Okay, wait for Grandpa to finish his and then you can say yours." As soon as everyone said "Amen," Emma declared it was her turn to pray. We all bowed our heads a second time as Emma began her prayer, "God is great, God is good, and we fank him for this food. By his hand we all are feed, gibe us oh Lord your daily brawth. Amen."

"You mean bread right Princess, not breathe?" Rosalie asked.

"No, brawth." Emma argued with her.

"It's bread, baby." Rosalie argued back, and I shot her a glare to drop it.

"Aunt Wose, it's brawth, God gives us our brawth."

"You're right Emma, God does give us our breath," Bella said looking across me and smiling at Emma. "Whatever," Rose mumbled.

Everyone began to dig into the dishes heartily. I fixed Emma's plate before my own, making sure to cut up her turkey in small pieces.

"Bella, dear what is it that you are studying at Penn?" mom asked, as she poured wine in Bella's glass. Mom and Dad never cared if we drank alcohol once we graduated from high school as long as it was in the house and we were responsible.

"Sociology…I'd like to work with adoptions or foster care. There are so many kids that need a voice. I would love to know I made a difference in a young child's life," Bella responded. No wonder she is so good with Emma.

"Are you from Philadelphia?" Mom asked.

"Um…kinda. My mom and dad move around a lot. Philly is where I spent the most time. We moved there when I was twelve and when I was sixteen we moved to Phoenix."

"The most time you have ever lived anywhere is four years? Is your father in the Armed Forces?" I asked her a bit shocked.

"No, my mom is just a flake and constantly wants new experiences. She hates when things get too comfortable she says she needs excitement. I am glad to finally be on my own, I just want to feel at home somewhere."

"It must have been hard to grow up like that," Emmett said with a mouthful of turkey.

"I learned a lot, met diverse people, and cultures. It has its pro's and con's. I am just ready to stay put for a while. I plan to follow Jasper and Alice around so I always have a good place to go eat."

"Bells, I will cook for you whenever you want, you know that. I make a mean grilled cheese," Jasper winked at Bella.

"How is the restaurant Jasper?" dad asked.

"It's good sir. I hope you make it out for New Years. We're having a big party at the restaurant. Edward, are you still going to try and make it out?"

"Yeah, I was planning on it."

"You didn't tell me you were planning a trip out to Philly, why wasn't I invited?" Emmett grinned.

"We just planned it last week, Emmett. Edward happened to call Alice just after I told her. Calm down. I am inviting everyone now." Jasper rolled his eyes. It's no secret that both Emmett and Rose are a bit high strung.

I felt Bella's leg lean up against mine and I glanced at her giving her my crooked smile. She bit her lip as I moved my hand to her thigh and moved my hand up and down it gently squeezing every so often.

"What are you going to do with Emma while you're there?" Rosalie asked like I had forgotten that I was a father.

"I don't know Rose, bring her." I responded to her with a bit of an attitude. There was only so much of Rosalie's bitchiness I could handle. I didn't know how Emmett put up with it.

"Rose, you know Alice will help," mom said. Everyone knew Rosalie wouldn't dare argue with mom. No one would. We all had too much respect for her.

"So Emmett, when are you getting back on the road," dad asked, clearly changing the subject.

"As soon as we hit Seattle, I am going to drop Rose off at the house, give her a kiss on the doorstep and head back to the airport. We have a game at home on Tuesday." Emmett plays hockey for the Vancouver Canucks.

"Daddy, I'm done." Emma spoke up. I looked at her plate and saw that she didn't eat any of her vegetables. "Eat a few more bites, baby, or you won't be able to have any pie." I told her shoveling some of the vegetables in a pile closer to her on her plate.

"You don't have to eat those veggies Em. Uncle Emmett will make sure you get your pie," Emmett winked at my daughter. He was such a pushover.

"Thanks, I didn't know Emma had two parents," I expressed my displeasure for his blatant disregard for what I just told Emma.

Dad cleared his throat signaling for us to behave.

"I don't have a mommy. I just have daddy." Emma announced. "Daddy hasn't had time to get a mommy for me."

"What did daddy tell you? We have Aunt Rose, and Aunt Allie, and grandma," I told her smoothing her hair out.

"Now we have Belwa!" Emma exclaimed. I looked over at Bella, and she smiled at Emma.

"For this weekend, yes baby we have Bella."

"Speaking of this weekend Alice, do you have plans to go shopping tomorrow?" Rose asked.

"Of course! I plan on leaving really early, so whoever wants to come must be ready to go by six."

"Six? In the morning?" Bella asked stunned. "I'm sorry I don't like to shop THAT much. You don't mind if I skip this shopping trip do you Alice?" Bella asked. It was probably a good thing because I planned to keep her up late.

"I don't mind. I know shopping isn't your favorite thing to do," Alice smiled at Bella.

"Edward, are you going to go? I can watch Emma if you'd like," mom offered.

"No, mom. You go. I know how much you like the sales." I told her. I knew if Alice was going, Rose was going, which meant Emmett and Jasper would be going. If mom went so would dad, and I would have Bella all to myself. I sat back smugly and squeezed Bella's knee as I thought about how great tomorrow was going to be.

**BPOV **

After dessert, we all sat around drinking expensive liqueurs. The mood was light and everyone was having a good time.

"Don't you feel like a pansy cooking all that fru-fru food?" Emmett teased Jasper about his schooling as a chef.

Jasper countered back "At least my creations satisfy the mind, body, and soul, while your chosen profession involves celebrating men who lose the most teeth and grunt one- syllable words."

It was all in good fun and it was very clear Jasper had been welcomed into the family with open arms. Even Rosalie praised Jasper's skills by asking him if he would be her chef at an elite private function she was throwing.

As we all sat around joking, Edward stood up and told Emma to start her goodnight rounds. Emma threw out her bottom lip, crossed her arms, "No Daddy. I want to stay." Edward was so good with her, lovingly stroking her hair and whispering into her ear. Whatever he said worked because her face lit up and she did a lightening round of hugging and kissing everyone goodnight. When it was my turn, she treated me just as she had everyone else, with a big hug around the neck, a kiss on the cheek, and a goodnight "Belwa." I didn't dare look at Rosalie during this encounter, instead basking in the innocent hug.

By the time Edward came back, we had cleared the table and were trying to help clean up the kitchen. Esme and Carlisle shooed us out so they could clean it up, laughing and giggling like a couple of teenagers. Emmett and Alice rolled their eyes and stuck their fingers in their throat when Carlisle swatted Esme's behind. Per Alice, "there are things you don't want to know about your parents!" While I agree I sure don't want know more about Charlie and Renee's relationship than I do, I certainly thought it was adorable the way Carlisle and Esme were acting. It was as if they had just fallen in love.

Leaving the romantic scene in the kitchen, Emmett pulled out his poker set. "Edward, you ready for a good ass-whipping? I wish you'd hurry up and become a real doctor so I can take your money knowing you're making plenty to support my favorite niece." Edward rolled his eyes and responded to Emmett with a very mature flip of the finger. Alice snickered and I smiled too. Obviously, there was some brotherly competition in this family.

I wasn't a shabby poker player, but I really wasn't in the mood to sit around anymore. Edward and I had been sneaking glances at each other all evening, and I was squirming in my seat by then thinking about being with him. I really wanted to get upstairs and get ready for him. I decided I would throw my hands so that I would lose, figuring I could excuse myself for the evening once I was no longer in the game.

Alice raised her eyebrows at me a few times; she knows I'm a decent poker player. I told her "I'm no match for the brothers here!" Emmett responded with a wink and a smile. Once I was out of chips, I yawned and stretched, noticing that Edward was watching how my shirt stretched across my chest.

**EPOV **

With Bella losing all her money, I began to purposefully lose mine. If she was done, so was I, because I wanted her, naked, in the bed upstairs. Normally I am very competitive, playing into Emmett's goading, but not tonight. Tonight I had but one purpose and that was to take Bella again. Sitting next to from her for hours this evening, watching her interact with my family while candlelight danced across her face, only made me want her more.

"Edward, you sure aren't playing like your usual self, what's going on," Alice asked me. I told her I hadn't been very lucky lately but that was a lie. I was about to be _**VERY**_ lucky…with Bella.

When I had a few more hands left to lose, Bella excused herself. Before she left, she gave me a quick look out of the corner of her eye. I'm pretty sure that was to tell me the invitation was still open.

**BPOV **

Edward was losing his hands in order to get rid of his chips! I hope it wasn't as obvious to everybody else. Surely, they were wondering why he was suddenly losing every hand. Hopefully nobody at the table could read the dirty thoughts I was thinking about Edward. Those two pieces of information combined would let everyone know what was going to be happening in the guest room upstairs.

When it was apparent Edward didn't have much left to lose, I excused myself, citing being tired from a packed day and wonderful turkey dinner. I gave Edward a look out of the corner of my eye. I hope he understood I was just feigning the fatigue, and that I expected his knock on my door later.

I practically ran up the stairs in my haste to prepare for his visit. What was I going to wear? The corset, stockings, and heels? One of the flimsy nighties, maybe the see-through red one with the matching crotchless thong? Or should I be innocent in one of the bra and panty sets?

By the time I reached my room I decided to go with the corset and stockings. The sexual tension had been strong between Edward and me and I had a feeling tonight might be a little rough. The stockings and heels definitely screamed 'naughty girl' and that is exactly what a felt like…a very lustful, naughty girl.

**EPOV **

What felt like a lifetime later, I was finally out of chips and officially out of the poker game. We have a tradition, however, that the first one out of the game had to guzzle a glass with a pour from each type of drink on the table. Since Bella was our guest, we didn't make her drink this nasty concoction, so technically I was the first one out. I held my nose and hastily gulped the nasty combination and went upstairs to await the real prize for finishing the game, Bella.

I quietly knocked on her door. A few seconds later, the door opened a crack. I hesitated and then slowly pushed the door wider and what did I see but Bella perched on the end of the four poster bed with her legs crossed in a deep purple corset, black stockings, and black heels. My dick immediately got hard and I licked my lips.

She motioned me to come over with one small finger, I shut the door and obeyed. I had planned on making up for Rose's behavior with gentle kisses but it was clear she was in charge, and I did not mind doing her biding at all.

**BPOV **

When Edward reached me, he slowly traced a circle around the knee that was crossed and ran his hand up my thigh to the top of the stocking. He dipped one finger in, stroked around the outside of my thigh, and then took his hand and grabbed my ass. I looked at him through lustful lashes and uncrossed my legs, spreading them for him. He took the cue, positioning himself so his hardness was right up against my wetness. He took his other hand and grabbed the other cheek so both hands were grabbing my ass. He said, "you are delightfully surprising," then his lips and tongue plunged into mine releasing all the sexual tension that had built over the day.

As we kissed roughly, I unbuttoned his shirt and ran my hands over his hard chest, giving one of his nipples a tweak every time my hand moved over it. I could tell he liked this by the sharp intake of breath and increased fervor of his kisses. He returned the favor by cupping one of my breasts and giving it a hard squeeze while massaging the nipple roughly. I moaned and grabbed his hair pulling him closer to me.

Suddenly Edward stepped back and I felt cold air rush in between us. He dropped to his knees, and spread my legs even further open. I held onto one of the posts of the bed and complied, allowing him complete access to me.

He started with my foot, kissing and tracing the top of it, then moving up my ankle, calf, then thigh. When he got to the top of the stocking, he looked up at me, gave me a half smile, and proceeding to plunge his tongue into me with no warning. I thought it would be soft, like his kisses on my leg, but when his warm tongue went straight for my wetness, I nearly fell backwards onto the bed. Edward grabbed my thighs to stop me from toppling and hung them over his shoulders, working his tongue deeper inside me. I arched my back and moaned in pure pleasure.

Edward skillfully replaced his tongue with two fingers curving up inside me. This brought new waves of pleasure, and I grabbed his hair in an attempt to make him do it harder and faster. His tongue expertly moved against my clit as his fingers curled inside me. I had never experienced anything like this before and I had to try to keep quiet, remembering where we were. I gasped, "Edward, please, don't stop, your fingers are amazing," and that must have urged him as his tempo increased.

Just as I was about to topple over the edge, Edward pulled his fingers and tongue away from me, pulling me down off the bed. I had to grab his arms to steady myself in the heels I was wearing. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "you are going to get fucked good tonight Bella," and spun me around so I was facing the bed. I heard a zipper and clothing falling quietly to the floor and then a hand came around to the front of my corset, pulling one breast out and then the other so they hung over the top of the corset, raised and full. He roughly pulled at one of my nipples while his knee came between my legs and forced them to spread.

Edward gently but forcefully pushed me down over the railing of the bed and with one deep thrust entered me from behind. I gasped and arched my butt higher so he could enter me deeper. He gave a few deeper thrusts and when he was sure he was far enough in, he pulled me up so he could grab my tits in both of his hands. As he pulled at my nipples, he kept fucking me hard and deep. The railing held me in place and assured us both the highest of pleasure. You could hear nothing but our quiet moans and his hips slamming into my ass.

When it was obvious that he was close to cumming, he pulled out quickly, bent and stuck his tongue back into my wetness. I leaned so far forward on the bed that my feet came off the floor. He bit my clit, sending shocks of pain and pleasure down to my toes. I couldn't take any more, so I scooted out of his reach, looked back and said, "It's your turn."

He came around to the side of the bed and I crawled towards him on my stomach and took his hard cock in my hand. I blew down the length of it and licked the tip. It twitched in my hand and while looking up at Edward, I took the length of him in my mouth.

He grabbed my hair and starting grinding into my face. I pulled on his balls with one hand and used the other to compliment my mouth on his huge dick. "Bella, fuck, you are amazing," he moaned as I twirled my tongue around his cock and I delighted in the pleasure of controlling him this way.

He moved out of my mouth and asked, "what position do you want next?" with his smirky grin.

I put my fingers up to my pursed lips as if I was thinking and then I turned and grabbed one of the posts. I spread my legs and said, "I love the feel of you behind me."

He slowly removed my heels and then eagerly hopped onto the bed to give me what I wanted but not before kissing me gently and flicking his tongue over my lips. This only made my need to have him inside me even stronger. I reached behind me and grabbed his neck, intensifying the kiss while he slowly positioned himself inside me. The slow movement sent chills through my body and hardened my nipples. His kiss slowed and deepened as he very slowly moved inside me. I grunted in response, not daring to move my lips from his.

He took my arm from his neck, put it on the post with my other hand, and then unclipped the corset from the thigh-highs and then from my back – all while remaining still inside me. His movements were very soft and gentle. My arms and feet tingled as his fingers brushed my back. Once he had removed the corset and let it fall to the floor, his warm lips planted kisses along my spine. I clenched my insides against his manhood and he shuddered against me.

One of his hands was wrapped around my stomach and the other moved around and traced slow circles with my clit. As I held on to the post with one hand and looped the other around his neck, heat moved from the core of my body outward through my limbs. I looked back and he began to kiss me slow and deep again while starting to move inside me. It felt like we were doing this slow tango for hours and the pleasure – and heat – just kept building and building.

I was on the verge of toppling over the edge when he stopped kissing me and leaned his face into my neck whispering my name. The heat of his words against my neck caused me to orgasm, clenching his neck as my body spasmed. At the same time, his arms grasped me tight and he gave one last gentle thrust into me and shook with the force of his own orgasm.

Once we were both spent, neither of us moved. We stayed locked together. I have never experienced such closeness with someone. It was never like this with Jake.

**EPOV **

Bella and I were joined together on the bed after the most amazing sexual experience I had ever had. I didn't dare release her warm, sweaty body that was pressed against mine. I felt as if we were one, and I couldn't imagine the coldness that awaited me once I pulled away from her. This night couldn't end. Not yet.

Once we recovered, I moved off the bed, took Bella's hand and led her to the bathroom. Neither of us spoke as I turned on the water in the shower. I removed her thigh-highs and pulled her into the shower with me. I felt so protective of her right now. I slowly washed her entire body, cleaning the sweatiness of our lovemaking. Wait, did I just say lovemaking? That's really what it felt like though. It was so much more than just sex tonight. We connected on a level I never imagined existed.

Maybe it was because I was really able to watch her over dinner with my family. I learned so much about her, and as I thought about the entire day while gently washing her hair, I had to admit that I wanted to know more. I quickly removed those thoughts from my mind since she lives three thousand miles away and has a life as a college student. I didn't want to spoil the time I did have with her with such thoughts, so I kissed her while the water ran over our bodies. I intended to enjoy every moment of my holiday with this wonderful creature.

**BPOV **

After the shower, I dressed in one of my new nighties and Edward slipped on his boxers. I didn't know if he was going to stay or go, but I was silently hoping he would stay. I moved to turn down the comforter and to hop in bed as he put a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I turned and looked at him with questioning eyes and he bent to kiss me gently on the lips.

Then he reached around, pulled the comforter down, picked me up and placed me in the bed, snuggling in behind me. I secretly smiled to myself and felt the butterflies jumping in my stomach when he whispered "Goodnight Bella" into my ear. As he held me tight and my foggy thoughts turned into dreams, a feeling of peace and contentment washed over me. For the first time, I was falling asleep in the arms of someone – the safe arms of Edward.

**This is Robinated first ever post on so leave her some love with a review and welcome her!! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to our WONDERFUL Beta's Keepingupwiththekids and Dolphin****2598, it means the world to me that you put up with all my random comma's! Important AN at the bottom about The Fandom Gives Back.**

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**Chapter 3**

**EPOV**

When the bright sun shined in the room, I opened my eyes slowly and looked at the time on the alarm clock. It read seven thirty-eight, and I was surprised Emma hadn't woken yet.

I trailed kisses down Bella's shoulder, as she moaned and turned around so she was facing me. I pushed her hair off her face and smiled. I felt her hand trail lightly down my jaw line before she snuggled her head into my neck.

"Good morning." I whispered to her, smelling the sweet peach scent of her.

"It is a good morning, isn't it?" She smiled back at me.

"I'm pretty sure it's just you and me today." I told her as my fingers skimmed the side of her breast.

"And Emma," she added.

"Speaking of Emma, I can't believe she is still asleep. She is use to waking up at like six. She must be exhausted," I said stretching my arms above my head.

"We should go make a nice big breakfast. I'm sure she is going to be hungry." Bella suggested. Just then, I heard Bella's stomach growl and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"I think someone else is hungry. Come on let's go make some food. I wouldn't want my two favorite ladies to be hungry." I said as I climbed out of bed. I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt and watch Bella slip on a pair of black yoga pants, and a tight t-shirt, so simple, yet so beautiful.

I peeked in my room to see Emma sleeping soundly. She was holding on tightly to her favorite baby doll. As I stood there, I felt Bella's arms reach around my waist from behind and felt her soft kisses on my back. She peeked around me at Emma and said, "She is really a great little girl Edward. You are doing a wonderful job with her."

I pulled her around to my side and tilted her chin up to kiss her lips, "Thanks," I told her. I pulled the door so it was open just a crack and led Bella down the stairs.

I knew my feelings for Bella were strong. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye to her. It wasn't realistic to think I could just forget this weekend ever happened, I also didn't feel like I had a choice.

We reached the kitchen and she began cracking eggs as I whipped up some pancake batter.

"So, you and Alice leave tomorrow?" I asked, dreading that I only had today left with her.

"Yeah, but you're coming to Philly for New Year's, right?"

"That is the plan. Do you think we will have some time to ourselves then?" I asked coming close to her. I had her pinned against the kitchen counter as I kissed down her neck. I pressed against her letting her feel my hardness, and her breathing increased.

"I've always had this fantasy of having sex in a public place….and Jasper's restaurant has an amazing element to it…The doors to the bathroom…." Bella's breathe hitched as I squeezed her nipple.

"Go on…tell me"

"They're see through."

"See through? Sounds like Jasper is working in a kinky place."

"Well they fog up once the door closes," Bella breathed out heavily.

"Sounds interesting," I told her, as I pressed into her harder. I heard the pitter-patter of feet running toward the kitchen and I backed away from Bella immediately.

"Daddy! Daddy!" I heard Emma calling.

"Daddy is in the kitchen Em," I yelled as she ran in, her little nightgown dancing around her ankles. She jumped into my arms. "Good morning sleepy head. Did you have a good night?" I asked kissing her nose.

She nodded into my chest. "Emma hungwe." She told me, putting her thumb in her mouth.

"Daddy and Bella are making breakfast, it's almost ready," I told her placing her down on the stool at the kitchen island.

"Here Emma," Bella offered her a small bowl of fruit she had sliced up. "Do you like ketchup on your eggs?" Bella asked her.

"Ah huh." Emma nodded enthusiastically at Bella.

"What do you say to Bella, baby?"

"Fank you Belwa."

"No problem." Bella smiled back at her.

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe Edward called me one of his favorite girls. I mean was he serious or just saying that because that is what guys say after they have sex with girls? Jake would say shit like that to me. Say that he cared about me, but he never followed through. I certainly never woke up feeling safe in his arms.　

I cleaned up breakfast as Edward took Emma upstairs to get dressed and I began to wonder what I was doing with my life back in Philly. I loved the city. I loved Penn. I thought I was having fun with Jake, but really, I am hurting myself with him.

I was missing out on something great. Something I couldn't take back with me to school. Something that I had a feeling would make me happy. That something, was Edward.

I couldn't believe Jake had sent me a text message earlier, telling me he missed me and he wished I would had stayed in Philly so we could have been together this weekend. I texted him back and said that maybe if I had somewhere to spend Thanksgiving Day I would have stayed. It's obvious he would never have me over for any holidays.

I heard Edward click on the TV and iCarly come on the TV. I smiled as I listened to him sing the song with Emma. I finished wiping off the counter as Edward walked in and filled Emma's sippy cup with milk. He slapped my ass before he left. It felt incredibly natural to be going through the day with him and Emma.

He came back in as soon as he gave Emma her milk and jumped up on the counter pulling me close. His hands quickly found my ass and he just rested his hands there.

"Alice called and said they would be home around three. I was going to run and get some beer. Do you think you could watch Emma?" he asked. Edward began to move his hands over my lower back and bottom.

"Of course!"

"What kind of beer do you like?"

"I don't drink beer…I prefer to drink Brotherly Love's"

"That would include….?"

"Cream soda and root beer flavored vodka." He took my bottom lip between his teeth and bit it gently giving my ass a gentle squeeze.

"Whatever you want, Peaches," Edward whispered against my lips.

"Peaches?" I raised an eyebrow and laughed.

"That's what you smell like, what you _taste_ like, peaches," he whispered seductively against my lips. He began to kiss me deeply as his hands squeezed my ass harder, pulling me tightly against his body.

"I want you all the time…" he told me as his lips moved down my neck. "I had better go before this gets out of hand. I want to make sure you're nice and liquored up for me later." He kissed me gently once more before he jumped off the counter. He grabbed his keys and threw on his jacket.

I walked with him to the living room. "Emma, daddy is going to run to the store real quick, but Bella will stay with you while I am gone, okay?" Emma nodded as she ran to Edward to kiss him bye. "You be a good girl." He told her as he stood up to leave.

"The liquor store is about ten minutes away, I shouldn't be long. Here is my cell number just in case."

I looked over the business card with all his contact info. "We will be fine," I assured him. I walked outside and crossed my arms as the cold air hit me. He noticed me shivering and rubbed my arms.

"Get back inside! I don't want to take care of sick people on one of my few weekends off if I can help it." He kissed me sweetly before I walked quickly back inside and climbed on the couch with Emma wrapping us in a blanket.

"On iCarly, Freddy said, 'tough knubs'," Emma giggled to me. As soon as she was done giggling, she put her thumb in her mouth and snuggled into me. I laughed back at her and pulled her on my lap. I stroked her hair lovingly as I watched her twirl one of her curls with her fingers.

We sat there together watching iCarly and I actually found it funny. I was enjoying Spencer and Sam.

"Emma, want more nilk." She said handing me her empty cup.

"Well then we better go get you some more nilk." I stood up with her and carried her into the kitchen. I sat her down on the kitchen island and walked over to the fridge to pour her some more milk. I heard the front door open and Edward announced he was back.

"In the kitchen!" I called to him as he walked in dropping the bags on the floor, then rushing to Emma.

"Bella you can't just leave her sitting on a counter like that! What if she tried to get down? She doesn't understand how far from the ground she is! She could have gotten hurt." I watched Edward pull his daughter off the counter and straighten out her shirt.

"I'm sorry….I didn't mean…I guess I just didn't think." I said attempting to apologize. Edward sighed loudly and ran his fingers through his hair.

"No harm, no foul. Just be more aware of things like that with her." I nodded and handed him her sippy cup.

"I want my baby." Emma told Edward. I took the bags off the floor and started to put the beer and soda in the packed fridge.

"It's upstairs in your bed, go up and get it baby," he smiled at her. I watched Emma run towards the steps and looked at Edward to offer my apology to him again.

"Really, I am so sorry…" Edward moved closer to me, moved an errant hair away from my face and kissed my forehead.

"It's fine, let's just move on." He told me as he handed me a few more beers to load in the fridge.

Move on? That just reminded me that after tomorrow there was not much left for us to move forward with in our relationship. It was more like moving on from each other. Edward must not have been harping at me because he knew I wouldn't be alone with Emma again. After Saturday we would return to our lives. I would go back to Penn, to Jake. He would go back to his residency and his routine with Emma, and chances were I wouldn't see or talk to him again until New Years.

**EPOV**

After I yelled at Bella in the kitchen, she scooped up Emma and the two of them cuddled on the couch talking to Emma's baby while trying to decide if they should watch Cinderella or The Princess Diaries. I watched them from the doorway and it really warmed my heart to see Emma so comfortable in the attention of a female who was not related to me.

I couldn't help but fantasize about what it would be like to have Bella in our lives, our house. Having her greet me at the door after a long night at the hospital with a kiss and Emma in her arms. Her tucking Emma into bed, the two of them giggling hushed secrets I was not meant to hear. Her tucking me in, the two of us whispering and touching each other in what used to be my lonely bed. She fit perfectly into the crevices that desperately needed filling around me and Emma.

Unfortunately, the _she_ that we needed, the _she_ that I craved, lived so far away from us that it might as well be the moon. The perfect image burst in my head like a water balloon crashing on the cement. I knew how often we saw Alice, my own flesh and blood. There was no hope for Bella to be a part of our daily lives. Not now. Not ever, and that realization hit me so deep in the pit of my stomach I almost couldn't breathe.

**BPOV**

I looked up and saw Edward watching me and Emma from the doorway. He had a faraway look in his eyes and the most endearing, warm inviting smile on his lips. His whole face seemed at peace, his body content. As I was sitting there with Emma in my arms, Edward watching us, made me feel…complete. I instinctively bent my head to kiss Emma's forehead and basked in the dazzling warmth of the moment. This feeling of belonging was so foreign to me. I could feel it filling every pore in my body, covering the holes of loneliness and regret and settling into new pockets of comfort and home.

As if he was reading my mind, Edward came to us.

"Princess, it sounds like your baby wants to watch The Princess Diaries, is that right?"

"Yes Daddy. Baby finks I can be a princess someday!"

"You are Daddy's princess, today and always," Edward said kissing the top of her head, and ruffling her hair.

Edward popped in the DVD and settled into the couch beside me. Since I was holding his princess Emma, he turned me slightly so I was leaning against him. He snuck one arm around me and his hand rested on my hip between Emma and me. I tucked the blanket Emma and I were under around him and he caught my hand and twined our fingers together. We three were wrapped together like a caterpillar in a cocoon – warm and safe. Home.

**EPOV**

Emma had taken a nap during the movie but neither Bella nor I had moved from the safe haven of the couch. Instead, Bella rested her head in the crook of my neck and I allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of having a woman I could love in my arms. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her holding my beautiful daughter.

Before I knew it everyone was home with what seemed like hundreds of bags. Emma and Bella joined the girls in a fashion show and Jasper took over the kitchen. He made cran-turkey enchiladas from the leftover food and it was actually really good. Emma loved it, and I was thankful I didn't have to prepare her something special.

"Thank you Jasper, that was very good. I had no idea that those ingredients could go together so well," my mom praised Jasper as she cleared some dishes.

"It was my pleasure!" Jasper was always so polite. I made my way into the kitchen and made Bella the nasty sounding drink she had told me about earlier and grabbed a bottle of Heineken for myself. I walked out to the living room and handed her the Brotherly Love.

"I didn't ask for this."

"I know. I was just being thoughtful," I told her with a wink.

She took a small sip, "Perfect, you sure you never made one of these before?"

"No, but I have made plenty of drinks. I use to bartend to make ends meet."

Everyone sat around drinking, and at eight o'clock, I took Emma up to bed. She gave everyone a big hug and goodnight kisses. It seemed so natural for her to include Bella with the rest of the family.

Mom and dad didn't stay up too much longer either. We didn't want to know why they went upstairs so early. Alice, Emmett and I rolled our eyes and covered our ears while Jasper sang bow-chica-bow-bow.

Alice suggested we play a drinking game called I Never. We each would take a turn saying a statement and if you had done whatever was said, you took a drink. It seemed innocent enough. I agreed to play on one condition.

"Alice, there are some things that a brother doesn't need to know about his sister, okay? Jasper, that goes for you telling me too!"

"Oh Edward, I know far too much about your, ahem, sex life, I might just return the favor tonight," Alice giggled at me.

"Since it's your idea Ally, you start." Jasper stated as he pulled her onto his lap.

I looked at Bella who was sitting next to me and wanted nothing more than to hold her close to me like that.

"Okay…Um…I never kissed a girl." I took my beer and took a sip, expecting Jasper and Emmett to drink with me. I was surprised when Bella took a drink. I raised my eyebrows at her and she just shrugged.

Rosalie was next. "I never had a secret fling." I took a quick sip of my beer and noticed Bella do the same thing.

"Oh, Bella I wouldn't call Jake a fling! You have been seeing him for months, you're just keeping him all to yourself," Alice said in an exasperated voice. I looked at Bella confused. She never mentioned that she was seeing anyone. Then again, I never asked.

"Jake means nothing to me. That's why you never met him, all he is…or um… was or whatever is just a fling."

Alice raised her eyebrows and gave Bella a questioning look. Bella shot back a nasty glare.

Emmett went next. "I never went longer than one week without getting laid." I shot him a death glare and took another swig of my beer, because that was obviously directed toward me. Interestingly Bella also drank. I think I'll find out how hardcore it is between her and this loser Jake, because it's my turn.

"I never cheated on anyone." I looked at Bella to see if she would drink, and she didn't. I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Your turn Bells!" Alice told Bella, who looked like she was mad at me.

"I never made assumptions about someone I didn't know anything about." Bella glared at me. I could tell she was upset. No one drank, and I knew I needed to apologize to her, so I chugged the rest of my beer and walked to the kitchen to get another one.

"Am I missing something?" I heard Rosalie ask sipping her martini.

"I'm lost." Emmett shrugged.

I entered the living room cautiously. "Looks like it's your turn Jasper," I said sitting back down next to Bella.

"I've never flashed anyone." I looked at Alice and Bella as they both chugged down more liquor and very quietly, so did Rose.

"WAIT! Alice you're a titty flasher?! Jasper I thought you were taking care of her out there!" Emmett exclaimed. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, Emmett you were not there when the Phillies won the World Series! It would have been wrong for Bella and me _**NOT**_ to flash our tits all up and down South Street."

"Yeah, come on Emmett, she is only in college once." I defended my sister's crazy behavior.

"Plus, Bella started it," Alice joked.

"Oh, no you don't! Don't you go blaming that one on me! You are the one that wanted the Phillies beads and I got them for you that is all! It's not my fault no one ever told you how to get beads from boys here in this small town of Forks!"

Jasper laughed, "Yeah, Alice and Bella have like fifty necklaces from that night in the apartment. It was fun." Jasper shrugged. "And Emmett, I noticed that beautiful wife of yours taking a sip of her drink. Care to share that one?"

"Ah hell guys, she is married to a hockey player. What happens on the road, stays on the road." Emmett winked at Rose.

Bella started to get up, and I asked her if she needed anything. "I am just going to get another drink."

"You're a guest, let me," I offered. Bella followed me into the kitchen and I immediately turned so that she almost ran into me.

"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's okay." She took her glass from me.

"We should probably talk about it. I know it is a bit late for me to say this, but I don't really like having sex with multiple people." Thank god I had those condoms. Pregnancy was not my only concern. I should have asked you before I slept with you, I mean I don't really have any right to feel jealous…it's not like your mine."

"I'm not his either," she said looking up at me. "I am nobody's." She looked into her glass and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to make her mine, even if I could only claim her for this short time.

"Let's just enjoy the tonight and forget the lives we have to go back to tomorrow. Right now all I want is you." I grabbed her hips tightly and pulled her to me. I kissed her hard pushing my tongue roughly into her mouth.

"Let's go to bed," I whispered, desperate to feel her close to me.

We didn't even think to say goodnight to everyone else. We just walked silently upstairs and devoured each other as soon as the door to her room was shut. Bella pulled her clothes off in a frenzy. As soon as she stood naked in front of me, she dropped to her knees and undid my jeans releasing me from the confines of denim and taking me into her gorgeous mouth.

"Fuuuccck Bella, that feels so incredible." I placed my hand in hair as her head moved up and down my length. "I love your lips around my dick," I breathed as I pushed her head further down my length. I felt her hands reach for my balls and she squeezed them gently.

I reached down and pulled her from the floor desperate to taste her. Sitting her on the bed, I got on my knees, spread her legs, and pulled her closer to my face.

I began to lick and suck. "mmm see…tastes like peaches…" I moaned slipping two fingers inside of her. I bit down on her clit and her legs locked around my head in a vise I never wanted to be free from her grasp. I watched her hands grab at the comforter squeezing it tightly.

I moved a third finger inside her as I flicked her clit with my tongue. Keeping my fingers in her warm center, I moved my tongue and mouth up her body trailing her stomach, the sweet spot between her breasts, the hollow of her neck, until I reached the object of my desire - her mouth.

"Tonight, you are someone's, you are mine," I softly spoke against her lips before I kissed her roughly.

**BPOV**

God, I wanted nothing more than to be Edward's. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever. No one had ever made me feel the way he did - connected, content, home.

"I'm yours Edward," I moaned as he entered me. He became more gentle and loving. He stared into my eyes with his eyes of bottomless hope and dreams; I couldn't handle the sweetness, the love that he was showing me. I couldn't help but think that come tomorrow I wouldn't have him like this anymore. I couldn't handle him making love to me, and then leaving me. I needed him to fuck me.

"Faster, harder," I panted urging him keep moving inside me. Edward complied and got rougher with me again, increasing his tempo and roughly pinching my nipples.

"You like that?" He asked me roughly.

I squeezed my eyes shut so I didn't see the future we would never have staring at me, and nodded my head. This was supposed to be fun sex, a fling, and the feelings I felt were more than that.

There was no denying we had sexual chemistry, and I couldn't help but wrap my legs around him as he continued to move inside me. He grabbed my hands and put them above me, holding them into place as he pounded into me. Now I could see desire and lust in his eyes as the smell of our sweat began to fill the room. He pulled almost all the way out before pushing into me harder and together we came undone. He collapsed on top of me with ragged breathe and I pushed him from me, pulling on my robe.

"You should probably go to your room tonight." I wanted nothing more than for him to stay, but I felt like I would be torturing myself. To have him hold me seemed like a cruel tease - toying with something I couldn't have.

"Really? You don't want me to stay?" Confusion and hurt flashed across his face.

"We shouldn't fool ourselves. This is what it is…a fling. I don't want to get too many of my emotions involved."

"Right, just a fling," he said nodding as he pulled his pants on and left my room. I picked up his shirt, and brought it to my nose to smell him. I turned to the door so I could give him back his shirt when I heard him speaking to his dad out in the hall. I listened closely once I heard my name leave his father's lips.

**EPOV**

I walked out of Bella's room a bit annoyed. I was ready to tell her that I wanted to try to make things work between us. That I wanted to get to know her better, see what happened between us. Then she tells me it's just a fling.

I wanted to tell her to forget about this stupid college boy Jake she was seeing. Then I remembered she is a college girl. A nineteen-year old girl. That is why she is with Jake, she lets him see her casually because that is probably what she wants, freedom. Not an instant family.

I just need to realize that I am not in a fairy tale and as much as I want Bella to be my happily ever after, chances are she wasn't going to be. Why did I feel so connected to her? So alive with her? Why couldn't I have her?

"Edward?" I heard my name being spoken from behind me; I turned to see my dad.

__

_**FUCK!**_

"Did I just see you leave the guest room?"

"Yeah, I guess you did." I looked down sheepishly, knowing I had been caught.

"What were you doing with Bella?" He asked me crossing his arms.

"Would you believe we were playing scrabble?" It was pointless to lie. I was standing in the hallway wearing just my pants, that I hadn't even bothered buttoning. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed loudly. I felt like I was in high school again. I might as well be with the way I have acted with Bella this weekend.

"Edward, what are you thinking? She is your sister's friend. She is young; you shouldn't be taking advantage of her."

"Who said I was?" I shot back at him. "Bella understands how it is, trust me; I am not going to break her heart, if that is what you are worried about. It's just a _fling_." I spat that word at him as I opened my bedroom door and got ready for bed.

I was the one with the breaking heart.

**BPOV**

What the hell am I doing? The sound of Edward's voice as he told Carlisle it was a fling gave me hope that maybe, just maybe it wasn't a fling. That we could figure out a future. I have never felt more at home than I did today with Edward. Why was I pushing him away?

I sat down on the edge of my bed and took out my cell phone, dialing the number I knew by heart.

"Hey sexy! I was just thinking of you," Jake spoke into the phone.

"Really?" I asked stunned, "you were thinking about me?"

"Yeah, I miss you. I stopped by Sofitel today, and it felt so empty without you." Of course, it was all about the sex. He missed the sex I gave him, not me.

"Do you care about me outside of sex? I mean, is that all I am too you?"

"Bella, we talked about this….now isn't a good time…" Jake trailed off. I wasn't about to listen to the same shit over and over again from him. The same speech he gave every time I hinted at the possibility of a commitment from him. The "It's just not the right time," speech.

"Yeah, Jake, I know. Listen I gotta go. I'm not really sure what I was thinking calling you."

"Will you meet me at The Sofitel Monday night?" He asked me hopeful.

"I'll call you later. Goodnight." I flipped my phone shut and tossed it on the bed. I slipped back into my comfy pants, Edward's t-shirt, and a sweater before I headed back downstairs with the others.

**EPOV**

"Dude where the hell did you disappear?" Emmett asked as I walked back in the living room.

"Emma…uh...she woke up. Had to do the whole, pretend to sleep with her thing," I lied to my family as I sat down.

"Did you see Bella?" Alice asked.

I shook my head no, as I took a big sip from my beer bottle. "What do I look like her babysitter?" I retorted a bit annoyed, mostly at my own lack of communication with her. I could have just told her it was more than a fling to me.

"What is your problem? One minute you're making goo-goo eyes at the girl, the next minute you are biting our heads off when we ask about her. Can't you just be normal? Possibly nice and polite? Why the hell are you all Jeyckle and Hyde?" Alice called me out and she didn't know how close to the truth she was.

"I don't know what you're talking about Alice, I was nothing but polite to her all day, remember you ditched _**YOUR**_ guest to go shopping," I yelled at her.

"Calm the fuck down you two!" Emmett said. I got up off the couch and grabbed my jacket. I walked onto the porch and watched the air fog as I exhaled. I lit a cigarette and began to inhale my first drag when Jasper walked out to join me.

"That shit will kill you, ya know." I nodded at him, as I blew out the smoke. I didn't smoke often but when I did, it felt good.

"Shit, Edward, you have a thing for Bella," Jasper stated like it was no secret. "Cause, the sexual tension between you too, damn we could cut it with a knife." I couldn't deny it. I wasn't a liar.

"Listen, so the first girl I am seriously attracted to happens to live across the country _**AND**_ she is a teenager still. Not to mention that she is Ally's best friend…and god, I fucking want her so bad." I told Jasper flicking the ash from my cigarette over the porch railing. "What's the deal with this Jake guy?" I asked Jasper.

"Honestly? I have no fricken clue. She mentions him, says she is meeting him. Doesn't say where, doesn't bring him around. I don't know a thing about him other than the fact that he won't start a relationship with her. She spent a few weeks upset over that awhile back, but since then she says it's all in fun. Just tell her what you want, dude. She is either going to tell you to fuck off or to fuck her."

"Well, we don't really have any problem in the fucking category. I have already done much more than fuck her…it went deeper than that." I took another drag. "But she says it is just a fling…"

"And you want more?"

"I want to get to know her…I want her to be in my life. Don't say shit to anyone. I don't want anyone to know until Bella and I know what is going on…"

Jasper nodded at me that he understood and we headed back inside the house.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw Bella sitting on the floor with her back against the couch. I smiled and messed her hair up a bit before I sunk on the floor next to her.

"I'm sorry…about…" she began to whisper. I shook my head signaling her to stop apologizing.

"We will talk later, okay?" I said quietly.

"Hey you two! No private conversations." Emmett teased.

"Shut it, Emmett or I will make your wife shut you up for me." Everyone laughed, because it was true, Rose was the only one able to kick his ass. Bella moved closer to me, and I was assaulted by her peachy scent. She moved her hair behind her ear and smiled at me.

Alice got up and put on some music. I touched Bella 'innocently' every chance I was able to. Soon her head was resting on my shoulder while my whole family sat around laughing and I never wanted her to leave my side. I was surprised Emmett didn't say something about it, but he wouldn't tease Bella, only me.

"Bella, if you're tired you should go up to bed! You don't have to sleep on my asshole brother." Alice said, obviously still upset I snapped at her.

"I'm fine Alice, asshole or not Edward is comfy..." Bella yawned.

"I'm not an asshole….all the time." I attempted to defend myself, but I had been a bit of one tonight.

"I think I am going to head to bed," Bella yawned. I stood up and extended my hands to her to help her up. "Thanks," she told me. I had to stop myself from kissing her goodnight. It was a bit awkward to say the least.

"Goodnight." Everyone said to Bella, as she made her way slowly up the steps.

I finished my beer, and told everyone I wanted to go up and check on Emma again.

"Sure you do, don't go trying to get into some teenager pants." Emmett thought he was joking with me.

"Ha ha, Emmett. Very fucking funny," I responded when in actuality I was feeling really anxious to talk to Bella.

**BPOV**

I slipped into my boy short underwear and kept on the t-shirt Edward had left in my room. I was rinsing my mouth when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. Grabbing the hand towel, I wiped my mouth with it as I opened the door to Edward. He really was so beautiful it hurt not to be close to him. Edward was depressingly beautiful.

He leaned against the doorframe. "Can we talk?"

I nodded and stepped aside granting him access. I climbed up in the bed and sat in the center Indian style.

"So…." I attempted to break the ice, as Edward paced in front of the bed. "Sit down, you're making me nervous."

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face me his eyes searching mine. He looked so confused, so torn.

"I don't know what you're feeling….if this is truly just a fling to you, but it's more than that to me. _You_ are more to me than that. I don't know what you are afraid of, but you can't deny there is something between us."

"You're right, Edward. I am terrified to be feeling the things I feel for you. I am so sick of my relationships being one sided. I just end up broken hearted," Edward began to walk over to me. He climbed in the bed pulling me against his chest and stroking my hair.

"Your feelings, they are certainly not one sided where I am concerned," he told me as I tilted my head up to look into his eyes.

"What is going to happen after tomorrow between us?"

"You can call me whenever you want," he kissed my lips softly. "Let's just take it a day at a time. We both have very different lives right now."

"Very different lives on opposite sides of the county." I brushed a tear from my eye quickly.

"We still have tonight here together, and then when we go back to our lives, I guess we can see where things go..."

"I don't know how it would work to be honest; can we just….I don't know….get to know each other better? Call each other? I can visit, we can text and email…I won't break your heart, Bella. I promise."

"One day at a time?" I asked.

He echoed my words, "One day at a time."

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	4. Chapter 4

**SM owns Twilight BUT Robinated owns an original Lina Zol oil painting of Edward shirtless! WOOT! **

**A/N from Robinated - **

**Thank you for your reviews and your tremendous patience! There was this little movie that came out and then Thanksgiving holiday that interrupted our star-crossed lovers in their treks back to their respective homes. Expect more frequent updates and as always, lemony goodness.**

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**Chapter 4 – Lonely Heart**

**BPOV**

"Bells, you can have the window seat."

"Thanks Jas," I mustered all the enthusiasm I could and tried to smile. Jasper had been incredibly kind to me all day. It's almost like he knew that leaving the Cullen house this morning ripped me apart.

I settled into my seat, Alice beside me.

"Bella, you look tired. You sure you feel okay?"

"I'm fine Alice. I just didn't sleep well last night. I think I'll snuggle up to the window and take a nap on the flight back to Philly."

"Okay sweetie. I'll get you a ginger ale when the flight attendant comes around"

"And I'll spike it with some Seagram's 7 I snuck through security," whispered Jasper.

Alice punched him in the arm, "J, you didn't! How?"

"I used some of those travel sized bottles for hair products. Guess security thought it was hairspray since each bottle was less than three ounces and fit in my quart sized baggie," Jasper beamed at us.

"Thanks guys," I tried to smile at them. I wrapped up one of my sweaters, put it in the window to use as a pillow and covered up with my hoodie. As I closed my eyes, this morning played through my mind.

_We set the alarm early so we would be awake before everyone else. I turned over and looked at Edward lying so peacefully beside me. I ran my fingers along his jaw, outlining his lips. His eyes opened and I swear he saw straight into my soul. The butterflies stirred in my stomach. _

_Neither of us spoke. Edward's hand had come up to trace my fingers that were still touching his lips. As he stared into my eyes, my body began to heat up, as if he was making love to me without touching me. _

"_You're still wearing my t-shirt," Edward growled at me with lust in his eyes. _

_Before I could take another breath, he pounced on me, his hands going under said t- shirt, his long body on top of mine. His breathing was staggered as his lips were drawn to mine as if they were magnets that refused to be forced apart. His tongue searched out mine with an urgency that mimicked the panic in my heart._

_My hands grabbed his bare back, my fingernails digging his warm skin. He moaned and ran one hand down my stomach, pulling down both my shorts and his boxers. His mouth never leaving mine, his body never letting air between us, he entered me sending shockwaves like pin pricks through my body. I grabbed him, pulling him closer, wanting him to disappear into me. He shuddered and lay still inside me. _

"_Bella, I, I…" he fumbled._

"_I know Edward, me too," I whispered back._

_His kisses intensified, as if he wanted to taste every bit of me. We both grabbed and pulled, devouring each other; our bodies melded together, our hearts in sync. Neither of us blinked, burning the image of one another in our minds. _

_I felt the orgasm roll through my body from my toes to the top of my head. Every piece of my being had just been given to Edward. _

"You may now use electronic devices," the voice on the speaker jolted me out of my reverie. I popped in my headphones and stole a quick glance at Jasper and Alice. Alice was showing him some buildings in one of her architectural magazines. Better him than me. I loved walking around with Alice looking at cool architectural elements, but sometimes she was over the top with her passion.

I closed my eyes planning to take a nap, but all I saw in the darkness behind my eyelids was Edward.

_Emma demanded that Alice and I watch an episode of iCarly with her before we left. The three of us dressed up with boas and crowns and had a tea party on the living room floor. We laughed and sang and had an absolutely fabulous girly time. My heart felt so full in the attention of this beautiful little girl. _

_I felt Edward's eyes on us every time he passed by the living room. Once he caught my attention and stared so longingly into my eyes. It felt right. Once again, I felt a sense of home._

_When it was time to go, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into the downstairs bathroom. He put both of his hands on my face. We heard Alice calling for me, so we knew we only had seconds. He softly brushed his lips across mine with the lightest of touch. "Isabella, you are extraordinary." _

_With that, he kissed each of my eyes and my lips once more and opened the door. My heart was beating so fast I was sure his family could see it pounding in my chest. _

"Bella, do you want your ginger ale?" Alice asked me quietly.

"Sure, but only if Jasper put a little secret sauce in it," I grinned back.

"Bells, I'm shocked you doubt me!" Jasper feigned a hurt face and passed the ginger ale.

I took a sip of the drink and started coughing. "Dang Japer! I said a little sauce. With a drink like this, we might as well play some cards, if you think you can take me on."

"Yay! I hope you play better than you did this weekend, Bella," Alice sang at me. "You kinda sucked."

I watched her pull the cards out of her purse and smiled at the memory of that night. Yeah, I sucked alright and it wasn't just at cards.

"Seven card stud, aces wild," Alice started laying down the cards on our little trays. "Bella, I can't believe how much Emma loves you! It was so sweet."

"She is such a doll. She is an amazing little girl and it seems like Edward is a great father."

"Speaking of my bipolar brother, what was with you guys last night?"

I took a quick sip of my drink before I answered, trying to be coy. "Edward, Emma, and I had a nice day together. I suppose we became friends."

Alice let out a chuckle and raised her eyebrows at me, "All my girlfriends in high school crushed on him. I totes get it if you swooned over him just a bit."

"You know it takes more than some good looks to turn my head - although your brother is quite hot," I shot back at her while fanning myself.

"Ha! Well, I am glad my family loves you."

"Uhm, I'm not sure I impressed Rosalie too much. She really is an ice queen unless Emma is in her aura."

"I'm sure you noticed that we just ignore her sourness after awhile. If we could chip away enough ice I think we might find a nice person inside; at least one with a warm beating heart."

This was just what I needed. The angst over Edward was already burning a hole in my chest. A good strong drink and my favorite card game with my best friends thirty thousand feet in the sky was sure to provide a little distraction.

EPOV

After Bella, Alice, and Jasper left, Emma was sad so Rose took her into town for a treat. Mom was "inspired" and went to her studio out back to put her inspiration on canvas. Dad needed some help chopping wood for the winter so he borrowed Emmett's muscles. It was just as well to me, I could use some time alone.

I took a long walk in the woods behind the house replaying the last three days in my head. How did my sister's roommate get so into my head? More disturbing, how did she get into my heart? It felt like this girl was the missing puzzle piece of my soul. Was it real? Had it just been too long since I had been interested in a girl that I was magnifying this to the nth degree?

"_Bella," I whispered as we lay in each other's arms this morning, "I can't explain how I feel about you. I just know that I must have more of you."_

"_Edward, I am going to be honest here, which is not my style, and admit that I feel the same. I am a realist though and I'm not sure how that is going to happen given the three thousand miles between us."_

_I sighed and kissed her bruised lips again. Pulling her to my chest, I stuck my nose in her hair and held her tight._

"_We'll find a way to be together, Bella. We know we are amazing in bed, but I want to know all about you. Everything there is to know about Isabella Swan."_

_I felt the panic rise up in her as she tensed in my arms. I suppose I said too much. But I do want to know everything about her. She is magical and enticing and has danced her way into my blood._

_I lifted her chin up and kissed her again, melting away the panic attack. Her arms slipped around my back and pulled me close to her. She didn't have to say anything more. I knew she felt the same._

My phone vibrating in my pocket took me away from the painfully pleasant playback of this morning.

"This is Edward."

"Hello, Edward. This is MacKenna."

"Hi Chief! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving."

"I was on call and the nurses put together a great feast for everyone. It was a typical hospital holiday. We didn't have many admissions, so that was a nice change of pace!"

"I suppose you aren't making a social call. How can I help you?"

"Is it possible for you to be back in the city tonight so you can take over Sam's 7:00 am call? He has come down with something nasty. I'm afraid he's oinking as H1N1 has really been getting around the city over the holiday."

"Of course! Let me talk to my brother and sister-in-law to see if they can bring Emma back with them tomorrow."

"If they can't you know there are plenty of us who will watch Emma for you. Just call me back if you need someone and I'll come over at 6:30 am so you don't have to even get her out of bed."

"Thank you MacKenna! I'll let you know."

It was only late morning. I wouldn't have to head back until evening if Emmett and Rose could bring Emma back tomorrow. I was about to head back into my deep thoughts of Bella when I heard a twig snap and turned to see my dad walking towards me. I saw the look on his face, and I knew what was coming. Undoubtedly a lecture on what he thought he saw last night when I came out of Bella's room with no shirt on and my jeans unbuttoned. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to say to him. My dad has always been my closest confidant, but I am scared to say what I think I feel out loud. How do I tell him that after three days I know, absolutely know, that Bella, Emma, and I belong together. That our souls are connected and meant to be together for eternity.

"Hi, son. I hope you don't mind me joining you for a bit."

"Not at all dad. We don't get to spend much time just the two of us anymore."

"No we don't. I might as well cut to the chase as I expect we won't be able to spend much time together right now either. You are normally very responsible and I would have never imagined you sleeping with your sister's roommate. Alice will be shattered when she finds out you used her roommate for a good time this weekend. How did you get tangled up in such a mess?"

Wow. He wasn't sparing anything on this one. I knew he didn't agree with things from his look and words in the hall, but I didn't know he'd go straight to the jugular when we spoke again. I suppose I have to be honest. I have to make him understand that it's not a mess, at least not in the way he thinks.

"Dad, I appreciate your concern about me, Bella, and Alice. I really do. And yes, things are going to be sticky with Alice when it's time to let her know what is happening. But it is not at all what you think it is."

He raised his eyebrows at me, "Go on."

"Dad, I know this is going to sound unbelievable and well, quite corny, but I think…I think I love Bella. I think, no I know, we were meant to be together."

"Edward, she's a teenager. A teenager you have only known for three days. How can you possibly know that you are destined for one another?"

"I just know dad. With every fiber of my being, I know. You are right, I don't know much about her, and yes, she is a teenager, but I know that I want to spend the rest of my life making her feel like this most incredible woman in the world. Saying it out loud to you now only confirmed it."

"Son, you know that sex can often intensify feelings and make you feel things that you don't necessarily feel. It's been a long time since you have been with someone whose company you enjoy. She is a very sweet and charming girl. Don't you think that it's possible that her personality coupled with the sex is making you project feelings that aren't real? I hope you aren't leading this girl on, making her think you love her."

I turned to keep walking down the worn dirt path in the woods. "I can't explain it dad. I know I love her. Emma loves her. I'm positive Bella loves us too."

"Is this about finding a mother for Emma? Bella is nineteen-years-old. I doubt she wants an insta-family at that age."

"It's not about that, though I will admit that it makes my love for her deeper."

I stopped walking and turned to look dad in the eyes. "Dad, I know that my days will be dark without her near. I know that hearing her voice will bring sun into my life. I know that seeing her again will make me complete. She is already running through my veins."

He gave me a pondering look and continued to walk, "And Alice?"

"We have agreed to not tell Alice for now. Hell, we haven't even admitted to each other that we feel this deeply. We have only agreed to phone calls, Skype, and seeing each other at New Year's when we all go for Jasper's party. We didn't even talk about not seeing other people or anything serious in regards to the two of us"

"So you will be taking it slow?"

"Yes. I can tell she has some issues with emotional intimacy. I want her come to her own realization of how right we are."

"I suppose your distance will either draw you closer together or force you apart. What about your residency and fellowship plans? Do you think you can maintain a long distance relationship for at least two more years?"

"You know that I am interviewing to transfer to a pediatric residency for second and third year. I already have an interview in January at CHOP. I will be an exception if I am allowed to transfer in, but I feel pretty positive about being able to make a transfer that is good for my career and just so happens to coincide with Bella's location."

"I guess that is a strange coincidence since you already had it in the works. Alright, I won't tell your sister either, not yet, but I do want you to be respectful of Alice and do what is right by her as well."

"I promise dad. You know I love Alice and I would never intend to hurt her or someone she loves. Oh, Jasper knows. He saw how Bella and I were interacting and asked me about it. I know he will keep me apprised of any suspicions Alice has so I can talk to her when the time is right. He would never let me hurt Alice."

"I am a bit relieved that Jasper knows of your affair. He will make a great addition to this family someday."

"Do you know that is what Alice and Jasper want? To be married?"

"In fact, I do. Jasper stole a few moments with me this weekend and asked if I would give my blessing for him to ask Alice to be his wife."

"What! All this talk of Bella being nineteen, well so is Alice !"

"I suppose it is a bit hypocritical of me to agree to let Alice marry and turn around and berate you for having intense feelings about her roommate. It's just that I want all my children to be happy and with someone that is their perfect mate. I know that is exactly what Jasper is for Alice. I hope that is what Bella is for you."

"I agree about Jasper. I can't imagine a time when he wasn't at her side and he is already a part of our family. As far as Bella, that is what she is for me, and time will prove me right."

"I hope so son. I hope so."

We had walked a full circle through the woods, coming back up behind mom's studio. "Let's go see if mom is ready for some lunch, I'm starving."

BPOV

After Jasper spiced up the plane ride with his illegal stash, we played cards until the plane touched down in Philly. While it didn't totally take my mind off Edward, it definitely helped ease the pain a little. I was glad Jasper didn't let me go to my emo place and wallow in my self-pity.

Now that we were home in our apartment, I couldn't help the feelings that washed over me. I went to my room and took Edward's t-shirt from my bag. He told me to take it with me and I willingly obliged. I put it up to my nose and inhaled the smell of our lovemaking that morning. My clit started throbbing at the memory of him beside me, on me, in me. It was as if I was still there with him, his warm, long, naked body pressed against mine.

I reached up under my shirt and bra and started tracing circles around my nipples. I felt his hot breath blowing on them as he looked up at me with green eyes. As I pinched my nipple, I felt his teeth grabbing it and rolling it under his tongue, a teasing smile on his face as he nipped and bit while playing with my other breast with his fingers.

I unbuttoned my jeans and slid a hand down in them, feeling Edward's hands on my stomach, his tongue on my clit. As my fingers moved faster on my wet clit, I could feel the stubble on Edward's face against my thighs as his tongue flicked across my clit and his fingers reached inside me to the golden spot. I arched my back and moaned as Edward moved faster and faster increasing my pleasure with every roll of his tongue, every movement of his fingers.

As the orgasm overcame me, I rolled on my side, the t-shirt still on my face, and I cried. I cried because I was alone. I cried because Edward was three thousand miles away. I cried because I knew I wanted him more than I have wanted anything in my entire life. I cried because I knew there was no way I could have him.

.Shit. I wiped the tears from my face and picked up my phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Bella!! You're back baby. Can you meet me?"

"Sure Jake. When and where?"

"How about a late dinner at Chart House and then I'll get our usual room at Sofitel?"

"I think I only feel like dinner and drinks tonight. You can fuck me in the car or in the restroom in a bar. I'm not in the mood to wake up alone in a hotel tomorrow."

"Bella, are you okay? You, well, you don't usually talk like this."

"I'm fine Jake, I called you didn't I? I need to shower; I'll meet you at 9:00 pm. Bye."

On my way to the shower, I literally bumped into Jasper. "Sorry Jas…I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"Yeah, you seem like you are thousands of miles away." I closed my eyes tightly hoping to push the ache I felt away. "Are you heading out?"

"I have a date with Jake."

"Really? I thought you might forget about him after the holiday in Forks."

"Why would I forget about him? I've been seeing him for months and it's not like any other options are in front of me at the moment," I responded defensively. I realized how harsh I sounded so I smiled at him and said, "We all can't be as lucky as you and Alice."

Jasper gave me the sweetest look and took my hand, "Bells, come on. I just want you to be with someone that adores you and will spend every moment trying to prove to you that he deserves to be a part of your life. Someone who wants all of you and will give you everything in return for just a piece of you. And I don't mean a piece of ass."

My eyes must have started crinkling in anger because Jasper hastily added, "Don't get me wrong, I know nothing of Jake. _BUT_ if he was good for you, good to you, I would know more about him. I would know him."

"No, you don't know Jake, and have you ever thought that maybe that's _MY_ choice, not his?" I pushed past him to get into the bathroom.

Truth was, I wasn't in the mood for Jake tonight, but then again, maybe it's just what I needed. I knew I would never have Jake, Leah would never allow it. He wasn't leading me on, making me think we had a future that was more than our present. I knew exactly what I was involved in with Jake. At least I'll get a good meal and some drinks out of it. Maybe fucking him will get Edward out of my head.

But as I dressed for my date with Jake I knew nothing could get Edward out of my head. In three days, he had slammed his way into my heart, ripping and tearing the fabric of protection I had carefully sewn around it. I knew Edward was pulsing through my veins and I knew Jake was no substitute. But what could I do? I was a nineteen-year-old college girl. Once Edward went back to his daily schedule at the hospital there is no way he would continue to want me. Besides, there were miles and miles and miles of literal distance between us.

With one last sigh, I sniffed Edward's t-shirt and left to meet Jake. On the way out, I could hear Alice and Jasper laughing in her room. I loved them both dearly, but my heart felt like a lead weight of jealousy knowing they had met their true soul mate in each other. In the dark recesses of my heart, I knew Edward held the key to my soul but my mind refused entrance to that thought because of the heartache it would bring.

EPOV

Emmett and Rose were more than happy to take Emma back to Seattle with them. Rose was ecstatic that she would spend the entire Sunday with Emma, especially since Emmett had to hop a plane to Vancouver as soon as he dropped them at the house.

I was only going to be apart from her for one day, but it was never easy to leave her. "Emma baby," I spoke softly as I entered the living room. She was peacefully sucking her thumb, and twirling her hair. She lifted her head and her green eyes searched until they met mine. I smiled at her before I lifted her up and sat her on my lap. "Daddy has to go to work. Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett will take you back to their house tomorrow." I smoothed her hair out as she laid her head against my chest. I didn't want to leave her. A piece of me had already left with Bella. Leaving Emma really made me feel alone.

"You listen to Aunt Rose and Uncle Em, okay? Daddy's gonna miss you."

She moved her head from my chest and smiled at me. Her tiny hand moved to my face and she gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. "I wove you daddy!" Emma proclaimed, and I couldn't help but smile. Even she could tell I was sad and worked her magic, trying to make me smile.

It didn't take much. I picked her up with a big smile on my face, brought her belly to my mouth and began to blow raspberries on her tummy, making her laugh loudly. When she was out of breath I pulled her back to me and whispered, "I wove you too, baby girl."

Emma was of course thrilled she would get to play princess with all of Aunt Rose's jewelry and didn't seem to mind at all when I left Forks. It was a vast difference from her response when Alice and Bella left.

Bella. My thoughts clouded up as I thought about her. It had physically hurt my heart when I pulled her into the downstairs bathroom for a goodbye kiss. The look in her eyes told me she was just as pained. As our family walked her, Alice, and Jasper to their rental car, Emma jumped from Alice's arms to Bella's, wrapping her little arms and legs around Bella so tight that my heart swelled at seeing the two of them embracing.

"Call Bella mobile," I spoke into my phone. I waited as the smart technology dialed her number. Straight to voicemail, hmmm. I was sure they would be home by now.

"Bella, this is Edward. I wanted to hear your voice and make sure you made it home okay. Uhm, I was called into the hospital tomorrow so I'm headed back to Seattle early. Uhm, call me when you get a chance."

What a dork! My first voicemail to her and it was ridiculous sounding. I sighed and went back to my happy Bella place.

_We showered together and I inhaled her scent, the smell of peaches. I couldn't resist the chance to feel her in my hands and mouth one last time. She turned to me just as eager to devour me as I was her. Her hands, her lips, her tongue were everywhere, making me dizzy with need and pleasure. _

_As the water poured over us, she took my hardness in her mouth and deftly moved her tongue and lips around it, causing me to lean against the shower wall, moaning. I whispered her name, "Bella," and she ran her tongue up my hips, stomach, and chest to my mouth. Her tongue plunged into mine as if it was the last time they would meet._

_I grabbed her ass and pulled her up, sliding into her effortlessly. I crushed her against the wall, my lips never leaving hers, not allowing her a breath. My hands held tight to her waist and I was sure I was bruising her with the forcefulness of my thrusts. She didn't seem to mind as she rode me fast and hard, her hands grabbing at my hair, her legs wrapped tight around me._

Okay Edward, pull yourself out of it man. I was turning into my neighborhood with the biggest hard-on ever. Plenty of time to go back to Bella-land and take care of the hard-on once I got the bags into the house. Emma may be riding home with Emmett and Rose but I brought most of her things back with me. It never ceased to amaze me just how much one little girl can bring with her.

As I pulled into the driveway at home, a rush of adrenaline raced through my body when the headlights swung over a figure. I sat in my car and adjusted my eyes as the figure stood and I froze at who I saw on our doorstep.

BPOV

I took the ticket from the valet and straightened the black shirt I wore. It was late November, but I didn't wear tights under my skirt just my knee high black boots. I was in a black mood and Jake was about to bear the brunt of it.

"Hi Bella," Jake whispered in my ear, slipping his arms around me from behind. "You look amazing."

I pushed his arms away from me, "Hi Jake. I'm starving, let's go eat."

"Okay sure. I want you to try the scallops, they are delicious." He took my hand and pulled me inside the warm restaurant.

We were seated in a cozy booth in the back of the restaurant, assuring us privacy from other diners. Jake put his hand on my knee as I looked over the menu.

"I think I am going to have steak tonight, Jake. Can you order me a red wine that goes well with red meat?"

"Sure baby, anything you want," he responded as he signaled for the waiter.

"How was your holiday with Alice's family?"

I stiffened at him mentioning the Cullen's. I hadn't stopped thinking of Edward and I didn't want Jake trampling on my thoughts of him.

"Uh, it was fine. Nothing to talk about. How was your holiday with Leah's family?"

"We had a great time at their house on the shore. I had an emergency call come in on a dog that was hit by a car, which is why I came home earlier today. She is going to ride back with her brother Paul early in the morning. That leaves me free all night if you still want to take me up on the Sofitel, and I really hope that you do. I've missed your beautiful body."

His eyebrows lifted suggestively at his last comment. Maybe I was taking this all out of proportion. Sitting at the table with Jake, his hand on my knee, things felt normal. Maybe the big gaping hole in my heart wasn't really there. Maybe my pull to Edward wasn't real.

"We'll see Jake. I am tired from the long flight back."

"Ah, you just need a good meal doll. Here, drink some wine."

With the wine in my veins, the rest of the meal passed by surprisingly pleasant. Jake was like an old pair of tennis shoes – comfortable and worn. He tore down some of my walls with his boyish charm and before I knew it, we were at the hotel.

"Bella, you are so beautiful. Come here to me."

I walked over to the edge of the bed where Jake sat. He pulled me down into his lap and I sat there, snuggled against him with his strong arms around me for a while. When he moved to kiss me, I hesitated. It didn't feel right. It wasn't Edward.

EPOV

I took a deep breath and opened the car door. She took a few steps towards me, hesitating. I held my breath and closed the distance between us.

"Kate?"

"Hello Edward. How are you?"

"Uhm, I'm fine. What are you doing here?" I was suddenly glad that Emma had stayed back with Emmett and Rose. She would be protected from whatever insanity Kate had in store for tonight.

"Edward, can we go inside and talk? It's chilly out here and what I have to say is going to take awhile."

"No Kate, I don't think we can go inside. It's been three years; you don't have the right to come into our home. You can get in the car you came in and meet me at Starbuck's up the street."

"Victoria actually dropped me off. I don't have a car."

"Victoria, of course. Fine, get in my car and we'll go somewhere to talk."

I sat back in my car and slammed the door shut. Whatever thoughts I had of going back to happy Bella-land were pushed to the back of mind. What was Kate doing here and what does she want?

**Hit that Green Button - like Edwards Eyes! Review for a teaser of Chapter 5!! Thanks for all the amazing support and Love!! **


	5. Chapter 5

**SM Owns Twilight and the Characters**

**Much Love to the Beta's Keepingupwiththekids and Dolphin62598 for being awesome Beta's I really don't know how they remember all these rules! **

**OH and go check out Fornication Station, I'mwiththevampires08 featured my other story Let Your Mercy Fall on Me on Wicked Wed. Sexpiditions!! Link on my profile!! **

**Chapter 5 **

**BPOV **

Jake's hand moved to my face and he began to stroke it gently. "What's the matter Baby?" he asked softly.

I closed my eyes, shook my head, and tried to smile.

"Nothing," I managed to say as I allowed his lips to find mine. I just wanted to forget that Edward wasn't mine. I could hear his words playing over and over in my head.

"_Tonight, you are someone's, you are mine."_

"Make me yours," I whispered. I felt his strong arms and looked into his dark eyes; I knew it was wrong. I knew I longed for Edward's perfectly messed up hair and his piercing green eyes but I didn't have that to comfort me.

What I had was Jake. "Right now, you are mine," he stated pulling my shirt over my head. I ran my fingers through his hair hoping to feel full, soft hair but was met instead with short, gelled hair. When I felt his clean-shaven face against mine, I longed for the scruffiness I had become used to feeling against my hands, my neck, my thighs….I missed Edward.

Jake's mouth worked over my exposed breast while I pretended to be enjoying myself. I pictured the past weekend, all the ways that Edward touched me, the way he ignited my body. I started to see unruly hair, and perfectly defined abs, not the big muscles Jake worked for every day. I started to see Edward. I began to lose myself in the delusion my mind created.

"Fuck!" I groaned as my center became wet from the fingers moving inside of it. The lips on my breast coupled with the fingers inside of me, brought on my orgasm. "Edward!"

**EPOV **

I was silent on the drive over to Starbucks. My hands held the steering wheel tightly as I tried to remain calm. I didn't even look at her once she climbed into the passenger seat of my car.

"Where is Emma?" Kate dared to ask me. I sped down the road and couldn't acknowledge her in that moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her twirling her hair, a habit I recognized as one of Emma's.

I pulled swiftly into the parking lot of the Starbucks and jerked to a stop in a parking place. Kate got out of the car first and I watched her walk inside the coffee shop. I took a few deep breathes in an attempt to control all of my emotions. I was very angry for everything she had put me through, but at the same time, I was very thankful for the life she helped create.

As I walked into Starbucks, I couldn't help but see the woman I once found bubbly, cute, and whose happiness was once contagious.

_I took a seat in the causal café with one of my pathology textbooks. My nose was buried deep when she approached me and asked to take my order. "Just coffee, extra sugar, one cream," I told her without even looking up at her. _

"_You're going to take up a seat for a cup of coffee? How am I supposed to make a living?" She joked. I looked up and couldn't help__ but get lost in her deep blue eyes. _

I looked around the Starbucks and spotted the same girl at a table towards the back of the coffee house. She looked the same, except she didn't radiate happiness. The bouncy curly blond hair was flat and the deep blue eyes were shallow. I sat down across from her as she passed me a cup of coffee.

"Extra sugar, one cream," she said sipping from her cardboard cup.

"Thanks," I managed to say.

"Listen, I know you hate me, I know I have made mistakes. I just…I want a second chance."

"A second chance?" I asked flabbergasted. "Don't you mean a third chance? Didn't I already give you a second chance?"

"_Kate what the fuck is this?!" I yelled at her. I was beyond furious, I was scared. "What the hell are you doing?! Do you even understand the consequences to this?" I punched the wall a few inches from her head, making her flinch, "Answer me!" I demanded. _

"Please, let me talk. Give me the chance to explain," she remained calm as she spoke. I let out the tense breath I had been holding and nodded at her to continue. "I have changed. I left because I wasn't strong enough to do it before. I didn't feel like a good mother. Things got a lot worse for me before they got better. I want to make it right. "

"Well, your mistakes had effects on me and more importantly on EMMA! For eight weeks she struggled to overcome that shit!"

"_Emma…shhh…I know," I tried to sooth my daughter as her high-pitched cries filled my tiny apartment. I did everything the doctors told me to do to help make things easier for her. I swaddled her tightly, gave her massages, and soothing baths. My heart broke for her. She was tiny, and she had trouble putting on weight. She did more than spit up constantly. After almost every feeding, she threw up almost all the formula. I found myself many nights crying on the phone to my mother, or stopping by Rosalie's unexpected, Emma in tow...begging for help. For someone else to take a turn soothing her when my patience wore thin…this only caused me guilt. _

"I know Edward. I am so sorry. I want to make it right, make it up to you, and to Emma. I was so lost and confused. "

"When did you start using again? How long did you stay clean?" I asked looking up from the table. I knew she could read the anger on my face, I could feel the anger seeping through the atmosphere.

"After she was born, and I saw her in that NICU…she was so small, so helpless…and it was my fault. I felt crushed with guilt. It hurt to look at her. After they discharged me…I went to Victoria and James and snorted some heroin with them. If I could go back, if I could change the way I handled my guilt I would in a second!"

_I stayed in that NICU every second of every day that I was allowed. The nurses were wonderful. Dr. Vladimir became my mentor, almost __like my hero, for saving Emma's__life. He helped her overcome so much in such a short amount of time. Thanks to him, I didn't have to administer methadone doses to my newborn daughter. _

"Why should I believe that _**THIS**_time you changed? What is so different about this time compared to the last time?"

"I was taking methadone for a year, and I finally got weaned off it. Last year I nearly killed myself. I have just been hiding from mistakes. From you and Emma…I want the life you used to talk to me about having."

"_Katie," I said looking into her eyes as I rubbed her swollen belly, "I am not sure I want to give the baby up," it was the first time I broached the subject with her. _

"_E, I am not ready to be a mom," she told me removing my hand from her stomach. _

"_We could do it, be a family, and have a white picket fence, a dog… get married," I said softly looking into her eyes. _

"_You don't love me like that E," Kate laughed at me. _

"_I could if you let me," I told her. "I could be that man for you. Take care of you, of our baby." _

"That was a long time ago Kate. I am not sure we can go back to that, too much has happened. "

"Will you let me work for a place back in your lives….please," Kate begged from across the table. I could see tears filling her eyes, and I reached my hand over to hers and rubbed it gently. I gave her a small smile.

"Why didn't your parents keep in touch with Emma?" I asked her as I stood from the table. It was getting late and I wanted to get back home. Once we were seated in the Volvo I looked to Kate to answer my question.

"I didn't just runaway from Emma," she began to explain. I started the ignition and backed out of the parking spot. "I ran from them too. I guess it hurt them too much. I really disappointed them. They came home one night when I still had her with me, I was so high I could hardly stand…God I am so ashamed to admit this, to relive it…Emma was screaming. My mom stormed in and took her out of the crib, cared for her while I nodded in and out of consciousness. When I came down, my mom had our shit packed. She told me she didn't care what I did with myself, but she wasn't going to enable me. She said 'Edward wants her, Edward loves her, take her to him, and let him have her. She deserves better then what you can give her. I'm too old for this.' So, I did it. I brought her to you and left. To this day they still won't talk to me."

I didn't say anything for a few moments while we continued to drive. When I parked the car outside my duplex I began to tell Kate how hard it was for me.

"It was hard Kate, really hard. I wake up some days and I can't believe that I did it, that I am doing it. I would do anything for her," I said leading her into my house. I pulled out a chair at the kitchen table for her and sat down next to her.

"I don't think I can stay clean without trying to fix this. It eats at me every day. I need to try. I know Emma is your priority, and I know you only want what is best her…just get to know me again…and then make your decision. I know I don't have chance in hell in the court system against you. I don't want to take her from you; I just want another chance to be her mother." My own mother's words echoed in my head, 'Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second'. I watched Kate sit before me, bearing her soul to me, the one person that would be able to grant her a second chance.

I looked up at her and saw more tears run down her face, the same face as Emma's. "Please," she whispered to me in a strangled voice, before she moved her gaze to her lap.

I gave her a reassuring smile, "of course, everyone deserves a second chance and Emma certainly deserves a mother," I spoke softly. "_**BUT,**_ if you do anything that will compromise her well being, I won't hesitate to do whatever needs to be done. Don't disappoint her."

"Thank you, I won't, I promise," she replied closing her eyes in what seemed like a silent prayer. I watched her face as I took in all the features she and Emma shared. Kate slowly opened her blue eyes, the only difference between her and Emma's physical features.

"God, you are more beautiful than I remembered," Kate spoke softly as she lowered her face to mine and I quickly backed away.

"What? Did I do something?" Kate asked me confused.

"Um...I have to put some things away," I walked quickly away from her to get Emma's bags. "Um, you should probably call Victoria or whoever to come get you, and if you want you can come by tomorrow after dinner to meet Emma, say six-thirty? And one more thing Kate, tomorrow when you see Emma again, I would appreciate if we could keep the name mom out of the equation."

"Edward, she is my daughter don't you think she has the right to know that?" Kate looked indignant and defensive by placing her hands on her hips.

"No, no I don't at all. I think being called mom is a privilege not a right, and as far as I am concerned you haven't earned that title." I grabbed Emma's pink princess bag and headed to her room to put some of the things away. It didn't escape me that Kate followed. I watched her from the corner of my eye while she inspected my daughter's room. I watched her hand trace over the photo on Emma's nightstand of me and Emma at the park. She picked up Emma's favorite baby doll, and smoothed out her wrinkled dress. I heard her sit softly on her bed, bring the tattered blanket her mother had made Emma to her nose and inhale the scent.

**BPOV**

"Edward?! Who the hell is Edward?!" Jake roared as he rose from the bed. I felt my blood begin to boil.

"Please Jake! Don't act like you are better than me, or that you don't fuck anyone else! I didn't know there were double standards in this arrangement!" I shot back.

"Bella, you are aware of Leah!"

"Yeah, but is Leah aware of me!? Maybe I should call her and find out," I threatened.

"Don't you bring her into this," Jake yelled pointing his finger at me.

"I didn't bring her into this, you did! I owe that woman _**NOTHING**_! You on the other hand…you owe her _**EVERYTHING**_! And how do you repay her?! By sleeping with _**ME**_! Why do you feed me lies? Why do you tell me shit you don't mean? Why do you tell me how wonderful I am, and how you wish your wife was more like me, and how _**MISERABLE**_ she is! If everything you say to me is true, you would have left her, you would be with me! So, yeah, I found someone in Seattle that gives me butterflies, and tells me I am beautiful and special, and I believe him…How long did you think this was going to last?" I asked, pulling on the white terry cloth hotel robe.

"Bella…I mean _**ALL**_ of those things. Leah isn't exactly stable. I am afraid of what she will do if I ask for a divorce."

"Well, I am not your Pretty Woman."

"Is that how you think I treat you?! Like a hooker?"

Jake and I were well known here, the staff was professional and respectful. Jake always got the best of everything when we were here.

"Sometimes. You buy me these fancy dinners, and keep this suite in a hotel stocked with expensive lingerie, and the concierge doesn't say anything, but I see the way he looks at me. I know what he is thinking. I don't know what I want right now. Maybe we should just take a step back. I think we both need to make some hard choices. I deserve more than this. "

"Right and this Edward character showed you that in a weekend? He was just using you! Don't you see that? He knew you weren't going to be around, it was easy for him. He told you all the things you wanted to hear so he could get in your pants, and you fell for it! At least I am honest about how much I am willing to give you." Jake's tone got quieter as he spoke.

"You don't even know him! How dare you act like I am some naïve girl that got taken advantage of! Fuck you and your stupid assumptions!"

"I am sorry Bella, I never intended for you to feel that way," Jake said shaking his head at the ground. I watched him button up his shirt and adjust his belt. "I'll leave. I thought this was working for you. Stay as long as you like, we can talk more later," he said as he walked out the door.

I collapsed on the bed as tears poured from my eyes. I was alone. I belonged to no one. I wanted desperately to be Edward's. I adjusted myself and pulled out my purse. I took out my cell phone and pushed the power button. A few seconds after the phone was on, I noticed the yellow envelope displayed on the screen telling me I had a voicemail.

I listened and heard his voice stumble slightly through the message. It was sweet, adorable even. I knew Jake was dead wrong about Edward just using me, or being fake to get laid. With every fiber of my being, I knew I belonged with him, that we were made for each other. It brought a smile to my face. I couldn't wait to call him back. It may have been past midnight here, but it was only a little past nine o'clock in Seattle.

**EPOV**

"E?" I heard her say from Emma's bed. I closed Emma's dresser drawer and turned to her.

"What's up?" I asked walking out of Emma's room. Kate quickly got up and followed me into the hallway.

"Do you think we could spend some time together? You know, getting to know each other again? I'd like the chance to become the girl you could fall in love with," she asked me placing her hand on my chest.

I stared in her blue eyes, wishing they were pools of brown. I traced my hand down the side of her blonde hair wishing it were Bella's chestnut hair. I closed my eyes and pictured the family I hoped for this past weekend, as I focused on my daughter I couldn't help but remember all the times I wished she had her mother's love.

Here she was offering herself. I slowly changed the mental image to Kate instead of Bella. I could at least try to make it work with Kate for Emma's sake, couldn't I? Her happiness was more important than mine was. Could I sacrifice a great love with Bella for a good life with Kate if it meant the best for Emma? Then again, I guess only time will tell if Kate would be the best for Emma.

"Kate, I am really confused right now. I met someone recently that I feel very strongly about, someone that Emma loves. I know you don't know this, but it is a big deal for Emma to be comfortable around females. "

"Where is she if she is so special?" Kate asked me.

"That is why I am confused…she lives on the east coast. If you want a place in our lives of course we will need to spend some time getting reacquainted with each other. I can't make you any promises on anything romantically right now. All I can say is whatever happens, happens. " I told her.

"Did you decide on a specialty?" she asked me changing the subject quickly. She never did take rejection well.

"Neonatology actually. The doctors that handled Emma were amazing. I really want to be able to do that for parents and give those infants a chance at life."

"Are you doing that here in Seattle?"

"Right now, but my dream is to do it at the number one neonatal unit in the country, I have an interview in January at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia? What about me? How am I supposed to work for a place in your lives if you are in Philadelphia?"

"Kate, let's just cross that bridge when we get to it – if we get to it. I have every intention of giving Emma the chance to have her mother back. I do what I say, and I mean what say."

"I'm sorry Edward, I should be more thankful for giving me another chance," Kate spoke as what I assumed was Victoria's horn honked.

"See you tomorrow night?" Kate asked walking backwards toward the door. I couldn't help but notice her breasts. Perfectly round, perky, C cup, I could still picture her pink nipples, the way they bounced up and down when she rode me.

_Fuck, another hard on. _

"Tomorrow," I smiled at her. After the door shut, I thought I would take advantage of not having Emma home and pop in _Ass Ventura. _

As the movie began, I undid my jeans and began to stroke myself slowly. Things were beginning to build when my cell phone rang. I considered letting it go to voicemail, but I was afraid it could be Rose or Emmett needing to talk to me about Emma.

"Hello," I tried to speak coherently into the phone.

"Edward…it's Bella." Her velvet voice was shaky and soft. It made my heart warm and my stomach flutter.

"Bella," I said relieved sitting back down on the couch. I clicked the TV off and let out a loud sigh. "How are you?"

"Lost," she managed to speak into the phone. "Alone." I could hear how she tried to swallow down the pain. "I feel…god this is going to sound ridiculous, but I feel as if I left part of myself with you. A big part of myself, a part of myself that contains my joy…my happiness, am I making any sense? The first time I genuinely smiled since I left Forks was when I heard your message."

"I feel it too," I closed my eyes as and thanked the heavens Bella felt the same way I did, but I didn't allow myself to say more as my conversation with Kate was all too fresh.

"I saw Jake tonight."

"Oh," I managed to squeak out as waves of jealousy overtook me.

"He and I are going to take a step back from each other. I told him I couldn't be with someone halfway anymore."

I felt so relieved to hear her say that. "You deserve someone that makes you feel loved and cherished."

"After this weekend, I realize that. I began to feel like his hooker, his dirty little secret. It wasn't fun anymore. It was hard and it was killing my self-esteem. I just didn't see it until you showed me otherwise."

"Bella…you are incredible."

"When you told me I was extraordinary…it was the nicest thing a man has ever told me."

"How long were you with Jake? Will you tell me about that?"

"Umm…Jake and I have been seeing each other for I don't know, six or seven months. He is charming, and a smooth talker. He is older, has an established veterinary practice. I thought I was special because of everything he bought me, because he took me to fancy restaurants, but now I just feel like that was his way of paying me for the sex."

"Is that why you never let Alice and Jasper meet him? Because he is older?"

"I don't really want to get into all that…I mean it's not like he is robbing the cradle with me or anything. He is twenty-nine. It's just complicated."

"I am pretty sure I understand complicated," I told her.

"I told you something personal, now it's your turn," Bella said. I could tell she didn't want to discuss Jake with me any further, and to be honest I wasn't really ready to hear anymore.

"Did Alice tell you what it was like for me when Emma was born?" I asked her.

"Only how great you were, how you stepped up to take care of her."

"Her mother, Kate, when she was about five months pregnant, I found out she was using heroin," I heard Bella gasp at the information she unknowingly asked me to tell her. "I'll never forget walking into her room and catching her snorting that shit…It was about a week after her ultrasound. It was about the time I started changing my mind, when I started to fall in love with Emma. I was furious. Not only at her, but also at myself for never realizing she was a drug addict. It was recommended that she start taking methadone as opposed to withdrawing, they didn't think Emma would survive that. During the next fourteen weeks, Kate attended counseling, swore she was going to get her shit together…I tried to talk her into trying to make us a family, but she refused. Emma was born at thirty-four weeks. She spent a few days in the NICU…She had some breathing problems, but the doctor caring for her was amazing and had other alternatives to Emma's withdrawing than methadone. Kate couldn't handle it. The constant crying, the constant throwing up…she was so tiny for so long because she couldn't keep anything down. I don't think I will ever forget the high pitched cries she had." Now it was my turn to swallow back the pain. I took a deep breath before I finished, "it took her about eight weeks to get over the methadone addiction."

"God Edward. I had no idea. I am so sorry," I could tell she was struggling to find the words.

"Don't be, it isn't your fault. Plus Emma is a perfectly healthy, happy little girl."

"Did I tell you how amazed I am by you? I almost can't fathom the thought that you actually want me."

"Why wouldn't I want to be a part of you? You are incredibly sexy, smart, charming, funny, and you are a natural with my daughter who happens to adore you. I'm just afraid that might scare you."

"Scare me? I adore Emma. She doesn't scare me."

"No, but maybe you will be scared to be put in a motherly role so young in your life, I can't introduce someone to Emma only to have them leave. She needs stability." Maybe I was saying too much too fast, but I needed to know. Since Kate was back in the picture and seeming willing to be there for Emma…even for me, I needed to know if I should be holding on to the life I pictured with Bella.

"Edward, you and Emma mean a great deal to me and in such a short amount of time. I would never let Emma think otherwise, no matter what the circumstances. And if you are asking me if I am ready for a responsibility like that right now, I honestly don't know, I would like to think I am."

"I wish you were in my arms right now, I wish I could feel you," I told her feeling myself grow hard again.

"I don't want to be anywhere but your arms, I felt so…safe in them. What I wouldn't give to feel them wrapped around me right now." Bella spoke quietly. She sounded so alone. We both were so alone.

"Are you alone?" I asked her dying to bring her some pleasure, even if all I could do was hear it.

"I am," she breathed into the phone.

"If I were with you," I swallowed loudly before continuing. "You would be in my arms; I would love to undress you, slowly, to make sure I could take in every beautiful detail of you. I can picture your breasts under my touch, in my mouth. Licking, sucking, pinching your pink nipples." I began to stroke myself as I listened to Bella's breathing become shallow. "Are you touching yourself?" I asked her in a hushed voice.

"Uh huh…I am picturing your hands and mouth, the way you would press your hardness up against me...mhmm."

Fuck how I wish I could see her touching herself.

"I would move down your stomach trailing soft kisses, sucking gently as I reached your clit. Tell me how you are doing it to yourself?" I began to pump myself harder at the thought of Bella touching herself. My mind raced with thoughts of whether or not she had any toys she liked to use to help herself. I let out a soft grunt at prospect of what she was doing.

**BPOV**

I removed the terry cloth robe leaving me completely exposed. I pushed my back against the headboard and spread my legs, letting my hand move in between my thighs.

"I'm in this big bed…all alone completely naked," I began to tell him, my voice a little shaky, unsure of the right words to say. "Listening to you talk, fuck! It has me so wet. I am rubbing myself, thinking of you, feeling my breasts every now and then."

"Be more specific Bella…I want to know how you are feeling yourself, it makes me so hard," Edward spoke into the phone.

"Um," I was a bit nervous; I had never had phone sex before. "I am rubbing my clit in a circular motion with my finger…letting it move inside me every few circles and then I stop to pinch my nipples."

"Damn, Bella…I wish I could lick all that wetness up, taste the sweet peach flavor you have. I want to throw your legs over my shoulders and move my tongue in and out of you. Up and down your throbbing clit, I can taste it,"

"Edward! I am going to come," I told him as I rubbed faster and moved harder in and out of myself.

"Are you still using one finger?"

"No, two," I told him my breath becoming labored. "God, I wish this was you filling me. Tell what you are doing to yourself."

"Moving my hand up and down myself picturing your beautiful form spread open on a bed, waiting for me to taste you, fill you…I'm close too," he told me.

"What I wouldn't give to swallow every last drop of your come…mmmm!"

"Come with me Bella," Edward groaned into the phone.

"Always with you…for you…only you," I struggled to speak as waves of pleasure rocked my body.

Edward and I didn't speak for several seconds as we caught our breath. He told me it was amazing, and I agreed. It was better than any sex I ever had with Jake, and came in second after physically having sex with Edward.

Later that night, I made my way back to University City to the apartment I shared with Alice and unofficially with Jasper. I groggily inserted the key in the door and pushed it open. Jasper and Alice were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie.

"Bella!" Alice greeted me cheerfully. "How was your date?" She asked making sure she said date in a goofy tone.

"Ah...dinner was nice, as always…it was after dinner that sucked." I told her plopping down in the oversized armchair.

"Oh no! What happened?" Alice looked concerned.

"I ended it with him. You know I want more," I said glancing at Jasper with a small smile. "I deserve more," I continued. Jasper smiled and nodded at me.

"You do Bells, I know you will find it," Jasper told me offering me his warm, sincere smile. I could feel the reassurance radiating from him in waves and it calmed me.

The next afternoon I woke up with a smile. I had all my classes in three days, and today was not one of them. I did however have work. I worked two nights a week at Level Room as a shot girl. Yeah, I have to shake my ass a little and wear a short skirt, but I make good tips. That is all that matters, otherwise I would be living in some nasty dorm with girls I couldn't stand. I met Jake there…fuck him.

I groggily stretched and climbed out of bed. I couldn't even think about where I was walking, I needed coffee. I began to head for the kitchen where I heard Alice talking real fast at Jasper. This could only mean one thing…she was upset.

"I just, gah! What is wrong with him? Who the hell does she think she is? I really want to strangle them both!" Alice's words rushed out of her mouth.

"Alice, slow your roll," I told her rubbing my eyes. Jasper laughed a little, but Alice, she didn't find it quite so amusing. "I'm afraid to ask what has you in this little mood of yours," I told her.

"Edward of course, he is…god…he is too kind for his own freaking good."

"Edward?" I asked trying to sound uninterested, when really I was dying to know every last detail.

"Yeah, he got home from Forks and you will never believe who was waiting for him on his steps," Alice said tapping her foot quickly.

"Who?" I asked in mock horror.

"Kate," Alice spoke and I almost forgot to close my gapping mouth, the horror was no longer 'mock'.

"Oh," I said pouring coffee, "When did that happen again?" I asked her.

"Yesterday," she said again annoyed.

"Like in the middle of the night," I hoped she had stopped by after our conversation ended, because I was a little upset that he would fail to mention this to me on the phone.

"No like the middle of the day Bella, what does it matter? She has no right to show up and expect Edward to hand over Emma, and the nerve she has to ask Edward to give her a chance to be together again! And all while she acts like she didn't royally fuck up!"

"What did Edward tell her?" I asked as I pushed back the lump I felt in my throat.

"That Emma deserves the second chance at a mother, not her and that whatever happens happens between them, but he couldn't promise her anything. He should have told her when hell freezes over, or pigs fly, or the year of never and the month of then!"

"Really? He told her whatever happens happens?" I asked as I felt a piece of my heart break. Was Jake right?

"Can we focus on Emma? Who cares how Edward fucks up in his love life! He can't fuck up Emma's life like that, tell her, here is your mommy, and then have her screw things up and leave her disappointed and feeling abandoned!"

"Is she clean?" I asked.

"So she says," Alice said quickly.

Oh crap! I didn't even think about the fact that she has no clue I know all about that. She certainly didn't tell me, and I don't know how I will explain it to her.

I wanted to call him, confront him. I hesitantly dialed his number when I went back in my room. There was no answer.

"Edward, it's me Bella…I don't know what's going on, but I feel…I don't know, lied to, because withholding information and saying misleading things to people is lying to them. I just spent six months being fed lies with misleading behaviors. How could you? Forget it." I pushed the end button and sunk into my bed. I bummed around the rest of the day annoyed and lonely.

I got ready for the work, putting on my short jean skirt and black t-shirt, tied to the side. I put on my knee-high boots to help keep me warm in the brisk fall nights.

I plastered on a smile and flirted with all the right men to get all the big tips. One of the men bought me a shot and I began to down it when _**HE**_ walked into the bar. Except, Jake wasn't alone. At his side was a beautiful Native American woman. Shiny black hair, perfectly tanned skin, thin build, long lean legs.

I couldn't believe his nerve. He walked right up to me with her and ordered two shots as if he had no clue who I was. "Excuse me," he spoke loudly over the music. "Leah, baby what kind of shot do you want?" He asked her kissing her neck, and holding her close. I rolled my eyes at him when she looked down at my vials of shots.

"The blue one looks good," she said. I got the two shots and handed them over as Jake slipped me a fifty dollar bill.

I began to get his change when he informed me to, "keep the change," I was livid. I don't know what I was thinking, but I handed him back the fifty, "Those two are on the house," I told them both with a smile. "Nice to see you again Jake," I told him smugly before walking away.

**EPOV **

I spent most of the night on the phone with Bella, I didn't get enough sleep, not that it mattered I hadn't gotten eight full hours of sleep since Emma was born.

I rushed out of the house, and made my way to the hospital. When I arrived, I immediately made my way to labor and delivery. McKenna informed me of a woman in pre mature labor, only twenty-three weeks. I waited outside with the rest of the team who were called to help with the case. We all had a job to do, save a life.

As soon as the baby was delivered, we went to work to stabilize the infant. It was nerve wrecking at times to work with distraught parents in the room. I couldn't fault them; I knew exactly how I felt when Emma was born.

To someone looking at us working, I am sure it looks chaotic. In reality, we are all a team and we are in control. Once the infant was stable enough to transport to the NICU nursery we rushed off, so we could finish all the necessary procedures without the watchful eyes of her upset parents.

I felt so bad for the new parents. A baby born so young is at risk for many developmental problems _**IF**_ they can pull through. McKenna went to give the parents an update, while I finished some notes on the chart. It was their first child, one they tried to conceive for months. I washed my hands before I exited the NICU and turned to see the couple whose child's life hung in the balance.

The distraught man stood behind his wife who sat in a wheelchair in front of the glass window. They looked longingly at their daughter, who was hooked up to multiple machines, had patches covering her eyes, and whose skin was somewhat translucent. She could easily fit into the palm of my hand, and weighed only one pound and fourteen ounces. I could see they had both been crying, and I began to walk briskly past them.

"Excuse us! Doctor!" I heard the woman call for me. I stopped dead in my tracks and closed my eyes tightly before turning to face her. I gave her a sad smile and asked her what I could do for her. "You were in the room, right? Working on our daughter?"

"Yes, ma'ma, I was," I told her.

"Is she going to be okay?" The new mother asked me, and I was confused. I swore McKenna said she was going to talk to them about their daughter's condition.

"Didn't Dr. Benson speak to you yet?" I asked them both.

"She did," her husband spoke, "but she said a lot of scary things, she wasn't very reassuring," he trailed off sadly. I let out a sigh because I knew McKenna was a no nonsense doctor. She told it like it was.

"Your daughter has a tough road ahead of her…it isn't going to be easy, but it certainly isn't impossible. This is the best NICU in the state, and is ranked sixteen in the country. I assure you everything that can be done, will be done to make sure she has the best possible outcome," I tried to give them some hope. That was one thing I never wanted to do… take all hope from any patient.

"Thank you, Dr….?"

"Cullen," I finished for them, as I shook the hand of someone that looked hopeful again. I even got a sad smile from his wife. I nodded once at them before I turned to leave.

I know it may sound odd, but I live for cases like these, when I might save a life. I had a long road ahead of me to become a neonatologist, but I wanted nothing more than to do this every day.

What I was having trouble with was coming to terms with Kate's reappearance in my life. I couldn't wait to get home and see Emma. I had talked to her on the phone several times, and she was having a blast with Rose.

She asked about 'Belwa', and I had to explain that Bella was with Aunt Ally in Philadelphia going to school. She asked me if the next time we called to talk to Aunt Ally if she could 'pweese' talk to Bella too.

"Of course you can princess, Daddy has a new friend coming over after dinner tonight, her name is Kate and she wants to meet you," I told her.

"Emma want to see Belwa, not Kate!"

"We can see Bella again, but tonight we are going to get to know Kate, okay? Be a good girl for me, and give Aunt Rosie the phone please?"

"Kay I wove you Daddy,"

"I wove you too, Baby girl," I made a kiss sound into the phone, making Emma laugh. I heard her run to Rose and tell her "My Daddy wants to talk to you."

"Kate?! " Rose practically screamed into the phone. "Are you crazy Edward? What are you thinking!"

"Rose please keep it down, I know what I am doing. Don't freak Emma out even more; you know how she can get around strange woman," I pleaded with Rose.

"Well, I hope you know what you are doing, because I don't want anything bad to happen because you let that piece of trash back in Emma's life."

"I told her I would give her a chance to prove herself that is all. It is not as if I am handing Emma over to her for the weekend. Believe me, Kate has a lot of shit to prove, I will be home by five, can you meet me at my place with Emma then?' I asked her.

"Fine," she spoke coldly. I was use to her bitchiness by now.

"Thanks Rose, see you later," I said before she hung up on me.

I rushed home and was only there a few minutes after five. Rose had a key and let herself and Emma inside our home. I walked in to find Rose making dinner in the kitchen.

"Daddy!" Emma yelled running into my arms. I scooped her up and kissed her placing her on my hip.

"Rose, you didn't have to cook us dinner," I said to her as I kissed her quickly on the cheek.

"Of course I didn't, but I like to make sure Emma eats good food, and not just take out every night," Rose laughed at me.

"You are going to make a great mother one day Rose," I told her.

"_**IF**_ I ever get the chance to be," she replied her voice void of emotion.

"You will," I assured her. "Being a mother is more than just carrying a child."

"I don't want to talk about all that right now if it's okay with you," Rose looked at me and I could see the tears in her eyes. I nodded at her and turned my attention to my beautiful daughter.

"Who's Kate?" Emma asked me, "Aunt Rosie said she is bad news." I shot a glare toward Rose who just shrugged at me.

"She is," Rose said confidently.

"Kate is an old friend of Daddy's, and she just needs another chance to fix some mistakes she made, and grandma always taught Daddy to give people the benefit of the doubt, and second chances. So when Kate gets here, we are going to be nice and talk to her, and not focus on the bad things she did before, do you understand Em?" I asked her, because halfway through that speech I wondered how much she could possibly understand.

"I fink so…Kate isn't bad news no more?"

"That's right, baby."

I hope I didn't just lie to my little girl.

**Reviews get a teaser! So Review away we love em'! **


	6. Chapter 6

**SM owns Twilight **

**Thanks to Keepingupwiththekids for being our awesome Beta!!**

**A/N - Sorry this was so long in the making. Holidays and family sure do take a lot of time! Thanks to Robicorn for being as patient as ever with me.**

**Robicorn is now involved in a kick ass story being written by 6 authors under the penname DevilishPleasures. The authors involved are **_**Lolafalana, Iadorepugs, Robicorn, NJNYTwiGals, and I'mwiththevampires08.**_

**The Story is Wicked Angel and it is dark, sick, and just plain fucked up! There is a Twilighted Thread for it, and thanks to **_**Rose Arcadia**_** a kick ass blinkie for it! The link is on my profile, please go – read, review, and Rec! **

_**Wicked Angel: **_

_**I am Edward Cullen and I have a deadly secret: I am a hit man. Except I don't do it the normal way. I'm flamboyant, and insane. I make it a sport, a game. I'm a new target: Isabella Newton. With the help of my friends, we plan the crime of the century. What the hell am I going to do when she becomes more than my target and becomes my life...?**_

Chapter 6

EPOV

I was nervous waiting for Kate. I had no idea how Emma would react and I hoped that I was doing the right thing.

When the doorbell rang, Rose and I quickly looked at each other. Her eyes said, "are you sure you know what you're doing." My eyes said, "I have to, for Emma."

"Daddy, is that Kate winging the door?"

"Sure is sugarplum. Stay here at the kitchen table with Aunt Rose while Daddy lets her in."

I took a deep breath and turned the handle, "Kate."

"Good evening Edward."

I noticed she was holding something behind her back and as she walked in, I saw a doll. "Kate, you cannot give that to Emma."

"Why not, Edward? She's my daughter and I'm seeing her for the first time in over three years."

"First, we agreed that the term _mother _will not be used anywhere near Emma. Second, you cannot buy her. You are here at my pleasure and I will be watching your every move. Maybe later you can give her this doll. For now, we will put it in the hall closet."

Kate begrudgingly handed over the doll; but of course, Kate always has to have the last word. "Edward, I may be here at your pleasure, but I am going to be the best mother you could ever hope to have for Emma."

I answered her with a grunt and turned toward the kitchen. Kate had already pissed me off and she made me think of Bella – the woman I was already imagining as a mother for Emma. I was going to thoroughly enjoy the look on Kate's face when she saw Rose. The two had never really liked each other and when the truth about Kate's drug use came to light, Emmett had to physically pull Rose off Kate. Rose didn't speak to either of us for weeks. When she finally called me to apologize, she was in tears. She apologized for attacking the "despicable piece of trash" that was carrying my child. She was in tears because she wanted nothing more than to be a mother and here was Kate throwing it all away, endangering her child so much that the baby's chances of survival were slim.

When Kate walked into the kitchen and saw Rose setting the table for four, she was visibly thrown off guard. Rose gave her the once over in the disdainful way only Rose could manage and simply said, "Hello Kate," with the most lethally sweet smile I have ever seen. Kate was appropriately horrified until Emma stood up on her chair and stuck out her hand.

"Hewo Kate. I'm Emma."

God I love my little girl and at that moment I had a moment of trepidation. Rose was right, what was I thinking? This woman almost killed my baby before she was born and tore us apart in the first few weeks of her life. Why, why would I let my beautiful angel near her?

Kate sucked in her breath and didn't say anything back, just staring at Emma's big eyes.

When Kate didn't take Emma's hand, Emma folded her arms and cocked her head, "Are you bad?"

Rose and I both looked at Kate. I was actually enjoying the inquisition by Emma and wanted to see how Kate responded. After all, if she wants to be Emma's mother, she'd have to answer much more difficult questions than this.

"No Emma, I am not bad. I used to be a bad person, but I'm not bad anymore."

Emma gave it some thought. "Okay. You can sit by me."

The tension left Kate's eyes and she sat down. I set about getting beverages, "Kate, would you like ice tea or water to drink?"

"Tea will be fine, thank you," she said with a smile before turning her attention to Emma. "Emma, are you excited about Santa coming later this month?"

Emma's eyes lit up, "Santa Claus can weave me pwesents, but NO will sit in his wap!"

"Emma is still scared of Santa, although she likes the idea of presents," I explained, smiling at Emma proudly.

Rose set the platter with the chicken piccata on the table very loudly. "I do hope you like chicken piccata Kate. I wasn't sure what went with crack."

To her credit, Kate didn't snap back. She merely cut her eyes to Rose and back to Emma.

"Rose, are we ready for dinner?" I asked, hoping to ease the tension a bit.

"I love Aunt Wose's dinner. She is the best," Emma beamed.

After dinner, Kate tried to help Rose clean up, but Rose would have none of it. I let Emma lead most of the evening. Emma did what she normally does after dinner while she waited for me or Rose to finish cleaning up dinner, watch TV. I stayed off to the side to let Kate do any small things she could for Emma, like turn on the TV. I thought it would be easy enough.

Kate flipped on the TV and put on PBS Sprout, to Dragon Tales. Emma looked at her pointedly. I couldn't help but smile slightly at how unknowingly Kate upset Emma by not putting on iCarly.

"Dis show is for babies!" Emma told Kate defiantly. "Emma wanna watch Freddy!" Emma yelled, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. Kate shot me a pleading look, before she gathered herself together and got down to Emma's level.

"Emma, I don't know that much about big girl shows, what show is Freddy on?" Kate asked her pushing some of her blonde hair back.

"iCarly, on Nickaloden," Emma sniffed back her crocodile tears. If Kate wanted to be a mother, she'd have to learn to deal with Emma's tantrums too.

Kate stood and searched for Nickelodeon, finding it rather quickly, and I must admit; I was impressed. Kate did luck out; iCarly is always on one of the three Nickelodeon stations. I wasn't ready to let her know iCarly took up over fifty percent of the DVR.

Emma plopped down on the couch and immediately stuck her thumb in her mouth as she watched her favorite show.

Kate took all the commercial breaks to her advantage, talking to Emma about everything she loved.

"Do you have a favorite book?" Kate asked.

"Ah huh," Emma said barely removing her thumb at all to speak clearly to Kate.

"Can you tell me the name of it?" Kate tried again to get information out of her.

"_Horton Hatches an Egg,"_ Emma said twirling her hair.

"Tell me about it?"

"Maisy bird is wazy and asks Horton to watch her baby egg, but elephants can't weally hatch eggs, and Maisy says she will be back, but never comes back," Emma explained shaking her head, emphasizing the E's in elephant. "But Horton is a good elephant, and takes care of the egg, till it hatches."

"Well, Horton sounds like a great guy." Kate said glancing at me.

"Yup! Elephants are twue one hundred purcent!" Emma said remembering the sentence in the book I always stopped to let her read.

"Do you like any princess stories?" Kate asked her, inching closer to Emma. Emma tensed slightly and got a bit shy, before shaking her head no.

"No?! That is surprising!" Kate stated.

"I wike babies and Freddy…I also wike Spidey-man, and I wike to be daddy's princess." Emma told her quietly.

Emma really was her own little person. Obviously raised by a man with influences from Alice and Rose.

"Belwa watched iCarly wif me and daddy," Emma said, I didn't know whether to be happy that Bella left such an impact on her or dread that I wasn't sure how that was going to work out anymore.

"Bella?" Kate questioned, looking back and forth between Emma and I. I walked over to Emma scooped her into my lap with a kiss to her forehead.

"One of Alice's friends," I told Kate nonchalantly.

"And one of my fwiends!" Emma said excitedly.

"Huh… From Philly?" Kate asked sounding a bit annoyed. It didn't take her long to put two and two together. I was happy she knew what I told her about Bella and Emma's relationship was strong.

I let Kate stay a bit longer. She did have a successful tea party with Emma. Even Rose took notice, but was still skeptical. Telling me to "just wait," Kate wouldn't last much longer. It didn't matter; Emma wouldn't know Kate was her mother unless I was certain Kate wouldn't leave. At least I would know that one day when Emma asked, I would be able to say I gave her mother a chance. That I didn't slam the door in her face and take that chance away from her.

Emma hugged Kate hesitantly as she left, and I visibly relaxed when the door closed behind her.

I knew my personal cell had buzzed several times during the evening, but I didn't feel as if I could take my eyes off Kate while she was with Emma so I let it go to voicemail. If there was anything urgent, the hospital would page me and my family would try that avenue. When I finally looked, I had six missed calls. The first was right about the time Kate arrived; the last only about thirty minutes ago. The numbers were all the same, Bella.

My stomach took a bit of a dive as I listened to the messages. The first was hurt and pleading. The last was angry and defiant. She knew about Kate.

I dialed her number and listened to the phone ring six times before I got her voicemail. It was late, maybe she was already asleep.

"Bella, I am so sorry I missed your calls. I will tell you everything, please just call me back when you get this. I don't care what time it is, please call. I never meant to hide anything from you. It happened so fast with Kate showing up. I didn't have time to process it. Please call, please, please call me."

"Who were you leaving that message for Edward?" Rose asked leaning on the doorjamb to my room.

"Nobody Rose. Who did you tell about Kate showing up? You are normally the most discreet person in our family. Obviously that's not the case in _this_ situation."

"Edward, I was worried. I _AM_ worried. Kate almost killed that beautiful girl we all love. Yes, I usually let everyone's business stay their business. But this time, this time I felt the family needed to know that not only was Kate back, but that you were letting her spend time with Emma. I'm sorry if you're mad at me, but I want to protect Emma."

"Rose, don't you think I know how to raise my daughter?" I asked cocking my head to the side.

"You are a wonderful father. I just think your judgment may be clouded here and the family needs to be involved so we can all help pick up the pieces when Kate breaks Emma's heart."

I sighed. Rose is right. I really am a fool for not talking to the family before I let Kate come over and meet Emma.

"Its fine Rose, I'm not mad. I'm just exhausted. Thank you for dinner and staying with us this evening. I appreciate your support and love. And apparently your good sense."

"Good night Edward. Let me know if you or Emma needs me."

Once Rose left, I tried Bella's phone again. Nothing but her voicemail. I hung up and took a shower. As the water fell around me, I played through the events of the evening. It wasn't unpleasant but it also didn't feel whole. Kate was on her best behavior and Emma seemed to like her. Kate appeared to have real remorse over missing Emma's life up until now. Who am I to deny her the chance to get to know her daughter?

My phone rang as I was toweling off, with a hard on of course, and I ran to pick it up hoping it would be Bella. I didn't look at the number before I answered as I was afraid she'd hang up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Edward how could you! I can't believe you are allowing this. Why? Why? Of all…"

"Alice, Alice! Calm down. "

"Edward, I just don't get it. She is such a horrible person. Why would you let her around our beautiful Emma?"

"Alice, when you are a mother, you'll understand. Don't worry, Rose was here to supervise us all evening. Heaven forbid I be trusted with my own daughter's future."

"Edward this isn't about you. It's about Emma. Why subject her to Kate?"

"Yes, Kate was a drug user. She found help and is clean now. Doesn't she deserve a chance to apologize? Doesn't she deserve to know the daughter she left behind in her drug-induced mania? People make mistakes Alice, and …"

"Mistakes? Mistakes!? She almost killed Emma," Alice shrieked at me.

"It may have been one of the biggest mistakes you can make, but it was a mistake. She deserves a second chance and that's my final decision. Either you stand by Emma and me as we navigate these murky waters with Kate or you don't. Kate may not end up staying around or I may decide she's not what's best for Emma. But you are not the one that will have to explain to Emma her mother's absence! Or that her mother tried to come back, only to have the door slammed in her face! I have that shit to deal with in the future! But it's my decision to make Alice and I really need your support."

"I don't like it Edward, not one bit. But if you are going to allow Kate into Emma's life, then yes, I am going to be there. I am going to pester you and I am going to talk to Emma quite often to see what she says about this 'Kate' you've brought into her life."

"Thank you Alice. How is Jasper? Bella?"

"J is great! They are letting him feature some of his creations at the New Year's Eve Party. He's really making a name for himself and I couldn't be more proud."

"That's wonderful! I can't wait to see what he's invented now. And how is Bella?"

"To be honest, I'm worried about her. She broke up with Jake and seems to be numb, just going through the motions each day. She's been working every night, so I haven't really seen her much. I'm going to give her a little time before I give her an Alice bitch-slap and get her back on track."

I was momentarily stunned by this news. I didn't want to think of Bella walking around like a mummy, just going through the motions. I wanted to comfort her, make her laugh. Who am I kidding; I can't provide her that right now. Little does Alice know I'm a part of that mummy behavior.

"Edward? You still there?

"Sorry Alice, yes, just checking on Emma. I'm happy to report that she is sleeping soundly."

"I'm sorry for going off on you. I just hate to think of anything or any_ONE_ hurting our Emma. Especially someone who caused so much anxiety and pain before. I trust you, just please promise you'll talk it out with one of us before you make any rash decisions. We may see something you can't."

"I promise. Rose reminded me that Emma and I are part of a family who loves us and you're right, I might not always see things clearly. I promise that Rose and Emmett will be physically here to watch over us.

"I love you big brother."

"I love you too."

The news about Bella was very disturbing to me. I crawled into bed and tried her phone one more time.

BPOV

The darkness in my room was momentarily interrupted by the light on my phone. I reach over and look at the number. It's Edward. I hit ignore and rolled over.

EPOV

A little angel crawled into bed with me this morning. I love that Emma still wants to cuddle. I know it will be all too soon before she won't want Daddy snuggles.

I looked at the clock and the angry red light reads seven in the morning. That means it's ten in Philly. I grab my phone thinking I must have slept through her call, but there are no missed calls. Frowning I walk into the living room and try Bella's number.

Six rings and voicemail. "Bella, it's Edward. Please call me."

"Daddy, I want to talk to Belwa!!!" Emma screeched at me.

"Honey, when she calls Daddy back, I'll let you talk to her, okay. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Pancakes and chocwate chips!" she screeches.

"Chocolate chips!" I grab her and tickle her until she's giggling so hard I start laughing.

After breakfast, I drop Emma at school and head to the hospital. I have an easier rotation this month, thankfully, and will be able to spend more time like this with Emma, which is good considering Kate will be likely be in the picture.

Last night seemed to have gone fine, but Emma didn't mention it once this morning. I'm not sure what I thought would happen but obviously, there wasn't an immediate bond for Emma. I know rationally that the bond between biological parents and children isn't natural and the terms mom and dad are earned and developed over time. It's what I am constantly telling Rosalie. I guess deep down I thought I'd see Emma have a natural inclination towards Kate; but she didn't and I inwardly let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Kate called early that afternoon. I was busy with patients and was thankful for the excuse not to answer. Her message was straightforward – she wanted to know when she could see Emma again. Other than Kate's call, my shift was non-eventful and I picked up Emma and asked what she wanted for dinner.

"McDonald's Daddy!"

"Alright baby, we can go to McDonald's because we haven't been in awhile."

Emma clapped in glee, "I want to pwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!"

Chuckling, I laugh back at her, "Yes, you can play but you have to eat some chicken nuggets too."

"Okay Daddy, I promise," she looks serious. "Did Belwa call Daddy? Want to talk to her."

"No sweet pea, she didn't," I frown at her.

"It's okay Daddy. Belwa will call us," she said patting my arm.

Once Emma was in bed, I tried Bella's number again.

BPOV

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket as I served shots to some wanker college boys. I pulled it out as they handed me a twenty and slapped my ass. I am so tired of this shit. I looked at the phone and see that it's Edward. I decline and put the phone back in my pocket.

EPOV

"Bella, please call me. We need to talk. I know we've only known each other a brief time, but I have very strong feelings for you. Not talking to you for two days is killing me. Please give me a chance to explain."

I tried her three more times that night. I know it's desperate, but what can I do? I sent Jasper a text in the middle of the night: _need to speak bro call me when the coast is clear._

Emma woke me up with sweet angel kisses again. I have a night shift today and we are going to the Woodland Park Zoo as the weather is supposed to hold off raining until the afternoon. I have agreed for Kate to meet us for lunch along with Rose and Emmett. They will be taking Emma from there while I work. Emmett's back in town for a couple of days and Emma loves spending time with both of them.

I check my phone and there's a text message from Jasper: _Call between ten and six your time – will be alone._

I was optimistic about talking to Jasper later today. We just had to get through lunch with Kate. I was suddenly happy that Rose and Emmett would be there with us.

"Come on Daddy – let's go!" Emma walked into my room with her pajamas, shoes, and rain jacket on.

I started laughing and she folded her arms and begins to pout. I scooped her up, "Let's get you some proper clothes and pack your bag for Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett's, then we can go."

The zoo was crowded but Emma still had a blast. Her favorite area is the Zoomazium, of course. She ran and laughed until she is red in the cheeks. I can't help but smile at her unbridled enthusiasm as she climbed up the giant tree.

All too soon, it's time to meet Kate so we bundled back up and head to Tutta Bella. The irony of the name is not lost on me, but Rose and Emmett swear by the pizza there and they think Emma will enjoy watching the artisan's make the pizzas. I really suspect they wanted a relatively busy and noisy place for our rendezvous with Kate.

When we arrived, Kate was already at a booth set for three. I speak to the host and gesture to Kate and he seats us at a table for five positioned where Emma can watch the pizza being made. She clambered right up into the chair and stood in it mesmerized by the man throwing the pizza dough in the air.

"Why did you move tables Edward?" Kate asked.

"Rosalie and Emmett are meeting us. Emma is staying with them tonight."

Kate frowned but to her credit didn't say anything inappropriate. "It will be nice to see Emmett. Is he still playing hockey?"

"Yes I am, Kate. How are you?" Emmett walked up behind Kate.

"Emmett! How good to see you. Looking bearish as ever I see!" Kate says nicely before giving Rose a cold, "Rosalie."

Rosalie gave Kate a nod and we all sat down. Emma squealed and jumped in Emmett's lap when she saw him.

"Umple Emmett!!!"

"Hi sweet girl, you ready for a sleepover at my house tonight?"

"Uh-huh. We saw aminals today. Daddy and me went to the zoo."

Lunch fell into a comfortable meal with everyone focusing on Emma. Nobody spoke of the past or future, in fact, nobody mentioned anything outside of things that pertain to or interest Emma.

Once Emmett and Rose put Emma in their car, Kate asked me to get a coffee. I know I owed her a conversation but I honestly didn't want to deal with it at the moment. I beg out claiming a need to get to the hospital soon and tell her I'll call tomorrow about getting together. As I turn to leave, she grabs my hand.

"Edward, I'd like to spend some time alone with you too."

"Kate, I can't promise anything right now. Let's just see what happens." I removed my hand from hers and turned away.

As soon as I get in the car, I dial Jasper.

"Yo man, what's up?"

"J, please tell me Bella is okay. She won't return my calls."

Jasper is silent for a moment. "Edward, it's not pretty, I'm not going to lie."

I grimaced at the thought of what I have done to her by not being honest. I do suppose having phone sex with her, the moment Kate returns to our lives probably wasn't the most upstanding thing to do.

"She broke up with Jake, and I'm pretty sure that's because when she tried to be with him, she couldn't. You made her want more out of a relationship. You made her feel like she deserved something better."

"She does deserve better Jasper."

"Then she overheard Alice yelling to me about Kate being back and we haven't seen much of her since then. She works her bar job and comes home way after we are asleep. Since I don't have much to do today, I'm hanging around the apartment hoping to get a glimpse of her. To let her know that she does have people who love her."

"What can I do J? How can I get through to her and speak to her?"

"I really don't know man. I…there's…" Jasper hesitated. "Edward, there's something I think you should know. To anyone who doesn't know Bella, her reaction to Kate being back might seem extreme considering the short time you've known each other. But Bella has a past that wasn't kind to her."

"Tell me," I demand.

"When Bella was sixteen, she lived in Philly and dated a guy named Mike Newton. He was the captain of the football team, good-looking, mothers loved him, you know the type. Bella was caught in his trap and believed in the hype. She thought he loved her. So she gave in to his attempts to fuck her. He was rough, but Bella thought this was just how it was, sex was something for the guy, something you give him because you love him and she let him continue to fuck her."

I had to pull the car over at the tone of Jasper's voice. I wanted to cradle Bella and let her know that the sixteen-year-old her has no idea how wonderful sex can be with the right person. Or maybe she does, and that's why my omission of Kate has her reacting so harshly.

"Her parents moved to Phoenix that year. Mike had promised Bella he loved her and they could still be boyfriend/girlfriend from afar. That they could be together when they graduate."

"Bella had been feeling ill right before she left and when she got to Phoenix she realized she had missed her period the last two months. She took a pregnancy test and sure enough, she was pregnant. She panicked. She had no friends in Phoenix, nobody to confide in. She called her friend Jessica back in Philly who had always wanted to sink her claws into Mike. Once Jessica heard the news about the pregnancy, she went straight to Mike."

I put my head in my hands. How could someone do this to Bella?

"Mike called her and ended things immediately. He told her that he loved her and she had betrayed him."

"That bastard."

"Yes indeed he was and still is to this day. But the story doesn't end there Edward. Bella had an abortion."

"No."

"She thought that would be the way to make Mike see that she did love him and that she hadn't betrayed him."

"Fuck Jasper, no wonder she has this shell around her."

"Edward, there's more… Mike dicked her around for the next two years. Her parents would come to Philly occasionally to visit and Mike would pretend he and Bella were together so he could fuck her of course. When she graduated high school, she moved back here so she could be with Mike and that's when she learned that he and Jessica had been dating exclusively since she moved to Phoenix."

"That fucking piece of shit. Both Newton and Jessica."

"Jessica knew he fucked Bella when she visited and she would take Bella out shopping and to parties when she was here. Once the truth came out, Bella immediately stopped talking to anyone associated with her old life in Philly and that's when she met Alice. It took awhile, but Alice did win Bella's friendship and the two are fiercely loyal and protective of each other."

"Thank God they met."

"As you know Bella had been dating Jake. We never met him and they never frequented the restaurants or coffee shops we do. The night we returned from Washington, she broke up with him. Telling us she deserves to be happy, she deserves a good relationship."

It was all coming together for me now. "Then she heard about Kate. I gave her hope that there were nice guys out there and I screwed her over too, at least in her limited view of the situation."

"I have not let on that I know about the two of you. But knowing her past, I can only think that the belief she is not worthy of a good relationship stands front and center in her mind. You know that Emma is about the same age Bella's child would be. Perhaps she saw you and Emma as her redemption, as a sign that she wasn't a bad person for what she did and maybe she did deserve a real chance at happiness."

"Jasper I broke her."

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	7. Chapter 7

**SM Owns Twilight not us**

**Thanks for Reading! Hope you Enjoy! **

**Thanks to Keepingupwiththekids for her Beta services! Come play at The Sandbox Forum! Link on my profile! **

**FYI: CHOP is Children's Hospital of Philadelphia**.

EPOV

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
_

I was such a fucking idiot! All I had to do was tell Bella about Kate…why didn't I? Because I am fucking idiot. A confused one at that. As much as I know in my heart that Bella is my other half, there is a great deal working against us, and I didn't think we could work against it, I could work against it. So, I entertained the idea of being with Kate, yeah I know; Ridiculous. It was weak. It was the easy road. It was safe. Bella was worth fighting for, and I realized that too late. That epiphany came once I broke her.

Was it really going to be so difficult to be with her if I got accepted into CHOP's program? No. I was scared of what if I didn't.

After what Jasper told me, I knew a long distance relationship was something Bella would have a hard time with, and honestly, I don't know if she would ever be ready to accept one.

"E?" I heard Kate say, pulling me from my thoughts. She had been coming over several times a week and hanging out with Emma and me.

"What's up?" I asked her from my dazed state.

"You seem out of it…want to talk about it?"

I guess I could talk to her about it. Why the hell not? It's not as if I could talk to my family about Bella.

"Remember that girl I was telling you about?"

"Bella? How could I forget it's all Emma talks about." Kate said, and I wasn't sure if she sounded mad about it or indifferent.

"She won't return my calls. She is mad I didn't tell her you were back…and, I guess she got information about you wanting more than a friendship with me, and I didn't exactly turn you down," I looked at Kate who had been slouched back on the couch and twirling her hair while listening to me, but when I said I didn't turn her down she straightened out a bit.

"But you don't want me…not even half as much as you want her, right?" She asked quietly. I didn't want to tell her that. I wasn't one for making others feel bad about themselves. The hesitation was evident, the air was thick around us. "It's okay Edward. I'm a big girl; you don't have to even say it. I can see it. You ought to have I love Belwa tattooed across your forehead. I have no desire to be the girl you settle for."

"I'm sorry Kate."

"Don't be. I'm the idiot that waited so long to get my shit together. She will come around. Your Edward 'Freaking' Cullen. "

"Like that means shit." I told her laughing a little.

"It does…trust me."

Emma came bouncing in the room and right on my lap. I couldn't help but kiss her a few times and tickle her sides, I laid one last kiss on her cheek before she settled into me. Her thumb went immediately to her mouth, and she began to twirl her hair with her other hand.

"How long has she done that?" Kate asked referring to Emma's hair twirling.

"As long as her hair has been long enough," I told her.

Emma's eyes were getting heavy and I knew it was only a matter of minutes before she was going to be fast asleep.

"Can I put her to bed?" Kate asked, I didn't see any problem with it, so I shrugged.

"I don't see why not," I kissed Emma's head and began to pass her off to Kate.

"NO!" Emma screamed, "I want my daddy!"

Kate still tried to take her from me even though Emma clung to me for dear life, "Em, it's okay," she tried to soothe, "Ma-"

"Do NOT say that word," I warned her tensely, abruptly cutting her off. "Don't worry princess, daddy will put you to bed, Say goodnight to Kate," I said standing up and heading towards Emma's bedroom. I read Emma a bedtime story and kissed her goodnight. "I wove you daddy," she told me sweetly when I flicked on her night light.

"Wove you too, baby girl. Sweet dreams." I told her with a smile. I exited her room leaving the door ajar.

I went to the kitchen to find Kate, crying. "I want to tell her Edward! When can I tell her? It breaks my heart!" Kate cried to me.

"When I am certain you won't break _**HER**_ heart, and I don't know when they will be…but I need to know you are going to stick around for more than two weeks!"

"Please, Edward! You won't even let me be alone with her! You are never going to be certain of me! You are never going to give me the benefit of the doubt! What do I have to do? Cause I am trying! I am here as much as you will allow me, I would do anything for her." Kate finished, wiping the tears from her face.

"Your right," I said flatly. "Because that little girl _IS_ my life! And I not you, have been the one doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for her the past three years? NO! I have been! Not you. I don't know how one proves being a good parent, but it certainly takes more than a week or two! You do this my way or no way."

"Can I at least babysit or take her somewhere…?" Kate asked defeated.

"I don't know Kate, I'll think about it."

As soon as Kate left, I called Bella. No answer. I sent her a text, _The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. _It was a quote my dad always said to me, and to be honest, I could only do so much to get through to Bella. I knew if she just talked to me, I could start to put her back together. I couldn't do it alone though, she needed to meet me halfway.

It was my way of telling her the ball was in her quart.

BPOV

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning_

Pick up the phone, Bella. Call him back. Talk to him. Why can't I do it? I can do it. I reached for the phone and began to dial the number; I hit the last number before my finger hovered over the green send button. I can't do it. I used my index finger quickly on the red end button ultimately clearing the phone of Edwards's phone number. I toss the phone harshly onto my bed in frustration.

Why can't I meet him halfway? He asked me to, he wants me to call him!

It's been two weeks and two days since I last talked to Edward. I have been a mess. I have spent most of my nights drunks, taking the shots that were bought for me instead of pouring them out like as usual.

I wanted to move on, push Edward out of my mind, push the words Jake said about him using me out of my head. I was reminded of him everywhere I looked, everywhere I went.

Alice dragged me out shopping for Christmas. I couldn't help but get the iCarly Barbie doll for Emma. Alice said she would make sure Emma got it when she and Jasper went to Forks for Christmas. I wasn't going to get it for her, but I remembered what I told Edward, I would never let Emma think we weren't friends no matter how me and Edward ended up in our relationship.

What were me and Edward? I was never his girlfriend, yet never just his friend. The whole relationship screamed, "Break my heart," I should have known better! Because now, we were nothing, and I was left with a broken heart.

"Bella?" I heard Jasper say quietly, I turned to see him standing in my door, "Can we talk?"

"Sure, come on in," I said motioning for him to sit on my bed.

"You've been pretty out of it since you ended things with Jake…wanna talk about it?" Jasper asked me quietly.

"Not really," I told him honestly. "Jake isn't why I am upset if you can even call it that…I'm more like…numb."

"What happened?" Jasper asked.

"I met someone…who I thought was like 'the one', and it obviously I was wrong, and now I can't even bring myself to talk to him." I told Jasper being as vague as possible.

"huh…what makes you think you were wrong?"

"Umm…I don't know…he kept some pretty huge information from me about one of his past relationships…and uh, I found out he kinda gave her hope, to you know, get back together."

"And, you want him right?"

"More than anything," I was surprised at how fast those words came out of my mouth, how brutally honest they were.

"Then fight for him. He didn't tell you he was going to be with her, did he? Or tell you he only wanted to be your friend? Because if not, maybe he wants to make sure you are fighting for him…as much as he could be fighting for you."

"Fighting for me?" I questioned Jasper, I almost wondered if he knew.

"Yes, Bella. I see how often that phone of yours rings. How often you ignore it, send it straight to voicemail, I only assume it's 'the one'."

"So, I fight. And what if I get hurt?" I asked him

"Nothing you gain that is worth a damn will come to you easily; you have to take risks to get the rewards."

"I might be too broken to try and fight for it right now," I told him.

"You'll find the strength that is _**IF**_ he _**IS **_indeed, 'the one'." Jasper kissed my forehead and stood, "And I think he is," Jasper added before leaving my room.

You can do this. You can call him. You can fight. You can meet him halfway.

I picked up my phone, dialed the familiar numbers and instead of quickly hitting the red end button for the tenth time, I hit the green one. I took in a sharp intake of breath as I heard the first of five ring tones.

"Hello!" A cheery, out of breath female answered.

"Um, is Edward available," I asked as a bit more of my heart broke. I knew it was her. Kate.

"Can I tell him who is calling?"

"It's ah, Bella."

"Sure, thing Bella, just let me get him." I heard her move about, and say, "Hey, E, it's Bella for you,"

"Bella?" I heard him say quickly before I heard him excuse himself from his company.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called…I just wanted to say how silly I was acting…I…um…you don't owe me any explanations or whatever," I told him nervously.

"Bella, please I owe you a lot more than an explanation. I don't know why I didn't tell you that night, that she was back…" Edward began before I interrupted him.

"Edward, stop. It's not like we were together, I mean, it's not my business if you want to get back with your ex, I mean we can still be friends if you want." Friends? What happened to fighting? I asked myself, but it was obvious I already lost the fight.

"Friends?" The word rolled off his tongue in distaste. "What if I want more from you?" He asked.

"Edward…I don't have the trust in you or myself built up for a long distance relationship…I tried that once and ended up hurt. More than hurt, my heart was broken in two million pieces. "

"Give me the chance to help you put it back together?"

"What about Kate?"

"What about her? Who wants to be the consolation prize? She doesn't want me just because you won't have me. "

"So you are not seeing her?" I asked him.

"Um, we talked about it, I told her about you…and she said that, she just wants a chance to be with Emma. I am trying to give that to her, what I want to do for you though…is so much more. Please let me. Let me be your friend, gain your trust." Edward pleaded with me.

"Friends?" I said surprised, quirking my eyebrow, as if he could see me.

"For now. We have to start somewhere, friends seems like an as good of a place as any."

"I can handle that," I said confidently.

"What are your plans for the Holiday?" Edward asked me out of left field, I guess going for the friendly conversation.

"I don't really celebrate Christmas," I told him honestly. Christmas time held so many horrible memories for me. It was around that time three years ago I had my abortion. It was Christmas Eve that I found out about Mike and Jessica. I really didn't feel like celebrating the…fuck, I won't even say it. I can't even bring myself to think it. So ironic, most of the world celebrated a birth, and I mourned…a death.

"Religious reasons?" Edward asked.

"No, personal demons," I told him flatly.

"We _ARE_ friends…want to talk about it?"

"No, not at all."

"What would it take to get you to come with Alice and Jasper?"

"A lot," I told him with a small laugh. I was getting good at pushing my demons away.

"How about the certainty of amazing sex?" Edward asked me all cocky.

"With who? Emmett? He's married. I don't think it would work," I joked with him.

"Uh…no how about with _ME_?" He half asked half stated.

"OH you?" I continued to joke. "Come on, you're my friend, I don't think there is that much sexual chemistry between us, I just don't see it happening buddy," I said sarcastically.

"All joking aside, I want you to come. Please? I promise to be on my best friendliest behavior. "

"I don't know Edward. I don't really think I could afford a plane ticket on such short notice," I told him wearily.

"Ah ha! That wasn't a 'no'!" Edward exclaimed. I couldn't help but smile. "Don't make me beg, it's not pretty. Meet me halfway…start to let go of whatever past Christmas ghosts that are haunting you, let me help do that for you, give you some good – no not good – GREAT memories on Christmas, starting this year. I can't stand the thought of you being alone and unhappy over whatever happened in your past. Plus, I can buy your plane ticket."

"NO! No way!" I quickly shouted at him.

"Bella, please don't argue with me. It helps my frequent flyer miles, as a matter of fact, I'm here on my computer, I found a great deal, really, I am going ahead and getting it for you."

"I will pay you back," I told him.

"IF I let you."

"And Friendliest behavior?" I asked a bit relieved and disappointed. If I did this, Edward and I needed to focus on building an actual relationship.

"Scouts honor."

"Fine," I relented with a sigh. Another holiday with the Cullen's, I could do this. Alice and Jasper were only going the twenty-third through the twenty-sixth, and then Edward would be here for New Years.

"Emma is going to be so excited!" Edward said over his victory.

"What about her dad?" I flirted with him.

"Her dad? He is over the moon about it."

I felt like saying, "I love you," it felt so wrong, yet it felt so right. It couldn't be both, so I held my tongue.

EPOV

Christmas Eve

I anxiously pulled into my parents long tree lined driveway, I couldn't wait to see Bella. Alice, Jasper, and Bella all arrived in Forks last night. I only had tonight and tomorrow available to stay, I had to be back at work for a seven to seven shift Christmas day. I was lucky to get off Christmas Eve, and if I wanted off New Years, I had to do it; and I wanted nothing more than to be able to spend New Year's Eve with Bella.

We talked every day before I saw her. She talked to Emma, and Emma may have been more excited to see her than I was.

Though our conversations have been strictly platonic, I enjoyed every second of them. I was thankful Bella was allowing me to build a friendship between us. We couldn't help but to get flirty with each other sometimes, I almost felt like I was a teenager again. I knew Bella was the one now. I knew she had a lot of shit to straighten out and that I needed to be supportive of her. If I wanted her in my life, I needed to make sure I did everything I could to make sure she could feel safe with me again.

I felt like a piece of shit. I was talking to Bella a few days ago and she told me why she felt so hurt by me. She told me when she was with me, she felt safe, at home. Then I go and ruin it. I have every intention of giving her a great Christmas and build her trust back, make her feel safe and at home with me.

She begged me not to get her anything, and _I_ technically didn't get her anything. Emma did. The plane ticket was a bit of a swing, I don't have a lot of money. What I have is one credit card, for emergencies, and getting Bella here for Christmas and making up for my asinine behavior, and that was important enough to break out the emergency card.

Snow had fallen, Emma was excited to play in it. As I got out of the car, I inhaled the clean air, and felt the snow crunch beneath my sneakers. Emmett always makes fun of me for these black Nike's I don't give a shit though, I love them. He is bias, because he is the face of Addidas.

"Come on princess," I said to Emma as I helped her out of the car.

"Belwa is here, wight?" Emma asked me as she grasped my hand and we began walking to the door.

"She sure is," I responded looking down at her with a big smile.

I opened the door, "Hello," I said to announce our arrival. I began to take off Emma's jacket when Alice, Bella, and Rose approached to say hello.

"Where is my favorite little girl!" Alice asked excitedly. Emma wasn't interested; she didn't even let me take off her jacket before she darted straight for Bella.

"BELWA!!" Emma yelled happily. I watched Bella crouch down as Emma ran into her arms. I watched Bella embraced Emma, her eyes were closed as she held Emma close to her with a beautiful smile.

"Oh! I see how it is! No love for your own aunt!" Alice pouted. Bella released Emma who jumped into Alice's arms. I offered Bella a smile, trying not to show how much I desperately wanted to run to her, pick her up and hold her tightly against me.

Instead, I walked to her slowly and gave her a friendly hug, "Bella, it's nice to see you again,"

"You too Edward," she said. I got a whiff of her peach scent and I was a goner. I buried my head in her hair, inhaling her scent. "God I missed the way you smell, peaches," I whispered in her ear. The hug became more than a friendly hello and I quickly released her, hoping all eyes were on Emma and not on us.

"Friendly," Bella whispered back reminding me that this holiday would have no secret sexy romps in the guest room.

Fuck. She looked beautiful. The skinny jeans she wore only showed off her long lean legs, and sexy little ass. God I ached to have her. It was taking all my self-control not to slap her ass. Shit, my dick was hard again!

_Give it up, it ain't happening. _

"Where are mom and dad?" I asked.

"Mass, they knew we didn't want to go, so they went to an earlier one so they could just stay in with us tonight," Alice informed me with a hug.

I walked to Rose who had Emma, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I was surprised at how well she handled Emma's entrance. Maybe she was beginning to understand that it didn't mean Emma loved her less, just that Emma see's her on a daily basis.

"So nice to finally see you minus the c-r-a-c-k head," Rose was so nice to start spelling out the word crack in front of Emma.

"Thanks Rose, where's Emmett?" I asked looking around for him.

"He is passed out upstairs. He is exhausted." Rose held Emma in her arms until she squirmed to be released. As soon as her feet hit the floor she was grabbing onto Bella's leg, itching to go play with her.

My god, how I wanted to run to Bella and hold her like Emma.

All afternoon I stool glances and touches from Bella. I got as close to her as possible, hardly ever letting her out of my sight. Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard; Emma wouldn't leave her side.

It was a Christmas tradition to trim the tree every Christmas Eve, Emma loved it. She was excited because she made the ornament we brought this year for the tree.

Bella, Alice, Rose, and Jasper were all in the kitchen helping my mom with dinner, I couldn't help but over hear everytime Bella spoke. I liked to tease Jasper about always being with the ladies, but not too much, cause he was a damn good chef, and I wanted to keep eating what he made.

"Esme, I really appreciate you having me here for the holidays."

"Don't be silly, it's our pleasure to have you! You are like family to us. I'm so glad you could make it on such short notice."

"I know, thank God Ed-I found a good deal," Bella stumbled over the words. I wasn't sure if my dad ever told my mom about Bella and I that weekend he caught us. It seemed like 'need to know' information, I just wasn't sure if my dad viewed that as something my mom needed to know.

I walked slowly back to the living room. Emmett loved to make us watch _A Christmas Story_ marathon all day. There is only so much pole licking a man can take.

"Edward," I turned to see my mom approaching me, "Can I have a word with you?" She asked leading me to a semi-private nook off the living room.

"Did you buy Bella her plane ticket?" She asked, I wasn't sure how she felt about it, but it's pointless to lie to her.

"I did, I didn't want her to be alone for Christmas," I said chugging back a sip of my beer.

"You don't have that kind of money; you should have come to your father and me! It was very kind of you to do that," she said before I cut her off.

"She wouldn't have even entertained the thought of you and dad buying it for her, please. I may not have a lot of expendable cash, but _I_ wanted to do it for her."

"Be careful with her Edward, she is still so young. I'm afraid she may not be ready for what you and Emma require."

"I appreciate everything, really. We are just friends right now." I hated saying that, I hated that the word friends was a necessary step for us now, because I fucked up.

By the time dinner was finsished I was afraid Emma may have eaten her own thumb. She was really testing my patience. Throwing tantrums about being 'hungee.'

"Em, baby, I _KNOW _you are hungee, dinner is almost done, please calm down," I pleaded with her as she clutched to my leg for dear life, wailing for food. I closed my eyes in frustration, exhaling loudly.

"Emma Antonia Cullen," I said raising my voice slightly when her crocodile cries grew louder and more desperate.

"Antonia?" Bella said as she came down to Emma's level , Emma sniffled frowned at Bella. "I love that name. I was going to name my baby that if she was a girl," I cringed slightly. I knew Bella didn't mean to say that. Emma stopped crying, and went to Bella for a hug. I chose to ignore her comment, and prayed no one else would notice it either.

"Come with me love bug," Bella said holding her hand out to her. "I know the chef, and I bet I can get something good for you to munch on until it's ready, if that is okay with your daddy," Bella said looking at me.

"If she isn't whining, she can have whatever she wants," I told her at the end of my rope. "Thanks Bella."

"It's my pleasure," she told me with a smile. I watched her retreat with Emma into the kitchen.

Dinner was uneventful; Emma started to get a little anxious about decorating the tree. This year Emma had an ornament that she made out of dried pasta at school.

I was making my way out of the dining room as Bella was making her way into the dining room after dinner, I couldn't help but make contact with her. Her steps faltered, mine slowed. We were almost at a standstill.

"Daddy! You have to kiss Belwa!" Emma exclaimed. Ever since Alice explained what the mistletoe that was hanging in the archway to the dining room, Emma had been chomping at the bit for someone to get caught under it. I smirked at Bella, wanting nothing more than to taste her sweet lips.

"Oh Snap!" Emmett chimed in. "Eddies gonna get some lip action…hey dude take what you can get!" He said patting my shoulder.

Bella looked down in an attempt to hide her red cheeks. "We don't have to," I told her.

"No…we don't want to disappoint Emma," she said looking up at me. I could see she was nervously chewing on the inside of her lip. I gently brought my thumb to her chin and released the inside of her lips from the death grip her teeth had on them. I held her chin steadily as I brought my lips to hers.

I thought I would be slick and let my tongue dart out for a quick taste, what I didn't expect was the moan that also escaped with my tongue. I heard Emmett begin his annoying cat calling before backing up quickly. Bella stepped back quickly, cheeks aflame.

Bella walked past me quickly, obviously a bit embarrassed.

"Dude, she would so let you fuck her," Emmett whispered to me.

"That's messed up, don't talk about her like that."

"Yeah, it is kinda messed up, she's like our baby sister, guess this is just one more celibate Christmas's for you."

"Thanks for the reminder," I said annoyed.

"Hey, I got the perfect New Year's resolution for you; get laid more." Emmett patted my back before walking past me.

"Come on Emma, time to decorate the tree," I said reaching my hand out for her to take.

I remembered Bella's drink of choice, but asked her just in case it changed. I remember what it was like to be nineteen and in college, drinking all the time. Once you got sick from drinking a certain drink all night you never wanted to drink it again. So I asked her earlier in the week, what her drink of choice was. Thank god it changed, Grape Vodka and seven. I made it quickly before I took Emma into the living room to decorate.

Bella was sitting on the couch with Jasper, and I walked to her and handed her the drink. "Grape right?" I asked just to make sure.

"Right," she said taking the glass from me. "Thanks Edward." I shrugged as I took the spot to the other side of her.

"Can I come see you tonight?" I whispered to her, trying not to look directly at her.

"Friendliest behavior," she whispered back tensely.

"It will be nothing but friendly, I promise Bella, and I don't break my promises." I told her making sure I made eye contact with her.

"Okay," she relented.

Emmett helped Emma place her ornament on the tree first; but that wasn't enough for Emma. She wanted to hang more.

Bella offered the one she brought. It was hand painted with the Cullen crest on it.

"Bella that is beautiful thank you so much!" My mom said to her as Bella stood to hug her.

"It's the least I can do for having me," she said. Bella and I sat next to each other the rest of the night. Occasionally I would find my hand resting on her knee, and move it quickly hoping no one had noticed. It was just so comfortable with Bella.

Once the tree was trimmed, I brought Emma up for bed. "Come on baby, say goodnight, Santa's coming," I told her.

"NO! Emma not want to sweep!"

_Oh no, here we go…again_.

"Em, Santa isn't going to come if you're not asleep, you want your presents don't you?" I asked her.

"Not tired!" She yelled at me.

"Hey love bug, I'm heading up to bed now, wanna come with me?" Bella asked,

_Bella to the rescue…again. _

"Ah, huh!" Emma said happily,

Bella got Emma to bed successfully. With a few laughs, a few whispers, some kisses and hugs, and three of Emma's favorite books.

I sat in the guest room waiting for Bella. I was nervous to give her the gift I got her.

She walked in quietly and slowly made her way to the center of the bed. I handed her the wrapped present and she looked at me disapprovingly. "I told you not to get me anything!"

"I know, but this is more from Emma, and you never included her." I told her as she pulled the red bow open.

I watched her flip through the pages of the photo album, at the end, a picture of everyone from Thanksgiving. Emma in Bella's arms. Me on the other side of them. I watched a tear slither down her face. She hastily wiped it away.

"It's beautiful," she said. "Thank you, I didn't get you anything," she said shaking her head.

"Stop, you being here is what I wanted." I showed her some of the pictures I put in of Emma and me. Emma named one of her babies 'Belwa" I explained showing her how Emma made me trudge the doll everywhere with us.

We began to life, and she rested her head on my shoulder. "This is the best Christmas in a long time…maybe ever." She said looking up at me. I pushed some of her hair back and kissed her forehead.

"Good," I told her.

Bella sat up straighter. "Screw friendly," she whispered. Her lips were inches from mine, they were mine for the taking. She kissed me hard, threading her fingers in my hair gripping it tightly in her fingers. I put my hands on her upper arms and pushed her away painfully.

"Friends for now. I'm not going anywhere. Don't doubt that. Let's not screw this up, do this right." I told her. "Friends first," I reminded her.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't apologize, there is no need."

"Don't go…just hold me," she asked

There was no way I could deny her. "This is the best Christmas gift ever," she said as I climbed in bed with her.

**Please Review!! I will TRY to send teasers! It might not be right away, but I will try my best!! **


	8. Chapter 8

**SM Owns not I.**

**Thanks to Sweet Dulcinea for taking the time to beta this for me today while Keepingupwiththekids is under the weather. Means a lot! Much love to her with her pointers on the lemons! Read her shit its fantabulous! **

**So sorry it took so long to get out to you guys! This story is a collab and takes a bit more time to come together, but we are going to try to update more regularly! **

**8**

BPOV

I opened my eyes and found myself staring into big emerald eyes. A tiny hand darted up and started stroking my hair as the little body moved closer, snuggling against me. I wrapped my arm around Emma and played with her hair while butterflies began their dance in my stomach.

"Daddy's coming today," I whispered.

Emma pulled back so she could look at my face, "Reawy, Belwa?"

"Yes bug, he is. But first we need to get dressed so we can meet Grandma and Grandpa for breakfast."

Emma jumped up with a squeal and started clapping and dancing on the bed. I joined her, and we both fell backwards in a fit of giggles.

These last couple of days with Emma had been amazing. Edward had to work double shifts at the hospital to trade enough time off to come to Philly for three days and nights. Esme and Carlisle flew out a few days after Christmas with Emma. Rosalie and Emmett had arrived yesterday.

They were all staying in a suite at Rittenhouse Square, and Alice, Jasper, and I had been entertaining them. Last night, they had a charity dinner thrown by old family friends, and I volunteered to keep Emma. When she learned it was going to be a sleepover, she was over the moon.

Honestly, I think I had more fun than she had. We made a homemade pizza for dinner, painted our nails, popped popcorn, and watched _Shrek. _I actually managed to avoid _iCarly _for the whole evening. Waking up with Emma in my arms was nothing short of amazing. Emma was always so affectionate. It was so refreshing to have her blunt honesty. She was seeing a lot of things for the first time, and loved for the pure sake of loving. There was no hidden agenda or games to earning Emma's love and affection. She gave it freely.

"Belwa, come on! I watch _iCarly_, you shower."

I smiled and kissed Emma on the head, turned on the TV, and hopped in the shower. Thoughts of Edward danced behind my eyelids as I let the water cascade over my body.

Today…today was the day I was most waiting for. Edward was going to be in Philly after lunch. He took the earliest flight he could this morning. When he gets in he will spend a few hours in the afternoon with Emma at the hotel and then Alice and I will join everyone just before dinner. I couldn't wait to see him.

After the lovely Christmas he gave me, as friends only, I planned on this trip being different. I was ready to tell him that I wanted to try to make things work long-distance between us. That I wanted a committed relationship. I still had pangs of jealousy over Kate, but between his reassurances and hearing how Emma speaks of their time with Kate, I felt sure there was nothing between them.

We spoke everyday. If he said he would call me at seven, he called me at seven. I trusted him.

It felt odd to be so sure of another person. Since Mike, I hadn't trusted anyone until I met Alice. Then Jasper. Now Edward. I can actually add all the Cullen's to that list. When I am with them I feel safe and at home.

I wanted to tell Edward about my past. It was so hard to even think the word abortion, let alone try to muster up the courage to say it aloud. I just wasn't sure how accepting he would be about it. He fought for Emma's life, while I easily ended my baby's.

Just thinking those words made my stomach flip upside down. I felt physically sick over it. For three years, I fought to justify that decision, and with each passing day, no justification came. Only more anger, more regret, and more sadness over my hasty choice.

I felt as if Emma gave me a chance to redeem myself. She was like a beacon of light.

I could hear Emma talking to the TV as I toweled my hair dry.

Tonight was the New Year's Eve party at Jasper's restaurant. He was being featured as a guest chef and all of the Cullen's would be in attendance. Little did Alice know that everyone had come out because Jasper was going to ask her to marry him tonight. Esme took all of us girls shopping yesterday to buy new dresses for the New Years Eve party. We had a great deal of fun keeping Jasper's secret and helping Alice pick out the dress she would be wearing as the center of attention.

Interestingly, we all ended up with a different color dress. Alice had chosen a beautiful off-white gown with a scoop neck. Rosalie finally settled on a purple off-the-shoulder number that really complimented her curves. Esme would look elegant in her simple red gown that brought out her youthful looks and vibrant artist aura. We even got a green velvet dress with a sash for Emma to wear.

As for me, the Cullen women cajoled me into bringing home a dark blue dress that sparkled in the light. It had a deep V in the back and fell to mid-calf. They made me get these ridiculously high strappy rhinestone heels. I hoped I wouldn't fall over in them and make a fool out of myself.

"Look at me Belwa!"

I turned to see that Emma had dressed herself. "Doodle bug, your shoes are on the wrong feet."

"Oh!" Emma exclaimed as she sat down to reverse her mini Converse.

"Okay, Belwa, put on clothes! I'm hungwe"

"You got it. Why don't you see if Aunt Alice and Jasper are ready to go while I changed?"

"Aunt Allyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," I heard her screaming as I disappeared into my closet.

EPOV

I'd had such a wonderful afternoon with Emma. She told me everything she had done with Alice, Jasper, Bella, Mom, and Dad. Her favorite part so far had been the sleepover with Bella. I was jealous; that sounded like the best part to me, too."

We were all dressed and waiting for Alice and Bella to meet us at the suite. Emma looked adorable in her green dress. I was bending down fixing Emma's bow when I heard the door open and Emma squealed, "Belwa!!!! Aunt Ally!!!"

I turned and looked at them, but my gaze did not linger on Alice. All I saw was Bella in a magnificent deep blue dress that emphasized her alabaster skin and velvety brown eyes. When she turned to close the door, I sucked in my breath because the dress was cut into a deep V in the back. Her shoulder blades and back were bare except for the pony tail of hair that fell straight below the knot that she had made with it at the base of her neck.

My eyes continued lower, taking in the dress falling at her calves and the delicate heels that held her perfectly manicured toes. I moved my eyes back up her body, and when my eyes met hers an electric charge ran through me. I don't know how everyone in the room didn't feel the draw we had to each other at that moment. She smiled through lowered lids, and I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and ravish her on the spot.

"Daddy, doesn't Aunt Ally look like a princess?"

Emma broke the spell Bella had on me and I turned to look at Alice.

"Alice, you do look like a princess in that dress. You couldn't be outdone by all the other beautiful women in the room could you?"

"Big brother you know me so well! Besides, it's Jasper's big night and I am his leading lady. I have to look good for my man."

"I guess you do, don't you?" I asked, giving her a hug. I stepped away before turning slowly toward Bella, trying to keep the attraction I felt to her as low key as I could possibly manage.

"Bella, you look stunning," I whispered, hugging her close to me. As I let go of her warm body, I let my hand slide down her arm and held her hand for a brief second before I had to let go.

"Thanks, so do you," Bella smiled at me shyly.

"Thanks for watching Emma today; she had a blast." I told her.

"It was my pleasure."

BPOV

Edward held the door open for me and Emma as we walked into the trendy restaurant. Alice hugged the hostess hello before she led us to a large table.

I wasn't looking ahead of me when I slammed into a familiar chest.

"_Jake_?" I asked shocked to run into him here.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" He asked like we were old friends that had lost touch; his beautiful wife was draped on his arm.

"Jake? As in 'the Jake'?" Alice said moving closer. She didn't give either of us a chance to confirm or deny the fact. "I heard so much about you…some good…most not," she said defensively.

I cleared my throat, trying to get Alice to back off. I really didn't want the shit to hit the fan. I really didn't want the shit to hit the fan on Jasper and Alice's big night, especially right in front of Edward. "Jake, this is my roommate Alice and her family," I said motioning toward the Cullens.

"I'm Edward; it's nice to meet you," Edward said, extending his hand toward Jake's.

"Edward, huh? Sounds familiar, but you are just a friend of Bella's correct?" Jake asked, reminding me of his theories about Edwards true feelings towards me.

"Correct," Edward told him, and it wasn't a lie. I just wanted more. I knew Jake was trying to rub in my face that I dumped him for someone who was still just a friend. He was trying to make me feel insecure and weak, but I wasn't going to let him. I stood tall and smiled at him, not showing any waver in my emotional state.

"It's nice to meet you all. If you will excuse us, my wife and I were just heading to the bar," Jake wickedly smiled at me, revealing the one fact about our relationship I had kept from Alice. Plus, I wasn't proud of having an affair with a married man, and it's not exactly what I wanted Esme and Carlisle to know about me.

That and the dreadful sin I committed three years ago were skeletons I wanted to die with.

"Wife?" Alice asked stunned.

"Alice, please, not now," I whispered wishing I could vanish into thin air. I could feel tears brimming my eyes, but Jake didn't bother to hang around. He took Leah and walked swiftly away.

I followed Jakes' lead and walked forward myself, away from the drama and embarrassment of the situation and took a seat at the large table reserved for us.

I heard Emma's feet padding against the floor behind me, so I turned to see her running to catch up with me, and I smiled at her as she took the seat next to me.

Edward pulled out the chair next to Emma, telling her not to run in the restaurant.

"Are you okay?" he asked me quietly after he settled in his seat. I gave him a forced smile and nodded yes, diverting my gaze to the napkin in front of me.

Jasper came out and said hello as we were eating, unable to take more than five minutes from the kitchen to sit with us. It was a big night, and Alice didn't show her disappointment, only how happy she was for him.

He kissed her sweetly on the side of her head and promised to see her by the bar in time to ring in the new year. I was happy that was a lie, that she would be seeing him sooner than that.

Alice impatiently waited for her desert to come, not understanding what was taking so long. "I am going to go back there and talk to Jasper. I can't believe it takes over thirty minutes to bring out a slice of cheesecake, for Christ's sake!" Alice huffed. She began to push out of her seat, but Edward darted his hand to her to stop her as we noticed Jasper walking toward our table.

"Here he comes Ally. No need to go in the back," Edward laughed even though Alice was already on her feet.

"Jasper, can you believe I have been waiting over thirty minutes for a slice of cheesecake! What the hell did they have to do? Pick the strawberries?" Alice complained to him.

"I'm sorry; it's my fault," Jasper told her as he took her hands in his. "I..ah…" Jasper stumbled as a smile spread across everyone's face as we knew what he was about to do. Jasper took off his white apron and placed it on the back of Alice's chair before he dropped to one knee, holding Alice's hand in his.

"Alice, I love you. I want you to be the first person I see everyday and the last person I see before I fall asleep for the rest of my life," Jasper said, pulling open the velvet box. Alice moved her hand to her face, stunned as Jasper continued to speak from his heart. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he finished, grinning ear to ear.

"God! I don't know what to say!" Alice cried out.

"Yes is a good thing to say," Jasper suggested.

"Yes! Oh god! Yes! Of course!" Alice exclaimed as Jasper stood and picked up her petite body. Alice slipped on the diamond ring as her eyes focused in awe between the ring and Jasper.

We all congratulated them. Edward and Emmett welcomed Jasper to the family, obviously excited about the brother they were gaining.

Despite my excitement for my best friend, I felt distracted the entire night by the unresolved tension between Edward and me. I wanted him, and I knew he wanted me, but he didn't have all the information about my past that he needed to make that decision. I was afraid I might be too damaged for him, that the choice I made three years ago would be a deal breaker. If it was, I wouldn't be surprised. I deserved to pay for that mistake.

Everytime we touched it ignited me. It made me feel alive. Emma moved to sit with Rose while everyone mingled or danced. Edward slid over into her seat and placed his palm on the small of my bare back.

He looked so beautiful…it almost hurt to look at him. He wore a tan suite with a black button up underneath. His hair was perfectly messed up. Tonight, his eyes seemed to have a hint more of blue in the normally piercing green. His scruff was the perfect length. He was devastating. I didn't fail to notice the way heads turned when he walked in a room. Or the way the waitress paid him extra attention. I needed to feel him, even if it would be the last time.

I sucked down my fourth drink before I made my move. "Meet me by the bathrooms in two minutes," I whispered in his ear standing up. I needed the sensation of him before I told him the skeletons in my dark dreary closet. Then, at least if he was disgusted by it and wanted nothing more to do with me, I had one last feel of him to comfort me.

EPOV

I wasn't sure how long Bella and I could steal touches and glances without anyone noticing or without attacking each other. I wanted her. Badly. It was one more hour until midnight. My mom and dad were going to take Emma back to the hotel after the ball dropped. I thanked them for taking her, as it wasn't often that I got to stay out and drink without a lot of thought. One hour to go, and I could take off my dad hat for the evening.

"Meet me by the bathrooms in two minutes," Bella whispered in my ear.

I turned and raised an eyebrow at her as she sauntered off, giving an extra waggle of her ass.

I made my way through the crowd to the bathroom as soon as I asked Rose to keep a closer eye on Emma.

I saw Bella standing outside the bathroom door waiting for me with a sexy smile.

I noticed immediately that the bathroom door was see through.

"You want to put on a show? What kind of place is this?" I asked kissing her neck.

"I never needed anyone more than I need you right now," Bella said desperately. I reached behind her and opened the bathroom door. I looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to us before I walked her backwards into the bathroom.

I kicked the door shut as she captured my neck between her teeth, biting down roughly. I felt her hand fumble behind me as she locked the door.

"See, not see through silly," she said nibbling on my ear and unbuckling my belt.

I turned back to see that the door had fogged up once the lock was engaged. I pressed my hardness against her stomach as my hands roamed down her sexy back.

Surprisingly, there was a decent amount of counter space to the left of the sink. On it sat a basket filled with toiletries, which I pushed off the counter hastily. I let my hands hit her ass and squeezed it before I lifted her up on the empty counter. My hands traveled up her legs until I reached her thighs where I felt her thigh highs ended. I moaned into her neck as I traced my fingers along the stockings to her inner thigh. I pushed her underwear to the side and felt the slickness between her legs.

"Kiss me Edward," Bella practically begged. Her hand wrap around my hardness, sending waves of pleasure through my body. My eyes met hers, and her gaze penetrated me as if it be the last time I would ever kiss her. I cupped her face in my hands and brought my mouth slowly to hers as she guided my cock towards her entrance.

Bella wrapped her legs around my waist as I entered her. Instant gratification as I moved inside her hot center. I hissed into her mouth. Bella's hands weaved into my hair as my hips moved in and out of her warmth. I brought her body as close to mine as possible as her mouth moved in perfect harmony with mine.

The feel of her wet lips as they nibbled and sucked on my bottom lip made me remember how much I missed the way she felt. As soon as she finished I darted my tongue out and traced her lip with it gently.

I pushed her back slightly, signaling for her lean back on her elbows. I lifted her leg up and rested it on my shoulder, moving my hand along her outer leg slowly before I reached her hip and scooted her ass closer to the edge of the counter. My dick continued to move in and out of her welcoming pussy.

I couldn't focus on anything except her gaze as I moved inside of her. Bella's eyes squeezed shut as I watched her orgasm, Her walls began to clench around my cock. I moved a few more times before I let myself explode inside her.

I held her close for a minute before I helped her fix her stockings and make sure her dress was okay.

"I want to walk back out with you, holding your hand…I don't want hide this. I don't care if everyone knows." I told her, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"There is something you should know about me Edward, before you tell me anything else, or get my hopes up…cause once I tell you…you may not feel the same way about me," Bella told me, breaking eye contact and stuttering her thoughts nervously.

"Nothing you could say would make me want you less." I told her.

"I hope so…let's go talk," Bella said unlocking the door, the fog disappearing from the glass. We walked out as if it were normal for us to be in there together.

Bella led me to a quite corner in the front of the restaurant after she ordered another drink. I watched her gulp down a few sips as she sat on the plush loveseat that was in the lobby for people waiting for tables.

I sat down next to her and just waited for her to talk. She was silent for a few moments before she began to speak.

"When I was sixteen, I…uh…found out I was pregnant. I had just moved from Philly to Phoenix, and was doing the long distance thing with the father. I didn't know what to do…and he said he wanted nothing to do with it, or me…unless I took care of it…I stupidly agreed." Bella said, drinking the last of her Cosmo. The ice made a clanking sound as she brought the glass away from her lips. "I understand if you think I'm an horrible person for doing that. I'm not proud," Bella continued to talk.

"Shhh," I whispered to her. "You were sixteen. I don't think you are horrible," I told her, wiping a tear away from her face.

She looked up at me doe eyed, "I want you Edward. I want to do whatever the hell it takes to be with you, but only if you can accept me and that horrible choice I made…and I just can't start something more with you if you think less of me because of it. I can't get hurt like that again…so just think about it. Because I can't get hurt again," she said as she stood

"Wait! Where are you going?" I asked standing up with her.

"Back to the party…I'll see you in there," she told me walking away. I was shocked, not at her admission, because I knew way more about the situation than she told me. I was shocked that she felt as if that would make me not want her.

She was so sure that she deserved to be hated for that choice, she didn't even give me a chance to tell her it didn't matter. She was afraid I would tell her I couldn't be with her, and she ran away.

I quickly made my way back to her, trying to rush through the crowd of people to find her.

I saw her sitting alone at the table, sucking down another drink. I hadn't been able to take my eyes off her tonight, and I knew that this was her sixth drink already. Maybe a woman her size could handled that many beers, but she was drinking cocktails. Strong cocktails, courtesy of Jasper.

I stopped when I saw how sad she looked. "Where the hell have you been?" Rose asked, handing Emma off to me.

"Sorry Rose," I told her.

"I thought I'd be kissing Emma at midnight instead of Emmett because you were nowhere to be found," Rose said, placing a kiss on Emma's head. "Happy New Year baby," she told Emma before I watched her rush off to Emmett. I glanced at my watch; one minute until two thousand and ten. I looked around the room. Jasper was with Alice, my Mom was with Dad, Emmett and Rose…I even had Emma. Bella…had no one.

I followed her gaze, and my eyes landed on Jake with his wife. I carried Emma quickly to Bella. I extended my free hand to hers. She placed her hand in mine and stood up.

The crowd was counting down. Ten, nine, eight….

"I want you. All of you. I love everything you are, and every choice you've made. It all brought us to this moment, and I love you." I told her.

I pulled her close to me and kissed her, letting her lips and tongue dance with mine. I heard the crowd all explode with noise and laughter, as everyone yelled, "Happy New Year." The lights of the fireworks at Penn's Landing lit up the windows as I refused to let Bella out of my arms.

"Daddy wove Belwa!" Emma clapped, reminding me to keep the kiss as PG as possible.

I looked over at my daughter with a huge smile. "That's right, princess. Daddy woves Bella." I looked back at Bella and I could feel the happiness radiate off of her.

"You love me?" she asked. I nodded. "I love you," she managed to breathe out in return.

Our bubble was burst by Emmett's booming voice. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, patting me on the back. It was in that moment that I realized my entire family just witnessed my declaration of love for Bella.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alice asked furrowing her eyebrows together. "All those secret phone calls…they were with my brother?" She continued to speak, the hurt in her voice growing more evident.

"Ally, it's not like that," I tried to calm her down.

"You…my own brother… Why wouldn't you tell me you were interested in my best friend?" she asked.

"Because Alice! Not everything is your business! Because Bella and I can't tell people about a relationship we couldn't even define! It had nothing to do with keeping it a secret. It had to do with figuring it out on our own."

"Don't be mad, Alice. Please understand…it was all so confusing for us," Bella said.

"I'm not mad…just hurt that my best friend wouldn't tell me she was seeing my brother."

"What was I supposed to say, Alice? Was I supposed to come to you over Thanksgiving break and say, "Your brother is the most beautiful man I have ever seen, and he came to my room last night and we had the most mind blowing sex ever?" I covered Emma's ears, but it was too late. Bella was pretty buzzed, and I was pretty sure her brain to mouth filter was off kilter.

"Sorry," she said covering her mouth. I chuckled; it wasn't the first time Emma heard the word sex, and it wouldn't be the last.

"It's okay," I assured her quietly as Emmett laughed.

"Since Thanksgiving?" Alice gasped. "God, you two wasted no time with getting to know each other!"

"Ally, we aren't going to justify our relationship and the way it started with you or anyone else," I told her, making sure that point was clear to the rest of the family. "Bella and I have been talking…everyday. Building a friendship. Tonight we talked and want to do whatever it takes to be together. Even if that means doing the long distance thing for a little bit. I was going to tell everyone this weekend that I have an interview at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia at the end of January. And that has always been my first choice for programs, but I will take University of Penn, Temple, Jefferson, whatever Philadelphia program will take me if it means being closer to Bella."

"Really? You are going to move here?" Bella asked.

"As soon as we can." I smirked at her. "I would love to be in the same area code as my girlfriend."

"You are just gonna take Emma and move?" Rose asked. "She has a routine in Seattle! You can't just take her!" I knew it be hard on Rose. She saw Emma everyday.

"Rose, Edward has to do what is right, and he was always gonna move if it meant getting into CHOP; you know that." Emmett reminded her. She nodded.

"I know…I just…I'm gonna miss her."

"Rose…you are always welcome to visit," I assured her. "It's not as if I am moving next week. There are still a lot of details to work out. I am still in a program in Seattle, and a lease."

"Well, we are very happy you two found each other," my Mom said. I felt Emma's head rest on my shoulder and noticed she was passed out. "Let me take her," my Mom insisted. "We will take her back to the hotel; you kids have a good night and be safe."

We said good-bye and me and Bella kissed Emma goodnight. I held her hand as we walked to the bar. I ordered her another drink, even though I told her she should slow down. She insisted she was fine, and she made it so hard to say no to her when she kissed me saying please in between pecks.

"Another drink for the lady," I smiled at the bartender.

"Can you come back to my place?" Bella asked, placing her hands on my chest.

"I don't see why not," I said, kissing her. It felt so freeing to be able to kiss her whenever I wanted.

"Good, cause I want you to do lots of naughty things to me."

God, my fucking dick grew hard again.

"Oh yeah…like what?" I questioned her, leaning against her so she could feel my excitement.

"Whatever you want…you can have."

"You really should not have said that," I smirked at her. I took another sip of my drink and was starting to feel drunk myself. Emmett insisted on doing shots with me earlier.

"Why is that?" Bella purred, cupping my dick between us. I let my hand slid down her ass. "Because…what if I wanted this?" I asked, squeezing her ass and breathing heavily in her ear. I put some space between us to see her reaction to my suggestion. I felt the need to be consumed by her. To have her trust me enough to bring her pleasure through pain made me want to have her that way.

Some girls loved it, others hated, but most were just scared of it. Bella's eyes gave nothing away.

"Have you ever done that?" I asked her. Bella slowly shook her head no. "Would you ever do that?" I asked again, darting my tongue out across her lips. "I will be gentle…make it good for you." I told her dragging my tongue down her neck. To be the first, and hopefully only one to ever have her that way, made me ache.

"For you I would," she said, stumbling closer to me.

"Wanna get outta here?" I asked. Bella bite her bottom lip seductively as she nodded yes to me.

We walked along the cobblestone in olde city before I hailed a cab. Bella stumbled over her address a few times before she got it right.

Between all the alcohol, our recent confessions, and what we knew was coming once we got to her apartment, we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. Disregarding the presence of the cabbie, we mauled each other in the back seat, kissing and touching for the entire ride. The cab came to a stop outside of her fish town apartment and I paid the cab driver before helping her out.

We stumbled up the stairs and in the front door before I started undressing her. I removed my jacket, taking in Bella's stunning appearance. She wore nothing but thigh highs, a black thong, and rhinestone heels.

"Leave the shoes on," I ordered her, taking my pants off.

"Or what?" Bella smirked, bending over to slip off her shoes.

"Or I might have to punish you," I said before throwing her over my shoulder and taking her into her bedroom.

She protested and screamed for me to let her down, hitting my back before I plopped her on the bed.

I moved my mouth down her breast, darting my tongue out over her stomach. I didn't go slowly as wanted desperately to taste her center. I adjusted her legs over my shoulders as I began to shifted my tongue and fingers in and out of her center.

Her juices coated my fingers inside her as I focused my tongue on her clit. I moved my finger out and moved my index finger to her ass. I pressed gently on the tight opening, moving it slowly inside. Just the thought that it could be my cock being sucked in tight in that hole almost made me come. I knew how relaxed she was only had to do with the blood alcohol level of her blood.

It wasn't long before I moved my finger in and out freely and added a second finger.

I moved up her body and kissed her mouth, "You okay?" I asked, sliding my dick into her wet pussy. She nodded yes, digging her fingers into my shoulder blades.

I wrapped my arm around her back and began to move my fingers in her tight ass again.

"Ready for more?" I asked.

"Yes," Bella said moving with me.

"Here," I said pulling out, I moved my dick to her other hole and just let it sit between her ass cheeks with very little pressure. I moved her hand down to her clit, "Play with your clit while I move inside you, and just stay relaxed." I told her as she began to circle her clit. I moved slowly inside, inch by inch. I peppered her neck with kisses and licks.

"You feel so good," I told her as I was halfway in. I felt her begin to tense, "You okay?" I asked again. I had stopped advancing to let her get used to the sensation of being filled.

"I'm okay…keep going." She told, me as I helped her circle her clit.

As soon as I was inside her tight hole I just held her close stilling my movements. I slowly moved out and back in, my movements never got fast or hard. It was so tight, I didn't need to.

As I moved in and out Bella squirmed in pleasure, I felt her body shutter as her head extended, and her legs quivered. I was so fucking happy she was enjoying it as much as I was.

I kept moving slowly and playing with her clit. "I love you," I told her over and over again. Her back arched quickly off the bed with a grunt as I felt her clit get slicker and slicker, I knew she was coming, hard.

I couldn't hold back anymore and let myself drop over the edge. I collapsed on top of her while trying to catch my breath.

"I have to go the bathroom," she said pushing me up.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" I asked. I didn't know what was wrong, or why she was in such a rush to get up. I was afraid something was wrong.

"I'm fine," she said almost falling out of bed. I grabbed her arm and helped her to the bathroom, afraid she'd trip over her own feet. "Can you make me another drink?" she asked, standing stark naked in front of me in the bathroom doorway. God, she was so sexy, and she didn't even realize what she was doing to me.

"I don't think you need anymore to drink," I said to her with a chuckle.

"Please," she said giving me a pouty frown.

"I guess," I conceited. No use in arguing with a someone who is drunk. I went back to her bedroom and pulled on my tan slacks and grabbed my button down shirt for Bella.

I headed to her kitchen and searched for their stash of booze and glasses. I only put half a shot in the drink I made her. I was going to bring Bella back my shirt when Jasper and Alice loudly, and very drunkenly, crashed into the apartment.

"Hey," I said.

"Ewww Edward! I don't want to see you half naked after you fucked my best friend!" Alice yelled.

I just laughed. "Sorry," I shrugged at her as she plopped down on the couch. "But she is my girlfriend now."

"_Oh shit_!" I heard Jasper yell before slamming the bathroom door. "Why don't

you go get your girlfriend Edward?" Jasper said patting my back.

"What? You just walked in on her?" I asked.

"Dude, the door wasn't even shut all the way, and it's not my fault she is wearing nothing but rhinestone heels," Jasper said, falling into the wall.

"_What_?" Alice yelled, pulling herself off the couch. "I gotta see this!" she said, pushing past me toward the bathroom.

"Don't Ally!" Jasper yelled in a warning. Alice of course ignored him and pushed open the bathroom door before I could get to it.

"Bells! Oh my god! Are you okay?" Alice asked taking in Bella's body hunched up over the toilet as she threw up in the white bowl.

"Move, Alice!" I said, coming behind Bella. "Here, baby," I said putting my shirt over her shoulders. I pulled her loose hair away from her face and held it while I rubbed her back.

"That's all you. Glad I lost that best friend responsibility to ya," Alice said, sloppily coming to her feet.

"Me too," I said, and I meant it. I would feel bad if all Bella had to help take care of her hangover was Alice.

Bella threw up a few more times before I carried her to bed. I felt awful for her. I held her hair back as I sat on the edge of the tub while Bella heaved into the toilet every few minutes. I would do anything if I knew a way to make it stop. If I could have hook her up to a banana bag right then and there, I would have.

"I'm sorry," she said groggily.

"I'm not," I told her kissing her temple. "This was one of the best nights of my life."

**My first buttseck lemon ever…please tell me what you think! Working on nine now, so review and I will tease! **


	9. Chapter 9

**SM owns, not I**

**OwnedbyTwins is my beta! Thanks for getting this back so fast!**

**I apologize for the wait! I srsly have writers block with this story!**

**Fair warning...I am posting drunk. It's my first ever drunk FF post. I feel like it's a milestone! HAHA! Review so my drunk ass has something fun to read! Enjoy! **

**BPOV**

I was such an idiot. I got way too drunk. In the past few weeks, I will be the first to admit I had been drinking heavily. I had built up a tolerance, but obviously eight… no, nine Cosmo's was one… no, a few too many.

The last thing I remembered was praying to the porcelain god on my cold bathroom floor in nothing but my birthday suit and rhinestone heels.

I was now in bed wrapped in Edward's arms. Better yet, I was no longer naked. I inhaled the scent of Edward that lingered on his dress shirt.

I felt a bit self conscious with how far I had pushed my limits last night. It was no doubt the best orgasm of my entire existence, but part of me worried that Edward would look at me differently for doing something like that so easily with him.

Jake had always tried to get me to do that, but I had never considered it. It was not even up for discussion with Jake, but with Edward…it just came so naturally to let him have that piece of me.

"How do you feel, beautiful?" Edward asked, brushing my hair from my face. I felt myself grow red and nervously bit my lip. His hand traveled to my backside and he casually caressed my ass.

"Stellar," I told him, through my attempt not to burst into laughter.

"Really? I thought you'd feel awful, no?" he asked, nuzzling my nose with his.

"Well…my head is pounding, I still feel like throwing up…but you are here with me, so I couldn't be better."

"And last night…it was…" Edward goaded me to finish his sentence.

"Uh…it was…I don't know!" I said, scrunching my nose up a little. I could feel the redness over take my face and began to laugh, pulling the sheets up over my face trying to hide my embarrassment.

Edward began to laugh. His arms encircled me as he pulled me close to his bare chest.

"Are you _embarrassed_?" he asked, taking the sheets off my face. I pouted my lips and nodded yes. "Why?" he questioned.

"I don't know! Cause it's so…taboo…and I didn't even think twice about it…and I liked it," I whispered the last part. "Like a lot…it was…beautiful. And I am really jealous you have done that to other girls!" I told him, only half joking.

"Bella…I may have done that a few times in the past with some girls, but I never did it for their pleasure, I did it for mine. Last night…was like the first time for me. You are incredible. In every sense of the word you amaze me. Don't be embarrassed for enjoying me as much as I enjoyed you," Edward reached over and stroked my cheek. "So…that means you'd do it again?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I smacked his chest as laughter spilled out of my mouth, before I stopped suddenly and very seriously told him, "Yeah. Yes. Definitely." I nodded into his chest.

"You know…we are alone right now; Alice and Jasper went out." Edward moved my face closer to his. He slowly moved his lips against mine, and if it wasn't for the fact that my stomach felt like it was trying to push its way up my throat, I would have kissed him forever.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just don't feel that amazing." I sat up in bed and attempted to get up. I didn't make it very far before I began to feel dizzy. I hunched over, placing my head in my hands. Edward's hands rubbed up and down my back.

"I can make some coffee," he offered sweetly. I nodded yes at his suggestion. I watched him stand from the bed and pull on his tan slacks. He ran his hand through his perfectly sun kissed locks before extending it to me. "Come on, peaches."

I took his hand and let him pull me up. I groggily shuffled my feet behind him as we made our way into the small kitchen. I directed Edward as to where to find everything in the kitchen as I sat at the small table, placing my forehead on it unable to muster the energy from my neck to support my head.

"I think I'm still drunk," I said to the cold table, as I swore to myself that I would never to drink again. Edward placed two Motrin and a tall glass of ice water in front of me, instructing me to drink plenty of fluids.

"Yes, Doctor Cullen." I smiled at him before throwing back the orange pills.

"I like the way that sounds falling from your lips," he smirked at me.

"I can be your patient later…I may need a complete physical examination tonight."

"I think I can arrange for that, Ms. Swan," Edward said, pulling his phone from his pocket. "I'd better take this," he told me, looking at the screen.

**EPOV**

The person calling was the last person I wanted to talk to, but I knew if I didn't answer, the calls wouldn't stop. Kate could become very persistent.

"Hello," I answered, pacing in Bella's living room.

"Edward, I was hoping to say hello to Emma…I miss her," Kate told me.

"I'm sorry Kate, Emma's not with me right now. I can have her call you later when I go get her."

"What do you mean she isn't with you?" Kate asked. I still didn't understand where she got off being mad about the way I raised Emma. As far as I was concerned, she had no say about anything in Emma's life.

"Please, Kate. Don't start. Not that I have to tell you this, but my parents took Emma last night so I could stay out with my brother and sister."

"What? You didn't go to the hotel after you were done partying? You found some girl to screw in the new year?" Kate asked, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her tone and audacity.

"As a matter of fact I did. Except she isn't just _some_ girl, she is a very important girl. Bella, my girlfriend." I didn't even know why I was entertaining her at this point. I walked past Bella and went into her bathroom, trying to keep my anger in check with the way Kate was acting. "I told you, I will call you back when I go get Emma. You are being crazy, Kate." I tried to keep my voice down.

"Edward! I don't know what is going on with my daughter! She could have just stayed here with me! Now you have your girlfriend on the other side of the country! How do I even know you just won't up and leave? Take Emma three thousand miles away?"

"It doesn't matter, Kate! I am her father! I am the one that has taken care of her since she was born!"

"Oh and you _never _let me forget it do you?" she yelled at me.

"I am not fucking doing this with you right now, Kate! You can take what I offer you or you can fall off the face of the planet again! Pick one! And I would much rather you do the latter!" I hissed at her through clenched teeth.

"Fuck you, Edward!" Kate said, hanging up on me.

Good riddance. I don't know what she was trying to accomplish, but the way she was acting wasn't going to get her what she had been asking for at all - which was to tell Emma that she was her mother.

I opened the bathroom door and immediately heard Emma's laughter. My Dad was holding her in the living room as Bella stood awkwardly in front of the two of them.

"Daddy!" Emma exclaimed, wiggling free of her Grandpa's arms.

"Hey, baby," I said, scooping her up. I gave her a few pecks on the cheek and then one on her nose.

"Excuse me," Bella said quietly. She looked at me with a grimace, diverting her eyes to her half naked state, and then glancing to my dad. I shrugged at her with a smile. My Dad wasn't going to judge her.

I heard her bedroom door click shut before I put Emma down and asked my dad what was going on.

"Your Mother wants to go see the Mummers parade…I wasn't sure you wanted Emma in that crowd. Jasper said they can get pretty crazy, with all the drinking."

"Thanks," I said, rubbing my stomach as it growled.

"You and Bella…I didn't think that would happen so soon," Dad told me, scratching the back of his head.

"I know what you think…that she is too young for me," I stated bluntly, chopping down the bush he was beating around.

"I do…not because of age, but because of circumstances…do you know how ready she is to have an instant family?"

"Instant family?" I heard Bella question from behind me. I turned to see her, holding my daughter protectively. Her eyebrows were knitted together in either confusion or disgust. I wasn't sure of anything in that moment except how perfect Emma looked in her arms.

"Yes, Bella. Esme and I love you like a daughter, I know Alice already considers you a sister, Edward loves you, and I am sure you love him…but Emma…are you ready for that type of role?"

"I was born for that role, Mr. Cullen. I have been waiting for this little girl to love me for three years, and she amazes me. I want nothing but the best for her…and for Edward. I want to take care of them both. Emma loves for the simplest reason. She doesn't care if my clothes are mismatched, or my hair is out of control… She just…loves unconditionally, and I love her the same way."

"Bella, you don't have to justify yourself to him," I stopped her from speaking anymore. "Do you think for one minute I wasn't absolutely certain of the impact that having a relationship with Bella, let alone anyone else, would have on Emma? Have I ever in three years brought someone into Emma's life that was a fling or someone I was uncertain about?" I began to raise my voice. "NO!" I yelled. "I didn't because… God… no one was ever good enough! I know Bella loves Emma. I know Bella will care for her. I know Bella understands that Emma always comes first. I know Bella loves Emma selflessly. It is just one of the many things that makes loving her so… so effortless," I stumbled over my words a little.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Edward…I was just being a father…voicing a concern. I didn't mean for it to offend you so much."

"It did," I told him. "No. It does," I clarified.

"I'm sorry, Son…Bella, I hope I didn't upset you, I just wanted to make sure you both weren't blinded by love," my dad said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "Obviously, I was wrong. And I am happy for that."

He was my father. He was just trying to protect me. It pissed me off that he didn't trust my judgment, but I couldn't hold it against him.

"Have fun at the Mummers Parade," I mumbled to him.

"Yeah! Be careful!" Bella called after him as he left the apartment.

"I'm sorry," I told Bella as I turned to face her. Emma immediately stretched her arms out to me, and I took her without hesitation.

"Edward, it's fine…really. He is just looking out for you and Emma. I can't be mad that you two have so much support. My Mom and Dad have yet to even send me a Christmas card," Bella spoke as if it wasn't a big deal. It hurt me that her parents weren't there for her.

"That makes me livid," I told her.

"Not me… It does no good to be mad about the way other people are. I can't control their emotions, I can't make them call, or become more thoughtful. But I can control the way I feel about it. And I don't feel like wasting all that energy on being mad at them. I relay on myself to be happy."

"Well, it's my job to make you happy now, too," I told her, placing an innocent kiss on her lips. I put Emma down and took out some crayons and her favorite coloring book and set her up to color.

"And you do," she smiled at me. Bella and I hovered on the other side of the kitchen carefully, watching Emma color Spongebob. "So, um…I was…I mean, I wanted to ask if you and Emma wanted to stay here until you leave?" Bella asked, nervously bitting her lip.

"I don't want to put you out," I told her.

"Don't be silly. I want to spend as much time with you two as I can while I have you," Bella said, moving her hand up and down my still bare chest.

"Okay….you twisted my arm," I smirked at her before moving my mouth against hers. "Let's not get too carried away in front of Emma," I whispered against her lips.

**BPOV**

As the day went on I began to feel better. It was such a relief. I didn't want to spend the little time I had with Edward throwing up and feeling shitty. I wanted to enjoy every second I had with him and Emma.

Emma curled up with me on the couch while Edward paid for the Chinese food we had delivered for dinner.

I made Emma's plate of rice and sweet and sour chicken before sitting down to eat my own. I glanced across the table as Edward pulled out the chair to take a seat, and I gave him a huge smile, when I noticed that he looked as happy as I felt.

"Thanks for making Emma's plate," he said, smoothing out Emma's hair.

I knew Edward was used to doing everything for Emma, not really having the help. From what Edward has told me about Kate, she had yet to take any initiative past playing with her. She didn't offer to give her a bath when Edward said it was bath time, or get her a sippy cup when she said she was thirsty; she just let Edward do it all. That was the biggest reason Edward had yet to move forward and tell Emma who she really was. In his eyes, she acted like nothing more than a friend. He needed to see her act like a mother.

For me, making Emma's plate before I made my own wasn't even something I thought twice about; she needed me to do it in order to eat, so I did it for her.

"It was my pleasure," I smiled at him and then Emma.

"Belwa?" Emma asked me from her seat.

"Yeah, bug?" I asked.

"Daddy said dat you are his gurlfriend, and dat you wove each other, and both wove me, and I still need a mommy, so can you be my mommy?" Emma asked, bouncing up and down in her seat. I shot Edward a look, my eyes wide at Emma's request, before I carefully hid the look of shock and smiled down at Emma.

"I do love you bug, but I-I…" I had no clue what to say. I looked at Edward again, begging him to help.

"Emma, Bella and Daddy would have to get married, and then she would be your step-mommy. But Bella already does lots of stuff for you like a mommy would do."

"Yeah, Em, I can still love you, and help you and your Daddy out, and just be Belwa," I said, rubbing her arm.

Married…is Edward thinking that far? How far? Let's be honest, I would marry him tomorrow if he asked me to. But I wish I knew how he felt about it.

I only had one more day with Edward before he left. I wanted to keep him all to myself, but knew that would be hard.

"Edward, did you make any plans tomorrow?" I asked, scooping out some fried rice onto my plate.

"Just to be where ever you are," he winked at me.

"Well, every time I pass by The Franklin Institute, I think of you, just because it's a lot of medical science and they have a lot of fun kid friendly stuff, and I thought we could go. I mean I really want to go through Body Worlds...but Alice refuses, every time, and she said you'd love it, and we should all go. Alice and Jasper will take Emma through the kid friendly exhibits if you wanted to see Body Worlds with me," I suggested. I had no clue what I found so fascinating about the process of plastination, but without fail each and every time I passed the huge advertisement for it, I wanted to see it.

"That sounds fine with me; sound good to you, Em?" Edward asked.

Emma nodded excitedly as she chewed on the sweet and sour chicken.

"I tried to get my shift covered at work tomorrow night...but I couldn't," I informed Edward with a small frown. I knew their flight left first thing the following morning. He had to be back at the hospital at seven at night, and I honestly had no clue how he managed.

"I understand," Edward told me, trying to hide his disappointment, but I could still see it written on his features.

**EPOV**

Emma was really excited when Alice invited Emma to sleep in her room for the night, for a special sleep over. Of course, Emma invited Bella, and she was unable to decline the invitation. It actually worked out, because I got stuck on the phone, and on my laptop reviewing a newborn that had delivered during my last shift. I was on the phone with one of my colleagues, Tyler, when Bella climbed in bed with me. "I'm sorry," I mouthed to her as she snuggled into my chest. "It sounds to me like intraventricular hemorrhage. What was the RBC?" I asked.

"Three point two," Tyler told me.

"Do the ultrasound of the fontanelles to see if you see any fluid. The infant doesn't present with hydrocephalus?"

"No."

"That's a good sign, I hate to increase oxygen, but if he continues to get worse, I don't think we have a choice. Just email me the ultrasound results, I'll see you when I get back" I didn't even wait for him to respond. I just wanted to focus on Bella.

"Sorry, no such thing as a day off," I told her. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her head.

"It's kinda sexy hearing you say all those words I don't know," she smiled. For a split second I had to remind myself not to focus on the infant three thousand miles away with a brain bleed, and instead focus on my girlfriend. It's hard to do most days, but if I let myself linger on all the bad things, I wouldn't be able to live my life.

"I could be your doctor tonight," I smirked at her. "I think you might be due for an exam," I said nibbling down her neck.

"Umm...this is a bit awkward, but I...ah..." Bella stuttered and struggled to get the words to flow before she lowered her voice to a whisper, "have my period."

"Oh." I said stopping dead in my trail of kisses. "Guess it's better than _not_ having it," I laughed.

Bella snuggled into my chest, and I lovingly kissed the top of her head.

I held Emma's left hand and Bella held her right as we ascended the white steps into the Franklin Institute. "You excited, Emma?" I asked her.

When we got to the ticket desk, I purchased Bella's ticket even though she tried to refuse. "I pay when I take beautiful women out on dates," I smirked at her.

We had about an hour to kill before we could go into the Body Worlds Exhibit. Alice suggested we go show Emma the heart, and let her walk through it. I picked Emma up, and held Bella's hand. We made our way into the heart exhibit. Emma didn't want to be confined with all the artery tunnels and games she could play.

"Come on," I said to Bella, as I walked toward the narrow heart opening.

"Oh, I don't think so. It's very claustrophobic in there! I think I'll pass," Bella said.

"Suit yourself," I smirked before following Emma up the stairs to the right atrium. It didn't take long to travel through, and it was pretty claustrophobic, but Emma liked going through what she assumed was a maze.

When Emma emerged she ran right to Jasper who was standing on a scale estimating how much blood was in his body.

"Ewww! Is dat bwood?" Emma asked, pointing to the red water filling up behind Jasper.

"Nah, it just looks like blood," Jasper told her, before tickling her sides.

"Ready?" I asked Bella.

"Sure," she smiled. I didn't want to risk Emma getting upset that I was leaving, and since Jasper had her occupied, I opted to just wave subtly to him to let him know we would be back later.

Bella and I made our way through the exhibit, looking at all the bodies. Some may think it was gross, but to me it was fascinating. To see all the layers of human body, and to realize everything that lies beneath the layers of protective skin. The way the heart, lungs, muscles, and even arteries looked truly showcased how complicated our bodies are.

"Wow," Bella would say at each frozen person. "It really is like art...I can't believe the urge I have to touch it! Is that gross?" she asked me with a laugh.

I just shrugged. I had seen beating hearts, and brain surgeries in medical school. I had worked on dead bodies that were donated to science.

"It would be kind of cool to live on forever in a museum like this, as like a piece of art," Bella said.

I arched my eyebrows, "Sure," but who's to say you wouldn't end up like, I don't know this guy," I said pointing to a man who was showcased as if he had exploded. Hundreds, or possibly thousands of his body parts hung on strings projected to the left, right, front and back.

"Or, I could end up like her," Bella said pointing to a women frozen with Angel wings. Her shoulder blades were pulled out to make the wings. She was posed gracefully in a glass case, her head outstretched toward the heavens.

"It's your body," I said, as I chuckled at her.

I pulled her into the next room, not prepared for what was behind the black curtain.

Embryo's. Fetuses. A pregnant woman, her stomach opened to reveal what I estimated to be a six month old fetus. Bella's eyes widen as she looked around the room. I could see tears brimming her eyes.

Tiny babies sat in glass displays. Propped up, they looked peaceful. None were disturbed. Their skin in tack; no organs, muscles or tendons were on display. Just babies frozen in time. I couldn't imagine any of the parents I worked with who had lost twenty week old children agreeing to have them displayed like this. I can't imagine how they would ever feel closure.

"Oh..." Bella began before I pulled her out of the depressing room.

"Come on, lets get out of here, okay?" I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. I could feel her shaking a little under my touch.

"That's what it looked like, my baby...I could see a head on that eleven week baby, and little arms...oh god," Bella whispered.

I took Bella out of there as fast as I could. I knew she was going to crumble. I got her outside the museum and took her over to the far corner of the steps set behind a large pillar.

"Are you okay?" I asked looking into her eyes, which were swimming in tears. She shook her head as the tears spilled over. I hugged her. I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't know how to comfort her.

I stroked her hair, and held her in my arms as I told her it was okay. "I love you," I assured her.

"I-I th-think, I will be o-okay," Bella sniffled out. "I was just caught off guard."

"Jasper and Alice took Emma into the iMax theater to see a movie. Do you want to go sit down in the cafe?" I asked her.

Bella sat down at one of the tables as I went up to get some coffee for us. I also grabbed some muffins, and handed the girl my credit card to pay. "I'm sorry sir; it's been declined," she said, handing back my debit card.

That couldn't be right. I had a nice chunk of cash in the bank. I wasn't rich, but I always saved money. Instead of arguing with the cashier, as I knew she couldn't do anything to help the situation. I pulled out a twenty to pay with the last bit of cash I had on me.

I set the food and coffee down before sitting next to Bella. She leaned into my chest and rested, letting out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry, but I have to make a phone call," I told her. I hated to make a phone call to the bank at a time like this, but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. I didn't move her from my side as I reached down and slid my phone out of the pocket of my jeans.

I dialed the bank and when the teller advised me that my account was negative three hundred dollars I nearly spit the sip of coffee I was drinking out across the table.

"It seems, there were several withdraws totaling three thousand dollars from an ATM on Aurora street," she told me. I was seeing red. Aurora street was the seediest part of Seattle.

"I am not even _IN_ Seattle!" I told her. I had a feeling I knew who was responsible for this. Fucking Kate. I had kept a spare bank card in my house. I kept it in Emma's bedroom, in a little box that sat on one of the shelf walls. Kate had to have found it, and I must admit my pin was Emma's birth date. Which I must admit was not a very smart move. I was such a fucking idiot! How could I have trusted her?

I told her the card must have been stolen, but it didn't matter now, the money was gone. All the purchases I had made since coming into Philly had overdrawn the account. And all I had left was the seven dollar change from the coffee's and muffins.

"Mother fucker!" I said, shutting ending the call. Bella didn't need to ask what was wrong, it was obvious after listening to the phone call.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, as Jasper, Alice, and Emma walked in.

"Everything okay?" Jasper asked, the tension obviously lingering in the air.

"No," I said curtly. I was flipping out. How the hell was I going to pay for Emma's daycare? Go fucking grocery shopping, pay my rent, or electric? I was so screwed.

"Looks like Kate found Edward's ATM card, and cleaned him out," Bella informed Alice and Jasper in a hushed whisper.

"Fuckin bitch!" I couldn't control the anger I felt. "I'm such a dumb ass!" I chastised myself. I stopped self when I noticed Emma staring at me. "Sorry baby," I said when I saw she had her ear muffins on.

"Oh my God! Edward! What are you going to do?" Alice asked.

"I don't know...right now I want to k-i-l-l her," I was more careful with the way I talked since Emma was now on my lap.

Jasper graciously paid for the cab ride to the Rittenhouse hotel, where my mother and father were staying. I sat at the bar with my father and told him everything, while everyone else enjoyed the indoor pool.

After I had finished my dad took out his check book and opened it up. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Giving you some money," he said writing out a check for five thousand dollars.

"No, I won't take that much from you," I told him. Sure I needed money, but more importantly I had a daughter that needed money. I wasn't too proud to take a couple hundred off my parents to take care of my negative balance and get through to my next paycheck, but I didn't even have five grand to start with.

"Don't be silly, Edward. You are my son. It's a gift, for....a late Christmas gift. Please I won't have you and Emma struggling because of that woman. You worked hard for that money, and you were too kind and trusting. I won't have Emma be punished or suffering because of that. Now, take the money. Your mother and I don't need it half as much as you do." He ripped the check from the book and handed it to me, before taking out his wallet, and pulling a few hundreds and handing them to me. "This is so you aren't broke while you wait for the check to clear," I took the money not for me, but for Emma. I couldn't go home and have no money for even milk or eggs.

"Thanks Dad, I will pay you back," I told him.

"Nonsense, I told you. It is a gift." My mom and dad had money. They were well off, since he was a doctor. I was just more independent and wanted to make it on my own.

I finished off my drink before heading to the pool, I couldn't wait to see my girls. I was worried about Bella, and how she was holding up since seeing that exhibit. It seemed as if once the initial shock wore off she was okay.

The room was humid as I walked in, I saw Bella in a blue bikini helping Emma swim in a duck tube. They were both smiling and laughing, as Bella spun her around in the water. I sat in a lounge chair next to Jasper and Alice, giving them both a smile.

"Knew you'd take the money," Alice smirked at me.

"Of course I did Ally. I don't have a choice. Emma needs it."

I would do anything for that little girl. Anything in the world.

**Thanks for reading!! Please Review!! **


	10. Chapter 10

**SM owns not me**

**OwnedbyTwins did the beta job for this! Thanks bb! **

**You might get upset – I can't wait to get Kate death threats in reviews so BRING IT!**

EPOV

Bella and I stood outside the airport, her hand in mine, as I held Emma on my opposite hip. I didn't want to leave. Bella didn't want to us to leave, and Emma kept insisting Bella come with us.

"I can't, bug, I wish I could. But I have school here," Bella said, kissing Emma's forehead. "You call me as soon as you get home, okay?" Bella asked her.

"I'll call you as soon as we land," I told her.

"Do you want to check those bags, sir?" the airport employee asked. I could only carry on Emma's suitcase and the canvas bag that held all the necessary things to keep her occupied on the four hour flight.

"Please," I told him as he put the tags on. I tipped him a few dollars and turned back to Bella. She hadn't been able to keep the tears away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want this to be sad. I know you're gonna be back in a few weeks for your interview at CHOP. It's just two weeks," she said, as I wiped her eyes.

"We will talk every day. Email, text message, skype," I said, wagging my eyebrows at the thought of skype sex. Bella laughed through her tears.

"You'd better go, I don't want you to miss your flight," Bella said. I pulled her close, giving her a PG rated kiss. Bella and I had said goodbye in more X rated way this morning when she had woken me with her mouth on my cock.

"_Ummm," I moaned in pleasure as Bella's mouth moved up and down my shaft. Her tongue was flicking at the head of my penis, swirling around, sending jolts of pleasure throughout my entire body. I weaved my fingers in her hair as she bobbed her head up and down. I couldn't help lifting my hips off the bed to meet her mouth. That is when I felt the head of my dick hit the back of her throat._

_Fuck, it felt amazing. I needed more though. "Bella, let me fuck your ass again," I begged._

_I was beyond thrilled when Bella got up and quickly discarded all her clothes. Before I knew it she was on all fours for me. I knelt behind her as I put my index finger in her mouth, getting it slick with her saliva before I began to insert it into her tight hole. I moved it in and out slowly, using our saliva as lubricant to loosen her up enough to take in my throbbing dick._

_After she was relaxed enough I moved the head of my penis to her tight entrance, and began to push it in slowly. Inch by inch I entered her._

"_Tell me if you're uncomfortable or if I am hurting you," I whispered in her ear, as the head of my penis was fully inside her._

"_It feels good," Bella told me, pushing back against my cock._

"_Fuuuucccckkkk!" I grunted out in pleasure. Bella moved back and forth on her knees as I stayed perfectly still, letting her do the work. She would rock forward to the point that my dick would almost come out of her tight ass, before slowly coming back towards me._

_She moved away, letting my dick slip out, and I clutched her hips and pulled her back, slipping easily back into her._

_I reached around her stomach and began to massage her clit. Bella began moving back and forth on my cock with a new found urgency, I exploded inside her as she screamed out in pleasure against the pillow, in an attempt to muffle the sound._

_It didn't help. Jasper and Alice still made comments about the noises coming from Bella's room. Of course, I'm sure Bella has heard her fair share from them in the past, as well._

"I love you," I told her.

"I love you," she said simply. "And you Emma, I love you too, be good for Daddy, okay?" Bella said, giving Emma a kiss on the cheek.

"I will, Belwa," Emma smiled. I held Bella's hand as I backed away from her slowly, wanting to feel her fingertips on mine for as long as possible.

Emma and I settled on the plane and I prayed we would have a flight free of any tantrums or breakdowns. I didn't want to get any of the distractions out that I had packed for her too soon, because the longer she would behave without the toys, the longer she would last. If she got antsy too soon, she would get bored quickly with the toys, and be upset and whiny for the last leg of the trip home.

I spoke to the bank again, and they were pulling information from the cameras of the ATM where the transactions had taken place. They said they had some screen shots for me to look at to see if it was indeed who I thought it was. Kate.

I planned to drop Emma off at daycare, swing by the bank, and then go right to work. Rose said she would pick up Emma from daycare for me.

I just wanted to get back to Bella. I wished she could have come with us, but she couldn't.

Emma settled into the large seat by the window and began sucking her thumb as she rested her head on the raggedy stuffed animal she never left home without. I was thankful the plane wasn't delayed and took off more quickly than usual.

The stewardess pushed her cart down the aisle and smiled at Emma and me before asking us what beverages we wanted.

"Just a water for me, thanks," I said politely.

"Is that your daughter?" she asked me. I simply nodded. "She is beautiful, just like her father," the woman winked at me.

I didn't want to be rude, so I smiled in response and turned my attention back to the medical journal I was reading. "Just let me know if either of you need anything," she added before walking forward.

It was nice to have a few days off from work, but it wasn't enough. It never seemed like it was enough.

Emma and I both feel asleep on the plane ride, arriving in Seattle at eight in the morning. I didn't want to wake her, so I picked her up, letting her head rest on my shoulder as I got the carry-on bag, and hoped she didn't drop her beloved stuffed animal, as it swung limply in her hand.

Emma was heavy in my arms and I had no choice but to ask for an employee to help with the luggage we were waiting for. I couldn't carry all of it, and I would rather pay someone to help than wake up Emma. As the man followed me to my awaiting car in the parking garage I buckled my princess in her car seat, impressed with myself for not waking her the entire time. I thanked the gentleman and paid, before pulling out my phone and calling Bella.

"Hey," she answered cheerfully. "I take it my two favorite people landed safely on the other side of the country?" she asked.

"We did. I am just getting in the car now. I have to take Emma to the daycare and then get to work; I probably won't see the inside of my apartment until tomorrow," I explained. "Rose is gonna take Emma while I work my ass off covering for the people that covered for me. I think I even have to steal some scrubs to work in. I don't think I have anything clean," I told her as I paid the outlandish parking fee.

"You could have brought laundry. I would have done it for you," Bella informed me. I just laughed. I wondered if I would be the only single father in a long distance relationship that visited my girlfriend with loads of laundry.

"No, no. That will never happen," I told her. It was bad enough I used to mail my laundry to my mom before I had Emma to take care of. I thought I now did a decent job of keeping up with housework and laundry. Sure there were a few messes here and there, and most of the time I was searching for matching socks, but I could have anyone over without fear of them finding a mess.

"I miss you and Emma - is she awake? Can I say hello to her?" Bella asked.

"She is passed out, babe. Sorry. I can have her call you tonight when Rose has her," I told her.

"Right, Rose is gonna jump right on that. It's okay. Just give her a hug for me, and tell her I will talk to her tomorrow, and I miss my bug," Bella requested.

"Who do you miss more - your bug or the bug's daddy?" I asked.

"My bug!" Bella said, as if she didn't even have to ponder that question. I couldn't argue. If I was away from Bella and Emma, I would miss them both terribly, but always Emma just a little more.

"Can't blame you, she is adorable," I said proudly.

"Yes, and her father is sexy as hell," Bella added, boosting my ego.

"And to think, I was beginning to wonder if you were just using me to get to Emma," I laughed.

"Listen, I gotta get back to class, call me whenever you get a break?" Bella asked. I could picture her biting her bottom lip.

"Sure. I love you," I told her.

"Love you, too," she said before the call was ended.

I always felt better after talking to Bella. It always seemed to make me feel lighter.

Eight in the morning, fucking great. I crawled down the highway, and took the first exit off. I would just drive through the city to get to where I needed to go. It wouldn't take as long.

I got to Emma's daycare and held her hand as I walked her inside. I smiled at the other parents we passed by and a few of the daycare workers we saw until we reached Ms. Angela's class.

I knelt in front of Emma, and fixed her pink and black checkered shirt,which had come untied behind her back. "Have a good day, baby," I said kissing her cheek. "Daddy will see you soon, but I have to work a long shift, so Aunt Rose is going to take care of you. I will call you, though, and I'll miss you," I told her.

"Miss you, too, Daddy," Emma said, hugging me. She began to giggle as the pager on my hip began to vibrate between us, tickling her. I laughed with her as I pulled it out to see what was going on.

"Of course," I mumbled to myself. I had to go in. Makenna knew my plane landed at eight; it figures she would page me at nine with an emergency. So much for stopping by the bank.

"I've gotta go, I love you," I said, giving her one last kiss.

"Wove you more, Daddy," Emma smiled, as I rushed out the door, waving goodbye to her teacher.

I rushed to the hospital, and ran up the three flights of stairs to the labor and delivery floor. I stopped at the linen closet and punched in the key to get in, grabbing a set of green scrubs. I didn't really have a lot of time, so I changed in the closet while I prayed a nurse wouldn't walk in. I stashed my clothes in an empty cabinet and jogged down the hall to meet Makenna.

"Scrubs today, Cullen?" Makenna asked as I came up.

"Scrubs or jeans, I hadn't even been off the plane an hour before you beckoned me," I smirked at her. She preferred when we wore slacks and button down shirts, and our white lab coats, and for any messy jobs just gown up.

I pinned my ID to the waist band of my scrub pants, as Makenna spoke to me. "Did you like Philadelphia or do you believe me now when I tell you it's a dirty city? I can't imagine wanting to raise Emma there." It was no secret Makenna didn't want to lose me to CHOP.

"There are some nice areas, actually. Emma loved it. And CHOP is in a pretty crappy area, but it's CHOP. They are the best of the best. I'd be a fool not to want to explore any options I have with the best neonatal care America has to offer, and the city isn't as bad as people make it out to be," I told her.

Makenna ignored my statement, knowing I was right, and rolled her eyes before she got down to business.

"We have a thirty-four week baby, aspirated meconium. Needs to be intubated, I thought you might want to show the new students coming in how it's done," Makenna said as we began to scrub for four minutes before we entered the NICU.

"They are already in there waiting; after you're done I want you to take them on rounds."

I nodded, as Makenna brought me to the group of new residents waiting around the infant. I pulled his chart, and began to skim over it. "This is Dr. Cullen. He is one of the youngest and most gifted residents we have ever had here. It only took him three years to complete his bachelor's degree. I hope you all get the chance to work closer with him as he enters his second year of residency, but he is hoping to get into CHOP's program, and I have a feeling we will lose him. CHOP would be foolish to turn him down." I looked up and Makenna and smiled at her me. "When do they accept new students, Edward"? she asked, I assumed curious as to how soon she would lose me.

"Twice a year, in March and September, I am interviewing in a few weeks for a spot in March," I told her. I put the chart down and began to get ready to intubate. I asked the students questions, and explained what I was doing.

There was one girl in the group who kept answering, I think in an attempt to flirt. New girls always tried to flirt with me. It didn't last long, though. Most of them couldn't accept the fact that they would never be the most important girl in my life.

I took them on rounds around the nursery. Again, asking them questions about each case. They could answer simple questions like, "Why does this baby have a shunt?" but they couldn't figure out questions like, "What caused the fluid in the brain?" I enjoyed it most when the nurses answered the questions they couldn't. Sure, at the end of their training they would know more, but it gave them the insight of how much the nurses did know.

Rose was kind enough to go to the bank for me and ID the pictures of Kate stealing my money. She told me the bank was working with the police to catch her, and the bank's insurance would cover the money stolen.

I called my dad to tell him I wouldn't be needing the money he had given me, but he insisted I keep it. He said it would help when I moved to Philadelphia. He wanted Emma and I to live in a decent part of the city, and knew how much that would costs. So, instead of using my checking account as a savings account I opened an actual savings account, with five thousand dollars. I even changed my direct deposit so a portion of it would go to the savings account each week.

I hated spending my breaks on the phone, but that's how it always ended up. And I was upset I didn't have enough time to call Bella.

The day was progressing and I felt like death run over twice. The flirty girl even brought me a coffee. I thanked her as I yawned. Her small talk was rather annoying. "Maybe after work one day we can go get a cup of coffee together, I mean you like coffee and I like coffee..." she said, tapping her coffee cup.

"Ah, I also like my girlfriend, and I don't think she'd like it if I liked coffee with you," I told her. I wasn't trying to sound rude, I just couldn't seem to care if that is what I was doing.

"Right, I guess she wouldn't. What does she do?" she asked, the small talk getting bigger, more personal.

"She is a student at University of Pennsylvania," I told her.

"Oh, so it's not just CHOP in Philly that is pulling you away. That's a great medical school. Is she in residency there?"

"Actually, CHOP has always been my plan. And she isn't a medical student."

She didn't really say much else. She just nodded as she sipped her coffee. The air was tense until Tyler came up, and she began flirting with him. I chuckled to myself in amusement. Sure, Tyler would go out with her, then he'd fuck her; most likely in the on call room like he did most of the nurses, and then tell her he had a good time with a pat on her back.

My phone began ringing and I noticed it was Rose, "Hey, Rose, what's up?" I asked.

"Edward! Oh my God! I came here to get Emma and she isn't fucking here, Edward!" Rose cried hysterically into the phone.

"WHAT?" I yelled. "Where the hell is she?" I asked as panic rose in my chest. I felt myself constrict, my chest getting tight as my heartbeat sped up.

"Angela said they were outside, and one of the new assistants said a blonde was there to pick up Emma, Angela assumed the blonde was me, and didn't check! So, Emma left with her! Edward, they are pulling up the video of the surveillance cameras they have in the parking lot, and the police are on the way. Oh my God. I am so scared."

"It was fucking Kate, I know it. She stole that money not to get fucking high but to take Emma!" I said as the picture fell in place in front of me. She would never win in court, and I had told her to fall off the face of the planet. So, she took my money so she could steal my daughter and do just fucking that!

"Dude, Edward, are you okay?" Tyler asked. "You're white as a ghost," he said as I sat in a chair. I began to cry into my hands, dropping my phone to the floor.

"Fuck, oh my fucking god," I cried into my hands over and over again. I could hear Rose yelling my name from the phone I had dropped to the ground. "Not Emma!" I cried. Thoughts of awful things happening to her sent me to the trash can as I heaved up my lunch. I didn't stop heaving even after my stomach was empty.

"Edward, your sister in law is sending your brother here to pick you up, they are putting an amber alert out." In the back of my mind, I vaguely remembered him talking to Rose. I guess he had picked up the phone to find out what was going on when I lost it.

Flirty girl handed me a glass of water, as I sank to floor. I took the phone back from Tyler to talk to Rose. "What time did she come, Rose?" I swallowed back the lump in my throat. My stomach felt like it was stuck in my chest, blocking my ability to breathe.

"After lunch, around twelve thirty." Rose said.

"It's been almost five hours, Rose, they could be in fucking Canada by now!"

"She's not going to hurt her," Rose said in an attempt to calm me.

"I don't care what she intends to do! I want my fucking daughter, Rose! She doesn't have her favorite stuffed animal! She doesn't know what to do when Emma gets scared! Or how to make her stop crying when she scrapes her knee! She doesn't know to make her laugh when she is pouting, that she will giggle hysterically just by saying 'don't smile'! She doesn't know how to get her to eat her peas, or what bedtime stories she likes! I do! "

"Edward, we are going to find her. You're right. She doesn't know a lot of stuff. She isn't very smart. She won't be able to hide long."

"Rose, my daughter could be in a different country by now!" I yelled.

"We will get her back, Edward." Rose said. She sounded firm. It calmed me a little to hear her resolve. "Just wait there for Emmett, okay?" I nodded, not even thinking that she couldn't know that I agreed.

"I need some fresh air," I said, standing up. "I'm just going to wait out front for Emmett," I told Tyler.

"I left my clothes in the linen closet in labor and delivery, do you think you could grab them for me?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. I can drop them off to you when I get done my shift. Don't worry about anything here."

"Thanks," I told him. I never used the elevator but I didn't think at that moment that I could manage putting one foot in front of the other, let alone go down steps.

When I got outside my phone started ringing again; the cheerful song made me want to throw up.

"Edward?" Bella breathed into the phone. "Alice just told me. Are you okay? Oh fuck! What a stupid question," she mumbled.

"I'm just waiting outside for Emmett," I told her.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I can't believe this! Emma is going to be okay, though, I know it. She has to be." I understood everyone's need to say things like this, but it made no difference.

"Edward, I am at the airport, I am on standby for the next flight to Seattle," Bella told me. And I wanted to tell her not to do that, but it was the first thing to make me feel a bit more comforted, knowing that she would be with me soon.

"Bella, you don't..." I began before she interrupted me.

"I do, Edward. Emma's like a daughter to me. It doesn't feel right being here," Bella said. I could hear in her voice that she had been crying. I didn't want to picture her bloodshot eyes. "Listen, I will call you when I land. I will just get a cab to where ever you are. Please, just try and be positive. I love you."

"I love you," I told her.

I sat on the bench and waited for Emmett. He had a game later that night and fans were going crazy that McCarty was out and someone else was playing for him.

Emmett pulled up quickly and screeched to a halt in his two-thousand-ten camaro. He jumped out and came to hug me. It was a bit awkward. The big huge hockey player picking up the skinny doctor.

"We're gonna get this bitch," Emmett said. "I already hired the best private investigator I could find. She won't be able to hide. Not on three or four thousand dollars. She doesn't have the money to get new ID's for her or Emma. And she's gonna need a job sooner or later," Emmett said.

"I don't have the money for a PI, Emmett." I told him, as we drove away from the hospital.

"I do, and I hired him. I didn't ask for your money. I am going to do whatever the fuck it takes to get my niece back. I know you won't let me buy you shit, or pay for shit, that you want to do it yourself, but this is different," he told me.

"I didn't say I wouldn't let you pay, if Kate calls up and demands a million dollars, believe me you're the person I am coming to ask for the money from," I told him, unashamed.

"You wouldn't even have to ask," Emmett told me.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Your place. Police and PI want pictures and they want to set up there, in case she does call and demand something. Who knows her motives. Do you think she wants money?" Emmett asked.

"No, she just wants Emma," I told him. "And once I get Emma back, she will never touch her or so much as look at her ever again," I said as the anger boiled inside me.

How much time was she going to steal from me? How much shit would I miss of Emma growing up? I was beyond pissed that she was going to make me lose time with Emma. Time I would never get back. What was she telling Emma? Was she telling her lies about me? Maybe that I didn't want to take care of her anymore? Would Emma believe her?

Without even thinking my fist went through the glass of Emmett's window.

"DUDE!" Emmett yelled, "Are you crazy? The car didn't do anything to you!" I held my fist up as blood dripped down my hand. Pieces of glass stuck out in a million directions. "Should I go back to the hospital?" Emmett asked.

"No," I said. "Call Dad and tell him to meet us at my place with shit to fix this, I don't want to delay this any longer." I told him.

Emmett reached into his back seat and pulled out a towel from his gym bag. "It's clean," he told me as I picked out some chunks of glass before wrapping it around my fist.

My apartment was a fucking circus. Cops were everywhere. Rose was trying to find what they needed as my Dad fixed my hand. They didn't stop making comments about how hurting myself wouldn't get her back sooner.

Rose told me that, along with the bank card, most of Emma's clothes were gone. Kate knew I wasn't going to have time to come back to the apartment when I arrived today. She had planned this out. They had her fingerprints and mug shot on file from two years ago when she got arrested for possession. Her file was already going out across the country as a wanted person.

Everyone seemed to want to comfort me with the fact that at least Kate didn't want to harm Emma. It wasn't very comforting. I just wanted my daughter.

Just as everyone was filing out, Bella called to ask where she should tell the cab driver to take her. I gave him the address and Rose and Emmett said they would hang out until she arrived. I didn't want to be alone, even though most nights I couldn't wait to get Rose out my door. I was thankful she was here with me now.

When I heard the doorbell ring I rushed to the door and engulfed Bella in a hug. I cried into her shoulder as she dropped her bags to the ground, hugging me back. Her hands ran through my hair as she cried with me. The whole time she was telling me how much she loved me, how she knew it would be okay.

"God, I fucking hope so, I just want my daughter back," I kept crying.

**Please Review!! Hope you are happy with the quick update!! Hope your not REALLY pissed at me!! **


	11. Chapter 11

**SM owns not me. **

**Thanks to OwnedByTwins for the Beta! **

**Check out my new Story please! It's called Collide, it needs some love. **

**Check out the thread for APL on Twlighted and all my stories can now be read on TWCS! **

**BPOV**

I had a knot in my stomach. My knees felt weak. My heart was racing. I was sweating. My breaths were shallow and fast. All color had to have drained from my face.

Edward didn't have Emma. Emma wasn't with Edward. It just wasn't real. How could this be real? How could this be happening to them?

Alice and Rose knew had known Kate was no good. I had tried to keep an open mind after I got over the initial jealousy. But FUCK! She was a bitch! Who the hell did she think she was stealing Edward's money, and worse, his daughter! The little girl he had raised and loved every freaking day!

God, what if she gets high; what if she forgets to feed her? A sob escaped my chest as I sat in the cab driving to Edward's house. I couldn't go in there a mess. I needed to be strong for him. I couldn't break down.

When I saw him, my heart broke into another million pieces. How would it ever be possible to put it back together? I couldn't imagine how many pieces his heart must be in. How many times can a heart be healed? Did it ever really heal? Because I swear that crack from what I did three years ago is always going to be there; it will forever be a part of me. I didn't want Edward's heart scarred like mine. I didn't want Emma's little heart scarred. Who the hell knew what Kate was telling her about Edward… about his love for her. His love that was nothing less than perfect.

His hair hung down in his face. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. His hand was wrapped up, and the normal excitement in his eyes was replaced with fear and utter despair. He hugged me for dear life, like I would just vanish like Emma.

_Oh, God, Emma._

So much for staying strong, I sobbed right back into his chest. We held each other for a few seconds longer before Edward pulled away.

"Your hand," I said, looking at the bandage that wrapped his fist. I didn't bother to wipe my tears.

"I punched Emmett's car window, it won. No biggie," Edward shrugged. I couldn't hear a hint of emotion other than sadness in his voice.

"God, Edward!" I said, looking around his apartment for the first time. It wasn't exactly how I had pictured my first visit to Seattle.

Emmett came up and hugged me gently. "Bella, it was really great of you to come out here," he told me.

As he let go I was surprised when Rose hugged me after, adding, "It is; thank you Bella." I couldn't believe she was thanking me.

"I can't imagine being anywhere else," I told them. I grabbed Edward's hand. I didn't want him to forget I was here.

"We are going to go, please call if anything happens," Rose asked. I nodded, and walked them to the door.

Edward was silent. His pain seeped through his skin, and the air around him was cloudy and gray. I pulled him into his living room and sat him down on the couch. I curled up next to him, and did what I thought he needed most; I held him.

I don't know if I was right or wrong. But he fell asleep there in my arms on his couch. The sound of the doorbell caused me to jump from his arms. My heart was beating out of my chest. Was it about Emma? Were they bringing her back? Did they have news? I opened the door to a tall olive skinned male who held a bag.

"Hi, I'm Tyler," he said, stretching his hand out to shake mine. "Edward left work today in such a rush he forgot some of his stuff. I told him I would drop it off after my shift," he explained.

"Sure," I said, opening the door so he could step inside. "Edward is asleep, but I will make sure he gets it," I told him, as Edward groggily made his way out from the living room.

"Not anymore, I got excited when I realized you were getting the door," Edward said, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my neck. "Hey, thanks for bringing that by," Edward told Tyler as I took the bag and placed it on the kitchen table. "This is my girlfriend, Bella." Edward said.

"Listen, I brought you a script for some ambien in case you had trouble sleeping, and Makenna said to take all the time you need," Tyler told Edward. I took the piece of paper from him too, and tucked it in my front pocket.

"Thanks," Edward said, letting me go. He made his way to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Want one?" he offered Tyler.

"No, I gotta get home, thanks, though. Call if you need anything at all. I can see myself out," Tyler said.

I waved bye, and still couldn't believe people just expected Edward to go on living without his life.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat," I offered. I knew I had been too upset to eat since I had heard the news. The knots in my stomach were never going to ease. I couldn't imagine how Edward must have felt.

"No, I can't eat," Edward said, walking away. I noticed some dishes in his sink and decided to help by loading his dishwasher. When I finished I went to find him.

He was sobbing on Emma's bed, holding her favorite baby doll close to his chest as he inhaled her scent.

"Babe," I began. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say 'don't do this' or 'be strong' but it all sounded so weak. Who was I to tell him not to breakdown for his missing daughter?

"Baby," I said again, as I tried to think of something to say to him. I sat down and rubbed his back; I brushed away the tears that escaped my eyes before I started to say something that would either hurt or help – I wasn't sure which. "This isn't going to bring her back. I know it's hard not to break down. I know. I have to tell myself everyday that I am not getting that baby back that I aborted three years ago. Never. But Emma, she is out there, and she is waiting for her Daddy to come get her. Because that little girl loves her father more than anything. Kate could lie to her, but Emma would never believe her. With the love you gave her every day, the foundation of unconditional love you laid for her, she will never fall for the lies. She is waiting for you to come find her. I'm not going to say rescue, because I believe Kate is trying to be a mom. I think she felt desperate and impatient and made a huge mistake while she was angry. I want to slap sense into her like you can't believe, but she is taking care of Emma. But Emma needs you. So you need to be strong, and we need to think of everything we can to get her home. I sure as hell won't lose another baby," I told him.

I now regretted that I had told her she couldn't call me mom. I should have let her. I was more of a mother to her than Kate was.

"If I could go back to a few days ago, when she asked if you could be her mom, I would have told her yes in a heartbeat if that was okay with you."

"When she comes home, she can call me whatever she wants. I will always be around for her, Edward. I love you, and god forbid things didn't work out, I would never leave her."

I pulled Edward from her bed, and brought him to his. I pulled his shirt over his head and untied the drawstrings on his scrubs as he stepped out of them. He stood still in front of me in only his boxer briefs.

I let felt his eyes on me, as I pulled my shirt over my head. I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra, letting it slide down my arms. I unbuttoned my jeans and peeled them off, standing in front of him in only my boy shorts.

He reached for me and held me close. It felt nice to have my skin against his. He pulled me into his bed and we just held each other.

I don't know how much sleep he got, but he was still. At least he was at rest.

The next morning I was greeted by Demetri, the private investigator Emmett had hired to help locate Kate. His features were angular and he reminded me of a surfer boy with his blonde hair, blue eyes, and tan complexion.

"Edward, I have a list of people to talk to; James and Victoria, friends of Kate, correct?

"Yeah," Edward said.

"There is are about twenty reporters outside looking for a statement; I recommend that you give one. Let Kate know you want your daughter back; you want her to be a part of her life. Lie. Make her think if she turns herself in she won't be in trouble. Beg. Normally you wouldn't want your daughter's face on every newspaper stand across the country, but in this case you do. All it takes is one person to recognize Emma and call in. Get yourself together, and get out there to give a message to Kate," Demetri suggested.

I helped Edward find a nice polo to wear and fixed the collar. I walked with him to the front door and opened it to what appeared to be a sea of flashing lights.

"Mr. Cullen would like to make a statement," Demetri called out over the chatter of the reporters.

"My daughter was taken from her daycare by her estranged mother. The image of Kate is on the school's surveillance cameras. She also stole thousands of dollars from me, and took a large amount of Emma's clothing while we were away for the holiday," Edward explained. "Kate had recently shown an interest in Emma's life, and with her past drug history and the way she had abandoned Emma before, I thought it would be best to slowly introduce her into my daughter's life. I thought we were working on that together, and I just want her home. I love her so much," Edward said as tears spilled out. "Katie, if you're listening to this, please, I never wanted to keep you from her. I just wanted what was best for her. Please just bring her home, and we can work on this together. Just bring Emma back. She is my life, and I don't know how to live without her," Edward began to break down. His voice was cracking at the end of his speech. I went to him and hugged him, as cameras clicked pictures.

"No questions right now," Demetri told the reporters. He helped me usher Edward back inside and we sat down to talk about every person that Edward knew that Kate also knew. Demetri thought we were on to something when Edward mentioned a cousin Tanya in Alaska.

After a few hours Demetri thought he had enough information to get a good lead on Kate. "Maybe Emma will just keep asking for me, or tell someone she wants her Daddy. She knows my full name." Edward said; it was the first time I had seen him so optimistic.

"Edward, man, kidnappers will often tell the kid that the parent...you know… died."

Edward's mouth dropped open. "WHAT? She might be telling Emma I am dead?" Edward asked, stunned.

"I mean I guess I knew that is what they said, but I didn't imagine that Emma thought that. Fuck...I think she is too young to really grasp that anyway right now, right?" Edward asked. "To a toddler nothing is forever," Edward added. "Not even death." Edward felt better until he thought in more detail. "Fuck her! She probably has Emma all upset over nothing! If she screws her up, so help me!" Edward began to go off.

"Babe!" I said, rushing to hug him. "Emma is going to come home, I can feel it in my heart. Please, she will be okay. Don't get all worked up and consumed by hate and anger. It won't help. We need to be on our toes and have clear heads. Okay? So, just let's not make any assumptions about anything," I said to him, each word cutting through my tongue. Because I wanted to say screw the whore, and if Emma ended up with emotional scares from this I would personally make sure that Kate suffered.

**Kate POV**

I drove my beat up old Honda down the highway and smiled back at my beautiful daughter. I didn't know what else I could do.

Edward wouldn't let me tell her I was her mother, and he was planning on moving across the country, where he would most likely move in with his new girlfriend, Bella. She would be more like Emma's mother then I ever would be if that happened.

I had made mistakes in the past, but I got help, and I wanted to make it up to my daughter, and Edward wasn't making that easy.

"I want my Daddy," Emma said from the backseat.

Soon, she would forget about him, she was young. I would be all she would ever remembers.

"I know, sweet pea, but Daddy couldn't come with us," I told her. I had decided that when we arrived at the small apartment I had rented in Los Angeles, I would explain to her that I was her mother and things were going to be different.

I had a friend Edward wasn't aware of in LA, and he was going to help me. We had been dating when I left to go make things better with Emma. He was excited to meet her.

She was very quiet while we drove, sucking her thumb, as she dozed in and out of sleep.

"Daddy said Aunt Rosie was gonta get me," Emma told me.

"I know, but she called me and asked me to do it for her. Once we get where we are going we will talk all about it, okay Princess?" I said, glancing back in the rearview mirror.

"Onwe my Daddy calls me Princess," Emma informed me.

"Oh," I said, returning my attention back to the highway. We drove down the highway as my car hummed and clunked past the green trees on either side of the highway in Oregon. I had picked LA because of how crowded it was. I hoped we could disappear into the crowd.

Emma had to stop and the use the bathroom more times than I ever planned for. We had only about one more hour of travel left when she said she had to go again. I sighed as I pulled off the next exit and found the closest gas station.

I could feel myself growing tired and made my way to the lonely old pot of coffee. I thought Emma was right behind me when suddenly my heart stopped. She was gone. I panicked as I looked across the aisles in the coffee store. I started to walk quickly to the front of the store, when I saw it. A police officer knelt in front of Emma, as she cried.

"I miss my daddy, I wanna go back home to my Daddy," Emma cried to the uniformed officer.

I stopped in my tracks and tried not to look so shocked. "Emma! Baby! You can't walk away from me like that, I got worried," I said, stroking her blonde curls. The officer stood, and looked at me. "Is this your daughter?" he asked.

I nodded yes, "It's her first time away from her father, and she is having a rough time with it. I am so sorry," I lied.

"Come on, sweetie," I said, picking her up. "We are almost home," I told her, I tried to place a kiss on her head but she squirmed away.

"Daddy said he call me, call Daddy!" Emma demanded.

I smiled at the cop nervously, and lied to Emma, "We will, babe, as soon as we get home," I told her.

"I wanna go to my home with Daddy!" she cried more.

I paid for the coffee while Emma threw a tantrum in the middle of the gas station. "I'm sorry," I told the cashier and the officer as I struggled with her.

I made it to the car as she kicked and screamed against me, and roughly put her into her car seat.

My nerves were shot. "Listen, kid," I said sternly. "Your Daddy never told you this, but I am your mother, and you will be good for me. Your Daddy said I could take care of you from now on, so just be a good girl," I said through clenched teeth.

"I don't want you to be my Mommy! I want Belwa! I want Daddy!" Emma kicked and screamed.

"Too bad!" I yelled, slamming the door shut. I glanced around the parking lot, hoping there was no attention on us, as I calmly climbed back in driver's seat and started the ignition. I turned the radio up, in an attempt to drown out Emma's screams as I drove back onto the highway.

By the time we had arrived at the small apartment, Emma had exhausted herself and was asleep, even though small whimpers still escaped her occasionally.

I didn't know what to do. I had all this shit to bring in and Emma. Could I leave Emma in the car alone? Could I leave Emma alone in the apartment while I unpacked? My plan was thrown together fast and executed quickly; and possibly not completely thought out. I wasn't even sure what type of job I could find to maintain the one bedroom apartment I had secured with Edward's money.

I finally chose to put Emma in the mostly furnished apartment and then unpack the car. I placed her on the queen bed in the bedroom and tucked her in, and then began the task of bringing in the bags of clothes.

I dropped them all at the front door and collapsed on the couch.

"Kate," I heard as a little hand nudged me awake. "KATE!" she cried louder. "I am hungwe!" Emma yelled. I opened my eyes and noticed the time, six thirty.

"Go back to sleep, it's too early," I told her groggily.

"I want food!" she screamed. "I want bunny milk and eggo's!" she whined.

I didn't want to get up. Shit, I didn't even have any food. I thought we would arrive a lot sooner than we did and I would have time to go grocery shopping. I should have thought this half assed plan out better. I felt so desperate to hold onto Emma. I know I haven't been Mom of the year, but Edward hasn't even given me the chance to be.

He never even left me alone with her. Yet, he would lets his girlfriend babysit her and have her overnight. He wouldn't give me a fair shot to make up her my absence in Emma's life so I was forced to take matters into my own hands.

I had barely had her twenty-four hours and already I didn't know how Edward managed on his own.

"Fine, fine," I said, sitting up. "How about we do a special breakfast to at McDonald's?" I asked. Afterwards we could go to the grocery store.

"And I would really love it if you called me Mom," I smiled at her.

"But you don't do Mommy things like Belwa," Emma said, stabbing me through the chest.

"Tell me, what does Belwa do that I don't?" I asked.

"I never have to tell Belwa I am hungwe, she wakes up, and she woves me. And," Emma added, like a little know it all, "she woves my Daddy. She sweeps in bed wif me sometimes, and hugs me when I is sad or hurt," Emma added.

"Give me a chance, Emma, I can do those things for you. I promise. I want to be the best mom in the world to you," I told her. I pulled her up on my lap and kissed her head. This time she let me.

"I miss my Daddy," she said again. I sighed and hugged her closer.

"You have your Mommy, now." I told her. I took her to the bathroom and ran a bubble bath for her. She was excited that I had Tinkerbelle bubbles for her, and loved the iCarly toothbrush I had bought for her.

I helped her get dressed and then I threw on jeans and a t-shirt before we left for McDonald's. I had promised Riley I would call as soon as we got in, so I picked up the prepaid cell phone I had purchased to use from now on. I didn't want the police tracking my cell phone usage.

"Hey, babe," I said when he answered, half asleep. "I'm in town; Emma and I are going to grab a bite to eat at the McDonald's on Wilshire. Want to come meet us?" I asked. It wasn't far from his place, and although I told him I wanted to try to work on a relationship with Emma and Edward, he happily gave me a second chance when I told him that the Edward part didn't work out.

I pulled into the McDonald's and grabbed a table. Emma said she wanted pancakes, so I went up and ordered. I brought back the tray and was not prepared for what ensued.

"Where's the toy?" Emma asked, looking disappointed.

"Sweetie, they don't have happy meals at breakfast; no toys, sorry," I told her, as Riley walked in.

"I WANT A TOY!" Emma yelled, drawing every eye in the restaurant onto us. Riley balked as he kissed my cheek hello.

"Honey," I said, reminding myself to stay calm, "they only have toys with lunch and dinner." I hoped she understood.

"I WANT A TOY!" she screamed again.

"Emma Antonia Cullen!" I said sternly, placing my hands on my hips. "There are no toys! If you keep acting like this we will leave!"

"TOY! TOY! TOY!" she ignored my attempt to be firm and authoritative.

I gave up. I threw my hands up in defeat. I stormed up to the front, butting in front of everyone in line, and looked right at the McDonald's cashier, "Got a toy?" I smiled tensely at her. She reached down into a bin and handed me a small Barbie on a surf board.

When I got back to the table Emma was quiet as a mouse. I tossed the toy down on the tray and took a seat next to Riley across from her.

"Got your toy, Emma," I pointed out. She didn't respond. She just stared down at her food, shielding her face while she sucked her thumb.

I looked at Riley and he shrugged. "I sat down and said hello, and she just clammed up," he said.

"Must be cause you're a stranger to her still," I told him. "Emma, baby, this is Mommy's boyfriend Riley. Can you say hello to him?" I asked her sweetly. She peeked up, a blonde curl falling onto her forehead and she waved hello while keeping her thumb in her mouth.

"Hey Emma, it's great to meet you. Your mom has told me some really great things about you. You are even prettier then I pictured," he told her.

"Emma, eat your food before it gets cold, okay, sweetie?" I asked, exhausted.

"So, that is crazy, the whole Edward thing. I can't believe he just let you take her," Riley said, not aware that Edward didn't let me do anything.

"I know, he is just so busy with Residency, and it only makes sense that she be with her mother. He was happy for the break; I came just in time," I smiled at Riley.

"How do you like it here so far, Emma?" Riley asked.

"I miss my Daddy," Emma said quietly, as she took a bite of her pancake.

"Now you get to be with your Mommy, though. I know she will take really good care of you," I smiled at Riley. The faith he had in me being a mother warmed my heart. I just wish Edward had seen it.

Without him I would have never gotten the courage to knock on Edward's door. I deserved to be a part of her life if I wanted to be. She deserved a mother. Edward was....I don't know what exactly, maybe threatened, that she may love me more than him if he ever let me in fully. Emma and I both deserved a second chance, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen.

That night at my and Emma's new home, Riley came over. I could see us three becoming a happy family. I got Emma's pajama's on as he drank a beer, sitting on the couch, watching TV. I kissed Emma goodnight and changed into a skimpy night gown.

"Hey," I said, walking towards him. I sat on his lap and we began kissing. His hands were all over my body, and that's when CSI was interrupted for an important news brief.

"There has been an Amber alert issued for a young girl taken by her estranged mother from her daycare," Riley pushed me off him and looked at Emma's picture on the TV, and then back at me.

"You kidnapped her?" he said, shocked.

"I didn't have a choice! Edward wouldn't let me near her! I could never be left alone with her and he was getting ready to move across the country with her to live with his new girlfriend! I couldn't lose her! It was my only choice!" I told him. Riley stared at the TV. We watched Edward beg me to bring Emma home.

"DADDY!" Emma said, running out of the bedroom. She looked all around, searching for him until her eyes landed on the TV. "DADDY and BELWA!" she exclaimed. I quickly turned the television set off.

"Emma, you're supposed to be in bed. It's past your bed time, come on sweet pea," I calmly guided her back to the bedroom.

"Daddy is wooking for me? Why won't you call him, and tell him where we is?" Emma asked. "I want to go back to him," she told me, with tears escaping her eyes.

"Emma, just trust me okay? Everything will be okay," I told her. I kissed her forehead and went back out to talk to Riley.

He was pacing my living room floor. "KATE! Are you fucking crazy?" he yelled at me. "You just made me an accessory to kidnapping! What the fuck!" he yelled.

"SHHHH!" I said, putting my finger to my lips. "Don't scare her anymore than she already is! I want my daughter back. Please, I love her. Just...don't say anything," I begged him.

"This hasn't even been a day Katie, the man's brother is a famous sports figure, he models for calvin fuckin klien in the off season! Could you forget you have blonde hair and think things through more rationally? You are never going to beat them Kate! Never. They will hunt you down. They will make you pay. Why don't you realize the people you are dealing with? This is worldwide news! 'Niece of Emmett McCarty kidnapped' ALL THE FUCK OVER!" Riley yelled.

"Then we will go to Mexico! I don't know! I am not losing my daughter again!" I told him. "I want her to know I fought for her! That I wanted her! And he wouldn't give that to me! He wouldn't share her with me!"

"Kate, you are having a blonde moment again; she is a child, not a toy. He wouldn't share? Katie, please, do what he wants and bring her home." Riley said. He grabbed his coat and went to the door. "She is a great kid, Katie, but not because of you. Because of him. Do what is right," Riley said.

"Are you going to tell if I don't turn myself in?" I asked him, because I was ready to get in the car and go to Mexico.

"I don't know," he told me. I guess it was a gamble. I wasn't bringing her back. Not to _them_.

**EPOV**

"Bella, you have to go back to school," I told her. It had been two weeks, and we'd had a few tips. A few people had called from Oregon saying they saw Kate and Emma in a gas station, and that Emma was asking for me. They didn't see the news report until long after they had left.

I was a little comforted that she wasn't in Canada, but more upset that she could be heading to Mexico. The money she stole from me would get her a lot more there than it would get her here.

"Edward, the semester just started; I am just going to stay here with you and drop my classes. It will just be a withdrawal. I will make them up in the summer if I have to. I can't go back there, my heart is here," she told me.

"It's been two weeks Bella, two fucking weeks!" I tried not to yell. It did no good. CHOP was very understanding. They told me they spoke to Makenna and my colleagues and said in March there would be a spot waiting for me.

I didn't even care. What if I never got her back? How would I ever go on with my life? Would people just expect me to stop searching and move on? Or to go on with my life and to make looking for her more of a part time thing?

I cried when I heard the police officer tell me how Emma had gone to him and told him how much she wanted to go back home, to her Daddy.

I was relieved Bella wasn't taking my advice and leaving me. I wouldn't have been able to take it if she did, but I felt selfish holding onto her. I felt like I needed to say it was okay, even if it wasn't.

She held me every night in bed, and not once had we made love since she'd arrived. last night, I watched her climb into bed with me wearing her boy shorts and one of my wife beaters. I could tell she didn't have a bra on, and I groaned into the newspaper article I was reading about Emma.

People Magazine was even coming by to do a story on us. It helped to know Kate wouldn't be able to hide forever. Or maybe she could. No one had thought she'd make it two fucking weeks.

"What?" Bella asked, pulling her hair down from the messy bun.

"You are not wearing a bra," I told her into the newspaper.

She glanced down and I looked out of the coroner of my eye as she noticed her erect nipples.

"Why are they standing erect?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her.

"I'm cold," she said, way too fast.

"You're such a bad liar," I told her.

"Fine, I was… ya know... a little horny... so I relieved some tension," Bella told me, turning red.

I groaned. Again. My girlfriend just told me she had masturbated. It made me hard.

"You didn't have to do that. I'm good for that," I told her as I reached under her shirt.

"I didn't know if you were in the mood," Bella trailed off as my fingers pinched her nipples.

"It would be a good distraction for me," I told her. I reached my other hand down her boy shorts and began to feel around her wetness.

"So wet," I told her against her neck. "What did you do to yourself? Can you show me?" I asked.

"I thought of you," she breathed heavily. "I just want you to take me, I need to feel you inside of me," Bella begged.

I hadn't realized how much I needed her either. I entered her slick pussy and held her tight as I moved in and out of her. Her legs wrapped tightly around my waist. Her finger nails anchored into my shoulder blades, scrapping down a little every time I entered. I moved inside of her slow and hard, putting all my focus and energy on pleasing her; being comforted by her.

My lips found her breasts, still covered from the wife beater. I bit down on them from the outside of the shirt as Bella moved her hips off the bed to meet mine. Her lips on my neck, sucking, licking, and biting up to my jaw line. Her tongue darted out and she licked my lips, I opened my mouth to kiss her but she moved her mouth away, and began to focus on my ear lope.

"I love you," I told her. "You are so beautiful," I whispered. I held her closer and moved faster and harder. Her nails digging deep in my back, the pain turning me on.

When we came together, it was the happiest I had been in two weeks.

**So you want a teaser? Come on over to the Twilighted thread! I will have one up in 30 minutes! Come talk to us! It's fun! The link is on my profile! **


	12. Chapter 12

**APL 12**

**Thanks to OwnedByTwins for the beta job! I really made her work on this one!**

**Enjoy everyone! **

**EPOV**

Emma had been gone for one month. Bella had been here the entire time. However, she had been distant since we had made love two weeks ago. Honestly, I was not the best boyfriend at that point in time, and I figured that was why she was acting weird.

Emmett had offered a million dollar reward for the safe return of Emma Antonia Cullen. He made the announcement when People Magazine had interviewed us.

The cover was a picture of me and Emma, smiling, on the steps of the Franklin Institute. They snapped pictures of her empty room, which I had left untouched. Her bags from Philadelphia still sat in the trunk of my Volvo, and the magazine had even taken pictures of that.

I read the article quietly as Bella worked on getting more news sources involved.

"_Edward Anthony Cullen is a hard working young man and proud father that beat the odds. Not many twenty-three year olds would willingly take on the hard work and have the dedication to pull off the things that he has._

_The single father was recently accepted into the prestigious Children's Hospital Neo Natal program in Philadelphia, with plans to start in March, and now he isn't even sure if he will be able to make it._

_His young daughter, Emma Antonia Cullen, was kidnapped by her estranged mother, Kate Denali, one month ago. I visited the distraught Edward, and his girlfriend, Isabella Swan, as they struggled to live each day with a piece of them missing._

_Edward and Bella tell us stories about Emma. The cute things she says, and all about her 'boyfriend' Freddy on the Nickelodeon show iCarly. Edward comments with a smile, that she will be thirty before she dates. Bella tells us how much she loves baby dolls, and Edward shows us the small table in her room where he used to have tea parties with her. He takes a seat in the too little chair and looks longingly across the small table at the other empty seat._

_Edward and Ms. Denali were not in a serious relationship when she became pregnant. Edward asked her to give the baby up for adoption instead of aborting it. Little did he know he would fall in love with the child she was carrying. He begged and pleaded with her to keep the baby, only to discover that she was using drugs while pregnant._

_She had Emma for a few days before dropping her off on Edward's doorstep and disappearing - not to be seen again for three years._

"_She showed up one day recently, out of the blue, wanting to be part of our lives again. I told her she had to earn a place as Emma's mother, and that she just couldn't show up and everything would be __magically better. She was becoming upset because I didn't let her take Emma places, or tell her that she was her mother. I honestly didn't see the things from her I needed to see. I wasn't going to risk Emma being hurt if Kate hadn't changed. I had no idea she would go to this extreme. I just want my daughter back. I wonder everyday about her. If she has grown or learned something new. I wonder if she is hurt, or confused. If she thinks I abandoned her," Edward tells us as he begins to cry. _

_His girlfriend Bella is always close by his side."How did you feel about Kate, Bella?"_

_Bella shifts and fidgets, and you can see the nineteen year old girl in this moment, but when she begins to speak, you forget that she is a teenager. "I wanted Emma to have everything. I wanted her to have the best, and if that meant her mother I was in Kate's corner, rooting for her to step it up for Emma's sake. But it just goes to show, that blood doesn't make you a good parent, love does. And I love Emma. My heart is broken for Edward, for Emma, and for myself. No one isn't suffering in this situation. It was a very selfish thing for Kate to do," Bella tell us._

_Edward's family is no stranger to the media. His sister Rosalie McCarty is married to heartthrob and hockey player Emmett McCarty. They have gone to great lengths, using the resources they have to help Edward, who struggles to put himself through medical school._

_Emmett hired a top notch private investigator, and has just announced a one million dollar reward for the safe return of Emma._

_Edward's other sister, Alice, resides in Philadelphia. Plans for her wedding to up and coming chef Jasper Hale have been put on the back burner. His entire family has come together to support him. Most notable, though, is his girlfriend, Bella._

"_I couldn't do it if she wasn't here. I didn't ask her to come. She withdrew from all her spring classes at the University of Pennsylvania to be here with me. I swear if she wasn't with me, I wouldn't have smiled in four weeks."_

_He smiles at her, and you can see the love he holds for her._

"_What would you say to Emma right now if you could say anything?"_

"_That I love her. We all love her. We want her to come home more than anything, and I am doing everything in my power to make that happen," Edward says with a strong tone._

_If you have any information on the whereabouts of Emma Antonia Cullen, please call the missing children hotline._

I looked at the picture they had taken of me at Emma's small tea party table and I then looked at the picture they had snapped of Bella hugging me as I cried, talking about how much I missed Emma.

"Do you want to read this?" I asked Bella.

"Not now," she said, getting up from the computer, leaving a colorful flyer on the screen of a missing child, my missing child.

I went after her. We hadn't made love for two weeks, and she had been acting strange since then. I wanted to make love to her again. I didn't know why she was so closed off to me.

"Bella!" I called after her as I followed her into my bedroom. She turned and looked at me, and offered me a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Yeah, baby?" she asked, and I knew something was up.

"Can you tell me what is bothering you? Did I do something to upset you?" I asked her. "You want to go home, don't you?" I feared she thought she was missing too much by being with me.

"No! It's not that! I am home! I am. I am just getting discouraged by all of this, not having her yet, I feel like I am failing you," she told me.

"Failing me? That is crazy. You are saving me," I told her. I hugged her close and just breathed in the comforting scent of peaches.

**BPOV**

What a mess - a complete fucking mess. I came here in such a frenzy that I had forgotten my birth control pills. It hadn't seemed like a national emergency; I hadn't expected Edward to even want to have sex, but then, boom, two weeks ago it happened. And we had just needed each other. The next morning, I had wanted to tell him that I had been off the pill for two weeks, but it just seemed like something stupid to that would worry him unnecessarily.

I couldn't go get the morning-after pill. I thought decided to just wait, and not stress him out over what could turn out to be nothing. However, it turned out to be something. I was late. I didn't know even know how to tell him. I didn't want to tell him.

He knew I was acting odd, and he thought I wanted to leave. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to tell him I might be pregnant with his child. But it wasn't right, not now. Not without Emma. With all the stress, and the possibility I might be pregnant, my mind wasn't with him one hundred percent and I was failing him.

And the smile that crept onto my face when I thought of the baby possibly growing inside of me made me feel guilty. I told him part of the reason for my distant behavior, and he told me I was saving him.

I didn't know for sure...but if I was carrying his baby, I was afraid that he wouldn't handle it well. I didn't think he would jump with joy, or laugh with excitement. I thought he would be shocked. He would attempt to smile. Everything would be overshadowed by the sadness of Emma's absence. It could possibly hurt him even more.

I had spent the last month living with Edward, helping him. Doing his laundry, helping in any way I could to find Emma, and to bring her home.

Edward was supposed to start at CHOP in one month. He didn't know whether or not he should pack. He would never leave without Emma. He had asked me to look for an apartment for the three of us. He wanted me to live with him and Emma back in Philly. He was hopeful, which I supposed was a good thing.

"Baby, you know the city," he said, kissing my neck as I sat on the couch with his laptop. "Find a nice two bedroom place for you, me and Em, no more than like two-thousand a month," he said. I wanted to say, how about three rooms? But I couldn't.

"What if we moved to the burbs, rented a house or something? It would be cheaper than two-thousand, safer for Emma, and you and I would only have to travel like twenty minutes," I offered. Most houses had three bedrooms, and were less than two-thousand a month to rent, unlike the swanky apartments on the waterfront and in center city.

"But you don't have a car," Edward said.

"I can take the train, Edward." I told him. "My school is close to a lot of public transportation," I explained. "It's no big deal."

I brought up a house for rent in Broomall – it had three bedrooms and cost twelve hundred a month. Brand new everything and the schools were really good in that area. I pointed it out to Edward.

"If you are sure about moving out of the city; I know how much you like it," he smiled at me.

"I'm sure," I told him. I wanted the best for Emma, and for my maybe baby; I didn't want to raise them in the city.

"Heck, with the money we will save, I could buy you a car," he said. Normally I would have argued, but he might have wanted to buy some sort of family car once I gave him my news. The small Volvo didn't seem like it would do. "Give them a call. Obviously we won't be able to see it, but ask them to send more pictures and info, and then we can try to get it," Edward said, kissing my head.

I looked at the house, a cute brick cape code. Two storm dormers sat on the roof, and I could imagine a little nursery in one, and Emma's room in the other.

I typed an email to the rental agency and kept my fingers crossed that Emma would be found, and Edward and I would be able to move on with our lives.

The longer she was gone, the more fear I felt. Part of me said, 'it's been a month, it can't be much longer,' while the other part said 'she has made it a month, will we ever find her?' And if we never found her, how would Edward ever move on? How would I ever move on? I would have to for the baby that may be coming in nine months, but would Edward be strong enough to do the same?

I wished I could be more positive about the whole thing.

Edward sat next to me as I pressed send on the email I had typed about the house. I offered him a smile.

"Something is wrong, Bella. More than you are saying," he said in a serious tone.

His Dad had been telling him to get back to work, that the search wouldn't be less productive if he was at work. I was starting to agree. Edward said his mind wasn't there. He would fuck up. But if he couldn't even go to work, I didn't think he would handle my news well.

"We have to try and move forward; we have to keep searching for Emma, but we also have to get back to our lives," I told him. I didn't want to sound cold. I just wanted to know if he could do it. "I'm not leaving you. I don't want to leave and go back to school. But I want us to move forward," I told him. "We can't be stuck in this limbo, it can't be healthy. If you had another person to support would you go back to work and live your life more?" I asked.

"Bella, I can't. It doesn't feel right." Edward said. And the fear that Edward would lose his spot at CHOP came to the surface. I didn't want him to stay here, waiting for Kate to be found. It was obvious she wasn't in Washington. I wanted Edward to go to CHOP, to follow his dream, so that when Emma was brought back to him, he would be better than he was before. I told him this, my voice shaking with fear that he might find my suggestion crazy, and tell me to get away from him.

"When they find Emma, they are going to return her to where ever you are. _You_ are her home. She wouldn't want you to miss out on CHOP. You need that residency for her, for her future. Does it matter if we search for her from here or from Philly?" I asked. I knew he still had a month, but February was a short month. "Just think about it, okay?" I added.

"I'll think about it," he told me. He didn't sound very promising. I didn't actually expect him to. But at least the seed had been planted in his mind.I didn't think it was in his or Emma's best interests that he had stopped living.

I didn't know how to tell a man that had stopped living that I might be carrying his baby.

The thought of getting a pregnancy test had crossed my mind thousands of times each day that passed. I just couldn't bring myself to do it - to make it real.

**EPOV**

Emma had now been missing for thirty-three days. Bella and I discussed the possibility of moving forward a few days ago and I didn't disagree with her. I did feel a little guilty, and like it wasn't right to leave without Emma.

I did consider what Bella had said about moving forward; not on, just forward. Continuing to build the life I wanted for Emma. She deserved that much. So, I did start to pack. And I did lease the house in Pennsylvania. I knew that when Emma was found she wouldn't be returned to my duplex in Seattle, she would be returned to me, or I would go and get her.

I would get her. I would search every city in every town if I had to. I would never give up searching for her. I would talk to whoever would listen, give as many interviews and answer as many questions as the reporters threw my way. Odds were in my favor that someone would see them, and recognize them. And call. Just one person.

Bella had been in the bathroom for what seemed like forever. I knocked on the white door, "Babe?" I said softly. "You okay?" I asked.

"I don't know," she called back out. I heard the lock turn and took that as an invitation to come in. Bella was sitting on the toilet and she looked up at me as I walked in. It looked as if she had been crying. "We need to talk," she informed me.

I knelt down on the green bathmat in front of her, afraid of what she needed to talk about. "What?" I asked. I didn't know if she was about to break my heart more than it already was, or tell me something was wrong with her.

"I wanted to tell you sooner, but it just never felt like the right time, and I didn't want to stress you out more than you have been," Bella began. I looked at her, confused. She wanted to tell me something for weeks?

"The entire time I have been here, I haven't had my birth control," she told me. "I just forgot it. And we weren't really having sex anyway, but then it happened that one time, and…" Bella trailed off and swallowed.

"You're pregnant," I finished for her. I could feel the blood drain from my face. I didn't know what to feel.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know it's the last thing you want," she added as the tears spilled over her lower lids.

"Why wouldn't you say something? Why didn't you tell me you didn't have them?" I yelled. "I mean, did you think you could get knocked up, replace Emma, and we could move on together?" I accused.

I shouldn't have been shocked when I felt the sting of Bella's hand hitting my cheek.

"How dare you accuse me of such a horrible thing? You told me how much you needed me! I forgot in the heat of the moment! Fuck you for thinking that!" Bella yelled at me. She picked up the white stick and hurled it at me before storming out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

I picked up the pregnancy stick and looked at the plus sign. I placed it down on the sink and went to find Bella. I found her in what had become our bedroom, throwing her clothes in her suitcase.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Leaving, what does it look like?" she said, staring daggers at me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I just was shocked - that's all. Please stay," I begged her.

"You want me to stay? With what you think I am capable of?" Bella asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"I don't think that of you! I think that I am fucked up and confused! I think that I am broken and sinister! My daughter has been gone for over a month! Please! I don't think that of you!" I told her. "I love you," I added. "It was so stupid to say that! I am mad at Kate, and I am just...FUCK! I am mad at myself, and please, Bella," I continued.

"If you love me, how could you say that? It hurts that you could have even thought that of me for one second. Tell me, Edward, how do you feel about this baby? Can you love it like you love Emma, despite her absence in our life, because I realize it's a huge hole for us both. I know that. I don't think for one second another child can fill it, but can you love it the same? Can you find that perfect love again for this baby, even though you are hurt and broken?"

I didn't answer her. I was shocked, and appalled at myself. I watched her hold her still flat stomach. I felt so guilty.

"Edward!" Bella yelled to get my attention. "Can you? Or have you really become that type of man? Cause I don't think you have, but if you have, you don't deserve us, or Emma!" Bella said, the words ripping through me like a jagged knife. The truth always hurts the most.

"I love you, Bella. I love our baby. I love Emma," I told her. "I swear I couldn't love our baby any less than I love Emma," I assured her. "I just feel guilty for being happy without Emma, and I don't know how to convey that without completely fucking up. And then I feel guilty that I feel like I can't be happy about it," I yelled. Not at her, only at my own frustrations, tears spilling down my cheeks.

Bella ceased packing, and came to me. "I know," she said, hugging me. "It doesn't feel right to be happy when we are hurting so much, I know. I feel it too," she told me. "But like I said earlier, we have to keep moving forward, we have to keep searching for her, and we can't lose ourselves to this grief. We can't fail Emma," she told me. I agreed with her. As much as my heart was broken I knew I couldn't give up everything I had worked for, for Emma's sake. I would keep my head above water. I would make sure when Emma came home, she still had a father.

**KPOV**

It was getting easier. Every day, taking care of Emma gets was getting easier. I was doing my best. It was hard. I could change my own appearance by changing my hair color, but I couldn't do that for Emma. Her picture was all over. I couldn't even take her out.

Riley came back. I knew he wouldn't turn us in. It would have torn my heart out if he had done that to me, and he couldn't do that. Emma seemed more at ease with him than with me. He thought that was because she had been raised by her father.

I didn't know how we could ever have a normal life here. We had to leave the country, but I wanted better than Mexico for Emma. I wanted her to live a good life. I couldn't get her on a plane; I couldn't even take her into the grocery store without fear of being recognized.

I kept telling myself to take it one day at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day, or whatever that saying is. I wished Edward could have seen the work I had put into making myself worthy of being Emma's mother. It had taken a long time to get clean, stay clean, and get the courage to go back.

I understood his need to protect her, but I didn't understand why he couldn't see her need to have a mother. Then I realized that he was lining up his new girlfriend Bella for the job. That's why I was never going to be good enough in his eyes for Emma.

I loved her. I did. I may not have been the best mom, but I was learning. She told me the things she liked to eat, and I learned to make them. She told me the books she liked to read, and I bought them. Riley also bought her a ton of toys.

She smiled with us. She was happy. She still asked for him everyday. And for her. Belwa. I knew I felt threatened by her. I knew she had done the right things for Emma, but Emma was my daughter. I had given birth to her.

Every week, Emmett, Edward, or Emma were on the cover of People Magazine. The media was really eating up this news. Of course, the Cullens wanted the exposure. They wanted us found so they were talking to whoever would listen.

Edward had just announced that he was going on with his plans and taking a his spot at CHOP. That he and Bella would be leaving Seattle on March first, and hoped it would be with Emma. That if they left without her, the search would only get more desperate for him. Riley quoted him as we snuggled on the couch after we had put Emma to bed, "I will never stop looking for her; her room will be waiting for her in Philadelphia when I get her home, with me, where she belongs. I just want her back. I don't care if Kate goes to prison; I don't care if she walks away scott free, as long as Emma is back in my arms." The article went on to talk about the fact that he wanted her home before the arrival of her new brother or sister. I knew that wasn't planned. I wondered what Edward had against birth control - knocking up his nineteen year old girlfriend.

"She belongs with her mother," I said, spitefully.

"Kate, she belongs with her parents," Riley pointed out. Since he had come to terms with things and decided that what was done was done, and he more or less got on board, he had been great to Emma. But every now and then he made these statements about bringing her back, giving her up.

"In a perfect world, yes, but it's too late for that. If I bring her back, Edward doesn't have the power to keep me from jail. It's not his choice whether or not I go. And I will, and then I will never see her again. Then I might as well have stayed geeked out on meth and heroin," I explained to him.

"He is leaving in two weeks; we have had Emma for almost two months. She isn't going to forget him. I could "find" her, and turn her in. I could collect the million dollar reward, and we could start a new life together, and start our own family," Riley said, hugging me.

I pushed him back a little. "My daughter is not for sale," I told him firmly.

"Katie, be realistic! You are not getting away with this! You are in hiding! How are you going to put her in school? We are never going to get her on a plane. Kate, you made a bad choice three years ago, and you made another one two months ago; you've lost her. Just let her go. Edward is a good man, and he is a good father to her. Be thankful and move on, knowing that she is growing up loved, happy, and well taken care of."

"I'm not that selfless, I am selfish. I won't deny that. I won't let her go again, Riley. You want to turn me in for a million dollars? You can't, look at how involved you are now," I pointed out.

"Don't threaten me, Katie, deals are made every day if it comes down to it. I don't want to turn you in. I want you to do the right thing. I want you to come to terms with the mistakes that brought you here today, and move on from them. It would be one thing if you had showed up and Edward was struggling and he and Emma really needed you, but they didn't. And you need to accept that."

"Whatever," I dismissed him. "Done on your soap box for the night? Cause your audience of one is going to bed. Will you be joining me?" I asked.

I stood from the couch and extended my hand to him, helping him stand, and leading him to my bedroom.

Emma climbed into our bed early the next morning. I was getting used to getting up with her. I smiled at her happy demeanor, and peeled the blankets off to get her breakfast.

She took my hand as we headed to the kitchen. "Daddy coming today?" she asked, looking up at me.

I sat her at the table and began to make her waffles. "No, baby, he isn't. I talked to him, and he and Bella are moving to Philadelphia in a few weeks, and then they are going to have a new baby," I told her.

"A new baby?" Emma asked, and she didn't sound excited about it.

"Yup," I smiled at her.

"What about me? When they gonna come get me?" she asked, her eyes wide and sad.

"I told you baby, it's you and me now. Momma loves you," I told her, kissing her soft hair.

Emma didn't say anything else. She ate her waffles silently. When she had finished, she looked at me with her big sad eyes, and asked the question I had planted in her head. I felt awful. I knew it was low. I was just making things up as I went along.

"Daddy and Belwa are gonna have a new baby, and they don't need me no more?" she asked.

I couldn't tell her that was the truth. "I don't know what Daddy and Bella are doing or thinking, Emma, but I love you. I need you, always," I told her.

"I wove you too, Momma," Emma said, and it was the first time she had called me mom. My smile grew as I hugged her.

Riley could be so negative. All I had needed was some time. I knew she would come around. There was no way I was going to give her up.

I fluttered around the house, straightening things up, the words from Emma's lips making me feel like I was on top of the world.

I skipped into the bedroom and threw on a bright pink dress I hadn't worn for ages and jumped on Riley, who was still sleeping in bed.

"Hey! Guess what? Emma called me Momma!" I said excitedly! "We should do something, like go to the zoo!"

"Kate, we can't. People could recognize her." Riley told me, calmly moving me off his body.

"Oh, well, I was thinking. I could get a job as, like, the president of some company; they make good money. Then we can change our names, and get new passports, and we can move to, like, the south of France with Emma." I was so proud of my brilliant plan.

"Katie, are you on something?" Riley asked me seriously. "Cause you are acting a bit weird."

I looked at him funny, upset that he would think that of me. "No, I am just happy. Can't I be happy?" I asked him.

"Yeah, but you can't just walk into some company and say, "Hey, I am your new President," Riley nicely pointed out the flaw in my plan.

"Whatever," I dismissed him again. He just didn't get it. He didn't see how it would work. It would work. Just because of who I am.

"You don't think straight do you?" Riley asked me in a serious tone.

"I think just fine, thank you very much."

With that I skipped out of the room. I didn't need his negativity today. Today was the beginning of a great new life.

**EPOV**

Today was the end. I was going to start a new life with Bella in Philadelphia, and so much of me was missing in Emma's absence.

It was still this gaping hole in my chest. It was so hard to be happy about anything, even Bella's pregnancy. I tried. I couldn't lose myself to the pain, anger, and loss I felt over the selfishness of Kate. I prayed every day for a breakthrough. For just one tip that was legit.

Bella and I were driving up to our new home. She had told me that she had a surprise for me, since she had spent more time than I had putting the house together with Alice. It was perfect to raise a family. I just wanted my entire family.

I climbed out of the car and opened Bella's door. She led me up the path to our new front door. I unlocked the door, and walked in. Bella and Alice had outdone themselves making it a home. "It looks great," I smiled at her.

"This is nothing, come," she said, pulling me upstairs. She brought me to the bedroom that was Emma's. I was afraid to go in. I didn't want to see all her things in boxes, not used. "It's okay," Bella assured me, opening the door. Inside was Emma's room, to the tee. Everything was in the perfect place, even the cherry blossoms painted on the wall.

"We thought it should be just the way she remembers it when she gets home," Bella said.

"Thanks, babe, this is amazing," I said, turning to hug her.

We walked across the hall, into the smallest of the three rooms, and there was a just a crib, and changing table. "I didn't want to decorate until we knew if it was a boy or girl," Bella explained.

Telling my family about Bella's pregnancy had not been easy. Nor had it been pleasant.

_Everyone had come over to help Bella and I pack up when we decided to drop the bomb._

_We were all eating the pizza I had ordered, and of course, everyone was drinking a beer except for Bella. Even my mom had cracked one open. "So, Bella, are you excited to get back to the apartment with Alice?" my mom asked._

"_Actually" I interjected, because I should have told them weeks ago the plans Bella and I had made together. It had just never seemed to be the right time. "Bella is moving in with me," I told them._

"_Really?" my dad asked, and I wasn't quite sure if he meant it to sound condescending or not._

"_Really," I repeated. "We have some more news, too. Bella is expecting," I said. I looked at Bella and she had a small smile on her face, and I smiled back at her._

_The room was silent. Mouths hung open. "We are happy about it," I added. I didn't want Emma's kidnapping to taint any more of this pregnancy. I didn't want to have to say that I knew it was unexpected and coming at a hard time, because that was all obvious. I just wanted to give Bella the experience she deserved._

"_If you two are happy, then we are happy for you. Congratulations," my Mom stepped up and hugged us both._

_We both thanked her, and everyone else followed her lead. I supposed it could have been worse. It did get there, though, when my father pulled me aside to ask when I intended to marry her._

"_When Emma is home," I had told him. She knew that I wanted to ask her. But I wouldn't. Not without Emma. I didn't think Emma would say she didn't like Bella, or she didn't want us to get married, but I would ask her first. As soon as she was home._

"Hey," Bella said pulling me back from my memory. "I made your favorite for dinner. Lets go eat," she coaxed me. She pulled my arm and I easily followed her, as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I walked behind her and held her close as I kissed her neck.

We reached our bedroom door and she turned to face me, kissing me deeply. I kicked open the door and pulled her inside.

"Dinner can wait, I am hungry for something much sweeter."

Bella giggled as I shut the door behind us, and made love to her in our new home.

**Teaser is posted on the Twilighted Thread. Come say hello! Leave some love and review! **


	13. Chapter 13

**SM owns, not me**

**OwnedByTwins did the beta job. Thanks BB! **

**Everyone get through KPOV and to EPOV and you will be rewarded! **

**KPOV**

_March_

They knew where I was. They knew who I was. They knew I had taken my daughter. We had to leave. I began to pack, rushing to throw things together, so that when Riley got home we could go right away.

I wasn't sure where exactly we would go, but we would just start to drive. It was only a matter of time.

Just as I finished packing the last of Emma's things in my small car, Riley got home. "Kate, what's going on?" he asked in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"We have to go, we can't stay. _They_ know," I told him. I rushed up the three stairs outside of our duplex door, and spun around frantically to make sure I didn't leave anything we needed. I made mental notes in my head of the things I had taken, and the things I was leaving.

"Who are 'they'?" Riley asked me as he tried to keep up with me.

"Everyone here, they know. We have to go," I felt like my head was spinning as I rushed to get out of LA. "Emma!" I called. "We are going, now." I said as I entered the back bedroom. She looked up at me as she stopped playing with the two Barbies I had left out for her.

"Where is we going, Momma?" she asked me, as she took my outstretched hand.

"I don't know yet, somewhere new, fun, exciting! Somewhere sunny!" I smiled at her, as I placed her on my hip and began to leave. Riley was starting to scare me, the way he was looking at me.

"Riley, are you coming?" I asked him.

"Kate, what happened? Why do you think people know? Something must have made you think that," he questioned me.

"I just know, okay? They look at me funny, I think they put bugs all over this place. Please Riley, are you coming?" I asked him again.

"Kate, I think you need help! I think you are sick, please. I think you should give her back, and get some help."

I couldn't believe what he was saying to me! I was not crazy. "Fine, you aren't coming then, we don't need you," I told him as I walked past him to the door.

"KATE!" he yelled after me. I stopped and turned to him. "I'm coming," he told me. "Not because I think you are right, but because I won't ever forgive myself if something happens to you or Emma."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes at him.

We eventually settled in Phoenix. Riley got a job with a roofing company, and Emma and I spent our days playing in the house. We found a place to rent with a fenced in yard, so no one could see us when we went outside to play. We even got Emma a little plastic slide to play on, and a sandbox.

The sun was great; I loved to sit out and feel it beating down on me. One night, after a long day outside, I brought Emma in as I started to make tacos for dinner as we waited for Riley to get home.

I could hear her playing with her Barbies when the door swung open and Riley came in. "Hey, Emma, how was your day?" he asked her.

I didn't hear her response before Riley called my name, in a tone I didn't appreciate. "Kate?" he yelled.

"Huh?" I said, coming out to see what was going on. He held Emma in his arms, and looked at me the way he had for the past few weeks, like I was crazy.

"Did you go outside today with Emma?" he asked me, like I was ten.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"You didn't put sunblock on her? Kate she is sunburnt! Look at how red she is!" he yelled at me.

"I didn't burn her!" I yelled back at him.

"You don't get it do you? As a _MOTHER_ you protect your kid from the sun! By using _SUNBLOCK_!" he said, putting Emma down.

"Oh, like you are so perfect! She isn't your daughter, okay? It's just a little sunburn! It wasn't that hot!"

"I am so done, Katie! SO DONE!" he yelled, throwing his arms up. He scooped up Emma and took her to the bathroom, drawing a cool bath and placing her in it. "How's that feel, Em? Better?" he asked her, pouring a cup of cool water over her body. "Go to the store and get something for her, like aloe. Maybe some motrin so she isn't uncomfortable," he said calmly.

Emma sat in the tub sucking her thumb, and I stormed out. I slammed the front door on my way out. It wasn't as if I gave her the sunburn! I wasn't burnt!

_April_

"I don't want tacos no more!" Emma wailed.

"Emma! There is nothing wrong with tacos! We like tacos!" I told her. I had made them the past fourteen days. We all liked them.

"Not eating no more tacos!" she screamed at me.

"Em, knock it off," I told her as I went to pick her up. She was jumping up and down, stomping her feet and I didn't like how close to the steps she was. She fought against me, and wouldn't stop kicking and hitting me, while she screamed at me to put her down.

It happened so fast - I adjusted my arms around her as she flung herself back and she hit the top of the three carpeted steps between the living room and kitchen with a thud. Her cries got louder and more high pitched as she tumbled down them. I rushed down to her and picked her up. She cradled her arm as she cried.

"I want my Daddy! I want Wiley!"

"Mommy's got you, Emma, it's gonna be okay, you are going to be okay," I told her as I rocked with her. Riley rushed into the room and picked her up, calming her in a few minutes.

He sat her in front of him as he inspected her body; her only complaint was her arm.

"You have to take her somewhere, Katie," he told me. "I think there is a free clinic a few blocks away. She might have sprained or broken something," he said, getting her some motrin.

"No, I can't! Someone will see us! What if they recognize us?" I asked him.

"Kate, if you love her like you say you do, you will take that risk." Emma sniffled in his arms, and I decided that making sure Emma was okay was more important than anything else.

**EPOV**

_April_

It was hard to settle into life in Pennsylvania without Emma. Somehow, I managed. I went to CHOP and worked the crazy and long hours under the best teachers and doctors in the country, and managed to give the infants I cared for a hundred percent of my attention.

Bella was eleven weeks pregnant, and still hadn't informed her parents. I don't even think they were aware that she wasn't in school, or even that she was living with someone. She said she had called them a few times, never got an answer and was awaiting their call back.

"Bella, stop waiting for them to call, you call again," I suggested.

"Fine, you want them to know so bad, I will make sure they know," Bella said, picking up her cell phone. "Renee likes to text message. It's not something I want to say over a text message, but she will respond to it. She gets excited over them," Bella explained as she typed a message to her mother on her touch phone.

I didn't want her to text message them the news. "Bella, no! You have to talk to them," I said. I reached for her hand but it was too late, the noise signaled that the message had been sent. She let me have the phone, and I read the impersonal message. _Mom, couldn't get you on the phone to tell you what's going on, moved out of apartment with Alice, moved in with her brother/my boyfriend Edward, withdrew this semester from upenn, having baby due date 10.8.10 – Bella._

"I can't believe this is the only way you can get your parents' attention! I can't believe they don't call you back!" I said in disgust over the way her parents were acting. I tossed her back the phone, and ran my fingers through my hair. It was early in the morning, but I had just finished with a long shift. Bella was just waking up, and I was just heading to bed. It sucked.

I had bought her a new car, which she thought was too much, but I didn't care. She hated that I paid a car payment for her. She had hoped I would buy her something used.

The news around Emma's kidnapping was still strong. When I wasn't working, or sleeping, I was working on getting as much exposure on the situation as I could. I wanted Emma's face in every state, every town, on every news station in the country. All I needed was for one person to recognize her, and call in. One person.

Her birthday was in May. I wanted her home. I had never missed her birthday before.

"Babe?" Bella said, drawing me out of my daze. I looked up and smiled at her, letting her know she had my attention. "You gonna go to bed? You have to be back at seven, right?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I do," I said, pulling my tired body off the couch. I kissed Bella's lips and said, "I love you." I placed my hand on her stomach and said, "I love you, too." Bella smiled and placed her hand over mine.

"We love you, too."

I couldn't help but think that I finally had a family, and Emma wasn't sharing in it.

If I ever found Kate, I would tell her what a selfish bitch she was. Four months, lost with Emma. Who the hell knows what she is thinking of me. If Kate is feeding her healthy, if she is getting enough sleep, if Kate has the patience to deal with her tantrums. God, I don't think Kate took Emma to be a bad mother, but people lose their tempers and do stupid shit. Every time I close my eyes, I pray for her. I pray she is safe above anything else. Then I pray she will be found.

**BPOV**

Thank god my Mom didn't call me right back; she waited. Why call your daughter right back when she tells you she is pregnant and taking a break from school?

"Hello," I answered.

"Bella! What is going on?" I was surprised to hear my Dad's voice.

"I have been calling, and leaving messages... and no one called me back! I mean, I haven't spoken to you since before Thanksgiving," I pointed out.

"Bella, you didn't tell us before Thanksgiving that you were seeing Alice's brother!"

"I wasn't seeing him then," I told him. "We started seeing each other after Thanksgiving." I wouldn't tell him that it hadn't turned into an actual relationship until January. They didn't need to know that, and this was a need to know conversation.

"Bella! You are living with a guy you have only been seeing for six months! And you're pregnant? Who the hell is this guy, Bells!" My dad was pissed. He had always seemed to care slightly more than Renee.

"I am, and we are in love. And he is amazing to me. He is kind, and takes care of me," I informed him.

"Bella, I know nothing about this guy! Your Mother and I are coming. We are getting on a plane and coming there." I rolled my eyes. But I thought it would make Edward feel better. He might not like what they would have to say, but I didn't think Edward was seeking their approval. He wanted to see them make an effort and take an interest in what was going on in my life. It was for this reason that I didn't argue.

"Fine, tell me when you will be here, and I will meet you at the airport," I told him. "I am sure Edward will be excited to meet you. Although I don't know how much of him we will see. He is very busy at work."

"Yeah, well that's not the only thing he has been busy doing," my dad said sarcastically, with a hint of anger. "At least tell me about him, Bells."

"He just started working at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia in the neo natal ICU. He has a three year old daughter, Emma. He loves me," I told him simply. I was surprised they hadn't put two plus two together, and figured out that he was Edward Cullen. The one all over the news searching for his daughter. Of course, they had been out of the country. I assumed they had just returned to the states recently.

"Sounds a bit old for you, Bella." Of course this was the flaw my father would pick out.

"He is twenty-six," I said. It was not a big deal to us. It never had been.

"You are too young for all this, Bella! You're nineteen! You're only in your sophomore year of college. You have still got a lot of life to live," my father said.

"Dad, it's my life. I love Edward. I love his daughter. I am excited to be having a baby. Can't you just be happy for me?" I asked.

He grumbled on the other line, before conceding, "Sure. Okay. We will see you soon."

"Hope you don't mind sleeping on a pull out couch," I added. Of course he grumbled some more.

"We love you, Bella."

"Love you, too." I didn't doubt they loved me. I never had. I just had never understood the way they loved.

I ran a few errands in the car Edward had bought for me, which was way too much. I didn't need a Volvo XC90. Edward loved it, though. It had seven seats, spacious passenger room, and was very safe for the kids. I rolled my eyes, and didn't argue. He was going to buy it no matter what. I still thought seven hundred a month for the next five years was a bit overboard. But no, not for Edward. Edward who said he was still saving a hundred a month by not living in the city.

Of course, the car insurance went up by almost two hundred a month. So, really I didn't understand. I found my way to the grocery store and began to make my way up and down the aisles as I thought about what to make for dinner. Edward would have a little time tonight to actually eat with me. Normally, I invited Alice and Jasper over, or made my way back to my old apartment to hang with them. It could get lonely in the house without Edward.

It was such a white picket fence type of neighborhood. I had always pictured myself in a place like this; not so soon, but one day. I wasn't upset that that one day had come sooner rather than later. The neighbors were all nice, and welcoming.

It hadn't taken them long to figure out who we were; well, who Edward was. I had even noticed the housewives on the street checking him out a few times, being overly nice in my opinion. He was always polite, and told him how excited he was that his girlfriend was expecting.

When I pulled into the driveway, I unloaded the groceries and prepared to start making dinner. Edward was going to wake up soon, and no doubt he would be starving. He was working so hard. I kept telling him I should get a job to help out, and he said there was no need. He didn't want me serving drinks to drunks in smoke filled bars. I couldn't argue. It wouldn't be the best for the baby. I just felt like a free loader. I tried to make up for it – even things up by making nice dinners, and a keeping a clean house.

I began cutting the vegetables for the lasagna I was making when I heard Edward's cell phone start to ring. He had left it on the counter with his keys when he had come home this morning.

I wiped my hands on the dish towel I kept by the sink and picked up his phone. "Hello, Edward Cullen's phone," I didn't know how to answer. I didn't recognize the number and thought it could be about work.

"Is Mr. Cullen available?" a man asked.

"He is still sleeping," I said. "Is there a message?" I asked.

"I think you may want to wake him up, I am calling from the Phoenix PD and we have his daughter Emma safely in our custody." I could hear the smile come through the phone as he told me the amazing news.

Tears sprung from my eyes as I exclaimed, "Oh my God! You have her? She is okay?" I asked as I darted to the bedroom. "Edward! Edward! Wake up! They have her! Emma! They found her!" I said, shaking him awake.

His eyes darted open and he grabbed me, holding me still over him. "Are you serious? Is this a dream? They found her?"

"It's real!" I said, handing him the phone. He sat up, and took the phone from me. He reached and brushed the happy tears from my face as he said hello.

"This is Edward Cullen," he said, swallowing back.

**EPOV**

"Mr. Cullen! I am Captain Allastiar with the Phoenix PD. A few hours ago a man called, telling us he saw who he believed to be Kate Denali and Emma Cullen. We followed the lead, and got them! Kate is being held, and Emma is here, waiting for you!"

"Holy shit! Can I talk to her?" I asked. I couldn't contain the joy and relief I felt. It was like a floodgate, knowing that I would have her in my arms again, and I let the tears come.

"Hey, Emma, Daddy is on the phone, he wants to talk to you," I heard him say to her.

"NO! I don't wanna talk!" I heard Emma yell, breaking my heart. I was happy I could hear her voice again, but to hear her reject me stabbed me like a knife.

"I, ah, I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, I can't get her to agree. She must be really confused," Captain Allastiar tried to smooth it over.

That is when I heard it, and it shouldn't have surprised me. "I want my Momma!" Emma's faint voice carried over the line. With four months, Kate had done it. Told her. I didn't care that one day Emma would call Kate Mom. That didn't bother me. What bothered me was how hard it would be on Emma the way Kate had gone about it.

Kate wasn't ever going to be her Mother. She was going to go to jail, she had lost all her parental rights, and I had to deal with the exact situation I had been trying to avoid. It had been hard enough to get Emma to accept not having a Mom. Now, she knew she did, she possibly loved her, and will never see her again. I had to take on the role of the person taking that from her. And that pissed me off.

"Is she okay?" I asked, pushing the obstacles I would face later to the back of my mind. Right now, all that mattered was that she was okay.

"She has a broken collar bone. Ms. Denali stated it happened when Emma threw a tantrum and wouldn't listen. Kate claims she tried to calm her down by picking her up, and she wiggled out of her arms, causing her to fall down three steps. There isn't another scratch or mark on her. She just has to keep it stabilized in the sling; she was seen at a free clinic. That is where the man recognized them. He didn't want to scare them away, so he followed them home, and then made the call to us."

My heart sunk. Emma was hurt. She had never had worse than a scraped knee before. "We have been speaking with Kate about the past four months. It seems in about March she started to become manic. We don't believe she has used drugs, but we do believe she needs medication. She states she hasn't slept in over three days."

"So, the past month my daughter has been taken care of by a manic? And you say she is okay aside from a broken collar bone?" I asked, stunned. I didn't want to come across as mean or rude, but I would not classify my daughter as okay. The little girl that used to attack me with hugs and kisses every time I walked into a room, now wouldn't even talk to me on the phone.

"Mr. Cullen, she is a lot better than most little girls that get kidnapped," he said. "Just be thankful that nothing worse happened."

I didn't really want to discuss with him the well being of my daughter, I just wanted to get to her. Tell her how much I loved her, how much I missed her.

"Where will she be until I get there?" I asked. "I can get on the next flight out of Philadelphia." I looked at Bella and asked, "Bella, can you go find a flight for me to Phoenix and one back for me and Emma?"

"Social services is going to get her, and place her somewhere. She can't really stay here," the police captain told me. I didn't want her to be even more confused.

"Isn't there any way to avoid that? I'd rather not have her be forced to stay anywhere."

"Edward," Bella interjected. I looked up at her. "My parents are in Phoenix, I talked to them earlier. They were planning on coming to meet you, maybe they can go get Emma and we can fly to them," she suggested. "I know Emma doesn't know them, but it's better than the alternative, and my father use to be the chief of police before he retired early, they know him." she pointed out.

"Call them, or text them. However you can get in touch with them, please," I begged her.

"I may have family in the area that can come get her, is that okay?" I asked.

"Sure, Mr. Cullen. Just give us a call and let us know what arrangements you have made to get her," the captain said.

"Thank you so much," I told him. I took his phone number and frantically jumped around trying to get things in order. I had so many people I needed to call. Work first. Of course they understood and were very happy that I was getting my daughter back.

I called my family, and gave them the great news, and Bella told me her parents had agreed to go get Emma. I felt relieved that she wouldn't be placed in some foster or group home until I got there. Sure, Charlie and Renee were strangers, but they would be family. It was better than complete strangers.

"I got us a flight," Bella announced.

"You can't fly pregnant," I said. I wanted her to come. I was mad she wouldn't be there with me when I greeted Emma, I wanted her there.

"I can fly! I called my doctor, who is not you, and she said I could fly," Bella said, as she continued to pack her bag. "I have Emma's favorite baby doll," Bella said with a smile. "I can't wait to see her."

I wanted to tell her about the way Emma was. The way she wouldn't talk to me. The way she had called Kate Mom. I wasn't sure how to say it though, or if she would be upset. I knew she was excited about becoming a family, and she would be hurt that Emma now thought of Kate as her mom, even if she thought that through lies Kate had most likely fed her.

"Good," I smiled at Bella. I went to her and hugged her tight, picking her up off the ground, so happy that Emma was coming home.

"Okay, our flight leaves at nine o'clock tonight, we have got to hurry," Bella informed me. "Let's go get her," Bella beamed.

When I called back the police station in Arizona, I asked more questions about the man responsible for finding my daughter. I wanted to meet him. Emmett wanted to get him the reward money promised.

The police captain said he would meet with just Emmett the next day; he didn't want to take my time away from Emma. I was fine with that. I would forever be thankful to him, and the million dollars Emmett was going to hand over made me feel like less of a jerk for not thanking him in person. The only person I wanted to see was my Emma.

Bella's parents said they could be at the police station for Emma in thirty minutes. I was surprised by their willingness to help. I guess they must not be as bad as I had thought. They did raise Bella, and they asked very few questions when Bella explained to them the situation.

Bella and I rushed to the airport. I told her what I knew, since she had only heard one side of the conversation I had had with the police.

"Bella, there is something else...about Emma. She, um...she didn't want to talk to me. She was calling Kate Mom...I don't know what she thinks or what Kate told her about me, or us...but I just wanted you to know. I hope once she sees me there, she will snap out of it. I don't know. I have no clue what lies Kate told her. But I have a feeling she is going to need a lot of love and attention to fix whatever mess Kate made," I told her.

"Edward...let's just get her home. We will love her, and take care of her, and do whatever she needs to help her readjust, and to know how much we love her. How we searched for her, thought of her every day. She is going to come back with us, and have her room back, and we will be a family." Bella reached out and held my hand as we sat in the back of the plane, waiting to take off.

Once the plane took off, I glanced back at the bathroom that wasn't far from our seats. I looked back at Bella and raised my eyebrows suggestively.

"No way," she said, shaking her head at my suggestion.

"Oh, so you can drag me into some weird bathroom with a clear door, and I can't suggest joining the mile high club. I see," I told her, acting like I was mad.

"Fine," she said, unbuckling her seat belt and walking the few steps to the bathroom. My cock was already jumping with joy. I waited not even a minute before I went into the bathroom to meet her. I was glad she hadn't had enough time to change out of her gray yoga pants. They wouldn't have to come off and they would allow her to stretch her legs wider, unlike the skinny jeans she usually liked to wear. I loved these pants on her though. They allowed her ass to jiggle as she walked.

I kicked the door shut behind me and used the drawstring of her pants to pulling her against my chest. "I love you," I told her before capturing her mouth with mine. I pushed my tongue inside her mouth as she undid the button fly jeans I wore. I moved my hands to her hips and pushed her pants down along with her underwear. Her skin was so soft. Her scent so sweet. I lifted her onto the small sink, and couldn't figure out how to get her legs wrapped around me without taking off her pants. I stared down at them like they were a puzzle.

Bella let out a laugh. "HEY!" I said, "This is a bit more difficult than I had imagined." But then rational thought vanished as Bella stroked my cock.

"Step in them," she said, spreading her knees wide.

"Smart girl," I smirked, as I not so gracefully tried to fit between her legs. I pulled her to the edge of the small sink and reached to stroke her soft folds, finding her incredibly wet for me already. I moaned softly, and moved my dick slowly inside of her. Her legs wrapped tightly around my waist thanks to the stretchy pants.

I held her back with one arm as I started a hard and fast rhythm. I watched Bella arch away from me slightly and use one hand to play with her clit. Her head against the mirror behind her, she looked so beautiful. I didn't know what I liked to look at more, her face or the hand she was using to play with herself.

"God, I love when you touch yourself," I moaned in her ear.

"Fuck!" Bella managed to moan out as she came. I moved harder, faster, letting myself explode inside of her. I leaned my head on her shoulder as I caught my breath. My brow was sweaty as I breathed heavily on her, placing kisses on her neck.

Once my breathing evened out, I wondered how hard I would have to struggle to free myself from the yoga pants. I fell backwards and crashed into the door, but luckily Bella grabbed me, so I didn't hit it hard enough to fall out in the aisle with my dick hanging out. Bella laughed, and I kissed her as I helped her adjust her clothes.

"You think that's funny?" I asked, kissing her nose. She bit her lip and smirked at me as she slowly buttoned the five buttons to my pants.

I left the bathroom first, letting Bella have the space she needed to clean up. The stewardess rolled her eyes at me as I took my seat. We weren't the first to do that, and we wouldn't be the last. I just smirked at her, as Bella took her seat. I leaned over to her and kissed her cheek, telling her I loved her again.

No one could ruin the good mood I was in. In a matter of hours I would have my daughter in my arms.

**BPOV**

Edward and I jumped into the first cab we could flag down. We had about twenty minutes until we got to my parents' house. I wasn't surprised they had offered to help out. I knew they would. They always helped me when I told them there was a need. But I didn't like to ask for help when I had other options. So, when they told me they would rather travel during a holiday than stay home with me, sure, it left me alone, but I had Alice. And now thanks to them ditching me for Egypt, I had Edward.

"Here we are," I told Edward. I had butterflies in my stomach. I knew Emma had been with Kate for four months, she was bound to believe things that weren't true, but my heart couldn't take it if she was mad at Edward.

Edward shoved a fifty at the cab driver and ran towards my parents' rancher. I don't even think the cab had come to a complete stop. "Keep it," he yelled back over his shoulder.

I ran after him when it was safe to exit, forgetting the bags, just as anxious as he was to see Emma. I walked quickly but carefully to catch up to him. My Dad answered the door without Emma.

"You must be Edward," he said. "Emma is inside, she hasn't said much. She is watching i-something or another."

"Thank you," Edward said quickly and politely as he rushed to Emma.

"Emma, baby," he said, kneeling in front of her. Her arm was in the sling as she held it close to her body. She didn't look at him; she just looked sadly down in her lap.

As I watched my eyes filled with tears, my heart breaking for Edward.

"Emma, Princess, it's Daddy. I missed you so much. Every day. I looked for you every day, Emma," Edward told her, as his own tears spilled over. "Em, Ka- I mean, your mom, she didn't tell me she was taking you. She didn't call me or tell me where you were. I love you," he told her. He reached for her hair, and stroked the back of her head as she looked up at him. Her eyes filled with tears of her own.

"You is habing a new baby wif Belwa. You don't need me no more," Emma said, looking back down.

"That isn't true! Bella and I love you! We need you, Emma. We love you. We _want_ you. No one is replacing you. That is impossible," Edward told her. "Remember Baby, I am Horton, your Mom was lost and couldn't hatch you, so I did. I promised I would. I meant what I said and I said what I meant," Edward started quoting the book to Emma. But she finished in a small voice, "An elephant's faithful one hundred percent."

"Yeah, remember that?" Edward asked with a smile. Emma nodded at him carefully.

"You were wooking for me?" Emma asked.

"Every day," Edward told her. "And Bella too," Edward added, pointing back at me. I smiled at her, not sure if she hated me more than Edward because of the lies Kate had told her. "And Bella _is_ having a baby, and you are going to be a very big part of it, because you get to be a big sister!" Edward said excitedly.

"Weally?" Emma smiled brighter. Edward nodded at her, and that was all it took. She jumped up and into his arms, wrapping her good arm around his neck.

"I love you sooooo much," Edward told her.

"I wove you more," Emma giggled.

I could stop holding my breath. Kate had tried, but she had failed. There was no way she could have undone the love Edward had given Emma for the past three years, even in four months.

"Is your arm okay, baby? What happened?" Edward asked. "She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"I not want to eat tacos again. Momma made tacos every time for dinner. Den, I kicked her when she tried to pick me up, and I feel down da steps," Emma explained.

"Okay, Daddy will take you to the doctors again, just to be safe," Edward told her.

I went over and got down next to Emma. "Hey Bug," I said, letting more tears spill down my cheeks. "I really missed you, ya know? I thought about you every day, and I was really sad you weren't with your Daddy," I told her.

"You can't be my Mommy, Kate is my Mommy. Did you know dat?" Emma asked, and it didn't hurt. Because it was the truth, Emma just knew it now.

"I knew that, Bug, but I still love you. I still want to take care of you and help you. I still want you to be the best big sister ever to baby I'm having," I told her. "I can be just Bella."

"Emma," Edward began, lifting her to his lap. "Your Mommy, Kate, she is in a lot of trouble. It was very bad of her to take you without telling me. The cops say she broke the law, do you understand what that means?"

"She woves me, she wanted to take care of me since you was busy wif Belwa and da new baby," Emma said.

"But, Daddy takes care of you. You live with me, and she didn't ask me if she could do that, and that was wrong. I never told her I was too busy for you..._ever_. Kate broke the rules. And you know when you break rules you get in trouble?" Edward asked, as Emma nodded. "Well, you get time out, and grown-ups go to jail."

"So, I don't have a Mommy no more?" Emma asked. Poor girl didn't know which way was up thanks to Kate.

"No, you do. She will always be your Mommy. But for now, Daddy and Bella are going to take care of you."

I was painfully aware that my parents were in the room watching all of this go down, and they had just found out about the man I had fallen in love with today. It was awkward but I tried to look past it. I didn't want to ruin the moment for Edward.

Emma snuggled into Edward's arms, and he kissed her head. I was on cloud nine watching them.

"We made up the guest room for you and Emma," my mom told Edward. "Bella, your bedroom is always ready for you," she pointed out to me.

I glared at her, was she serious? I wasn't allowed to sleep with Edward here? "Why? Edward and I live together, and I'm carrying his child. I think it's a bit late to try and keep us in separate rooms," I said.

"When you are a married women you can share a bed with a man in my house, but you are not," my father pointed out. I knew he wanted to say more, but was respectful enough of Edward's role as a father to Emma to not do it with her right there.

I looked at Edward, who I knew didn't want to discuss his plans of making me his wife with Emma so vulnerable right now. We had both decided it would be best to let Emma adjust back to life with us, have the baby, and then get married.

"Fine. Edward, Emma, and I can stay at the holiday inn, we can have lunch tomorrow to discuss whatever you want, but then Edward needs to be back in Philly for work the day after," I told them.

"Bells, you don't have to do that," my Dad said.

"Yeah, Bella, it's fine. I mean, as I see it from a father's perspective. I wouldn't like it if it were Emma," Edward said. I glared at him then, too. I wanted Emma to see how things were now, that I was there for her. It was important for me to reestablish her trust in me.

"I do, cause we need to show Emma how things are. How we are a family, and you are letting a ring stand in the way of that," I told him.

"Well, don't go. I never gave you your Christmas present."

"Dad, Christmas was like six months ago," I laughed.

"Here," he said, and tossed me a set of keys.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Found an old Chevy pick-up, fixed it up for you, thought you could use something to drive in Philly," my dad smiled.

"Dad, that's great really, but Edward already bought me a car," I told him. I didn't want to make him feel bad, but it was the truth.

"Oh, well, you didn't have to do that Edward," my dad said, looking at him.

"I wanted to. I want to take care of her, and she is having my child, and I do intend to make this right in your eyes, but until then, it doesn't mean I will wait to do the things a husband does for his wife. She needed a car, I got her a car. No big deal," Edward said, as Emma nodded off to sleep.

"What kind of car?" my mother asked.

"It's just a Volvo XC90," I told her. I didn't want them to make a big deal out of the fact that I drove a forty thousand dollar car.

"A luxury car, no big deal," my Dad said, rocking on his feet.

"It's safe, and it's got the room we need," Edward said, pointing out the reasons he had bought the car.

"What about school, Bella? Are you done with that now that you have yourself a rich doctor to take care of you?" I couldn't believe my dad was acting this way.

"No, I am going to make up the classes this summer, take off the fall to have the baby, start back up in the spring, do the summer again, then fall, and I will be right back on track. And Edward's money has nothing to do with anything," I was about to say that he didn't make that much as a resident. That he worked long hours, and got paid shitty. That he just budgeted really well, and that we weren't really sure how we were going to pay for childcare for two kids.

The places we had looked into for an infant were all around two hundred a week, while Emma's would be about one hundred and twenty. Three hundred and twenty dollars a week did not seem like it was doable. At all. It was the only reason I wished Rose would move to Philly too. Alice was too busy in school, and we really didn't know anyone else.

"Excuse me," Edward said. "But I want to put her to bed, are we staying or going?" Edward asked. I could tell he was annoyed with the discussion of his money. And my lack of it.

"We are going," I answered for my parents. I wasn't going to put up with their judgments all night.

"At least take the truck to the hotel, Bells, then you don't have to wait for a cab," Charlie told me.

"Cool, thanks. We will call you in the morning," I said, opening the door for Edward.

"Thank you for getting her. It means the world to me," Edward told my parents as they walked us to the front door. I quickly hugged them both.

We climbed into the beat up truck and I began to drive as Edward held onto his daughter. "I'm sorry about them," I told him.

"No, they are just concerned. I am glad they care, and they are just a bit odd. It's better than what I thought before, that they didn't care at all," Edward said as we bumped down the desert road.

"Everything is going to be okay," I told him.

"It had better be; I can't take anymore drama," Edward smirked at me.

**Please review, she is home! Tell me all about your ride through this chapter! Then pop on over to the twilighted thread to chat about it with us. **

**I will post a teaser there – maybe tonight depends on how this Ambien kicks my ass. **


	14. Chapter 14

**SM Owns not me**

**Ownedbytwins did the beta'ing! **

**Enjoy! **

**BPOV**

The three of us checked into the hotel; the only room available was one with two double beds. I happily smiled at Edward and told him I would be fine sleeping alone. Emma needed him much more than I did.

Edward carried her into the room. Her face was so peaceful as it rested on his shoulder. "I can just put her in this bed, Bella," Edward offered.

"No, if she wakes up, and is alone in a strange hotel room, she might get really upset. It's fine Edward, really," I told him, as he cradled Emma's head so he could gently place her on the pillow. He stroked her face after he pulled the covers over her, and kissed her forehead. His lips lingered there for several seconds before he pulled away.

"How are you doing?" he asked me, sitting on the bed with me.

"I'm a bit tired from today, but all in all, I am just so happy she is home," I told him as I snuggled into his chest. He stroked my hair lovingly as I lay on his chest, his heartbeat against my cheek, his chest raising and falling steadily. After a few minutes, I peeked up and noticed he was fast asleep.

I smiled at him as I got up, and walked to the other bed to get Emma. I really didn't want her to wake up without him close by. When I picked her up, her body startled and she let out a small cry. I placed her on Edward's chest, her good arm down, letting her cheek rest on his heart, and soon their breathing matched as they both slept peacefully.

I climbed into the empty bed, actually happy I wouldn't be fighting over blankets or space with anyone for one night.

**EPOV**

I woke up covered in sweat, the heat from Emma's body soaking my t-shirt. I never was so happy to have my little heat rock. She was cuddled on my side, her mouth open in a small O as she slept.

I didn't want to get up, so I just stared at her. I took in her perfect features and her small fingers. The length of her eye lashes and the small light freckles that dotted her little button nose. Her creamy complexion and rosy cheeks. She was a little taller, and a little thinner than the last time I had seen her.

I hoped it was because she had grown taller that she was thinner and not that she hadn't been well taken care of. Her face had thinned out a little and the plump cheeks she had once had were disappearing. It was like looking at a mini person now, not a baby.

Her eyelids started to flutter, and her face began to contort into a sad face. She began to whimper and cry.

"Emma," I said. "It's okay. Daddy's got you," I soothed her. Sometimes she woke up crying if she didn't get enough sleep, but her eyes weren't opening. She was having a nightmare.

She was calling for me between her sobs. I picked her up, being careful of her arm in the sling. "Em," I said, "Wake up, baby. Daddy's here." I kissed her forehead and she woke, startled.

Her crying became louder with her now fully aware state. I didn't know what she was dreaming, but I knew I couldn't say it's just a bad dream, because for all I knew for the past four months she had been crying in her sleep for me.

"Where's Momma? She don't sleep," Emma asked, looking around.

"Remember Emma, we talked about your Mom last night?" I asked. I hated that I had to call her that now. But I didn't want to make Emma upset. "She broke a big rule when she didn't tell me she was taking you," I reminded her.

Emma just nodded, sniffling. I held her closer. All the noise had woken up Bella, who sat up and smiled at Emma. Emma turned her face into my shoulder and hid her face from Bella.

I tilted my head to the empty spot on the bed next to us, inviting Bella over. She climbed into the bed with me and Emma, and Emma withdrew even further into her shy shell.

"Emma, say good morning to Bella," I said, pulling back, trying to get her to peek out.

"How's my love Bug?" Bella asked, reaching out to touch Emma's hand. Emma whined and jerked her hand away.

"Emma," I said, a bit surprised at her reaction. She only dug her head further into me. "I'm sorry," I whispered to Bella.

She only smiled sadly at me. "It's fine," she said, placing a kiss on my cheek before getting out of the bed, and going to the bathroom.

I flipped on the TV and settled Emma down to watch Spongebob before I went and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Just a minute!" Bella called out, and a few seconds later she opened the door. I could tell she had been crying.

"Come here," I said, pulling her into a hug. "It's gonna be okay. Emma is going to come around. She just needs some time," I told her. "Just be who you have always been with her, okay?"

Bella nodded into my shoulder, she wiped her eyes and sniffled. "Hey," I said, placing my hand under her chin. "I love you," I assured her.

"I love you, too," she said. I leaned down and kissed her.

"Stop!" Emma yelled, pulling my arm away from Bella. "Dats my Daddy!" she yelled.

"Emma," I began, before Bella interjected.

She got on her knees and looked Emma right in the eyes, "He is your Daddy," she told her. "And he loves you, and I am not trying to take that from him, or from you," Bella said, holding Emma's hand.

Emma pulled it away with another whiny scream. "Emma," I began, getting down next to Bella. "I love you, and I love Bella. Bella loves you, and she loves me," I told her. "And there are all kinds of love," I told her, not really sure how much she could ever grasp. I paused as I tried to find the right words. "The way I love you is different than the way I love Bella. And just because I love Bella, it doesn't mean there is less room in my heart for you. Our hearts don't run out of room to love, they grow bigger with the more people we love," I told her.

"Emma just want her Daddy!" Emma screeched.

"Emma, Bella is in our family now, and soon the new baby will be here," I reminded her.

"No new baby! Onwe my Daddy!" Emma demanded, clinging to my side.

Bella stood up, and I was confused. Was she giving up? "Bella!" I called out. I picked up Emma and went after her; there wasn't much room for her to get away. I saw her pull open the suitcase with Emma's things. She brought out the baby doll Emma loved.

"I brought this for you, Emma. When the police called to tell us you were found, this is the first thing I picked up for you, your baby. I know you love her, and you're such a good Mommy to her. She really missed you," Bella said, handing Emma her doll.

Emma grabbed it quickly from Bella's arms, and hugged it to her chest. Bella began to take out an outfit for Emma. "She probably needs a bath," Bella said, taking out Emma's princess bubbles and tear free shampoo.

I hadn't even thought about packing that for Emma. Of course she would need a bath, and it would be good to bring things familiar to her from before.

"Bella," I began.

"Edward," she said, meeting my eyes. I could see how hurt she was, and how she was trying to be strong. Be the Bella she had always been to Emma. "I'm going to cancel lunch with my parents, I don't think now is the time," she started to tell me, making her way to the bathroom. I heard the water come on, and the tub begin to fill as she spoke, "To deal with all our issues with them." She spoke louder so her voice carried over the water. "I think we need to get Emma home, into a routine with us, that's most important," she finished.

"Look, Bug," Bella smiled, "Princess bubbles! Your favorite!" Bella exclaimed, holding up a hand full of suds, as I undressed Emma.

"Daddy gimme baff! Not Belwa!" Emma said with a scowl.

"I don't have to give you a bath, Emma. Daddy will, if that's what you want," Bella told her.

I placed Emma in the bath, making sure to be careful with her arm; it only seemed to hurt when she moved it. "Edward, I'm going to change our flight back home to today and call my parents," Bella said. "I know Emmett is flying in to meet that guy, but I think we should get home as soon as possible," she suggested.

"Okay," I said, pouring some water over Emma's head. I agreed. Staying here longer would only delay Emma's need to get reacquainted with everything.

I started to chastise myself for moving to Philadelphia. When I last had Emma, Bella wasn't in our daily lives, we lived by ourselves, and now she had to get used to Bella, a new home, and a new baby. It was too much for her. I should have seen it. I should have known that when she returned things needed to be like she remembered them.

What was I going to do about it now? There wasn't much I could do. I had some super-sonic sperm and life had continued while Emma had been gone.

"Tell me what you did when I wasn't around?" I asked Emma, as I gently cleaned her hair.

"We played lots, Wiley got me a swide and sandbox, Mommy got me lots of Barbies. I wike Barbies." Emma smiled.

"Who is Wiley?" I asked. No one had mentioned anyone else involved.

"Momma's boyfriend," Emma told me. "He took care of my sunburnt," she added.

"He was nice to you?" I asked.

"Ah huh," Emma nodded.

"Cause you can tell Daddy if anyone ever hurts you, you know that, right?" I asked, a little sick to my stomach as thoughts invaded of him hurting her in anyway.

"I want to tell you about what happened when you were away from me," I told her. "You know how Bella lives far away in Philadelphia with Aunt Alice right?" Emma nodded. "Well, once she heard that I couldn't find you, she came to our house, and she stayed with me because I was so sad, and so was she. And we did everything we could to try and find you, but soon Daddy had to start his new job in Philadelphia. Then we found out about the baby in Bella's belly, so Daddy and Bella got a new house to live in by my new work. And Bella and Aunt Alice worked really hard on your new room. They brought everything from our old house, even the walls!" I told her, thinking about the artwork Alice had painted. "So, when we get to our new house, Bella is going to live there with us," I told her.

"I just want my Dadda," Emma said softly.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby, okay? Bella loves you too though, okay?" I said, rinsing the soap from her hair.

"Belwa want to be my Mommy, not let my weal Mommy do it," Emma said.

"That's not true, Emma. Bella wants to love you, anyway you will let her, because she loves you," I told her as I let the water drain out of the tub.

I dried off Emma, and put her in the clothes Bella had packed for her. I looked at the tag on the capris, 4T. "Bella," I called out. "Where did you get these?" I asked. I knew I hadn't bought her summer clothes yet, and I knew I hadn't bought her any clothes a size bigger.

"I bought them a few days ago, I wanted to have clothes ready for when she got home," Bella explained.

"You think of everything," I told her, helping Emma slip into the capris.

"I got her new low top chucks too, a size bigger, just in case," Bella said, tossing me green and pink plaid sneakers that, surprisingly, fit Emma perfectly.

"Thanks Bella, can you tell Bella thank you?" I asked Emma.

"Tank you," Emma said softly, as I tied her new shoes.

Bella smiled and said, "It was my pleasure," before she looked at me and added, "and your money," with a smirk.

"Bella, we need to find out about this Wiley character before we go, Emma said he was living with her and Kate, Kate's boyfriend, I want to make sure there is nothing out of place with him," I told her.

"Can't we ask Emmett to look into it?" she asked me.

"Yeah, I'll give him a call. I actually have to make a few phone calls. I want everyone to come see Emma, but I don't want it to be too much for her."

I sat Emma down at the table by the window and opened up a small fruit cup for her to eat, and her favorite chocolate milk box. I went to help Bella get all our things together, and kissed her temple.

"You are amazing, I don't say that enough. But thank you. For everything." I told her as I folded some clothes.

"I know," she shrugged with a smile.

"Emma will come around, just gotta give her some time," I assured her.

"I know that too," she said, and this time her smile was more genuine. "My mom and dad are going to come get the truck; I talked to them and explained we don't have time to deal with their sudden interest in my life. That maybe in a few weeks depending on how Emma is they can come and visit. I just can't deal with them right now," Bella said shaking her head, attempting to keep her tears from falling. It was no use. They came.

"AHH!" she yelled in a low pitch tone. "I am fine," she said, wiping her cheeks with a smile. "These damn hormones," she chuckled.

**BPOV**

We had been home for two weeks. Emma wasn't sure how to act, or what was hers, except in her room. I had been the one to watch her while Edward worked, and it was going about as well as Chinese water torture.

All I could do for her was give her food, put on the TV, and 'go away'. It hurts. By the end of each day the war between her hate for me and my love for her had always taken its toll on us both. As soon as Edward arrived home, she would smile. And cling.

I tried to shake it off when she told me he is hers. She stopped saying "He is my Daddy!" and started saying "He is mine!"

As my stomach grew bigger, providing more evidence to Emma that there was an actual baby in there, I thought it might be a good thing. I could feel the baby kicking, and went to Emma, hoping to share with her the wonderful feeling.

"Hey Bug, feel your baby brother or sister kicking," I told her.

"No!" she yelled, crossing her arms and turning away from me.

"I want to feel," Edward said, trying to get Emma involved. He came over and placed his hand on my small bump, and the baby moved against his hand. "Wow, I can feel it," Edward smiled.

"My Dadda! My Dadda owny!" Emma yelled, jerking Edward's hand from my stomach.

"Emma Cullen!" Edward said sternly to her, "that was not nice!" he took her hand and led her to the designated time out spot. "You sit here for three minutes and think about why that was not nice," Edward said.

We had started to do counseling. And although the counselor said to give her some leeway, she also told us that we shouldn't look the other way when she behaved badly.

"Oh well," I said, rubbing my stomach. "Maybe once we know what sex it is, and give him or her a name, she will come around, maybe she will want to help do the nursery with Alice and me," I said, trying not to be too discouraged by Emma's trouble adjusting to this new life.

I tried to get over it as fast as I could. I went in every night with Edward to say goodnight. Even on the nights he wasn't home, I picked a book and read it to her; even if she did turn away and seemingly ignore every word I said. I told her every night I loved her, hoping one day she would at least look at me when I told her.

Edward and I found out a week before Emma's birthday that we were expecting a boy. The doctors' office printed us off a ton of photos, and Edward even got them to give us the tape of the ultrasound. He was so excited. I was so excited, too, but that was the day that part of my resolve broke.

We pulled in the driveway, smiling. I couldn't wait to tell Alice, who had been with Emma while we were at the doctor. As soon as we walked in the front door, Edward said "It's a boy!" Alice hugged him, and then me.

"That is awesome, guys!" she said, as she riffled through the 3-D ultrasound picture.

"Look Em," I said, taking a picture of his profile. Edward brought her over, since she wouldn't come simply because I asked her too. I held the picture in front of her. "This is your baby brother, see his nose and his eye, and there are his lips...his nose looks a little like yours, don't you think?" I asked her.

"Emma not share he Daddy wiff new baby! No baby broder!" she said, storming off.

I looked at Edward and shook my head. I tossed the picture on the counter, and threw my arms up. "I don't know what to do; nothing is right," I told him. He came over and hugged me, which only sent Emma into a full blown temper tantrum. Kicking the walls with her feet as she lay on her back, screaming so loud the neighbors surely heard. All while screaming at me, "Get off! He's mine!"

I stepped out of the hug, and went to the bedroom, while Edward made Emma sit in time out for her bad attitude.

"Bella!" Edward said, coming into the room. I wiped the tears, and let Edward hug me.

"Emma!" we heard Alice yell, "No! No! That is not nice at all!"

Edward and I both went out to see what was going. Emma held the corner of the first picture of my son; the rest were shredded at her feet.

"No broder!" she said again.

"Oh my God, Emm! What are you doing?" Edward asked, not really expecting Emma to answer him.

He looked at me, and knew how hurt I was. I knew he was hurt too, and he took Emma and placed her back in time out.

I went to the picture, and began to try and piece it back together, my feelings hurt deeply. I knew Emma wasn't aware of how much her actions would hurt us. She didn't do it to spite us, I knew all this logically, but I didn't have much patience and understanding left.

Edward came over and helped me pick up the pictures. I wiped my cheeks, and he looked at me sadly. I had never felt so angry at a child before, and I didn't want that to taint everything. I took a clearing breath, and Edward helped me up, steadying me on my feet.

"I'm going to talk to her," he said. Of course he was going to, he always talked to her.

After her three minutes was up, Edward went over and sat in front of her. She wanted to hug him immediately, but he blocked the hug, something I had never seen him do before.

"I love you, Emma. I loved you when you were in your Mommy's belly. Bella has a baby in her belly, and I love him like I love you. And I have this picture of you," Edward said, pulling out an old ultrasound photograph of Emma, that he must have pulled out of her baby book. "And if someone ripped it up, my heart would be hurt. And you hurt Daddy's heart, and Bella's heart by ripping up the picture of your brother. Do you have a picture you love, Emma?" I heard him ask. I peeked around and saw her point to the picture of her and Edward. "I love that one, too. Would your feelings be hurt if someone ripped it up?" he asked.

Again, Emma didn't speak. She nodded yes, looking ashamed. "I think you need to say sorry," Edward added.

"Sorry Daddy," she said, hugging him.

"And sorry to who else?" he asked her.

"Belwa," Emma said, looking across the room at me. She stood up and walked over to me. She hugged my leg, and my hands stroked her hair; it was my first hug from her since we found her. "Sorry Belwa," Emma said, then pulled away.

I smiled; I hoped it would continue to get better. But it didn't, not really.

**EPOV**

_May 13, 2010 Emma's 4__th__ birthday._

Everyone is here. And I mean everyone. My parents, her parents, Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper.

I noticed Emmett walking my way, then handing me a beer he had cracked open, as I manned the grill out back. I watched Emma play on the large swing set Rose and Emmett got for her birthday. Way too much, way too overboard, but I supposed they had wanted to do something great for her. She loved it. She must have been down the large green slide twenty times in a row with Alice chasing after her.

Bella was sitting at the table beneath the umbrella, the sun blocking her features. Her hand rested on her small baby bump as she talked to her parents and mine.

"How is it going?" Emmett asked me, chugging back some beer.

"Rough," I told him honestly. "Emma...she won't stray far from me. When I go to work, Bella has the hardest time. Emma cries most of the day, afraid I won't come back. I keep coming back, and I just hope it clicks one day that I am always coming home," I told him as I flipped a burger.

"And Bella, how is she?" Emmett asked. I looked over at her. Her smile was forced, she struggled to act like everything was okay, but honestly, it was putting a strain on us all. Not just emotionally but physically. I hadn't touched Bella intimately in almost two months.

"She is doing her best... Emma, she hasn't been very excited about the new baby. Bella and Alice try to include her in stuff, and she wants nothing to do with it. Bella even found her ripping up an ultrasound picture that she had showed Emma earlier, trying to get her excited." I took a swig of my beer, and thought about how Bella was the only one Emma had had trouble adjusting too, and thanks to Riley I know exactly why.

Turns out, Riley, not Wiley, is the one who had turned Kate in. He had made a deal with the DA and didn't get the reward money, but thanks to everything he had told us, I certainly understood why Emma felt threatened by Bella. Because Kate felt threatened by Bella, and she voiced that, and now Emma had picked up on it.

Emma stayed home with Bella two days a week, the other days, she went to daycare. Because Bella wasn't allowed to hug her, or help her if she got upset. But Emma also had to learn to let Bella be there for her.

"Wow, I'm sorry dude," Emmett said, placing his hand on my back.

"Yeah, I keep telling Bella to just treat her like she always has, that she will come around. And I hate sending her to daycare when Bella is able and willing to care for her. But it's just too much stress for both of them. Emma has to get used to Bella again. That's why on Tuesday and Thursday, Emma stays home with Bella. But those are the worst nights. I go to tuck Emma in bed, and I can't leave. Bella can't touch me, or sit next to me. And Emma has these melt downs when she sees me touch Bella's stomach. All of it wears out Bella too; the last thing she wants is the evil stepmother label on her from that conniving bitch," my hand shook as I pulled off a few burgers, I was so pissed. Every time I thought of her, of all the problems my family was faced with because of her, I felt like I might explode.

Before I knew what is happening, my fist had made contact with the concrete wall behind the grill.

"Edward, you have got to stop taking your anger out on your hand!" Emmett laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, really funny Emmett," I said, holding up my fist. Bella got up; she seemed to be moving in slow motion as she came to my side.

I didn't understand the words she was speaking to me as she ran my fist under the kitchen sink. My ears were ringing, and then suddenly it stopped. I heard the water, I heard Bella. "Edward, what is going on?" she asked me, concerned.

"Nothing, just mad at Kate, Emmett was asking some questions and I got pissed," I explained to her.

"All the cuts are superficial. No stitches this time," Bella told me, handing me some wrapped up ice.

"The counseling, it doesn't seem to be working, Bella. I don't know what to do about Emma, and you, and the baby. I am really worried about Emma's behavior when he arrives."

"It's just going to take time, Edward. We need to correct her bad behavior, and continue to love her. We can't avoid things normal couples do because she flips out. You can't not kiss me hello when you come in because Emma will get upset; it's our life now. She needs to see that I am not the bad guy. And I know you try, and I also know there are nights you come home and you walk on egg shells because you are too tired to deal with her. Which doesn't help me!" she tells me. This is the first time she has called me out on this, and it's no wonder she has been a little depressed the past week.

But, it made my heart ache to see Emma cry, and to be the one causing the tears.

"I'm sorry, baby," I leaned over and kissed her mouth. Her mouth opened against mine, and this was the most physical we had been in a long time. I missed the way her tongue worked against my cock. And I was hard at a four year old's birthday party with my future father in law in staring daggers through the kitchen window at us.

Great. Still haven't had a chance to talk to them about everything. I know it's coming. As soon as Emma is in bed, we have to talk to Bella's parents.

Really, _really_ not looking forward to that.

I pulled Bella away from the window, into a hallway where we couldn't be seen. I knew she had felt my hardness pressing against her, and I kissed her again. Passionately. I wanted her to know I loved her.

"Edward, we can't," she said, pulling away. I placed my finger on her lips with a "shhh." I got down on my knees in front of her and placed my ear to her belly, and my hands on either side of the small bump.

Bella's hands grabbed at my hair, as I whispered how much I loved him, how much I loved her. Because she needed to know, and in my attempts to bring Emma back, I had neglected Bella. It occurred to me that Emma would never be the same again. Kate had taken things from us - time, love, and I can't erase time.

I cried against Bella's stomach, so hurt. I mourned the pieces inside Emma that were broken, which would possibly always be with her, the stress it caused me, and Bella. The attention it took away from my son.

I knew in that moment, Kate may be in jail because of her mistake, but we were the ones still suffering over it. The little girl I had raised was unsure, and untrusting. She was angry and didn't know how to cope with it, and it was all because of Kate.

She was angry at Bella because she thought she was trying to take her place. Was she angry at me for taking Kate from her? She was angry at having to share me. Possibly unsure of how long she would have me. Wondering if I would leave, or someone would take her again.

"Edward," I heard Bella breathe. She sunk down to my level and held my unshaven face. "Edward," she said again. "We are going to make it through this, it just takes time, I am here for better or for worse," she told me.

"Yeah, but you aren't because I haven't even asked you properly or gotten you a ring," I pointed out more of the ways I had failed her.

"Edward, you could ask to marry me on a post it note, and I would save it forever," Bella said. She placed a kiss on my scruffy cheek.

"See, I'm not even as thoughtful as Derek Shepard!" I half laugh, half cried.

I used to have one person, who was the most important, and that was easy. She was so easy to please when it was just the two of us, but now I had three. And if I did right by one I felt like I had failed the other and vice versus. "I'm failing here, I don't know how to get all this to work. I don't know how to love you and our son, and not hurt Emma. It scares me Bella," I told her.

"No Edward, I am failing! I don't know what to do to make Emma love me again! I am failing her! I don't know what else I can do for her," Bella began to cry. I held her close, so lost, so confused.

I jumped up, and ran to the kitchen. I grabbed a pen and my prescription pad from my white lab coat that hung in hallway closet.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked. On the first sheet, I began to write.

_Isabella Swan, I promise to love you forever, to care for you, and be the best man I can be for you. And for our children. I promise no matter how hard things get, you can count on me. I love you. Edward._

I ripped it off and handed it to her, "I know I totally stole it, but I mean it, and mine is cheesier, like a prescription of love," I laughed at my own corniness. "And soon, I'm gonna do it right," I told her.

Bella held her mouth as she read it, more tears coming to her eyes. She took the pen and peeled off her prescription. And started to write one of her own. She handed it to me and I read it.

_Edward Cullen, I love you for everything you are, the father, the lover, the friend. I promise never to leave your side, or go to bed mad. I promise to love your daughter as if she were my own, and do everything in my power to make you happy every day of the rest of our lives. Forever yours, Bella._

"We did it," Bella said. "We had our own little wedding, and who cares if there was a priest or a big fancy dress, we don't need it, we just need our promises," Bella said, and I kissed her.

"We will do it again," I told her. I wasn't going to take that experience from her.

"As long as you read me your prescription for love, I will marry you every day, any day," Bella smiled.

"We have guests," Bella reminded me.

I shrugged. They were here for Emma, not us. Let them have their time with her. I swept Bella off her feet, and carried her upstairs.

"I can be quick, and efficient," I smirked at her, as I placed her on the bed. I pushed her dress up and kissed her belly, and it dawned on me that although I was a father, I had never been intimate with a pregnant women before. I wasn't scared of hurting her, or the baby. I was just elated that I got to share it with Bella.

Bella shrugged off the small sweater she had been wearing over the dress, and sat up to meet my lips with hers. I kneeled in front of her as she worked on getting my pants off, only stopping to raise her arms so I could pull the cotton dress over her head.

I worked on unclasping her bra as she pushed my pants over my hips, and put her mouth over my aching cock.

"Shiiiitttt," I moaned, as her tongue swirled around the head of my penis. Her left hand was on my ass, and her right was cupping my balls. My fingers threaded through her hair, and I didn't move her head, I just moved with it. With each stroke of her mouth my dick moved in further.

I grunted when finally her mouth was at the base of my cock, my balls at her chin. I held her head in place there for a moment before she slowly withdrew. Her tongue teased me again; she licked the pre cum off the head of my cock before engulfing me in her mouth again. This time, she didn't remove her mouth, she stayed at the base as my hardness rested in the back of her throat and she moved back and forth quickly, and her mouth grew moister, as I curved down her throat, and her fingers dug into my ass cheeks.

She stopped and looked up at me, a small smile on her face as she licked her lips in satisfaction.

I pulled her up to my level and kissed her, dominating her mouth with my tongue. My tongue traveled down her neck, to her full breasts and I flicked her nipples with my outstretched tongue, as my fingers slipped into her slick pussy.

I could feel my fingers covered in her juices, as my mouth worked on her breasts. I removed my index finger from her and inserted my thumb in her pussy, as I slipped my slick finger into her tight ass.

"Fuuuuccck," she grunted, as she pulled my hair, shoving my mouth harder onto her breast.

"Get on your knees, baby," I told her, aching to be inside her. She turned over, steadying herself on her elbows, her ass raised.

I felt the smooth skin on her hips, her ass cheeks, and lined myself up behind her. I slipped in her slick pussy while I massaged her ass cheeks. I pulled out slowly, then pushed back in, sliding in and out with ease.

Bella collapsed on the bed, the side of her face in the mattress, moving her hips and ass so I was moving into her at a higher angle. I was surprised when she moved her hand to her ass cheek, and spreads it open, telling me in a husky tone to finger her ass.

I reached for the lube and let it drip onto her, as she spreads her ass cheeks for me. I slipped my finger in again. I moved it further in until I could feel my cock on the other side of her thin walls. Bella went to move her hands but I stopped her.

"Keep it spread for me," I didn't ask her, I told her. I moved my finger in and out her ass, my cock in and out her pussy, and then I added another finger to her tight ass.

She kept her ass spread for me a little longer, but then moved one hand so she could play with her clit.

"I want to come in your ass," I whispered in her ear; her fingers were still moving against her clit as I withdrew from her pussy.

I spread her ass cheeks again, and her hole was a little bigger from my finger. I pressed the head of my penis against the still too small opening that I had covered with KY. It didn't take long for me to slide inside. Bella's fingers were moving against her clit as I kept her cheeks spread to watch where my dick moved in and out of the tight hole, how it stretched and shrunk when I pulled out. The pleasure of re-entering elicited sounds of pleasure I had never heard Bella make before.

Once I was inside her, pushed as far in as I could have possibly gone, Bella started to rock, her body shaking, she was coming – hard. I held her hips and thrust against her, letting myself explode with her.

"Holy shit," I panted, resting my sweat covered brow on her bare back.

"Quick and efficient?" she mocked me. "I think we need showers after that," Bella laughed. She turned over and lay on her back, her belly poking up. I kissed it again, before placing my head right above it.

"It was efficient," I told her.

"We have to do the cake," Bella reminded me of the iCarly cake she had ordered for Emma.

"Right, well let's freshen up, and go back to our guests, we can shower later – together," I smirked at her as I handed her pieces of her clothes. I helped her flip her dress the right way as I haphazardly buttoned my short sleeved flannel shirt.

"Wait," I said, stopping her at the door. I placed a few of her hairs back in place, and kissed her nose. "I love you," I told her.

"And I love you," she said, opening the door.

When we made it back to everyone, Emmett was manning the grill, and everyone was eating. "Thanks, dude," I told him.

"Anytime," he smiled at me. "You must have really needed to get some, to do it now," Emmett didn't wipe the smile off his face.

"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about," I told him, as Chief Swan came up to get another burger.

"Looks like you missed a few buttons there, Edward," he said, looking down at my shirt.

I looked down, to see how unevenly I had buttoned my shirt. I smiled at him as I unbuttoned it all the way, and didn't bother to fix it, just left it open to my white t-shirt beneath it.

"So, what was that you were saying? I don't know what I'm talking about," Emmett dug in.

"Shut up," I mumbled, taking a bite of the burger he had saved for me. I looked at Bella who was red as a tomato as she sat with our parents, and I couldn't help but laugh.

I made my way over and took the empty seat next to Bella. "Hey, babe," I said, kissing her head as I sat.

"Edward, it's so nice of you to join us," Renee told me, holding her wine glass. "Bella was starving," she pointed out Bella's plate which was almost gone. "She has to keep her strength up for the baby, you know."

"I know," I told her, placing my hand atop her stomach. Bella leaned back in the chair, drinking her water, as I casually sat there resting my hand on our child.

I glanced around the yard for Emma, who was being pushed in her swing by Jasper. He had one arm around Alice and the other was pushing Emma. She giggled and laughed, and Jasper would kiss Alice's cheek every now and again between pushes.

"I want to do that for her," Bella said to me, motioning with her head in their direction.

"Then let's go do that for her," I told her. I took her hand and walked her over to the swing set.

"Daddy!" Emma yelled, happily. She didn't seem to make a fit over the way I held Bella's hand. "Dadda push me!" She giggled.

"Good cause I want Jasper to push me!" Alice said, getting on the swing next to Emma's.

Bella and I stood behind Emma, and I gave her a gentle push, as Jasper pulled Alice back as far as he could and let her go – sending her high. She let out a small scream, surprised that Jasper had not been more gentle, causing us all to laugh.

"I wanna go as high as Aunt Alley!" Emma yelled.

"Oh," I said, perplexed. "I don't think I know how to do that, do you Bella?" I asked, playing dumb.

"I sure do, Jasper taught me everything I know about swings," Bella said, playing along.

"Den, Belwa push me?" Emma asked.

Bella's face lit up with a smile. "I'd love to, Bug," she said. Bella pulled Emma back, not quite as high as Jasper did to Alice, and let her go. Emma sailed high, her hair flowing and her face showing nothing but happiness, all thanks to Bella.

**So, out of all the people that have this story on alert, only about 10% review. So, I am begging for some more of you to review. Come out, tell me what you think. I keep saying this, but it's one of the few rewards FF authors have – reviews. **

**I am running late to clinicals so I can post – keep my phone buzzing all day with review alerts! Kay? Teaser on the thread later in the week!**


	15. Chapter 15

**SM Owns Not me**

**Ownedbytwins did he beta'ing for this chapter! **

**Thanks so much for all the reviews! That blew me away! 250 reviews! Lets see if I can get 300! 400 would make me jump up and down! And 500 wow! I would be blown away! **

**BPOV**

Waking up with Edward was definitely not as enjoyable when my parents were around. I wasn't going to change that, though. Edward had just gotten Emma back to her routine of bedtime stories and going to sleep and actually letting Edward leave the room.

Kate's trial was approaching. They wanted us to make a statement about how she had screwed everything up when they sentenced her, but Edward didn't want to go. Instead, he wrote a letter. How he felt about everything, how Emma will never be the same, how much we are paying for her crime still.

My head rested on Edward's chest as I listened to his heart beat. I didn't want to get up. He slept peacefully. He and Emmett had put back quite a few beers last night at Emma's party. I just hoped he didn't wake up with a hangover. Emma had passed out on the couch, exhausted from all the attention all day, and the boys began to drink.

"So, little brother," Emmett began, wrapping his arm around Edward, "had a good day?" He winked, referring to the mismatched buttons Edward had overlooked earlier.

"Shut it," Edward laughed, pushing away from him. I could feel my father's eyes on us. As if he needed to be reminded more about how much he disapproved of how I was currently living in sin.

"Anyone need anything?" I interjected before Emmett could embarrass us further. I grabbed a few empty beer bottles to recycle.

"Grab me another one, babe?" Edward asked, holding up his almost empty beer.

"Sure," I smiled.

"Me too, Bella," Emmett added.

"For you?" I teased, "Never."

"Oh, don't be salty," Emmett laughed. He knew just as well as I did that I would bring him back a beer.

I made my way into the kitchen and put the empty bottles on the counter to rinse them out. My father followed behind me. I knew he had been biting his tongue all day.

"Need something?" I asked him.

"Listen, Bella, I know since you left for college your mom and I haven't been around for you much," he started. I turned to face him, shutting off the water.

"No, you haven't," I agreed.

"And we were quick to judge…"

"Yes, you were," I agreed again.

"Edward, he is a good guy. His family supported you when we weren't around. Took you in. I'm not going to say I am excited about you living with your boyfriend, or that there isn't even a ring on your finger, but I know he loves you. I just want the best for you," he finished.

"He is," I assured him. My dad held out his arms for a hug. I went over and hugged him, happy that he wasn't going to try and pull some over protective Dad bull shit.

I grabbed the two beers out of the fridge and made my way back outside. Thankfully Emmett had stopped making fun of Edward's sex life, and the conversation now centered around hockey, and Emmett's lack of ability to get his team into the Stanley Cup.

"Emmett, aren't you supposed to be getting me and Jasper tickets to the game on Wednesday night?" Alice asked.

"No, Jasper said to forget it. He didn't want to listen to you gush of Gange all night," Emmett laughed.

Alice shot Jasper a look, because she would be pissed if Jasper really had done that.

"Alice, he is joking. I would never keep you from your boyfriend," Jasper said sarcastically. "Tell her, Emmett."

"Allie my lovely sister, Gags even agreed to meet you," Emmett smiled, taking another sip from his beer.

"No way!" Alice said. "I knew having you for a brother would pay off someday," she exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

Alice had really taken to Philadelphia sports. She loved the excitement and passion the city had. She thought it was great that the 'curse' had been broken. I doubted the miniature statue of William Penn on the Comcast building had had anything to do with the Phillies winning the World Series, but not Alice. She swears it's the only reason. That the mere fact that a miniature William Penn statue sat on the highest building in the city was the curse breaker. Apparently, William Penn got salty. His statue was suppose to be the tallest in the city.

Maybe it is. Who am I to knock superstitions?

"Oh my god, Emmett, you created a monster," I laughed. "Alice will never stop asking you to meet everyone until she has met them all!"

"Not true, I don't need to meet Jeff Carter," Alice winked at me.

"Don't even go there," I warned her. But I knew she would. She was drunk, and she wasn't going to think twice about it.

"Go where?" Edward asked.

"Bella didn't tell you? She was Carter's flavor of the week back in the day," Alice teased me.

"Really?" Emmett and Edward said in unison.

"It was nothing," I told them. "Alice dragged me to the carnival thingy they do every year, I bought an autograph from him...he asked for my number, we hung out a few times. It was stupid," I explained. "He wasn't that great," I shrugged off the few dates we'd had. "He prefers blondes anyway," I added to joke about the whole situation.

"Well, not me. I prefer brunettes," Edward said, kissing my nose. "Jeff Carter? Really?" Edward whispered, holding me close to him. "No Eagles under your belt?" he teased.

"Only football player I'd do is Tom Brady, otherwise I was just keeping my eyes peeled for Cole Hamels," I teased back. But then I started to wonder, was he serious? "We didn't really do this whole thing did we?" I asked. "You know, talk about our sex lives," I clarified. "It's not as if you told me everyone you've slept with."

"So, it was nothing, but now you slept with him?" Edward asked, and I still wasn't sure if he was serious or teasing.

"Edward, really?" I asked. "Are we going to do this now?...It doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I love you. And there will never be another man for me, you are the last."

"You're right. It doesn't matter," he conceded. Emmett pulled his arm, taking him away from me to show him something I couldn't really make out. I went and sat with Alice, and listened to her talk non-stop about how excited she was.

Part of me felt left out, watching Alice and Jasper. I didn't realize how much I had missed them while I was in Seattle with Edward. Lucky for everyone I was pregnant, otherwise I would have a house full of passed out bodies. I had to drive them all back to my old apartment. Rose and Emmett were sleeping in my old room.

**EPOV**

Bella's parents; they were eccentric to say the least. When they came to stay with us a few day, I was expecting to have some sort of 'hurt my daughter, I'll shoot you,' type of conversation with Charlie. But he didn't do it. I don't know if he just believed I had Bella's best interest at heart, or that it was too late.

They stayed a few days, and just got to know us. I say us, because they really don't know Bella. Or how we function as a family. Even if Emma is being difficult. It was obvious they loved Bella, and obvious they struggled to show it.

Charlie liked to tell stories about fishing and Renee liked to brag about her trips around the world. Bella rolled her eyes a lot when she wasn't looking. I'd always smirk at her.

I will admit to enjoying having a guy around to drink a beer with while Charlie was visiting. I will also admit to it being a bit weird at first. I was drinking with my girlfriend's father and Bella wasn't even old enough to drink. It was the first time I had really ever thought about our age gap.

I was happy to see them go. Okay, I said it. Not to Bella, only to Emmett.

I started to save money to buy Bella a ring. I did want to do it right. We were spread pretty thin, though. There wasn't a lot of extra money. I found the perfect ring for her, it was oval antique style and I knew it was just perfect for her.

I started picking up extra shifts, hoping I could save enough for it before the baby came. It made me completely and utterly exhausted.

Bella had called me six times while I was at work. I was swamped and couldn't call her back. I had told her to page me with nine one one if it was ever an emergency, but she never did that.

I figured she just wanted to say hello, see how I was doing. She often found herself bored, being at home all day. When I opened the front door, I collapsed on the couch. My entire body ached. I shut my eyes, the house was quiet, and then I heard Bella's footsteps above me. I listened as she padded down the stairs, and opened one eye to look at her.

A large Flyers shirt was all she wore, her belly sticking out, framed by the emblem. She smiled sheepishly at me. "Don't be mad," she stated.

"That is never something to start off saying," I told her as I sat up straighter.

"Just...I don't know...Emma today," Bella began.

"Shit, what did she do now?" I interrupted. She had warmed up to Bella a little more since her birthday three weeks ago, but she still didn't listen very well, and often did things she knew she shouldn't; like drawing a picture with her crayons on walls upstairs outside her bedroom, and all over the white doors. I had had fun painting over the weekend.

"Stop, Emma was fine," Bella said, sitting next to me on the couch. I placed my hand on her thigh and rubbed it gently as she peeked up at me from under her lashes. "Today," Bella started over, "Emma and I went to the grocery store, and there was a pet shop next door, and Emma begged to go in. I didn't see why not…" Bella's words got quieter as she bit her bottom lip.

"Bella, did you bring home some sort of hamster type rat?" I asked. Bella took my hand and stood up. She yanked on my hand and I used all my energy to get back on my feet.

"Maybe you should come and see," Bella said, leading me up to our bedroom. She opened the door, and on my pillow was a freaking puppy!

My eyes bugged out as I stared at the puppy, all wrinkly. "Don't be mad," Bella said again, going to sit with the dog. She picked it up and held it out to me. "He is so cute, come see," she coaxed me.

"Bella, you bought a puppy?" I tried not to yell. I wasn't against having a dog, but I wouldn't have gotten one without discussing it with her first. "Didn't you want to discuss it with me first?" I asked her.

"Edward, Emma was so happy playing with him, happier then I have seen her in months, and look at him? How could I refuse?" she asked, kissing the dog.

"Bella, I don't think that is the way to deal with Emma. We can't buy her things until she is happy! And getting a dog...well...that just isn't a like buying a toy! A puppy is a lot of work!" I began to yell. Because now I had another bill. And I wasn't sure I could afford it. And a dog can't be returned, especially if your four year old daughter is traumatized from being kidnapped and is attached to it.

"Edward! I can take care of him!" Bella yelled back.

"Yeah? You're going to buy his dog food? You're going to pay for him to go to the vet for shots? Tell me, Bella, how much money did you spend on him?" I asked her.

"Twelve hundred," Bella said, unable to keep eye contact with me.

"Are you kidding me? Tell me you're kidding me," I stated, completely and utterly shocked she would spend that kind of money without talking to me first.

"I tried to call you!" she tried to defend herself. "The store let me put a few hundred down, then let me finance the rest," she explained.

"And who is going to pay that bill every month?" I demanded.

"I told you I could get a job, but you tell me there's no need!"

"And I also didn't say to buy whatever the hell you want!"

"Don't yell and curse at me!" she yelled back.

"Bella, I hardly have enough money to pay for the shit we do have, now I have dog, that not only needs to eat and go to the vet, it also has a monthly payment of how much exactly?"

"I put three hundred down, and it's a hundred and fifty for the next six months," Bella said, her hands on her hips.

"Great," I said with a sarcastic undertone.

"You know Edward, if you were there today, if you had seen Emma, you wouldn't have been able to say no, either. Okay?"

I shook my head at her. I couldn't believe this was happening. I began to walk away. I took off my shirt and tossed it aside, and when Bella clutched my arm, her grip was angry.

"You know, Emma named him. We talked about his name. She talked to me, Edward, like she used to," Bella said, her voice cracking.

I looked up and watched her swat away a few tears. "So, I caved. I gave her something. Me. It was selfish. It wasn't my ideal way of handling her rejection but it's been almost two months, Edward!" Bella said, getting more upset. "So, she said to me; 'Belwa, I wove him can we pwease take him home wif us?' And I tried to call you, and I tried to get her to wait. I asked her to hold off just a few days, and I couldn't tell her no; I wanted to be the good guy again. So, be mad. But I won't regret making her happy," Bella told me.

"Bella, I know. I have been there with her. I know what it's like for her to bat her eye lashes and make her lips all pouty, trust me. I know. But..." I stopped.

It was done. There was a non-refundable puppy, sleeping on my pillow. I looked over at him, and he was awfully cute. I let out a breath, grabbed Bella's arm, and pulled her into my chest. "It's okay," I told her. "It'll be fine," I assured her.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" she asked, peeking up at me.

"I'm getting over it," I smirked at her. "Tell me about the dog," I sighed.

"He is a Chinese Shar-Pei, and Emma named him – are you ready?" Bella giggled. I nodded at her. "Mojo," she laughed out.

"Mojo?" I laughed.

"Yeah!" Bella snorted as we laughed over Emma's name.

"Guess I shouldn't have watched Austin Powers with her around so much!" I told her, finally giving in and picking up the puppy. "Mojo, huh?" I sighed, petting the dog. "Don't you go peeing all over," I told him sternly.

Bella reached over and petted him with me. "Don't tell him you already did," she whispered to the dog.

"Great, we are never getting back the security deposit," I sighed, placing the dog on the floor.

"Edward, I can get a job, I can help with the money," Bella said, her tone serious.

"You don't have to, okay? This residency pays better than most, a bit more then my old one," I told her. "This little dude," I said rubbing her stomach. "I just… I'm not unhappy about anything, it's just unexpected. It's all hitting me at once I think...some of the bills, it's not that I can't afford it. I just didn't want to be spread so thin."

"I can help, Edward. I am pregnant not disabled," Bella argued.

"Bella, if you would feel better getting a job, I won't stop you, but you don't need to."

Bella snuggled against my chest as I reached over to turn off the lamp. I was so exhausted, but I couldn't sleep.

In a matter of months I went from single dad to married on a script, expecting father, and now puppy owner.

My life was coming together like I had always wanted it to one day, just not at the rate it was going.

**BPOV**

I woke up to the sound of Emma giggling and the smell of bacon. I loved the days Edward was off. I stretched in the bed before throwing the blankets off, and slipping into my robe to go downstairs. I had a doctor's appointment today; I always tried to make them for Edward's days off so he could go with me.

Alice was off and had agreed to watch Emma. Edward and I even set aside some time to grab a bite to eat somewhere afterward. I was excited to have a date with him. We didn't have many of them. A part of me was sad we hadn't experienced more of a dating phase, but I wasn't going to complain. He was everything.

Emma was playing with Mojo in the living room, laughing at how he chased his tail in circles. "Hey, hows my bug?" I asked her, kneeling down next to her.

She didn't answer me.

"He's silly, ain't he?" I asked her another question.

She didn't answer.

Just have to keep trying, I reminded myself. It seemed like every day I fought this war with her. By the end of the day it always seemed as if we had made progress, only for the next morning to go backwards.

One step forward, two steps back. I petted Mojo good morning before standing up to say good morning to Edward.

"Hey baby," he said, kissing my cheek.

"Smells good," I told him, inhaling the scent of the eggs and bacon.

"How was Emma when you came down?" he asked me.

"She ignored me," I sighed, as Edward pulled on the half bow I had tied the robe in around my growing stomach. My robe fell open, leaving me in only a t-shirt. It didn't really matter; the robe was only slightly longer then the shirt. Edward reached inside my robe, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me closer to him.

"I'll say something," Edward told me. He would tell her the same things we had been telling her for the past few weeks; it's rude to ignore people.

I didn't think it was pointless, but the results were slow. I knew if I just kept showing her my love it would pay off in the end. I just had to be consistent. I couldn't let her discourage me. I couldn't change the way I acted with her, even if she didn't respond.

I turned around when the puppy came barreling into the kitchen, his paws sliding on the hardwood floor, soon followed by Emma.

"Em, no running in the house!" Edward scolded her.

"I is trying to catch Mojo! Mojo!" she yelled. "No wunning in da house!" she copied.

I pulled away from Edward, and adjusted my robe. "You hungwe, Em?" I asked her.

She didn't answer.

"Emma, that's not nice. We talked about this. Bella asked you a question," Edward pointed out.

She nodded yes. I held out my hand and offered to help her to sit at the high stools at the kitchen island to eat her eggs. "I can do it myself!" she snipped.

Was this the average four year old being independent or me? I didn't know. I hoped she just had hit that stage, and smiled at her.

"Fine, Bug, you can do it. You're a big girl," I told her, as she struggled to pull out the stool that was taller than her.

"Daddy, I can't do it!" she cried.

"Bella said she could help you," Edward pointed out.

She looked at me expectantly. "Do you need some help, Em?" I asked her.

"Pwease," she said softly. I went over and pulled out the stool, picking her up and placing her in the seat.

"Good?" I asked.

She nodded. One step forward. I pressed and kissed her head.

"Ahhhh," she whined, wiping the spot. Two back.

"Emma, stop being like that," Edward told her, scooping eggs on her plate.

I pulled out the ketchup, and squirted it onto her eggs, knowing how she wouldn't eat them without it.

"What do you say, Emma?" Edward prompted.

"Fanks. Belwa."

"You're welcome baby," I smiled at her.

"Twenty-four weeks," Edward announced; he loved to remind me how pregnant I was. "Little guy's got his ears, finger nails, his lungs are starting to mature, and most important," Edward paused, smirking at me, "his testicles are developed."

"That's wonderful, babe, I just hope Emma doesn't ask anyone about the most important part," I laughed.

Edward just shrugged as he took my plate to the sink. He didn't care. I think he cared more about her asking about cocks or cunts, not vaginas or penises.

"I am going to get ready," I told them before heading upstairs to get a shower.

**EPOV**

Bella and I dropped off Emma with Alice then headed over to her doctor's office. I loved being able to go with her.

The nurse called us back and instructed Bella to get on the scale. "Don't look," she joked with me.

"You gained ten pounds from your last visit four weeks ago," the nurse informed Bella. "Let's get your blood pressure," the nurse said, instructing Bella to sit down. She wheeled over the blood pressure machine and turned it on.

When it finished, I felt my stomach turn as I read the elevated reading. One forty-five, over ninety. "Are you going to check her urine?" I asked the nurse.

"We check the urine every visit," the nurse told me, pulling out a small cup and handing it to Bella.

"What was her pressure last time she came?" I asked, concerned.

"One nineteen over seventy," the nurse said, looking in her chart.

"My blood pressure is high?" Bella asked, looking from me to the nurse.

"A little," I told her. I didn't want her to get stressed out, but I was worried. If she was developing preeclampsia the only cure was delivery, and I had seen way too many preterm births because of it.

"Is it serious?" she asked.

"Go pee, okay? We won't know until we see if there is protein in your urine," I told her, opening the bathroom door for her.

Bella came out a few minutes later. I was anxious to know, but the nurse never came back in to tell me. We had to wait for the doctor.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" she asked Bella.

"Fine," Bella told her, as the doctor moved Bella's shirt up to measure her stomach.

"Was her urine clean?" I asked, as she moved the Doppler over Bella's stomach to pick up a heart rate.

"It was plus one," she told me, holding the Doppler in place over our son's heart beat. "Good strong heart rate," she smiled, wiping the gel off.

"Bella, it seems like you may be developing Preeclampsia, I want you to come in again tomorrow to get your urine and blood pressure again. It seems to only be mild. I want you to relax as much as possible. I don't think you need bed rest, but I do want you to limit your activity. We don't want your pressure to go any higher, and you will need to come in more so we can keep a close eye on it," the doctor explained as she wrote in her chart. "If you have any swelling, headaches, vision changes, shoulder, neck or upper gastric pains, nausea, or trouble breathing I want you to call right away and head to the hospital."

"Okay," Bella nodded. "Is it something I did?" she asked.

"It's most likely due to this being your first pregnancy and your age. Women under twenty-one are more likely to get preeclampsia. Just try and relax, we will do our best to keep it under control," she told her with a reassuring smile. "Your blood pressure will go back down after you have the baby. Until then, we have to keep it from escalating, because then the only way to resolve it is to have you give birth. And obviously we want the baby to stay exactly where he is until you are at least thirty-six weeks."

"It will be fine," I told Bella. "Don't stress out over it, okay? That's not going to help," I continued, squeezing her hand.

I really didn't want her to worry. I just wanted her to do what the doctor had requested, relax. I took hope in the fact that if she did need to deliver the baby early, we would be prepared. We would have time to get steroids in to help his lungs mature before delivery.

I held Bella's hand as we walked back to the parking garage. "Get the valet to park it tomorrow so you don't have to walk so far," I told her.

"Edward, what if I have him too early?" she asked, rubbing her stomach.

"Then, we will deal with it. Bella, I have helped save babies born at twenty-three weeks, okay? He will be fine," I assured her. I didn't want to get into the long term problems those infants suffered. I just wanted her to stay calm. "Plus, it's mild, Bella."

"What will happen? Honestly, Edward, don't spare me," she asked.

"Well, most likely, nothing. You limit your activity. If your blood pressure keeps getting higher, and you spill more protein, you will be put on bed rest. They will keep you on bed rest until it's safe to deliver," I told her.

"And if it gets really bad and it's not safe to have him?" Bella asked.

"Bella, they will give him medicine to get his lungs mature, and induce you," I said with a sigh. She wasn't going to let me off the hook. "You want to know the worst case scenario, Bella?"

"I do," she nodded as I opened the car door for her. I shut the door and didn't rush to get in to tell her.

"Worst case," I said, shutting my door, "tomorrow your blood pressure goes up really high, you start having all those symptoms the doctor warned you about, you go to the hospital, and they deliver the baby, because otherwise, you will start having seizures and possibly die. They rush the baby over to CHOP and he gets the best care the country can offer until he is ready to come home." I told her. "But, that isn't going to happen." I told her. "And every week that goes by, he gets bigger and stronger. And like I said, that is only going to happen if you have severe preeclampsia, and you don't even have moderate, okay? It's mild. It's going to stay mild as long as you relax," I told her.

I smiled at her, and I knew chances were that in time it would progress. I just prayed it didn't. Or if it did get to the point of having to deliver him, that we could at least get her to thirty-four weeks.

"Bed rest? You work too much for me to be stuck on bed rest," Bella complained.

"Bella, people will help if it comes to that, please don't stress out," I begged her with my eyes.

"I'm not," she argued, her bottom lip coming out a little in a pout.

I couldn't help it; I had to laugh at her. I picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. "It will be fine, you will be fine, the baby will be fine," I smiled at her.

"If you say so, Dr. Cullen," Bella smiled back.

**BPOV**

After my doctor's appointment we went and got Emma from Alice and headed back home. Edward didn't want me to do anything. "Do you want to pick up something curbside?" he asked.

"Sure," I told him. I turned in my seat to Emma. "Em, what do you want to eat tonight?" I asked her.

"Outback!" she yelled. She was the only four year old that would request Outback, but I wasn't going to complain - it was better than McDonald's.

"Seriously?" Edward asked.

"Emma want coconut shrimp!" Emma exclaimed.

"Outback sounds good to me...ah...and the little guy, he kicked," I told Edward.

"Outback it is," Edward sighed.

Edward carried in the food and Emma; not that Emma would have let me carry her, but I could have carried the food. Edward said not to worry, relax – it's not a big deal. But for someone who was saying that, he sure was acting different.

"Oh, no!" I said, taking in the mess Mojo had made in his crate.

"I got it," Edward said, putting the food on the kitchen island and Emma on one of the stools. "Go sit down, please," he told me. He opened the sliding glass doors to the fenced in back yard and let the dog out.

"I can help, I can still do stuff," I told him.

"Bella, I know. But I am not home a lot to help, so when I am will you please just let me?" he asked.

"Fine," I said, sitting next to Emma as he fixed us plates. "Did you have fun with Alice?" I asked Emma.

She nodded.

Edward took the third stool at the counter and Emma quickly clung to him. I was starting to get really worried about how she would handle it when the baby got here. I didn't want her to be jealous, but I had a feeling that was going to be unavoidable.

Don't worry? Just relax? No wonder my blood pressure was high. How could I not worry? I worried how Edward would react to Emma if she was jealous. I didn't want to think that he would give in to Emma if she had a fit over him holding the baby, and cause him not to hold him, like he had done to me when she first got home.

He assured me that he wouldn't let her control him that way, but still, you never know how you will react until you are faced with the problem.

"Bella?" Edward said, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I responded, looking up from my plate.

"You going to eat?" he asked, his eyes darting to my plate. I hadn't really noticed that I had only been pushing the food around, not really eating it.

"Yeah," I said with a tense smile. I cut my food and placed a bite in my mouth.

After Emma was in bed, I decided to talk to Edward about how I felt. I curled up next to him on the couch. He reached over and placed his arm around me.

"Edward, have you been talking to Emma about the baby anymore?" I asked him.

"A little, why?" he asked, placing my hair behind my ear with his fingers.

"I'm concerned about how she is going to feel about sharing her Daddy," I told him. "I just worry that she will get even more jealous of the baby, and that you will appease her by not holding him as much," I explained.

"Bella, it won't be easy. I do expect her to act out at first, but I think once she gets to know him it will be okay. We can't forget about her, ya know? Everyone is going to come over and pay him all this attention, and we just have to make her feel included in it all."

"Did you talk to the therapist about it?" I asked.

"Yeah, and that is what he suggested. Just keep her involved. I know I have to be a father to both of them, Bella. Do you think he is less important to me than Emma?" Edward asked.

"It's not that! It's just that Emma...she might cry and scream, and beg you to hold her when you have him, and I don't know how you will react, or what is the right thing to do? Put down him and get her? Or let her have a fit? As a parent I don't know how to chose," I told him.

"I don't know, either," Edward told me. "Maybe I should just sit down and hold them both if that happens."

"I want her to be excited, and want to hold him, but I don't think she will. I am afraid she won't like him. I'm afraid she won't ever like me again," I told him.

"She will; she is making progress," Edward reminded me. "What do you want to name him?" Edward asked me. "Maybe it would be good for Emma if we started calling him by his name."

"I don't know...It's hard. I want his name to mean something...I just don't know," I told him.

"My mother's maiden name was Masen. I always liked that," Edward said.

"That is pretty cool; Renee's maiden name was Cooper. Masen Cooper Cullen?" I asked.

"Sounds good to me," Edward smiled.

"That was easy."

"Hey, Masen," Edward said to my stomach, placing a kiss above my belly button. "Daddy loves you," he whispered.

Edward rested his head on my stomach as my fingers weaved in his thick hair. Even though it was hard to relax at times, I believed Edward when he told me everything would be okay.

**WOW! I got like 25% of you to reivew that last chapter! It blew me away! Can I get 30%? Seriously! It would make my day! Anyone have High BP when pregnant?**

**Teaser will be up on Twilighted thread at some point. Come talk to us. Bring Robowski Porn!**


	16. Chapter 16

**SM owns. Not me. **

**OwnedByTwins is my Beta. And we have been SUPER busy! Philly had a Twilight night that Jackson came to – and he was in town for The Last Airbender – now my Beta is a Monkey Junkey and LOVES Jackson – so she was busy stalking him – then we both were in NYC for Volturi Venturi's Eclipse Experience. And I have seen Eclipse 3 times... **

**SO please pardon the delay in bringing you this chapter but it's been Twilight Madness! **

EPOV

My legs felt heavy as I walked into the On Call Physicians' room. I didn't bother to turn on the light. The only furnishings in the room were a hospital bed, a desk, and a chair. I had been at work and awake for almost thirty hours.

When it rains, it pours. Three infants had been transported by the helicopter in the last fifteen hours. The NICU was at max capacity; I had one last thing to do before I could get some sleep. I had to discharge two infants, so we had more room. I wanted to call home, see how Bella was, make sure Emma was behaving, but I just didn't have the energy.

Emma was getting better with Bella. We had told her all about baby Masen, and Bella and I had even brought home a doppler so we could all listen to his heart beat together. Bella loved it. She wouldn't let me bring it back to work. When I told her it would cost us five hundred dollars to keep she gave in, letting me bring it back to work. I just wanted Emma to be able to see how real he was.

Bella's blood pressure hadn't gone up any more. She was taking it easy and I was relieved that Emma was beginning to trust her more and more.

I sat at the desk and did the paper work for the discharges. I called the nurses' station, hoping that Bree answered. She would come to the on call room to get the papers from me. I hated to use her crush on me to my advantage, but a guy's got to do what a guy's got to do.

"NICU this is Bree," she answered curtly.

"Bree, it's Dr. Cullen," I said.

"Oh, what can I do for you?" she asked, her tone quickly turning pleasant.

"I have those discharge papers; do you think you could run down to get them?" I asked.

"No problem," she told me, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

I wanted to tell her she should sound like that when she answered the phone, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

I put my head down on the desk for what felt like a minute.

"Dr. Cullen?" I heard Bree calling my name. Her hand was shaking me awake.

"Bree," I said, sitting up. "Sorry," I told her, picking up the papers underneath me. I adjusted them into a nice pile and handed them to her.

"How you holding up?" she asked, taking the papers.

"Exhausted," I told her.

"Your girlfriend's pressure is doing okay?" she asked, leaning against the edge of the desk, her hands in the pockets of her cupcake scrub shirt.

"Yeah, I mean it hasn't gone back down, but it hasn't gotten worse," I told her, leaning back in the chair.

"Well, that must be a relief," she said.

"It is. Well, I'm going to try and get some more sleep. Thanks for coming down for those papers," I told her, standing up.

"Anytime," she winked at me.

Fuck. I knew I should have just walked the papers down.

I couldn't wait; I called Bella. I needed to hear her voice.

"Hey," she answered, sounding chipper.

"Hey," I yawned. "I miss you," I told her.

"We miss you too, babe," she said.

"What's going on?" I asked, another yawn interrupting me.

"Emmett and Rose stopped by; I guess Emmett is in talks to be traded here to Philly, which would be really cool, huh?"

"Yeah that would be pretty awesome. What did you all do?" I asked.

"Emmett cut the grass," Bella told me.

"Shit!" I said. "I'm sorry, I know I have been telling you I would cut it," I started to apologize.

"It's cool. He said he would give you a discount," Bella laughed.

You know the lawn was out of control if Emmett had to be the one to cut the grass. I hadn't seen Emmett cut the grass since he was twelve.

"How's Emma?" I asked.

"Rose took her to the Please Touch Museum. She said she wanted to give me a break since you have been MIA. So, it's just me, Mojo, and Masen."

"I hate to do this to you, but I have to get some sleep before they page me again. I love you."

"I love you too," Bella said.

I hung up my phone, climbed in the uncomfortable hospital bed, closed my eyes, and said a silent prayer that my pager would not go off for at least three hours.

**BPOV**

It was nice to have an afternoon to myself - relaxing. Still, I hated that word. Edward said it way too much, making me want to scream.

He seriously bought a blood pressure thingy for me to so I could take my pressure every day. I think he wrote Q4 on a post it note that stuck to the box. I had to ask what the Q4 was all about; he told me he wanted me to check it every four hours! He was nuts. I laughed, telling him he wasn't my doctor, and I was not following his orders.

We compromised, and settled on once a day. Well, I told him that was the most he was getting out of me. My pressure wasn't getting worse. It was a miracle. I felt like everything had been going against us for awhile.

I started dinner as I waited for Rose to bring Emma back. It wasn't long before I heard the front door creek open. "Bella?" Rose called as she entered the house.

"In the kitchen," I yelled back as I put some spaghetti in the boiling water. I heard Emma run toward Mojo, the once peaceful house quickly turning into chaos as Emma tried to play with her new best friend.

"Hey, Bug," I said, "have fun today?"

"Ah, huh," she smiled at me, only half paying attention.

"Yeah, we had a blast," Rose said. "Didn't we, Em?"

Emma didn't even look up; she just continued to run in circles around Mojo, making him bark.

"I swore she would pass out on the ride back, I don't know where she gets all the energy," Rose noted, plopping down on the couch. "I'm exhausted!"

"Are you thirsty or anything?" I asked. "I'm making dinner...you are welcome to stay, just not sure you would want to. I am making something special for Emma. Might not be that great." I explained the dinner I wanted to surprise Emma with tonight.

"No, Emmett is taking me to Le Bec Fin, so I actually have to get going. Thanks, though," she told me, pulling herself off the couch.

"Thanks again," I told her as I walked her to the door.

"Anytime," she told me. "Emma, come give me hugs bye!" Rose called over to Emma. Emma quickly ran over.

"Bye, Aunt Rose!" she said, jumping into her arms. Rose kissed her goodbye and placed her down. "Be good," she called out before she left.

"Emma, I am making a very special dinner for you tonight, do you wanna help?" I asked her.

She ran towards me with a smile, nodding her head in agreement. I took her hand and led her into the kitchen.

"So, on iCarly what do they like to eat?" I asked, sitting her on the counter.

"Ghetti tacos!" she answered, with a big grin.

"And guess what I have for us to eat tonight?" I asked her as I tickled her sides.

"Ghetti tacos!" she exclaimed again.

"Sure do!" I told her. I wasn't excited about eating them, but I knew it would excite her, and I would eat them for her.

Emma helped me mix the canned spaghetti sauce into the drained noodles. Then she helped me load up a few crunchy taco shells with the spaghetti.

"We gotta make one for Daddy!" she told me. I knew Edward would be home tonight, but I didn't think he would want anything to do with spaghetti tacos. Emma would be asleep by the time he got home, but I amused her by pulling out another taco shell.

"You're right! He wouldn't want to miss out on this dinner!" I told her, as she scooped the long strands of spaghetti into the shell. I sat her down with her plate of spaghetti tacos, and sat next to her. I took a hesitant bite, and it wasn't awful, but it wasn't great either. I smiled through the bite, pretending it was the best thing since sliced bread.

"That Carly and Spencer know how to make food," I said, after I swallowed down the first bite.

By the time Emma was done, her face was orange and her shirt was ruined. It was worth it, though; she was happy.

We still had bad days, but Edward had been right; she just needed time. I knew we still had a ways to go, though.

I cleaned up Emma's face and let her watch iCarly before I took her upstairs for her bath and bed. She had only just started letting me read to her. A few times she had even let me kiss her forehead.

I sat on the edge of Emma's bed as I put down the book we had just read. I pushed some of her blonde hair off her forehead. "Nite, Love Bug," I smiled at her. I was starting to stand up when her small hand reached out to me. She sat up in bed and hugged me.

"Wove you, Belwa," she told me. The words brought tears to my eyes.

"I love you, Emma," I said, hugging her tight.

**EPOV**

Finally. Three days off. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage the thirty minute drive back to my house. I climbed into my car, turned the air conditioner on full blast, and turned the radio up so loud that I could feel the base vibrating against my entire body. I loosened the tie around my neck and yanked it off, tossing it into the passenger seat.

I finally pulled into the driveway, and noticed the television flickering through the window. I had told Bella not to wait up for me. She could be so stubborn. I smiled at that fact, actually glad she was so stubborn. I missed her. I wanted to see her. I also missed Emma. Part of me hoped both of them would be on the couch waiting for me. I walked through the door, "Babe?" I said, peeking my head into the living room.

She _was _waiting for me, but she had fallen asleep on the couch. I let out a sigh as I unbuttoned my dress shirt, and took it off, draping it over the banister so I could take it upstairs after I grabbed something to eat.

Bella had mentioned making something special for Emma, and right about now I could eat a yak's ass. I headed toward the dimly lit kitchen as I undid my belt, pulling it out and placing it on the kitchen island. I could already feel my pants begin to slip down to my hip bones; I yanked them up only to have them fall right back down when I opened the refrigerator door.

I looked in the fridge and found a plate with a note on it. "To the best Daddy in the world, Love Emma." It was obviously written by Emma. Bella had been working with her on her letters, and even though I could hardly make it out, I was so proud. Who was I to complain about not being able to read someone else's writing? Sometimes I couldn't even make out my own notes in patients' charts.

I set the plate down and stuck the note on the fridge door along with some of Emma's other artwork.

I took off the saran wrap and looked at the plate. A smile crept on my face as I realized what Bella and Emma had for dinner; spaghetti tacos.

I figured what the hell, it was better than a yak's ass. I didn't bother heating it up, I didn't honestly think it would make a difference. I brought the taco to my mouth and bit down into the crunchy shell. Definitely better than a yak's ass, but how much better, I wasn't sure. I went back to the fridge and pulled out a beer, chugging it back quickly to wash away the clashing tastes from the iCarly inspired meal that Emma had probably loved.

I went back to the living room and turned off the T.V. "Baby," I cooed, as I knelt on the floor in front of her.

I wasn't even met with a moan. She was still. I didn't even have the energy to walk my own ass up the stairs, but I wouldn't leave her to sleep on the couch, and I didn't want to wake her up. I kissed her temple, before I slid one arm under her knees and then wrapped her arms around my neck to carry her up to bed.

As I carried her up to our bed, I could feel our son moving inside her. His feet poked out against my stomach. I pulled the covers down and placed her gently in the bed. I could feel sweat dripping from my brow from carrying her. I rubbed her round belly. "Hey, Masen," I said, placing a kiss above her belly button.

I stood up before moving down to lift her legs so I could pull the blankets over her after I took off her silly stripped socks. Her feet were swollen. She said she hadn't done much today. Rose had Emma for half the day.

Bella hadn't made the bed in days, something she used to love doing. She bought like seven accent pillows and prided herself with pilling them up neatly every morning; at least until she got high blood pressure. Her swollen feet were obviously a new symptom, and not a good one. I went over and got two of the pillows I used to find useless. I had a use for them now, to elevate Bella's legs.

I propped her legs up and tried to talk myself out of waking her up to take her blood pressure. The doctor inside won. I couldn't risk her going into a hypertensive crisis. There was too much at stake. Not only our son's life; but hers.

"Bella," I spoke softly, nudging her arm. "Baby," I tried again when she didn't respond. She began to stir, her eyes fluttering behind her closed lids.

"Hmmm," she said, groggily.

"I want to take your blood pressure," I told her as she opened her eyes. She looked around the room in confusion.

"Did you carry me up here?" she asked. I nodded. "Edward," she scolded me. "I can walk. I must weigh a ton!"

"Half," I smirked. "Where is the blood pressure machine?" I asked.

"Edward, please, once a day. I am fine," Bella said, turning on her side. She kicked the pillows I had used to elevate her legs. I don't think she was aware they were there until then. "What did you do to me?" she laughed.

"Your feet are swollen. It's not a good sign. You should keep them elevated," I told her, putting the pillows back under her feet. She sat up in bed, forcing me to move the pillows again with her.

"Edward, really. I feel fine," she told me.

"Well, I would feel better if I knew you weren't too high, okay? Now, where is it?" I asked.

"It's right there," Bella sighed, pointing to the top of her dresser.

I brought it over and secured the Velcro around her arm, before pressing the button to inflate. It clicked off, reading one fifty-two over ninety six.

"It went up," I sighed. "Shit!"

"Is it really bad?" Bella asked. The sound of Velcro ripping away sounded so loud in the quiet house.

"I just hoped it wouldn't escalate," I explained. It was unrealistic for me to think it wouldn't. Her due date was ten weeks away. In all reality, she could have him in six more weeks and he would be perfectly fine, but I didn't know how we would deal with everything if she was on bed rest. "Go back to bed," I told her. "We can check it again in the morning."

I climbed into bed with her and as I held her close to me I could feel her yawn against my chest. Of course, it caused me to yawn.

"Emma and me had an awesome night, Edward," Bella said, looking up at me with a huge smile.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked.

"Yes! I tried to wait up for you to tell you about it," she beamed.

"I did eat my tacos," I laughed.

"She told me she loved me, I mean that is huge!" Bella told, me resting her chin on my chest. I pushed her hair back, feeling the silky strands between my fingers.

"That is awesome," I told her. I knew Emma would come around. "Thank you," I told her.

"For what?" Bella asked, her fingers dancing along my chest.

"For loving Emma the way you do. Not many women would have stuck around and dealt with her like you did. A lot of them would have given up. Thank you for never giving up on her. I don't know how we got so lucky," I told her. "So, thank you."

I didn't thank her enough for taking all the rejection she got from Emma. Crap, I didn't even really say sorry for all the shit Emma said and did to disrespect her. And I felt bad for not telling her how much I appreciate and love her for the way she never gave up on Emma. The way she loved her more with each day.

"Leaving was never an option," Bella said shaking her head. "I could never leave you and Emma. You are my family."

"And you are my life," I said as she brought her mouth to mine. "Gahhhh," I stifled a groan. I missed the taste of her mouth. Her soft lips. The way she moved her tongue inside my mouth.

"I love you," I told her between kisses, bites, and licks.

She didn't say it back, but she didn't need to. I knew from the tips of my fingers to the top of my toes that she loved me, it was inside me. I needed her. She was ingrained in me; I could feel her deep in my bones.

"Let's not get carried away," I told her, painfully removing my mouth from hers. I was constantly worried about her blood pressure. "Get some rest, okay?" I told her with a small peck on her head.

She crossed her heart with her hand and snuggled in close to me.

My phone woke me up way too early. I reached blindly for it on the night stand.

"Hello?" I said like a frog was in my throat.

"Edward!" Alice greeted me entirely too cheerfully.

"Alice, to what do I owe this," I rubbed my eyes to see the alarm clock clearly, "six in the morning wake up call?"

"Bella's baby shower. Mom, Rose, and I have been putting it together. We have everything but she hasn't registered anywhere yet."

"This couldn't have waited until like eight in the morning?" I asked her.

"I have class, Edward. It takes a lot to plan the party. I use all the time I can find," she told me.

"When is it?" I asked. "It's not far right? I don't want her stressed, or having to walk real far," I told her. I had wanted them to have it in the house here, but Alice had refused.

"Well, we were going to have it at Jasper's work, but I assume the city is too stressful. So, we found this really nice place in Media. We can have a bar, Jasper says they have good food, and I got this really awesome fondant tier cake," Alice went on. I could hear how excited she was. "Oh, and it's like five minutes from your house!"

"Sounds like you have it all under control," I told her through a yawn.

"It's not every day your best friend has a baby with your brother. Anyway, I need my big brother to take my best friend to a few places to register, Babies R Us, Target, Pottery Barn, where ever. I need to put that in the invitation and I need to have them out in three days."

"Alice, I'll take her today. Okay?"

"Thank you, Edward!" Alice said in a sing song voice. "I love you, brother!"

"Love you too, Allie," I said before hanging up my phone.

I lay back in bed and watched Bella sleeping. I was glad Alice hadn't woken us both up. I was worried about Bella. I hoped she would make it to the baby shower. If her blood pressure kept going up there was a good chance she wouldn't be there.

I couldn't fall back to sleep. I got up and pulled on a pair of basketball shorts, and a white t-shirt. I threw on a pair of Nike's and went for a jog. It was nice to just run on a sidewalk. Only a few cars drove past at the earlier hour and the one man walking his dog said hello to me.

You could tell all the houses that had kids; bikes, tree houses, and swing sets were in the back yards. It was exactly where I had pictured raising a family. I had thought it would be a few more years for that to happen, but time isn't always something you can control.

**BPOV**

I woke up to a note on my pillow, _Went for a jog, bb soon, love E. _I smiled as I read the note and then remembered my high blood pressure from the previous night. I looked down at my ankles and the swelling had gone done significantly.

I adjusted the cuff and took my pressure. It went back down to somewhere in the one forty's. Edward would be happy. I wondered if he would insist I call the doctor? Probably, just for the fact that my ankles did get swollen.

I probably just did too much with Emma last night. I did not want to go to the doctor today. It just was not how I wanted to spend my time. I couldn't do much with Edward around; he didn't let me do anything.

Annoyed at the prospect of having my day interrupted by a doctor's appointment whenever they could squeeze me in, I grabbed my cell phone off the dresser to call the office.

The first thing I noticed was a text message from my mom; she wanted me to call her.

"Great," I mumbled, dialing her. To my surprise she answered on the second ring.

"Bella," she said, "I am glad you called back so soon."

"What's up?" I asked her.

"Well, I don't want you to get upset," she began. Those weren't exactly the most promising words to hear, they were usually followed by something to get upset over. I could feel my stomach flutter at the anxiety they created inside me. "It's not the end of the world," she went on.

"Mom!" I exclaimed getting more upset. "What isn't the end of the world? Those words don't exactly make it easy for me to stay calm," I told her.

"Daddy's insurance dropped you," she spit out.

"What?" I asked. I knew I looked stunned. "I have no insurance?"

"I'm sorry. But since you are over eighteen and no longer a full time student they won't cover you," she explained.

"Mom, I have to be able to go to the doctor's. Do you know how much it is to have a baby? How am I supposed to pay for everything?" I asked. I could feel the panic rise in my chest.

"Bella, I told you not to get upset, okay? That boyfriend of yours could help. He could marry you already for crying out-"

"Stop," I interrupted her. "I'm not listening to your judgmental attitudes about that right now," I told her.

"Or, I was going to say before you interrupted me, that you could apply through the state to get health insurance. They will give a lot of help to single mothers," she told me, like it was a dig.

"I'm not single," I told her.

"You're not married either, Bella. I just don't think it's right to live like that."

"Listen, thanks for letting me know. I will see what my options are," I told her before hanging up the phone. I tossed it on the bed in aggravation just as Edward came in the room.

God, he was beautiful. He never stopped taking my breath away. He took off his shirt and wiped his face with it before tossing it in the laundry basket. "Who was that?" he asked, coming to kiss me on the cheek.

"My mother," I told him.

"Everything okay?"

"No," I told him, sitting on the edge of the bed with a pout.

"Don't get all worked up. I am sure it's not that bad," he said, sitting with me.

I looked over at him with a look that said, yes it is. "I have no insurance," I told him. "Since I am no longer a student and over eighteen, they dropped me."

"Oh," he said, scratching the back of his head. "We can figure something out, like maybe you can get it through the state, I got a lot of help with Emma when I was in school and bartending," he told me.

Was getting married not important to him? Why wouldn't that be his first thought?

"Okay," I told him. "I guess I will look online to see what I should do," I said, looking in my lap. I know we had already made those promises to each other, but I was still hurt.

"It will be fine," he told me with a smile.

I looked up at him and forced a smile. "I know."

"Something else wrong?" he asked.

"I just...I mean," I struggled to find the words. "Just, if we got married, then I could just be covered under your insurance," I told him.

"Pregnancy is a pre-exsisting condition, and my insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. It wouldn't solve the problem. We will get married," he assured me, his eyes looking deeply in mine. I knew he meant every word he said to me. "It won't be rushed, though. We will do it right, okay?"

I nodded at him.

"Um...did you think of registering for baby stuff? I thought maybe we could do that today," he shrugged.

I wasn't stupid. I knew Alice had plans that were way too much, and that I would never escape alive.

"Sure," I sighed.

"I don't want to do too much walking, so one place. One hour," he told me sternly.

"Yes, doctor," I smiled. I wasn't going to complain. I didn't like shopping. And how long would it take to pick out a few baby things?

"And only if your doctor says okay, after you tell them about your swollen ankles and high blood pressure," he added.

"Fine," I sighed, grabbing my phone off the bed.

"I'm gonna go jump in the shower," he told me with another peck to my cheek.

I didn't feel like it was such a big deal, it seemed like a fluke. I didn't want to call. I didn't want to go in. If my pressure went up again I would call. But for now, I just wanted to enjoy the day.

Edward walked into the bedroom after his shower, the blue towel around his hips; I could help but reach out and run my fingers down his chest, resting my hands on his hips.

"What did your doctor say?" he asked.

"She said as long as I felt okay, my pressure went back down, and my ankles weren't swollen she didn't see why an hour out would hurt, but to just be aware," I lied.

I wanted to take it back the moment I said it. But I couldn't. It was already too late.

"My turn for a shower," I said quickly, wanting to avoid any more questions.

There was no reason for him to know. I mean it wasn't that big of a deal. It's not like anything horrible would happen because of it.

**Thanks for reading! Is Bella showing her immaturity? Does she still have that teenage mentality that nothing bad will ever happen to me? IF something happens will Edward be able to forgive her for putting Masen in danger? **

**A teaser will go up on the thread on Twilighted and if you don't go there let me know in your review and I will send one to you. **


	17. Chapter 17

**SM owns Twilight – not me. **

**OwnedByTwins Beta'd this – and got a Cullen crest Tattoo. Next she wants a Monkey – cause she is a Monkey Junkey! LOL! **

BPOV

Edward pushed Emma in a cart as I held the little scanner, making our way through Babies R Us. Emma wasn't enjoying the trip. She was pretty opposed to picking out anything that had to do with Masen.

"I want Mr. Potato head!" she cried out as we passed the small toy section. Edward and I were planning on taking her to go see the new Toy Story movie after our shopping. She had Woody, Jessie, and Buzz at home already.

Edward picked up the Mr. Potato head and handed it to Emma. She didn't have to try very hard to get what she wanted, from anybody. Proof of that was the puppy I had been struggling to house break the past few weeks.

"He can't leave wifout his wife, Mrs. Potato head," Emma cleverly remarked, pointing to the other toy she wanted.

I looked at Edward with a face that said "Are you _really_ going to give in?" He simply sighed and grabbed Mrs. Potato head.

Emma played with the two toys in the packages as we continued on our mission. "Oh my wittle sweet potato," she said, mocking the movie characters perfectly. Edward and I couldn't help but start cracking up.

Edward was on a mission. He wanted us to go through and pick out only the necessities. Baby bottles, tub, stroller, car seat, crib set, bouncy seat, and swing. I did get a chance to scan a few extra things along the way, like towels, and receiving blankets.

But in one hour Edward was pushing me towards the door. "Come on. We will go to the movie with Emma, get you off your feet."

When we got to the theater there was a long line of people waiting to see Toy Story. "You can't stand in line like this," he said sternly. There was only one bench and it was filled with other kids and their parents. "Excuse me," Edward said, stopping one of the employees walking past us.

"Yes?" she asked.

"How much longer until the theater opens for Toy story?" Edward smiled his charming smile on the now blushing teenage girl.

I was getting jealous now. Sure, she was a teenager. Sure she was in high school. But I was probably only two years older than her. I held my hand on my stomach, and my other held Emma's hand.

"Another twenty minutes or so," she answered.

Edward crinkled his face, letting her know that was not acceptable. "See, against my better judgment I let my girlfriend, who was told to stay off her feet," he said, pointing back at me and my obviously very pregnant belly, "talk me into letting her to get out of the house for a bit and see a movie, since you sit most of the time. She really can't stand here for twenty minutes. Is there any way we can go in early?" Edward asked, flashing another killer smile.

"We really aren't supposed to do that...they still have to clean it up," she said, nervously looking around. "But I don't see why my manager wouldn't make an exception for the three of you," she said, unlocking the red rope that had held us in the line.

"Thank you. It really means a lot," Edward told her, taking my hand from my stomach and holding it in his.

"I can see exactly where Emma learned how to charm people into doing whatever she wants," I noted as Edward and I picked our seats in the empty theater.

"She learned from the best," he smirked at me. Emma was bouncing in her seat with all her excitement to see the new movie. I laughed at her before resting my head on Edward's shoulder.

"You feel okay?" he asked seriously.

I rolled my eyes, a gesture he didn't miss because the theater was not dark yet. "I feel fine," I told him, remembering the fact that I had lied about calling my doctor today to get this trip out approved. I moved my head from his shoulder and began to beat myself up over the lie.

It was starting to make my head hurt. By the time the movie was over my head was pounding. "You were quiet during the movie," Edward pointed out as we waded our way out of the packed theater.

"My head just hurts, no biggie," I shrugged.

"Your head hurts? How long has your head hurt?" he asked, stopping dead in the aisle.

"Edward, people want to get through," I pointed out, how hoping he would stop holding up the flow. He pulled me into the empty aisle of seats.

"Headaches and high blood pressure aren't good, Bella," he told me. "Is it really bad?" he asked.

"It started to hurt before the movie, and it got worse as the movie went on. I just figured it was because of all the noise," I told him.

"We have to call your doctor again," he said, trying to pull me through the still slow moving crowd. I felt my stomach lurch when he said _'again._' I thought to myself that I was going to have to come clean. As Edward pulled me closer to the doors outside the theater I began to feel dizzy, and my vision began to blur. The brightness of the lights outside blinded me; I clutched the door to steady myself. "Bella?" I heard Edward ask; he was right next to me but he sounded so distant.

"I'm fine," I tried to tell him as he led me to a bench.

"No, I don't think you are," he told me, pulling out his phone. "Alice, can you meet me at University of Pennsylvania hospital to get Emma? I think Bella over did it today. I think her blood pressure is really high... Of course I will tell her... thanks, Ally," Edward said, clicking his phone shut. "I'm going to get the car and get you. Just stay on this bench okay?"

I nodded at him, as I watched him and Emma walk out towards the parking lot. As they were walking away I had to stop watching when his body looked as if it floated to the left, making me see double. When I shifted my gaze to the ground I had four feet. "Edward!" I called out, scared. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face me. I grasped the bench beneath me as the world around me spun.

Edward began to jog back in my direction. "Bella!" I heard him call over to me before everything went black.

EPOV

I heard her call my name. I could hear the fear in her voice. At first it paralyzed me. I stopped, scared. "Daddy?" Emma said, pulling me out of my daze. When I turned around I saw all the color drain from Bella's face. I knew it was bad before I looked back, but seeing her like that only made it more obvious.

I began to jog back toward the movie theater, not caring that I almost ran into a car that had just begun to pull out of a parking space. "Bella!" I called over to let her know I was coming. I placed Emma down. "Don't move," I told her sternly as I knelt in front of Bella.

I watched her eyes roll back in her head; her body was limp as I pulled her into my arms. "Bella," I called her name again. I felt her body go stiff in my arms and I knew she was about to have a seizure. I didn't want Emma to see it. I didn't want to see it.

Her body began to convulse in my arms. "I need an ambulance!" I called out, holding Bella to protect her from getting hurt. It didn't last long, yet it felt like forever.

"I called one already," a bystander said. I looked up and nodded in thanks to the stranger. "Do you need anything?" she asked. I needed a lot of things, none of which I thought she could provide me with. I shook my head at her.

"Daddy!" I heard Emma cry from my side.

"It's okay, Emma," I told her. "Sit there on the bench for Daddy, okay?" I asked her.

"Is Belwa gonna wake up?" she asked.

"Bella's gonna be fine, baby," I lied. I was sick to my stomach with fear. Bella could have a stroke. Masen had to come out, and he had to come out fast.

I could hear the ambulance in the distance. It felt like it took an eternity for them to arrive. Especially with Bella having seizures every two minutes.

Two paramedics rushed over to where I sat on the ground with Bella. I had her on her side to keep her from choking. "She needs an injection of Valium; she's had three seizures in less than ten minutes," I told them.

"Is this your wife?" the male paramedic asked. "How far along is she?" he questioned as he wheeled out the stretcher.

"Thirty weeks, she has PIH," I told him. "We need to get her to Penn."

"We don't go into the city," he told me as we put her onto the stretcher. "Main Line is good, though, Mr. - ?"

"Dr. Cullen," I corrected, picking up Emma. "And I am well aware of what can and can't be done, and you will take us to Penn. She could have a stroke and if she does I want her at Penn," I told them, not letting them get away with that shit.

The ride in the back of the ambulance was hell. Bella never regained consciousness. Her pressure was two hundred over one hundred and three. I knew there would be no time. I knew she was at risk for a heart attack and stroke. I also knew the huge risk it was to cut her open. She could bleed out so easily.

On top of that, I knew it meant no time to get steroids into her for Masen. I needed to stay out of the EMS team's way. They had a job to do, a job they could do better than me. I was way too emotionally involved to do anyone any good.

I called CHOP. I needed to find out how to make sure Masen was transported. My new chief was more than willing to help out. He told me not to worry about anything; that he would make sure the phone calls were made to have my son at moved to CHOP. "Edward, just remember right now you are a husband and father, not a doctor. You are too emotionally involved to be a good doctor right now, okay?"

I knew he was trying to help me. Remind me where my place was, the reason why surgeons don't operate on their loved ones. "Thanks," I told him.

There was a team of doctor and nurses waiting outside for us when we pulled into the ambulance bay. Quickly the medics rattled off all the information on Bella as I carried Emma quickly behind them. When I heard the doctor say they had an OR ready and waiting I was relieved to hear they were on top of things, all the while becoming more scared at the unknown.

I knew I couldn't leave Emma to go in with Bella. I didn't want her to be alone, but I couldn't just leave Emma in a waiting room by herself. I called Alice again as they prepared Bella for surgery.

"Ally," I choked out.

"Edward, where are you? What's going on?" she asked frantically.

"Bella got bad, fast. I'm at Penn. They brought Bella in by ambulance. They have to deliver the baby, Ally. It's bad..." I said, letting myself cry. "I'm really fucking scared."

"Holy shit," Alice breathed. "I'm like five minutes away," she told me.

"Dr. Cullen?" I heard a nurse call for me as she entered the waiting room.

"Yes," I said, wiping my eyes.

"They're getting ready to operate; do you want to go in with her?" she asked.

I looked over at Emma as she played with some of the toys, and the pain was evident in my face. "I can't," I choked out, gesturing to Emma.

"If you'd like I can sit with her for a minute while you see your wife before they take her in," she offered.

"I'd appreciate that," I told her. "Emma," I said, walking towards her. "I'm going to see Bella for a minute. I'll be right back. This nice nurse is going to sit with you while I go."

Emma looked up at the nurse who smiled warmly at her with a wave. "Thanks," I told her, walking across the hall where they had Bella waiting.

There was so much I wanted to say. I stood above her, praying for her to be okay. Praying for our son to be okay. "I love you, both," I said, stroking her hair.

"Are you coming?" another nurse asked. "The scrubs are over there," she pointed to a closet.

"No, I can't," I told her as a few more people came and began to wheel her away. Painfully, I watched her go.

When I got back to Emma, I wasn't sure what to tell her about everything. I sat nervously in the chair closest to the toys she was playing with.

"Belwa still okay?" she asked me.

"The other doctors are helping her now. As soon as they get baby Masen out of her belly she should be okay," I tried to smile at her.

"Where's baby Masen gonna go?" she asked.

"He will need to go to the hospital Daddy works at for a little while. Then he will come home with us," I told her.

"I don't want a baby broder," she told me, crossing her arms.

"That's not nice, Emma," I told her. I had never had the urge to yell at her before but in that moment I had to take a few deep breaths to control myself. She was only four. She didn't understand how close she was to getting that wish.

"Edward?" I heard Alice come in followed by Jasper, Rose and Emmett. Each of them hugged me and told me it would be okay. "How is she?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," I told her.

"Dr. Cullen?" I heard the same nurse from earlier call my name. "Do you want to see your son before they take him to CHOP?" she asked.

I didn't even answer; I nodded yes as I willingly followed her, matching her fast pace.

"He is on Cpap right now for apnea. He is a good weight for his gestational age, three pounds six ounces, and he is sixteen inches," she told me as she led me to the NICU.

I washed my hands and put on the scrubs before going over to him. I didn't hesitate to reach inside the incubator and touch his tiny hands.

"Most parents are terrified of the NICU," the nurse commented, noting how at ease I was.

"I work in one," I told her, not taking my eyes from Masen. "How is Bella?" I finally asked. It had been on the tip of my tongue since she came to get me for Masen; I was just too scared to know the answer.

"Once he was out, things got better. Her doctor wants to talk to you when you leave here," she smiled at me reassuringly.

I took a picture of Masen on my phone before sliding it back in my pocket and taking off the yellow gown to check on Bella. I no longer had one reason, I had three. Three lives that depended on me.

I did have a thing or two to say to Bella's doctor, though. The nurse led me to where Bella was recovering, letting me know she still wasn't awake due to the medicine they had used to put her to sleep.

I walked into her room; my heart wasn't as heavy as I realized they were both alive. "Edward," Bella's doctor said, extending her hand to me. I didn't take it. She should have never allowed Bella to go out today. She should have insisted that Bella come in and be seen.

Fuck. I was a doctor, and I should have done all those things. I should have known better. But I stepped back, telling myself I wasn't her doctor. That her doctor would take care of her medical needs.

"What were you thinking when Bella told you her feet were swollen and her pressure got higher this morning? Why did you tell her it would be okay to go out? Why didn't you tell her to come in right away?" I accused her.

"Edward, I don't know what you're talking about," she told me.

"I'm talking about when Bella called you this morning to tell you her ankles were swollen and her pressure had gone up!" I said, raising my voice.

"Edward, I never spoke to Bella today," she told me calmly.

"Bella told me she called you to tell you. To ask if it would be okay to go out for a little while; she told me you said it would be okay! It wasn't okay! Look at her!" I yelled again, pointing to her.

"I would have never advised that, Edward. I made it perfectly clear to you and Bella if she had any more symptoms I wanted to see her right away," she pointed out.

"Why would Bella lie about that? She has no reason to! But you...you just want to cover your ass now! Now that she almost died and my son is being transported on a breathing machine because you acted like it wasn't that big a deal to her!" I spat the words at her like venom.

"I know you're upset, Edward. Maybe Bella spoke to a nurse at my office. I assure you she didn't speak to me."

"I guess we will get to the bottom of this one way or another," I told her as I walked closer to Bella. I didn't look at her doctor again. I just pulled the chair closer to Bella and held her hand.

There was nothing left to do but wait.

BPOV

The first thing I felt when I my body began to wake up was empty. Tears welled up behind my eyes that I refused to open. I was petrified. Little by little my senses returned as I lay motionless in the bed, trying to remember everything that had happened since the movie ended.

I heard Edward and was relieved he wasn't far. As I began to process his words a feeling of dread began in my chest. He was defending me. Blaming the doctor, questioning her about the care she had provided me, the advice I never sought from her.

I heard Edward slide the chair across the floor and then felt his hand rest on mine. I didn't want to face him. I clung desperately to the liquid pooling behind my eyes but it was useless. It seeped out and down my cheek. "Baby?" Edward said. "You awake? It's gonna be okay," he assured me.

It only made it worse and I choked out a painful sob. It ripped through my body, putting pressure on the staples I had holding my stomach together.

"Where is he?" I asked, opening my eyes. I couldn't see Edward through all the tears. All I saw was a blur of colors. Edward wiped my cheeks with the pad of his thumb carefully. I wanted to curl up and disappear. I was such an idiot.

"He's doing good, Bella. He's beautiful," Edward said, showing me the picture he had as his wall paper on his cell phone.

I reached out to touch the screen. My son. It hurt to see him like that, hooked up to machines, so tiny, so helpless, and it was all because I didn't call the doctor.

"It's all my fault," I whispered, not letting my eyes leave the picture on Edward's phone.

"Don't blame yourself," Edward said, kissing my forehead. "Your doctor should have insisted you go into the office to be seen."

"About that," I barely whispered. I wasn't sure how to say the words. How to tell Edward this was all my fault, that I had lied to him.

"Don't worry about anything. I'll make sure it's all taken care of. That sorry excuse for a doctor won't be able to make the same mistake twice," Edward told me. I had never heard him be so threatening before.

"Edward, please let me finish," I requested. "I never called her... I never told her about my ankles or my pressure being high," I told him meekly, unable to keep eye contact with him.

"What?" he asked, and I could hear the disbelief in his tone.

"I'm sorry," I managed to squeak out.

"Sorry? You're sorry? I guess I don't need to tell you what an immature thing that was to do now, do I? Bella, I thought you understood how serious your condition was! When you asked me to tell you, I did! I didn't sugarcoat it! I can't believe you lied to me!"

"I'm sorry!" I managed to speak louder, as the words came out with a sob. Edward paced in front of the hospital bed in anger.

"What you did...the danger you put not only yourself in but our son! I don't know what to think! You don't think sometimes! You just don't think about consequences! Like buying a puppy! Or ignoring not only your doctor's orders but my requests!"

"I don't know what I was thinking! Please, Edward! It doesn't mean that I didn't care!" I tried to explain myself, but in all honesty he was right. I had no defense for myself. I had neglected my health; I had put my son in danger. It was selfish. All I could do was let the sobs take over as I blamed myself for what happened to Masen.

"Is there a problem?" a nurse asked, giving Edward a nasty look. "Miss Swan's pressure is still high; it can take up to forty-eight hours to go back down. I can't have you coming in here and upsetting her. I'm going to have to ask you leave," she told Edward.

"No!" I cried out. "I don't want him to leave, I need him to stay!" I begged.

"No, I think it would be best if I left right now. The nurse is right." Edward said.

"When will you be back?" I asked him, afraid he would say never.

"I don't know," he told me. It wasn't the most comforting answer, but at least it wasn't never.

EPOV

As I walked out of the hospital room I was blinded by my anger. I should have at least told her I loved her. I couldn't though. She was immature and we were both stubborn. I was beyond pissed at her. She had almost killed herself and our son. There was no reason any of it had to happen.

I found my family in the waiting room taking turns making Emma laugh. Jasper was sitting with her on the floor helping her put together a puzzle.

"How is Bella?" Alice asked, standing up quickly. Bella would probably be better off with Alice's company than mine after the way I was feeling towards her.

"She isn't out of the woods yet. But she should be fine as long as she doesn't do anything stupid again," I said spitefully.

"What are you talking about?" Alice asked. "Your girlfriend just almost died and you sound like a complete ass!"

"Listen, I don't want to get into everything right now, okay? But Bella could use some company that isn't me. Someone like her best friend," I hinted for Alice to go talk to her. Be a friend. Something I couldn't do right now because I needed some time to process the anger I felt.

"You're an ass," she told me, shoving past me to go to Bella. I didn't want Bella to be alone or upset, but I wasn't the best person to keep her calm and happy right now.

I sat down in the seat Alice had been sitting in and sighed, rubbing my face. "Edward, I can take Emma tonight if you need me too," Rose offered.

"You don't need to," I told her, watching Emma snuggle into Jaspers side. I watched her small mouth open in a wide yawn as she rubbed her eyes.

"Let Rose take Emma," Emmett said. "You need some time after such a stress filled day."

"Fine," I relented, slumping back in the seat.

"Rose, I'm gonna hang around with Edward for a few, why don't you take Emma and I'll meet you later?" Emmett said.

Once I said goodnight to Emma, I called CHOP to check on Masen, and I explained to Emmett and Jasper what Bella had done today. How she had lied to me, almost killing herself and Masen.

"She blames herself...and what's worse is I blame her too." I admitted to them, filled with shame.

"Edward," Emmett said, resting his hand on my shoulder. His gaze was hard and penetrating. I braced myself for whatever he had to say about what an asshole I sounded like. "You're an ass," he said simply, patting my back so hard it stung.

I heard Jasper chuckle as I was tossed forward from the force of Emmett's 'patting'. "This didn't have to happen, Em. She lied to me. And look at what happened because of it? She nearly killed herself and Masen!" I pointed out before sitting back in the uncomfortable vinyl seats.

Emmett sat down to the left of me, and Jasper on the right as I slumped in the chair, exhausted.

"Dude, she's nineteen years old, Edward. She stopped her life to come be with you when you needed her, and you probably weren't the easiest person to live with at the time. The girl went from normal college girl to pregnant step-mother in like ten months or some shit. I think she was bound to make a mistake."

"I know what you're saying makes sense, Emmett. I do." I told him, running my hand through my hair. "But this mistake had life and death consequences. Maybe it all happened too fucking fast."

"Dude, it happened way too fucking fast," Emmett agreed. "BUT," he said, "it doesn't make the events or your feelings for each other less meaningful."

"Don't you think she has enough guilt over the situation? You don't need to make her feel worse over it, Edward. That's fucked up." Jasper told me. "Alice shouldn't be in that room making her feel better for her mistake. It doesn't mean shit to Bella what Alice has to say. What matters is what you have to say. What are you going to do? Kick her out of the house over it? Break up with her?"

I shot a glance at Jasper. "What she did when she didn't call the doctor; is just like what Kate did to Emma. Kate knew if she kept doing that shit it would affect Emma, and Bella, she knew she was high risk, she knew when she had to call the doctor, and by her not doing that she might as well have shot heroin."

"Edward, go home." I heard Alice's voice behind me. "She isn't perfect, but she sure as hell isn't fucking Kate!" Alice spat at me, as her finger pointed at me accusingly. "You should be ashamed of yourself." Alice took in a breath before she really let me have it. "That girl in there, my best friend, the one you thought you'd have a meaningless fling with over Thanksgiving, is a mess. She is in there blaming herself! Saying that she is being punished for what she did three years ago! And you're out here just making it easier for her to tear herself down and feel shitty about herself!"

And I was. I looked down at the ground. If I had a tail I'd have put it between my legs. Bella wasn't perfect. I wasn't perfect. No one was perfect. But I loved her.

I took my eyes off the ground, pushed by Alice's words. I looked her in the eyes and made sure my tone was even. I didn't want my voice to crack under the heap of emotions I felt. "I'm not going anywhere," I said sternly, walking past Alice toward Bella's room.

BPOV

Karma. What comes around goes around. I was horrible and I would forever pay for the mistakes I had made. First I had killed my first baby, selfishly, to try and keep some asshole boy that had never wanted me in the first place. Now, I acted like a selfish kid again, causing harm to my son. I didn't deserve to be a mother.

I wouldn't blame Edward if he didn't want anything to do with me. I yanked a tissue out of the box sitting on the rolling table and not so gracefully blew my nose. I hardly heard the soft knock on my door over the sound of my nose. I looked up, surprised to see Edward. "What, did you come here to tell me how awful I am? How much I screwed up? Because I already know, Edward." I told him. I really didn't want to listen to him remind me of what I monster I was.

"I wanted to tell you how awful _I_ am. How much_ I_ screwed up," he told me, walking towards my bed.

"I'm the one who lied. Who put our son's life at risk," I reminded him, drowning in my self-pity. "Maybe if I hadn't been so awful in the past...I would have never had high blood pressure. I must be getting punished."

"You believe that, Bella? Why would whoever it is you think is punishing you, punish an innocent baby?" Edward asked.

"I don't know why, Edward."

"I love you, Bella. What about all the selfless things you have done in your life?" he asked me. "You dropped out of school and moved across the country to help me when Emma was gone. You loved her even when she made it hard for you. You are an incredibly strong woman who at the age of nineteen has overcome a lot of crap, and hasn't lost the ability to love perfectly. I was an ass for being mad at life and taking it out on you. It's not your fault. It's just life," he told me, wiping a tear from my face with the pad of his thumb.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed.

"Shhh, Bella, it's not your fault, okay?" Edward comforted me.

But I couldn't get the awful feeling out of the pit of my stomach. And I couldn't get that voice out of my head that kept telling me that I wasn't good enough to be a mother.

**SOOO there you have it. What else can happen to these 2? And where the hell are all the lemons? AHAH! Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated. **

**Side note: I started to help a friend out by beta'ing her story. I'm not really a beta – but I proof read – I don't know all the ins and outs of comma's but I catch on to some things. Anyway – if you want to check out the story it's called You, Me and Baby Makes three. **

**I started to some stories since graduating; Right now I am trying to catch up on Hit By Destiny. I am gonna read High Anxiety next...then I don't know. Someone give me a rec. Daddywards are always good...so is age gaps – Like Age of Consent – that story owned my ass. (Maybe beceause I was 17 when I met my 26 year old now husband?) **

**Again Review! **


	18. Chapter 18

**SM owns not me. **

**Ummm this isn't Beta'd it's with the beta, and once she gets it back to me I will replace it with the corrections. But she is going away for the weekend and I wasn't sure how long it take, and I wanted to get it posted well because I am a review hoor. **

**I just started adding my stories on a new site called Fresh Squeezed Lemons. **

**I also want to address Mindy who left this review after I didn't update for 15 days: Love the story but you suck you never update why do you start a story and not finish it. You reminded me why I only read finshed story's because ** like you never update or finish your stories STOP doing that please just update.**

**Ummm so in 15 days without posting a 6k word chapter means I am not going to finish the story...that's a bit dramatic. Maybe WIP's aren't for you. I have like 600 words of the next chapter written so far, I have 2 kids, I just graduated nursing school, and I have to take my state boards soon. I not only write this story, I write Wicked Angel, Collide, and Look Before you Fall. So, if it takes me two or three weeks or even a month to update that's how long it takes. If you can't handle that, stop reading it until I post the epilouge. I wish I could have responded to this privatly but you didn't log in to post your 'review' **

**On with E and B. And No one seems to care that HBD is never beta'd so here it is. If it's a total mess, pm me and tell me that way please! **

**Starla did pre-read this for me.  
**

**EPOV**

Bella got home from the hospital and she just wasn't...right. Nothing she did seemed like she meant it or felt it. I know how hard it is for parents to deal with premature babies. I figured Bella was taking it harder then most. So, when she didn't get out of bed for two days, I accommodated her.

She had only seen Masen once. When she was discharged from Upenn, we went the short distance to CHOP and saw him. She cried over his incubator. Silent tears fell from her cheeks as she watched him. So tiny, so helpless.

"Babe, he is gonna be fine. Please trust me." I tried to soothe her. She nodded her head at my words, but I don't think she believed them. I sighed as I placed my chin on her shoulder and we both just watched our son.

"I don't like to see him like this," Bella whispered.

"He will get stronger soon, and he won't need all of this. It's not forever."

"I want to go home," she told me, her voice void of feeling.

"Okay, we can come back later," I said taking her hand.

As soon as we got home, she climbed in bed. I went in to check on her around dinner time, asking her if she was hungry. I was just going to order something. She refused. I paused at the door at a loss for how to handle her sullen mood. The baby blues could be a lot worse with the added stress of having a baby pre mature. I figured she just needed some time. But I didn't want her to feel left out.

"Emma said she wanted to help make a name tag for Masen at the hospital, you wanna help us?" I asked her.

"No," she stated pulling the blankets up to her chin.

The next day, same thing. She refused to eat. She refused to get out of bed. I had to call Alice and Jasper to watch Emma, so I could go to the hospital to see Masen. She didn't even want to go see him. She told me it was too hard and upsetting to see him like that.

"Bella, please take a shower and eat...you have stitches that will get infected if you don't take care of it right. And you need to eat," I sighed sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I know it's hard right now, but you have to take care of yourself. Please, for Masen?" I asked.

She nodded. I could hardly get her to say more than three words at a time. I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her.

When I got home, I could tell she hadn't done as I asked. She still didn't get out of bed.

"I wanna say night to Belwa!" Emma said as I tucked her into bed. I wasn't sure how Bella would act towards Emma after the past two days. Maybe, seeing Emma would make her happy? I didn't want Emma to get her feelings hurt though if Bella wasn't up for it.

"Lets go see if she is awake," I said taking Emma's hand. I knocked on the door lightly, "Babe, Emma wants to say goodnight...you still awake?" I figured if she didn't answer, I would just tell Emma Bella was asleep and we could talk to her in the morning.

"Sure," she said, and Emma bounded inside throwing the door open in her excitement. Bella sat up in bed and Emma ran towards her.

"Em, careful. Bella's belly has a big boo-boo," I told her so she wouldn't jump into Bella's lap.

Emma climbed carefully into the bed with Bella, and Bella kissed the top of her head sweetly and smiled at her. "Hey bug," Bella smiled at her.

"When you gonna be better?" Emma asked her. "I misses you," Emma said burying herself into Bella's side.

"I feel better now that you are with me," Bella told her tickling her sides. I stood back and was relieved Bella seemed to be coming out of her slump. She just needed time. "Headed to bed?"

Emma nodded.

"Well have sweet dreams, bug. I love you," Bella said kissing Emma's cheek.

"Night, Belwa. I wove you," Emma said climbing out of the bed. I held my hand out to Emma and smiled at Bella. She smiled back at me but I could see how sad her eyes looked.

The past few nights, I had slept with Emma or on the couch. I missed Bella. I didn't want to smother her though.

I took time off work to focus on Emma, Masen, and Bella. In a little over a month we brought Masen home, a healthy five pounds. Bella went to see him everyday after I urged her to get out of bed with the help of Alice.

Her parents wanted to come see the baby, but Bella told them to wait until we got him home and settled. She insisted we tell my parents the same thing. It was hard not having them around to share Masen with them.

"Babe, they really want to come and give us some help," I tried to explain to her.

"Edward, I'm not in the mood for company," she told me with a pointed look.

"We wouldn't have to entertain them. They want to help us. Support us," I urged her.

"I don't want them to see me like this, Edward. I'm a mess. I feel like a horrible mother for putting everyone through this. It's my fault he is here so early and in that hospital. I just...I'm not ready to face them," Bella said looking into her lap as we drove home from our daily visit with Masen.

I let out an exaggerated sigh, "Bella, no one blames you for what happened." I told her, but really I was an ass and I did blame her. It was no wonder she didn't want to face anyone.

"I'm just not ready to face our families. Okay?" She asked me with a pleading look that begged me to drop it.

"Fine." I said letting it go.

It's not as if my parents didn't understand. They were happy to get the pictures I sent them through email, and text messages along with daily updates on Masens well being.

Alice and Jasper sat with Emma on the day Bella and I went to CHOP to bring him home. Emma was fine with Masen – as long as he wasn't invading her space. Or taking attention from _her_ Daddy or _her_ Bella.

"Emma, remember we made that room upstairs all pretty for your brother?" I asked her before we left.

She nodded.

"It's time for him to come use it. I bet he can't wait to come home and meet his big sister," I smiled at her.

"Can't he just stay at your work?" she huffed.

I shook my head and pursed my lips, "No, Emma. He can't. I'm his Daddy. And what kind of Daddy would I be if I didn't bring him home and take care of him?"

"But you is my Daddy," she said crossing her arms.

"I always will be. I will always take care you that won't change, Emma. I promise." I tried to reassure her as I pulled her onto my lap. I kissed her soft hair, smelling the bubble gum shampoo. "I love you, Emma. Having another baby doesn't change that. It just makes my heart bigger so I can love you both."

Emma nodded her head in what I hoped was understanding into my chest. "Be good for Uncle Jasper and Aunt Ally," I reminded her as always. She was never a problem, but I always said it. I handed her off to Jasper who started to tickle her sides, promising her his special grilled cheese for lunch.

"Ready Babe?" I said to Bella as I took her hand in mine.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said walking towards me. We waved by to Alice and Jasper, and rode quietly to the hospital to bring our son home.

**BPOV**

I stood in the kitchen in a trance as I stared out the window to the back yard. I went through the motions without thought or feeling. They were nothing more then mere motions, actions. robotic. I shook the bottle a few times to mix in the powder of the formula. I placed it down on the counter and lost myself.

I did that a lot since giving birth. I just got lost. Spaced out. I don't know how to explain it. There weren't many thoughts inside my head. I am not even sure if I felt anything. Empty...maybe.

I felt a tugging on the bottom of my frumpy t-shirt. "Belwa?" I heard Emma.

I looked down at her. I think I smiled. Hell, it didn't matter if I did or not. "Yeah?" I sighed

"Baby Masen is still crying," she kindly reminded me. It wasn't that I didn't hear him. I did. But it just was apart of my life. It blended in.

"I know," I said, picking up the bottle I just made for him.

For the most part, Emma was a great big sister. There were times when Edward would be holding Masen and she would squeeze her way onto his lap, or act like the scrape on her knee was gushing blood. Just being a dramatic four year old. I think her theatrics stepped up a notch since he came home, but she has adjusted so well.

Edward would laugh at her, and tell her she was nominated for an Oscar, or Emmy.

Edward still hadn't gone back to work full time, yet. He was busy trying to get my hospital bills paid for through the state. He told me not to worry about it. It would just take some time, and medicare would pay.

"Bella?" He called for me as he came in through the door. I walked out towards the living room with Masen's bottle as Edward picked him up out of the swing.

"I was just getting his bottle," I said, showing him the evidence. Edward bounced Masen lightly in his arms as he let him suck on his thumb.

"Mommy's coming buddy, it's okay," he cooed, as Emma pulled at his pant leg to get his attention. He knelt down as I took Masen from his arms to hug Emma hello.

I sat on the end of the couch cradling Masen in my arms as I held the bottle to his mouth. I hated hearing Edward call me Mommy. It didn't feel right. I could feel tears brimming my eyes at how awful I felt for not feeling more connected to being a Mother. I thought it was something I ached for. Something I wanted more than anything, but it turns out I can't even connect to my own son.

"Em, go let Mojo in from out back," Edward said patting her as he stood up and walked towards me.

I didn't look up at him. I knew the tears would spill over and I wasn't ready. I felt the couch sink in next to me and his arm wrap around my shoulder.

"Bella, I think you should tell your doctor how you feel. I know you say you are fine, but your not. I can see it. It's understandable that you would get depressed after such a hard pregnancy. It's okay to ask for help," he said as the tears flooded down my face. I could hear Emma and Mojo running through the kitchen, as she bounded up the stairs to her room.

I just nodded at him as I took still clean burp cloth off my shoulder to wipe my wet cheeks off with.

Edward handed me another cloth off the coffee table for Masen. I dabbed the corners of his mouth were formula was leaking out, before I held him to my shoulder to burp him.

Masen was Edward; Through and through. The eyes, the nose, the lips, the hair. He was like a mini-me of Edward. He was perfect. I loved him. I knew I wasn't that defective, but I just couldn't connect with the feelings.

It was as if they were buried inside me. Hiding from me. Like my mind couldn't connect to my heart. Or maybe it was my heart that couldn't connect to my mind. But I just couldn't figure it out. The more time I spent taking care of Masen, and not feeling anything, the more upset I got. What kind of person can't connect to their son?

I loved Emma. I loved Edward. Why couldn't I find that with Masen?

Guilt. I failed him. I didn't deserve him. I couldn't speak these things out loud. What would Edward think of me? I was too ashamed to tell anyone, even my doctor these things.

Soon Masen was asleep in my arms with a full belly. Edward carefully took him from me and placed him gently back in the swing to sleep with a kiss.

"Babe," he began again sitting next to me. "I know it's hard to ask for help. But you should do it for Masen...I wish you would talk to me," he said wiping a few more tears from my face.

I let him hold me for a minute before I pulled away. I smiled weakly at him, "I have a few things to get ready before our parents get here," I told him before going to busy myself with folding laundry.

I heard him sigh, obviously agitated by my mood or more likely my lack of motivation to fix it.

My parents and his parents were coming in for the baby shower that never was. Poor Alice. I know she worked so hard on planning it and it wasn't easy to postpone. But Alice can do almost anything, but I wasn't excited to put on my happy face for the next few days.

Twenty four hours later I sat in the middle of a beautiful banquet room, surrounded by family and friends. A few of my college classmates that I lost touch with since my leave of absence, even came out for the event. Masen was being passed around and I kept thanking everyone for telling me how beautiful he was or what a well behaved baby he was.

Emma was acting out. Surprise, surprise. Thank God for Jasper stepping up and bringing her a present. Because once she saw all the presents on the table, she assumed they were for her. It was hard to tell her they weren't until Jasper saved the day. Edward was trying too keep her involved too. I cringed everytime someone asked her how she liked being a big sister. "S'okay," she shrugged with indifference.

"Do you need anything B?" Jasper asked taking the empty seat next to me.

"A drink," I half joked with a small laugh.

"You got it," he smirked at me. He returned a few minutes later bearing booze. A lovely green melon ball.

"Mmmm," I said taking the first sip. "Thanks Jazz."

"Anything for you."

"Just keep em' coming. You know how it is with my parents." I took another sip, when I heard Masen start to fuss. I looked over and he was in the capable hands of Esme. She tried to give him his bottle, but he still fussed. She tried to walk him around with a bounce in her step, still didn't work. Edward came over to take him, offering him his favorite finger. He shook his head refusing it. His cries became louder. I saw Edward scanning the room for me. I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do.

Edward excused himself from his parents and started to bring Masen over to me. "Do you know what he wants?" Edward asked me.

"I'm not sure..." I told him shaking my head. Everyone was looking at us with the poor crying baby. And I was so scared they would see me for the awful mother I was. One who was unable to comfort her own child.

"Maybe he misses his Momma," Edward said, placing him in my arms. I felt myself go tense. Masen nuzzled himself into my breast and put his thumb in his mouth. Quickly settling down as his eyes got heavy. "Only a mothers touch could do that," Edward told me kissing my forehead.

I smiled at him before hugging Masen to my chest. Maybe I wasn't so defective after all.

Edward walked away to go mingle as I held Masen in my arms fast asleep, sipping on my drink. Edward walked out of the banquet room with my father just as my mom came to sit next to me.

"Honey, I am so happy for you. He really is a blessing. I'm so sorry your father and I couldn't come out sooner to help you."

"It's okay, mom. We had a lot of adjusting to do," I smiled at her.

"Well, I know everything is hectic with a new baby...and I got you something. Since your birthday kind of went unnoticed." mom said, handing me a card.

I didn't mind that my birthday came and went. Edward made me dinner, but he knew I wasn't up for celebrating when I was still getting up every few hours to breast feed.

I placed Masen in his car seat letting him sleep, once Jasper appeared with another drink for me.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked gulping down a large portion of the green goodness.

"Ah...I...No," Jasper struggled with his words.

"Whats going on?" I asked.

"Nothing, B. I don't know what your talking about," Jasper said making his exit.

**EPOV**

After I gave Masen to Bella and she calmed him down, I couldn't contian the proud smile on my face. She looked so beautiful with him. She had recently cut her hair to shoulder length, and it looked so shiny today. The baby weight literally just fell off of her, but left her a little curvier in all the right spots. Plus, her breasts were bigger. It was hard not to ravish her, but she wasn't ready. I understood.

I went to find her father. I was scared, but I figured it was the best shot I had. Since he flew on a plane, I knew he was unarmed.

"Ah, Charlie? I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment?" I asked shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Sure, Edward," he said as we began to walk out to the bar. I ordered us two beers as we sat down at the beer.

"I wanted to ask your permission to marry Bella," I told him after I chugged half my beer.

"Hmmm," he said, chugging his. "Why didn't you do this sooner? Make an honest woman of her before she had your kid?"

"I would have liked nothing more than to do that sir, But it just wasn't the right time with all the problems. I wanted to do it right...and I didn't want to add more stress to everything once the pregnancy got high risk. It was a lot of change in such a short time. I love her, and I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy. I hope we can have your blessing."

"What about her education? I don't want her to lose that because she married some hot shot doctor and doesn't need it."

"I want her to do whatever makes her happy. I have been encouraging her to start back up in January. I think an education is one of the most valuable things a person can have. Because no one can take it from you. It's an accomplishment, and I know Bella really wants to help people. I want to support her to do whatever makes her a better person. Her happiness and my childrens happiness are the most important things to me."

"As long as she is happy...you have my blessing," Charlie said, patting me on the back. We ordered two more beers, before I began to fidget with the black velvet box in my front pocket. "If you hurt her, or make her cry...I'll kill you," Charlie added with a shrug and sip of his new beer.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," I smirked into my beer bottle.

"Hey, parties in the other room," Jasper said sitting in the empty bar stool next to me.

"Yeah, so why are you out here?" I asked.

"Just getting a drink, same as you," Jasper told me with a knowing look. The bartender came up to Jasper as he slid a twenty on the bar.

"Same as before?" he asked, and Jasper nodded. The bartender returned with a bright green drink and I looked at him quizzically. Jasper never drank fruity drinks.

"She hates all this attention. There weak as shit," he added taking his change.

"You don't have to buy her drinks, I can do it," I told him.

"It's my birthday present to her, don't worry about it dude." Jasper winked at me, before leaning closer. "I got your back," he whispered with a nod of his head towards Charlie.

"Yeah, were good," I laughed.

Charlie finished his beer, and with a handshake and a good luck he made his way back to the party.

I sat in the bar stool and ordered one more beer. I was about to ask Bella to marry me, in a room full of our friends and family. I wasn't sure if it was something she would appreciate and love, or something she would prefer I do more privately.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I don't read minds. I just had to go with my original plan. Whats the worst that will happen, she blushes that beautiful rose color? I didn't think she would say no. Maybe she punishes me in bed later...fuck I wanted to be punished by her.

"Can I get another one of those green drinks?" I asked the bartender. I was going to ask him to bring out some champange or something, but since she already started drinking something else and I didn't want a repeat of New Years eve, I just figured my beer, and this green concoction would suffice.

**BPOV**

I sat close to Masens car seat where he slept peacefully as I caught up with a few friends from college. They couldn't believe how handsome Edward was. That I had a baby. That Edward was a doctor. That he was so hot. It always seemed to come back to Edward and his breath taking looks, and sex hair.

"Bella, you want to start opening your gifts?" My mom asked interrupting our discussion on sex hair and strong jaw bones.

"Sure," I said.

"Everyone," my mom called out, "Bella is going to start opening the gifts! Alice, dear you want to be her helper and make her hat?" My mom asked.

"Please, no hat!" I argued. But it was no use.

In no time at all I had a cringe worthy hat filled with lots of blue ribbon. I had Emma come up and help me open some presents, and she begged for the hat, which I happily gave to her.

Edward sat close by handing me presents with his swoon worthy smile. And God I missed him. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach everytime he smiled at me. Or mouthed "I love you," to me. I began to realize how long it had been since I had physical contact with him. Since having Masen, we haven't even really had a passionate kiss. I missed his tongue. And his fingers, And his dick...I missed the way he talked dirty and I never thought I would say this, but I missed anal sex.

I crossed my legs trying to make myself more comfortable as I opened the last gift, my thoughts on naughty, naughty things. Definitely not babies, onesies, and the hundred or so bibs I got.

"Thanks so much, everyone." I smiled as I went to stand up.

"Um, there is one more present," Edward said standing up.

"Really?" I said glancing at the empty gift table. When I turned back around, Edward was down on one knee. I heard a few people gasp, as I stood there in shock. I was a little wobbly on my feet from the three drinks Jasper supplied me with, but I was far from drunk.

"Bella, I love you so much. You have always been there for me and Emma, and that means so much to me. I know our life hasn't been easy, or perfect but I wouldn't trade it for anything. And love isn't finding the perfect person, its seeing an imperfect person perfectly. Would you please do me the honor of becoming my wife? Marry me Bella?" He asked as he opened a black box housing a oval diamond ring that looked antique.

I could feel my face turning red from all the attention on me. I was so shocked. I couldn't even speak. So I just nodded my head yes.

Edward stood up, and for the first time in months, his lips crashed against mine with a moan our tongues moved against each others. I could hear our family clapping and cheering for us.

I blushed a little as I pulled away from the kiss happily taking another melon ball from Edward. I wasn't one to bask in attention. "I love you," I whispered to him as he rested his forehead against mine. My fingers danced along his beautiful face and I tried to keep my tears at bay.

Soon, we were bombarded with hugs and congratulations. "Bella, you know we always considered you apart of the family," Esme told me with a warm hug.

Alice came over with Emma on her hip, and hugged me. Excited to be engaged together. "Aren't you excited Em that Daddy's marrying Bella?" Alice asked Emma.

"I don't need a mommy no more, mines is in zona wiff da cactus trees," Emma said.

"Emma, just cause daddy and I are getting married doesn't mean I am trying to replace your mommy. We talked about this with Dr. Irina, remember?" I tried to remind her. We talked about how important it was not to bad mouth Kate to Emma. That it would only make her feel bad or like she had to defend her. In time when Emma was older she would be able to understand better what happened.

"Daddy said you'd be my mommy when he married you," Emma told us.

"Emma, that's only if you want me too, okay?" I tried to assure her.

"I don't want you too. You can be Masen's mommy but not mine!" Emma said crossing her arms.

"Emma!" Alice gasped in shock. "You can't talk to Bella that way!"

"Whats going on?" Edward asked wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Nothing," I smiled. "We can talk about it at home...later." I stated hoping Alice wouldn't push it. Now was not the time or place to get Emma upset.

"Emmett and Jasper are loading up the car with all the gifts so we can get ready to go. Do you need anything else before we head out?" Edward asked with a few kisses to my neck.

I held up my empty glass with a smirk, indicating another drink. He took it, and returned with a full glass moments later.

**EPOV**

Everyone helped us unload all the gifts at the house. Bella's parents were sleeping in the living room on the pull out sofa and so all the packages were taken upstairs to clutter our bedroom floor.

Bella stumbled in the front door with the help of my dad, as I carried in Masen. It wasn't exactly late, only seven o'clock, and Bella was trashed.

"You smell pretty, Dr. C," Bella slurred as my father held her up. "Hey, Edward is Dr, C too!" Bella said excitedly.

"Thanks," dad said, helping her to sit down on the couch. "How about we get you some water?" he asked.

"Ah...I think I'd rather have another one of those green drinks," Bella squinted as she carefully said each word.

"No more green drinks," I told her, handing her a bottle of water. I started to walk towards the kitchen because Renee had asked for help opening a bottle of wine. I didn't really want Bella to find out about it.

"Come back to me, Dr. C," Bella cooed.

My dad was trying to contain his laughter as I sunk into the couch next to my drunk fiance. "Yes, baby?"

Bella's fingers began to walk up my thigh as I sat next to her. I pulled her hand off my leg as it got closer to my crotch, and placed a kiss on fingertips. Now was not the time for her to get all flirty and sexy with me. Not with her father staring daggers at me, and mine trying to hide his amusement.

"Edward," Bella breathed heavily into my neck as she sloppily licked up my jaw.

"Bella, why don't I take you upstairs to lie down?" I asked, wanting to end the show she was trying to put on.

"Mmmm, I wanna lie down upstairs with you," she giggled as I pulled her up. Charlie grunted. He was not pleased.

"Excuse us, for just a few minutes, please." I asked everyone as Bella stumbled on the first step forgetting to actually lift her foot to step up. I glared at Jasper and pointed at him, "This is all your fault."

He shrugged, "Just showing a girl a good time," he laughed. "Man, I missed drunk B." Alice slapped him in the chest as I continued to fight against the stairs. Bella couldn't seem to remember to lift her feet.

I got sick of the all the stumbling and picked her up.

I put her down at the top of the stairs and once we reached the bedroom she stumbled over her feet as she tried to peel off her skin tight skinny jeans. Then she aggressively pulled off her top. I started to pull out some flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt for her out of her dresser. I looked up to see her unclasp her bra and letting the straps fall off her shoulders then down her arms leaving her perky breasts exposed.

I licked my lips at the sight of her walking towards me. She wrapped her arms around me pressing her tits against my back. Her hands traveled up and down my chest until her one hand began to palm my hard on over my jeans.

Parents downstairs. Can't have sex. Not now. Later. I repeated in my head over and over. "I got you some comfy clothes," I told her as I turned around to face her.

"I want to stay naked," she told me trailing the tips of her fingers over her breast.

"Bella, we have company downstairs," I reminded her.

"Hmmm," she hummed as her hand slid down her stomach and into her panties.

"Babe," I said in a pleading tone as I approached her. "Not right now," I couldn't believe I was turning down sex. Its been months. I've been jerking off like a mad man. Picturing the day Bella and I would make love again. Sometimes it was sweet and loving, because that is what I wanted it to be like once we could again. Other times though, it was rough, hard, and involved things like anal beads. I needed to think about something else. We couldn't do this right now. I couldn't stay up here and have sex with her while she was drunk and our parents sat downstairs waiting for my return. I wouldn't be able to look any of them in the eye.

Bella began to suck on my neck right below my ear, and I could feel her hand moving against herself as she pressed her body against mine.

"Please, baby. We can't. I gotta get Emma to bed. Later we can," I said stepping away from her.

"Give me my clothes," she said coldly. I handed her the clothes with an apology. She pulled the shirt over her head and when her head popped out her eyes were clouded with tears.

I went to go hug her, but she pulled away. "Don't touch me," she said as the liquid escaped down her face.

"Believe me Bella, I want too," I tried to assure her, because I knew she felt rejected. "I just don't want to do it like this, rushed...I want to worship you."

"Just leave, okay?" she said with a hiccup escaping.

"Don't be upset, I love you," I told her stepping towards her again, but she only stepped away from me. More tears falling.

I had a feeling a breakdown wasn't far with her avoidance of possibly have post partum depression.

"LEAVE!" she screamed, pointing toward the door.

"Bella calm down," I pleaded with her. I didn't care if everyone heard her yelling. I couldn't leave. She already felt as if I rejected her. If I left it would only cement that in her mind stronger.

"FUCK OFF!" she yelled through her tears, and choked sobs. I pulled her close to me in a tight hug. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" she fought against me.

"No," I told her hoping she would give up.

"EDWARD! I FUCKING MEAN IT! DON'T TOUCH ME!" she wiggled free and pushed me away. She lost her balance when she shoved me and her back hit the corner of the dresser making her scream out in pain, before she feel into the wall with a loud bang. She sunk on the ground in tears.

I rushed over to her, "I'm fine," she seethed. I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I;m sure she thought she was fine. No pain when you are that intoxicated.

Bella sat against the wall in only her t-shirt as her father burst through the door, "What the hell is going on up here?" he asked with an accusing look in his eyes.

"Bella had too much to drink today," I tried to remind him.

"Bells, whats going on?" Charlie asked kneeling next to Bella.

"I just want to be left alone," she told him unable to look in his eyes.

"Did he hurt you?" Charlie asked pointing at me over his shoulder with his thumb.

"That's ridiculous!" I couldn't believe he would even think that. If Bella weren't so drunk, this wouldn't have even been a fight.

Charlie stood up and faced me, "I didn't ask you, I asked my daughter! Who I've heard yelling at you to let her go, then a few loud bangs so it's not ridiculous!"

"I would never hurt her like that!" I told him raising my voice a little.

"I'm FINE!" Bella yelled trying to get up.

"You don't sound fine," Charlie said helping to steady her on her feet.

Bella found her way to the bed and climbed under the covers. She brought them over her head and I Charlie and I glared at each other.

"It's spinning Edward, make it stop spinning," Bella whined under the blankets. I went to sit on the bed and pulled the blankets from her face.

"I wish I could," I said stroking her face. "Just try and sleep it off, I'll get you some water," I told her as I stood up.

"Oh god!" she said darting out of the bed and into the bathroom, throwing up violently into the toilet. I went in and held her hair back.

Charlie gave me a look that said he was sorry for accusing me of hurting her. He knew how much I loved her, enough to hold her hair back while she threw up. "I guess you got this under control...I'll just..." Charlie said as he awkwardly left. Leaving me to take care of his daughter.

Which was fine, there wasn't anything else in the world I wanted to do but take care of her for the rest of my life.

**Teaser will be posted on the Twilighted thread. If you need me to send you one let me know in your review. **


	19. Chapter 19

**SM owns, not me. **

**This is winding down. We have an Epi left. And I just wanted to thank everyone that went over and checked out the new story I started Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers.**

**HippieStarr is my awesome pre-reader, for like everything. **

**Love you all for the awesome support for this story. It means soooo much to me! **

**BPOV**

My cell phone rang and vibrated along the kitchen counter as Edward and I cleaned up the dishes from dinner. I grabbed the phone as Jake's name flashed across the screen. I grabbed the phone and pushed the green button.

Edward looked at me as I flashed him a smile, I slid out the patio doors off the kitchen and onto the small deck to take the phone call.

"Jake, hey," I smiled into the phone, making sure Edward couldn't hear who I was talking to. I don't know why I was hiding it. I wasn't planning on sleeping with him again, or seeing him.

For some reason, it was easy to talk to him. He made me smile and laugh. It wasn't like before when we were sleeping together. It was complicated then. We used each other. He wasn't exactly the first person I thought of to be a friend or whatever, it all happened so unexpectedly.

Three days ago, Emma got Mojo all riled up and it was nuts in my house. Emma ran in circles around him as he chased after her, and as Masen cried, and as I asked Emma to stop running in the house. Well, asked isn't exactly how I would say it, it's more like I yelled it.

My patience was thin. My head always seemed to hurt. I never felt energized. I didn't want to do anything but sleep or hide under the security of my blankets.

Next thing I know, Emma trips and lands on Mojo's front leg. Mojo yelps in pain. Emma cries because she fell, and Masen who I just settled starts to cry.

"Emma! What did I tell you?" I yelled at her, ignoring the complaint she has of being hurt. Mojo won't put his leg down, he holds it up limply as he continues to let out soft whimpers.

Just what we needed, an emergency vet bill. It's after six at night, I'm had to take him to the Emergency care center.

I waited for Edward to get home and he looks at the paw and offered to take Mojo, but I couldn't wait to get out of the house.

Edward scooped up Mojo, as I slipped on my shoes and jacket. He walked with me out to the car placing the dog in the front seat. "Thanks," I said, as he shuts the car door.

"Keep me updated?" Edward asked as I climbed in the drivers seat. "Love you," he added with a peck on the lips.

"Love you too." With that Edward shut my door.

Next thing I know, I am waiting in an exam room and in walks Jacob Black. I grind my teeth at the sight of him.

"Bella!" he says like we are old friends. I actually want to grab my dog and walk the fuck out, but I can't.

So I plastered on a fake smile, "Jacob," I try to mimic his enthusiasm.

"I didn't know you got a dog," he says coming over to take a look at Mojo and pet him. "How are you?" he asked.

"Fine, and you?" I decided to be pleasant. For the simple fact that I couldn't walk out, I had to endure this.

"Oh you know, same as before. Maybe a little worse since I let you slip away," he told me with a wink.

"You couldn't have held on to me even if you tried." I tell him with a hint of my snarky snotty attitude.

"Still with that Edward guy from Washington?" he asked me leaning against the metal exam table Mojo is fast asleep on.

"I am. Happily engaged to him." I showed him the ring on my finger to prove it. I don't want to tell him about Masen. All it will do is make him think that is the only reason we are getting married, and it isn't.

"Well, congratulations," the way he said it, I actually believe he is sincere.

I returned the sincerity with a smile, and thanked him before he engulfed me in a hug.

And it felt nice. Next thing I know, he is carrying Mojo out to my car and asking me if it's okay if he calls, and for some reason I agree.

He has held true and has called me, everyday since.

"Do you want to meet up for a drink, sometime?" he asked me, as I moved away from the sliding glass doors terrified Edward would hear me.

"I don't think I can," I honestly don't even want to answer the phone when he calls. Talking to him made me feel better and worse all at the same time. I loved the way he could make me smile, because it didn't happen much. But I hated the feeling of guilt I felt in my gut.

I did want to get out though, and I made a point to text Alice that I needed a girls not out after I spent a few minutes outside on the phone with Jake before I made my way back in.

Edward smiled at me, Masen was happily sucking on his index finger and the clean up was brought to a halt. "Who was on the phone?"

"Just an old friend from school," that was what I told him the last two times Jake had called me.

**EPOV**

I noticed Bella, talking on her cell phone a lot more. She told me it was an old friend. I don't not trust her, but I am jealous. It hurts because I watched her outside and she laughed and smiled while on the phone with this person I don't know.

Why can't I do that for her?

I knew we couldn't keep going the way we are. She needed help.

I'm a doctor, I fix people. Why can't I fix her? The most important woman in the world to me, why can't I fix her?

I sat up in bed, waiting for her to come back from putting Masen to bed. When she came in the room, I put down my book.

"Bella, we need to talk," I started off.

"Edward, I'm really tired, can this wait?" She asked me.

"No, it can't," I told her. Because I couldn't take her telling me one more time that she was fine. Or watch her drink herself stupid one more night. I couldn't watch her look at our son like he wasn't the most amazing being she had ever laid eyes on. She was being stubborn, and she would regret it one day when she saw everything she missed out on.

I wanted her heart to break the first time his cheeks got wet with his tears. But she didn't seem to be phased. I wanted her to worry about all the shots she had to take him to get at his well visits. Most mom's panic more than the infant. Not Bella.

"When you get sick, it starts off with a single infection. Pretty soon the intruder duplicates. Becomes two. Then those two become four. And those four become eight. Then, before your body knows it, it's under attack. It's an invasion. Then the question for a doctor is, once the invaders have landed, once they've taken over your body, how the hell do you get rid of them?" I began hoping she would see the parallel with her depression.

"Edward, is there a point to this?" She sighed, pulling her hair out of the messy bun.

"Shhh, just listen to me for a minute," I urged her. "What do you do when the infection hits you, when it takes over? Do you do what you're supposed to and take your medicine? Or do you learn to live with the thing and hope someday it goes away? Or do you just give up entirely and let it kill you?" I asked her.

"I um, I guess I take the medicine," Bella said knitting her eyebrows together.

"Yeah, I mean it makes sense. What doesn't, is why you won't. Are you hoping to learn to live with depression? Are you accepting that you might not ever be truly happy again, that you might not ever find that connection with Masen? Are you hoping it just goes away? Because I can't live like that. It freakin breaks my heart. Please, Baby. Do it for me. For you," I begged her. "Get help."

"Edward, I am F-" Bella started before I interrupted her. I could feel my teeth grind together in aggravation.

"Do not say the word fine. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine," I told her staring at her sternly. "You need to talk to someone, anyone. I wish you would tell me what your feeling"

"Edward, I feel like I'm defective okay? I feel like I don't love my son like I should. It's not something I feel proud of, I'm ashamed by." Bella finally told me, her cheeks glistening with moisture from her tears.

I hugged her close and whispered in her ear, "Oh, Bella." I tilted her chin up to meet my gaze before I spoke to her. "You are not defective. You hormones are out of whack, the pregnancy wasn't easy. You love him so much, that you are pushing him away and hiding from that love, all because of one mistake that anyone could have made. You have to stop punishing yourself for that. He is here, he is healthy, and he needs you." I told her, as she laid her head against my heart. "Bella, you know his cries, you know what he wants as soon as you hear it. And you know that cry that starts off soft and turns into gasping?"

"Yeah," Bella sniffled into my chest as she shook her head.

"What does he want?" I asked her.

"Me," she cried out harder.

"And if you are not here, it doesn't matter if I am, I can't give him the comfort he gets from your voice, from your heartbeat, from your scent. All I can do is pray you walk through the door. Then you do, and the first thing you do is take him from me, and his gasps turns into whimpers and in less than a minute there is silence. You love him. You know exactly how to care for him, and you do it. You don't even hesitate to make sure he is taken care of. I don't know why you won't allow yourself to feel more, part of it is probably your hormones and another part is probably the stress of his delivery. You need to seek help. You are going to wake up one morning and have so many regrets for feeling so detached. It;s not going to get better, or easier. It's going to grow bigger and deeper inside of you."

She didn't say anything. But I held her, and I let her cry, and I told her how much I loved her. I brought her into my lap, and I rubbed her back and kissed her head. Finally, she looked up at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, I could see the need in them as she brought her mouth to mine and kissed me.

My hands held her face as the kiss began as sweet pecks, then she smiled and I smiled back. I kissed her again deeper letting my tongue dance with hers, my hands moved to her hips and I pulled her on top of me.

She pulled out of the kiss, and discarded her shirt tossing it on the floor. Her breasts fuller, and her nipples erect, I couldn't control the urge to lick them. I darted my tongue out swiping each hardened nipple with my sharp tongue.

Bella shuddered on top of me, her back arched away from me in pleasure. I held her hips and pulled her back to me, sucking her left breast into my mouth. My teeth skimmed across her nipple and I bite down gently across both her tits. I sat up, so I could have better access to her breasts and mouth her collarbone. My tongue slid across her collarbone, between her breasts, and then she bucked her hips against my now very erect cock.

Her hips moved against my hard on, "Oh, fuck," I moaned in pleasure, my face buried in her breasts.

My hands wrapped around her and slipped under her underwear as I cupped her ass, my hands kneading and massaging the soft flesh. I used my grip on her ass cheeks to move her against my dick.

In one swift motion I flipped her beneath me, attacking her neck with my mouth and holding her tightly with one arm behind my back I used my free hand to slip out of my pants.

With the tips of my fingers I rubbed over her thin underwear. I could feel the warmth and wetness soaking though. "So wet for me," I whispered in her ear between my open mouth kisses below her ear.

She lifted her hips from the bed as I pulled down her damp panties.

She bent her knees as I kneeled between them, leaving her spread and completely exposed before me. I moved my hand up and down the shaft of my cock as I watched Bella use her index finger to circle her swollen clit. "I love when you touch yourself," I breathed heavily watching her move her fingers inside herself.

I moved my dick to her center as I rubbed it up and down her wet slit, letting the tip of my cock tease her clit. "I need to feel you," Bella pleaded raising her hips toward me.

I stilled my motions at her entrance and slowly let myself slip inside. I held her close as I let my forehead rest on hers, trying to even out my heavy breathing. "I love you," I told her when I moved my hips, letting myself go deeper inside of her.

The next morning it felt amazing to wake up wrapped in Bella. I inhaled the scent of her hair leaving a soft kiss on her temple.

It took me a minute to realize we weren't alone, Masen was sleeping soundly in the crook of Bella's arm. I smiled at how beautiful they both looked. I was pleasantly surprised, because I didn't even hear him wake up last night. And when he did wake in the middle of the night, Bella rarely got up to get him.

"Hey," she smiled at me, her voice filled with sleep.

"Hi," I smiled back, tucking her hair behind her ear. She moved Masen off her arm and placed him next to me with a peck on my lips.

"I'm going to get showered, then see if I can be seen today at the doctors," she told me.

I nodded at her with a warm smile, and watched her climb out of bed. I snuggled with Masen, and soon was joined by Emma.

Bella's phone started to ring a few seconds after she turned the water off in the shower. I reached for it on the night stand and looked as the name Jacob flashed across her screen.

I gritted my teeth, wondering why the hell this asshole was calling Bella. "Hello," I said tersely.

"Ah..H-hi-hey," he stuttered. "Is this Edward?" he asked.

"Yes," I told him.

"Hey, Bella told me about the engagement, congratulations," he told me, and I was surprised and a bit relieved.

"Thanks," I told him right as Masen began to cry. "Is there something we can do for you, Jacob?" I asked as I picked up Masen to bring him into his room for a new diaper.

"Just wanted to say hello to Bella. How's Mojo's leg? I was on call the night Bella brought him in," he told me, and I wondered how long these two have been talking.

"Fine, thanks." I don't want to tell him I will let Bella know he called because I don't want her talking to him, but that seems a bit controlling. I don't want to be the guy that tells her she can't be friends with an ex, but I am beginning to suspect this is the person who has been making her smile, and I'm jealous.

"Listen, Bella's not around," I told him.

"Right, well. I can call back," Jake told me.

"You do that," I can't help the annoyance in my voice as I let the cell phone drop from where I had it cradled against my shoulder and ear.

I finish with Masen's diaper, and he smiled up at me almost making me forget how aggravated I was with Jacob.

When I turned around, Bella was in the doorway wrapped in a towel, "You got a phone call, from Jacob," I told her staring daggers. I really didn't want to be like that, but I couldn't control it.

"Oh, huh," she said, toweling her hair dry with another towel. I don't know what she is trying to hide, or if she is trying to hide anything, it just made me more pissed.

"Is that your old friend from school Bella?" I asked her.

"I saw him at the vet, and we caught up, and so what we have been talking," she explianed.

"If it's like that Bella, why not tell me? Why were you hiding it from me?" I accused her.

"Because...I don't know...I didn't want to deal with a reaction like this!" she told me.

"Bella, I don't care who you are friends with or whatever, I do care that you lied to me about it," I didn't want to fight with her. It wasn't a battle I wanted to start, I just wanted her to know how I felt. All I wanted was for her to focus on getting better. I wanted her to be able to tell me anything and everything.

I missed her.

"I'm sorry," she told me as she hugged the towel close to her body.

"It's fine," I said, kissing her cheek as Masen and I headed downstairs so I could get him a bottle.

**BPOV**

After I got ready, I went to my doctor who was great. She started me on anti-depressants and assured me I wasn't abnormal or a bad mother.

In a little over the week, I began to feel better. I felt more like myself everyday. It was the hardest year of my life, and I was still alive. I still had Edward, who I couldn't live without. I was beginning to see how lucky I was. Not how cursed or awful.

How lucky I was to be alive. To have Masen, well and without any major health problems. To have Edward who, yeah, could sometimes be a jerk, no one is perfect, but he loved me perfectly.

I re-enrolled back in school, and started taking classes. I still talked to Jake, Edward and I even met him for drinks one night. It was...interesting.

Edward was back to working crazy long shifts at the hospital, and we missed him. When I was at school, I was close to Edward at work, so we would meet for lunch some days if he had time. I didn't really like the way the one nurse Bree looked at him, or talked to him.

Edward sensed it, and didn't let go of my hand. He kissed my head. He said, "You remember my beautiful fiance Bella, right Bree?" I couldn't erase the smile from my face when he said.

Everything was getting back to normal. Then I came home, and got the mail. In it was a letter from the one person I knew Edward and I never wanted to hear from again. Kate.

I waited for Edward to get home. I was anxious to see what she had to say, but I didn't dare open it.

Finally when he got home, I showed him the letter. "Don't flip out," I said handing it over to him.

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I can't do it, I want to just throw it away," he told me.

I went to take it from him to throw away, but I'm really curious. "Why don't you let me read it? If it's garbage you never have to know what she had to say," I offered him.

"Read it out loud," he told me sure of what he was asking.

"Just remember, Babe, it might make you upset, and we have to remember she is sick," he nodded at me as I ripped open the envelope.

It's a two page letter and I unfold it. I cleared my throat, and began to read.

"Dear Edward, I know you are probably the last person on earth you want to hear from. I just wanted the chance to tell Emma how sorry I am for all the pain I caused her. I know what I did was wrong. I know that I am sick, and I know that isn't good enough. The next page is a letter I wrote to Emma, and if you read it to her, or tell her about it someday, or you burn it, I can't control that. She is your daughter and you know what is best for her." I stop to look up at Edward. That was the end of Edward's letter.

"Want me to read Emma's?" I asked him. He nodded again. I take in a deep breath, "Emma, I know you don't understand everything that happened. I know someday when you do, you will be angry with me, and that is okay. I never earned my place in your life as your Mother, and I took that from your friend Bella. I made a mistake, and I lost the chance to call myself Mom. Bella loves you. And it would make me feel really happy if you let Bella be a Mommy to you. You are a special little girl, and I want you to have a Mommy that loves you, and I think Bella would be perfect." My voice got shaky and tears came to my eyes.

I don't know what to say. What to think. I don't know if Edward will want to read this to Emma or not.

I looked up to meet his eyes. He was just as stunned as I was. "What are you going to do?" I finally asked him.

"Ah...I don't know. I guess the best place to figure out how to handle it is ask the therapist on our next visit."

I tried not to look disappointed because I really wanted to be that person to Emma. It was so rewarding to be Masen's mother, and for the first time ever, Kate and I agreed on something.

That week we brought the letter with us to therapy. And with her help, we shared the letter with Emma. Taking the time to answer her questions. Explaining to her that not all Mommy's have to grow the baby inside them, and how all you need to do is love.

I told her how much I want to be her Mommy. That a Mommy does more than grow babies in bellies. We didn't force her to tell us anything. We just told her to do whatever she wanted. It was hard to explain that all to her.

She was very quite, but the only time she really gets excited in therapy is when the session revolved around games.

Later that night, Edward and I went in to tuck her in.

"Goodnight, Daddy," she told Edward with a kiss.

I bent down to kiss her forehead, "Night bug," I smiled at her, pushing her hair off her forehead.

"Night, Mommy," I looked up at Edward, and he was smiling wide at her words. I had to tell myself to shut my mouth. I reached down for her and hugged her close.

"I love you, Emma," I told her.

My life was finally becoming perfectly imperfect.

**SO, the epi might be a while, cause I know you all want a juicy lemon, and I want to know what kind of kinky fuckery you want to see from these 2. Leave your suggestions in your review. **


	20. Chapter 20 Epilogue

**SM owns not me. **

**I just want to thank EVERYONE who read this story and waited patiently for all the updates. I can't believe it's over. You guys really rock, and I am just BLOWN away from the response this story has gotten. I still get alerts and reviews from new readers on a daily basis, and I know that is because of recs and word of mouth, so thank you to everyone. **

**We have been through soooo much it seems. Kidnapping. Lies. Near death. HEA was always the goal. **

**I didn't have this beta'd cause I just want to give it to you guys already! **

**BPOV**

I stare at myself in the mirror. I turn to the right, then the left. I try to see how my ass looks. I smooth out the white lace material, and feel the thick satin bow around my waist.

"Are you sure my boobs will be okay?" I ask Alice. The wedding dress is strapless and mermaid cut. It's all lace, with small crystals throughout the bottom. My hair is parted to the side and swept into a low bun, with a flower hair piece behind my ear.

"Yes, Bella. You look beautiful," Alice assures me as she puts the finishing touches on my make up.

Emma walks ahead of everyone dropping pink rose petals in her tiered white dress. We let her pick the bridesmaid colors, I was surprised when she picked burnt orange. It actually works perfectly for the fall wedding.

I take my fathers arm, he tells me I look beautiful and we walk down the aisle.

I look at Edward. He looks like he lost his ability to breathe. I know the feeling because he looks so handsome. His hair is tamed, newly cut, and parted to the side. He has on a a black bow tie and vest underneath his jacket. He mouths "I love you," and I feel tears in my eyes. I don't try to hide them. There is a reason Alice used waterproof makeup.

Emmett stands next to him, as his best man, Carlisle is another groomsman, and he is holding Masen. His daddy looks almost as handsome. Masen in a tux though, not even Edward can compare.

Edward takes my hand from my fathers and in front of a hundred of our friends and family we declare our love. We laugh when Masen squirms and fusses a little during the ceremony. It wouldn't be complete without his outbreaks of "Ma!" Carlisle has trouble keeping him still, and I can see it's stressing him out, even though I don't mind a bit.

"MA!" Masen screams for the sixth time. I look away from Edward, and turn to the Pastor. "One minute?" I ask. He smiles and nods. There is no rush. We have forever. I extend my arms to take my son. I place him on my hip and pray he doesn't get to grabby with my boobs. I kiss his copper head.

"Go on," I tell the pastor, focusing my attention back on Edward.

The pastor pronounces us man and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Edward pulls me close and kisses me. Masen flips out. Pushing him away. Masen is possessive of me, just like his Daddy. Edward laughs at him, and takes him from me. He passes him back to Emmett, and kisses me again.

I can hear Masen, "MA! MA!" I laugh against Edwards lips, and I can feel his smile against mine.

And the wedding couldn't have been more perfect. Even with all the imperfections. It was perfect.

I can't wait to leave the kids with my parents while we honeymoon in Aruba. Kids. It's so surreal. I mean I am twenty-one. I have kids. A husband. Not where I pictured myself at all.

We party hard that night. Edward dances a lot with Emma before his mom takes her and Masen to one of the two hotel rooms we got for the night.

I can't wait to go up. Edward grabs my hand and leads me to the elevator as we wave goodbye to our friends and family that are still at the hotel bar drinking. When we are in the elevator Edward holds my face in his hands and kisses me.

We get to our room and Edward opens the door, literally sweeps me off my feet, and carries me inside.

"Mrs. Cullen," he whispers against my face. I love the way it sounds.

I excuse myself to go freshen up. I have a white corset under my dress attached to my white thigh high stockings with a garter belt, and a lacy white thong.

When I come out to meet Edward he tells me to turn around, I can see his hardness tenting his dress pants. His bow tie is off, as is his jacket, the vest is open and the first few buttons of his crisp white shirt.

His hair is messy again, and before I turn around I run my fingers through it. Once I turn around he is on his knee's behind me, his hands hold my hips while his mouth sucks and gently bites my ass cheeks.

His hands move to my stomach and up to my breast with hard needy grasps. He starts to untie the corset in the back and loosen the satin ribbon, taking it off.

He turns me around while he remains on his knees in front of me, and his mouth attacks my still covered center. I moan in pleasure. I push his head closer to me, my hands pulling at his hair.

He pushes me to sit on the bed and pulls my underwear off, kissing my inside of my thighs slowly leaving me in just my stockings and garter belt, he pulls me to the edge of the bed and goes back to work.

His tongue enters me, and I pull his face into my pussy harder. His tongue licks up and down my slit and I move my hands to hold the sheets, because I am afraid I will hurt him.

He moves my legs up, and his tongue moves to my other hole. I moan surprised by the feeling of his tongue inside the tight hole. His fingers pump in and out of me while his tongue swirls and slightly stretches me.

He stands up, "Touch yourself, for me," he demands. I don't hesitate. I move my fingers inside myself. I am so wet. I watch him take off his clothes and stroke himself a few times before coming back to me.

"Spread those lips open for me," he tells me before he places the head of his cock at my entrance. He teases me with it, moving it up and down my wet opening before pushing inside of me.

He holds my legs up and open as he moves easily in and out. After a few strokes he pulls it out, "Suck it, baby," he grunts. I take him in my mouth, tasting myself. I swirl my tongue around the tip and taste him.

"Fuck, Bella," he whispers, when I feel him curve down my throat. He pulls out, and kisses me opened mouth and his tongue feels thick inside my mouth.

"I want you on your hands and knees," he tells me. I love it that way, he doesn't have to ask twice.

I let my chest lie flat against the bed, my ass in the air waiting for him. I feel a slight sting when his hand slaps my ass, and my fingers go to my clit. Edward puts his finger in my mouth and I suck on it while he pounds in and out of me.

When I release his finger, he enters it in my ass. "It's been too long," Edward breathes heavily against my neck. He grabs my chin and turns my head toward him, "since I've had you there," he tells me with another kiss, his tongue moves roughly against mine.

His one finger turns into two, and I ache for him to fill the hole more. His dick is so slick from my pussy, we don't even need lube.

He pushes himself inside my ass slowly. I can hear him grunting and hissing with each inch that enters.

"Ahhhh, shiiiitttt," he hisses against my neck once he is all the way inside.

I move forward on my knee's then push back, I forgot how much I enjoyed this feeling. He grips my hips and guides me back and forth on his dick. Slow and hard.

He pulls it out, and tells me to spread my ass cheeks as he enters again, pulls all the way out, then shoves back in.

My face presses down against the bed, Edward's arm wraps around me and his fingers move against my sensitive bud.

I feel the tighting in my stomach, my toes curl, and I come hard against his hand. I move back and forth with more urgency and I can feel him exploded inside me.

"Fuck," he says trying to catch his breath. "I love you so fucking much," he tells me.

The next day, we are sitting on the beach, Edward is burying my feet in the sand. His lips keep kissing the top of my breasts. I'm wearing a white one piece but it separates between my breasts all the way down to my belly button.

I tell him to stop, but I don't mean it. "Let's go back to the room and make another baby," he tells me and I laugh.

"Um, no. No more babies for me," I tell hm. "At least not until I am done school. And your done your residency. It's hard not having you home for three days straight sometimes," I pout.

"Oh the hardships of marrying a doctor," he laughs.

**Three Years Later**

Once I graduated UPenn, Masen was three, Emma was seven going on seventeen, and Edward was itching for another baby. I got a job at an adoption agency, and shortly after found myself pregnant. I council people to consider adoption. I set up foster homes. I help teenage girls that I see myself in make the best choice for them. Not their parents, not their boyfriends, but them. I don't want them to make a choice they will regret later on like I did.

For some people, that might be the right choice, I just want to make sure girls know the difference. Know that the choice is from them.

I know it wasn't meant to be, it was probably for the best, but I think I could live with that choice better if I made it for me, and not Michael.

It was such an easy pregnancy. I was happy and healthy. Edward was even happier. The man loved being a father. Hearing him being called Daddy, still melted my heart. When we went for my ultrasound, he told me he was screwed when he saw a little girl growing inside me.

The technician didn't even get a chance to ask whether we wanted to know. Edward was fixated. I think he was even itching to take the wand to focus on her face. He kept asking the tech to stay right there, or move it over just a little more. We got a lot of pictures, and video.

I helped Rose and Emmett with a private adoption of newborn twins. A boy and a girl. They were really excited. Rose saw that having a child didn't mean as much as taking care of them. Finnegan Thomas and Sawyer Rebecca Cullen were welcomed into the family with a huge celebration.

Scarlet was only a few months old when I came across Riley at work. He was a year older then Emma, and every foster home he was placed in didn't last. When he was walked into my office, something inside of me ached for him.

I told Edward about him. I told him I wanted to help him. It wasn't ideal with a newborn, it wasn't perfect, nothing ever is. I couldn't place this boy with another family just to have him back in my office six months later. I couldn't take it if something happened or he ran away. He was just a child.

Edward agreed to meet him, and somehow in less than a year we added two more people into our family.

**Seven Years Later**

I look at Masen, and I smile. His hair is long and he pushes it back to put on his baseball hat. He stands on the pitcher mound and throws a curve ball that results in strike one.

"That's it, baby!" I yell at him from the bleachers. Edward stands with me whistles with his fingers then claps.

On his shoulders sits, Scarlet. Her brown hair blows across her face hiding her fathers eyes from my view. She loves her daddy.

I can't believe Masen is eleven already.

"Where is Emma and Riley?" Edward asks me. I turn around to see if I can find her. I spot her by the snack bar. She is going to give Edward a heart attack. She's growing into a beautiful young women. He told her today she had on too much make up and that her shorts were too short. She didn't change, I even think she added more eyeliner.

She has her fathers eyes. Her mothers round cheekbones that are set high. Her blonde hair and her O shaped mouth. But she is my daughter. Masen's sister. Scarlet's sister. Riley's sister.

She told me once after Scarlet was born, she felt different. She felt like she didn't belong because Masen came from me and Edward, so did Lettie, and she just came from Edward. I told her she came from me too. That without her, we wouldn't have a family. She pulled us together, she made sure she tied our strings to hers, so we could be the family we are today.

I told her the parts of me she has. Her sense of humor. The way she chews on her bottom lip. The way she shoves her hands in her back pockets and shifts on her feet. The way she pushes her hand through her hair. The way she tells a story. It's me. She is my daughter.

She isn't any less than Masen or Lettie. That would be like telling her Finn and Sawyer aren't loved perfectly by Rose and Emmett, and she knows I am right. She knows the depth of love. She knows how much we are capable, how much room is in our hearts. She saw that with Riley. I know she loves him the way she loves Masen. They are her brothers, even if they didn't come from the same places.

So she has never screamed at me that I'm not her mother, no matter what. It doesn't matter how angry she is, she never says it. Because I am, and nothing can take that from us.

"Ahhh, she is by the snack bar," I tell Edward, hoping I don't have to tell him she is kissing a boy. "Riley is in line," I tell him.

Masen throws another strike and we cheer for him. I hope this is enough distraction for Edward. He thinks telling Emma she can't date until she is thirty-five is a realistic request.

Jake comes and sits in front of us. His son is on the team with Masen. He divorced Leah, and remarried Vanessa. It's not strange to have him in our life. His son, Seth is Masen's best friend. It's really strange how life puts people in your life, and brings them back.

Even if you loose touch with them, even if at some point you never wanted to see them again, the universe finds some way to put them right back on your doorstep. It's like that with Jake. He has always been who I needed him to be. Even if it was wrong. Even if I don't want to admit our affair was part of some fucked up way of needing a man in my life. A man that I didn't have to expect anything from. It's hard to think of myself as that girl, but I'm not her anymore. And Jake isn't that guy. People change. A zebra can change it's stripes. You can't tell if a zebra is black with white stripes or white with black stripes, but in the end does it matter?

If it did, I'd be a lonely bitter lost girl.

People can forgive. People can move past. Love can make things perfect. Love allows mistakes. Edward's taught me all of this. Accepted me, with all my faults. All my white lies that he has long forgotten about. Water under the bridge. And that's why Jake is still my friend. Our friend.

He was a friend to me when I felt alone. My friendship with him wasn't defined by being Edward's fiance, or Masen's mom, or the evil step-mother. It was about me. Sure, I was all of those things, but it was nice to have someone look beyond them. Jake did that. That's why I never talked to him about my family at first when I struggled with my depression. I wanted to more than that, just for a few minutes a day.

When Edward trusted me with him, when he didn't flip out like he had every right to for keeping it from him, I knew there was a perfect love. I was lucky enough to have found that with Edward. With our children.

So we don't dwell on the mistakes of our past. It's pointless. We can't change the things we did. We focus on what is in front of us, and today it's perfect day for baseball and friendship and family.

**EPOV**

After Bella started working, we saved all her money until we had enough saved to buy our own house. We stayed in the same township. Just upgraded to a bigger house in a gated community called Springton Pointe.

Bella never wanted something so big, but when you have four kids, and you can afford it, you go big. Because now that we are here, with our five bedrooms, Bella is thankful she has some place to go.

The kids love the pool. The in-laws love the mini apartment in the basement they can stay in when they come to visit.

Bella can't do it all by herself though. She can't take care of four kids, work, and manage this huge house I insisted on. So we have Maria. She helps out with whatever we need done. But never with the chores the kids have. No way they are going to be spoiled, although Bella would disagree.

Emma has more clothes and shoes then I care to count. Riley has a thing for baseball caps and guitars. Masen has more electronics then I care to count. My newest little princess...Lettie...well she has tubs overflowing with barbies. I never tell them no. But they have responsibilities, and consequences. They are good kids. Even with Emma testing my patience lately. I really can't handle her with boys, and boys call for her...a lot. I guess I should be thankful it's not just one boy. This way I know she isn't getting wrapped up in any of them.

Bella didn't need to work at all, but she likes her job. It was nice that all my hard work had paid off. All those years spent struggling for money, worrying about paying bills are long behind me. Us.

I may not be a millionaire professional hockey player like Emmett, but that is just fine by me. I love my job. I love my life, my kids. My wife. Bella, I love her more and more everyday. I remember the first time I saw her walk through my parents door on thanksgiving. How beautiful and confident she was. When I saw her with Emma for the first time. I think that is when I knew I loved her.

I work three twenty four hour shifts a week. It's hard but also very rewarding. It gives me days off to be there for my family. New residence come and go. Some are diamonds in the rough, others don't last a week.

I see Bella curled up on the couch watching TV. Lettie is sleeping on the chair next to her. I go to sit with her, and she wraps herself around me.

"Where's Masen?" I ask.

"Him and Riley went out back to throw the ball around," Bella tells me.

I start kissing her neck and feeling her breasts on the outside of her shirt.

"Stop, not here," she giggles.

"Fine, then let's put Lettie in bed and lock ourselves in our bedroom," I tell her grinding my hard on against her.

"You carry the baby!" she tells me, running playfully away towards the steps. I smirk at her.

"I'm gonna get you!" I tease her.

"Only if you can get me!" she says running up the stairs.

I grab Lettie and take her up in her room. I kiss her head, and she wraps her arms around my neck. I can't resist. I lay down next to her.

"Dadda," she mumbles in her sleep. I kiss her cheek, and hum. Waiting patiently for her to fall back asleep. I take in her beauty. Bella's hair. My eyes. She loves that all the kids have my eyes. Except for Riley. Although he has perfected my smirk.

Once her breathing is even, and her hands go limp around my neck, I slide out of the bed. I make my way down the hallway into the master bedroom, pushing the door open, I see Bella in bed.

Asleep.

No day is easy in our life. Never perfect. Always ours.

**Look for 2 more collabs I am working on in the future. One is Under The Boardwalk it takes place in Wildwood NJ. It's an Older Edward, Younger Bella story. She meets him thanks to her fake ID, and he isn't supposed to stay through the summer...**

**The other one is funnier, lighter, music based fic. DandieGoose is the beta (Hi baby, I know you have been waiting forever for this...Epi!) ANYWAY! The title makes me giggle, that's why I love it. It's called Hunk O' Burnin' Love. It's like 1955 and Edward is on the brink of fame, touring the south, driving girls crazy with his vulgar dancing...and he is falling in love with his back up singer Bella. **

**So, I hope you all come and give them a read, if you put me on author alert you will know when they post! **

**I love you all soooo much! This is just goodbye for APL! It's gonna take a lot to get rid of me! HEHE! So hit that review and say goodbye to this story. even if it's your first ever review. It was my first for a lot...contest, airplane sex, anal sex...lol! So tell me what you thought, even if you thought it was so-so! **


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